Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

In January of 2012 my soul mate of 42 years passed away after nearly 12 years of living with severe disabilities due to a stroke. I survived the first year after Don’s death doing what most widows do---trying to make sense of my world turned upside down. The pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties are well documented in this blog.

Now that I’m a "seasoned widow" the focus of my writing has changed. I’m still a widow looking through that lens but I’m also a woman searching for contentment, friends and a voice in my restless world. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. I say I just write about whatever passes through my days---the good, bad and the ugly. Comments welcome and encouraged. Let's get a dialogue going! Jean

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Sex, Lack of Sleep and Pink Toenails

Naming my blog posts has always been harder for me than writing an entire post. I thought about naming this one The Joys of Self Sex but then I’d have write about the topic and while I’m not a prude, that’s not going to happen. I learned my lesson back in my first year of widowhood when I wrote a post titled, Sex with a Ghost. That one still pulls in views from all over the world. Who would have guessed that sex with a ghost would be so popular and since self sex is ever so much more common than ghost sex, my poor little view counter would probably get busted if I were to write about that touchy---no pun intended---subject. Instead, I’ll just start ramble writing and see what ends up on my computer screen.

I am worn out! I am not cut out for the busy social life I’m been living since spring in pursuit of building friendships. I could curl up in a ball and sleep like a bear for the next three months except my dog won’t let me sleep past daylight in the swamps. I don’t live near a swamp, that’s just a metaphor for when it’s light enough for Levi to make out his nemesis, The Rabbit, through the hazy light of dawn. Every morning  during my childhood and high school days my mom would wake me up by yelling, “It’s daylight in the swamps!” We didn’t live never a swamp back then either, nor did she when she was growing up. Some family sayings stick through the generations, don’t they, to a time when their origins is all but forgotten. My father’s favorite, silly phrase was, “Do you live around here or ride a bicycle?” And he would ask that question of any little kid he encountered. I just googled the phrase and was surprised to see it appeared in 4-5 obituaries of people in my dad’s age bracket and the origin of the phrase seems to come from The Gargoyle Magazine (of College Wit and Humor) Volume 18,1924. Don’t you just love Google? The moral of that little story is be careful what you include in any obituary you might be required to write because Google will spit it out to anyone who comes knocking on its door…like my Sex With a Ghost post that will live on past a time when I, too, am nothing but an see-through entity that comes in the night. Again, no pun intended.

The dog went to the groomers this week and I got a pedicure. Let’s hear it for clean schnauzer fur and pink human toenails. I wish I could still reach my toenails---I don’t bend like I used to---because I hate paying $41.00 to get the job done. A friend of mine from the senior hall broke her wrist trimming her toenails, can you believe that! She gets hers done professionally now, but it was a long time before she could drive again after her surgery, the cast and physical therapy that followed the break. Old people woes. No matter how you try to avoid them they find you anyway like chin hairs and nipples that don’t line up without adjusting them manually. One goes south, the other goes west looking pretty silly through our silky blouses and thin sweaters and it never happens to pre-menopausal women with their firm breasts. I’m still mad about that.

My irrigation system guy was supposed to work on a leaky valve this morning but we had thunder storms last night and this morning making it impossibly wet where he’d have to work and he has to reschedule when he gets back to the office. So I’m sitting here wasting the time that was earmarked to follow him around like a puppy dog looking for treats. Well, not exactly wasting time. I’m waiting for a total of four---count them! One, two three, four---call-backs for scheduling appointments. Damn world thinks old people have all day to sit around waiting for the phone to ring. Once the calls all come in I'll be too busy again. I think I’ll take a nap and hope Don’s ghost doesn't come by for a little tryst. I really am getting sleep deprived! ©

12 comments:

  1. "It's Daylight in the Swamp" was my Daddy's awakening shout. He said it was an old saying from deer hunting days--had to get out in the woods early to get the kill. I was born in the era where girls didn't do that sort of thing. Actually, I tried once, when I was in my 40's and got to laughing so hard--it was a waste of time. I don't have any "wet dreams" anymore. My vaginal walls have dried up and collapsed onto themselves. I am probably a virgin again! I wish for one thing--that you would keep those nasty, severe thunderstorms over on the Sunset Side of the State!!!

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    1. That's interesting that your dad used that saying, too! I've never heard that explanation before. I have thought about it many times and reasoned that it meant it was getting late in the morning because daylight came later in the swamp since the fog lingered over the swamps longer than on land or sea.

      We are getting more storms this week, every day rain is in the forecast. It was so dark at two o'clock today it was just like night inside.

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  2. When I started reading your last paragraph--your "irrigation system" guy--I thought for a minute you had sex!!! Oh BTW==I never know what to title my posts either.

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    1. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The irrigation system guy the company sent out today is just a baby in man pants, must be all of 25.

      My husband used to give all my paintings and essays their titles. He was so good at it.

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  3. Oh..I forgot. I wanted to thank you for mentioning misaligned breasts. I thought I was the only one who had one nipple pointing toward my navel and one pointing toward my right elbow. PHEW--reassuring to me that I don't have some strange breast disease!!

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    1. Always glad to be of service. LOL

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  4. Jean,
    I laughed my way through that first paragraph.
    I gave myself my last pedicure a couple of days ago. It's just too hard, and I don't see well enough to even know what kind of job I did.

    I hope Don didn't stop by during your nap. Sad to say we're at the age when we need sleep more than sex.

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    1. That's actually my problem, too. I can just barely reach my toes but I can't see what I'm doing and I'd probably cut off my toe.

      I am still so tired out and I'm starting to get worried about it. Can't seem to catch up.

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    2. I have a problem with fatigue, too. It affects everything. I keep hoping it will go away.

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    3. Bummer, isn't it! I was able to get two extra hours of sleep on Sunday and that helped a little, but...still not where I'd like to be.

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    1. Your welcome and thank you for reading. LOL

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