Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

In January of 2012 my soul mate of 42 years passed away after nearly 12 years of living with severe disabilities due to a stroke. I survived the first year after Don’s death doing what most widows do---trying to make sense of my world turned upside down. The pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties are well documented in this blog.

Now that I’m a "seasoned widow" the focus of my writing has changed. I’m still a widow looking through that lens but I’m also a woman searching for contentment, friends and a voice in my restless world. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. I say I just write about whatever passes through my days---the good, bad and the ugly. Comments welcome and encouraged. Let's get a dialogue going! Jean

Friday, August 8, 2014

C Week: Chiropractors, Cement, Choices and Classes



It was an exciting day around here. First and foremost I saw my chiropractor about my painful shoulder and neck and things are better in the pain department here on Widowhood Lane. I may have to go back on Monday, but she doesn’t really think it will take more than that to get my bones back to where they belong. Knock on wood, soon I might start sleeping through the night instead of waking up whenever I turn over.

After seeing the doctor, I came home to a driveway full of hunky guys who were bare-chested (in my imagination) and breaking up the concrete in half of my driveway. Darn Michigan weather got too cool for construction workers to strip down to their six packs. A month ago they were here to raise some of the better slabs, but today they were replacing slabs that were too damaged to do anything but remove and start from scratch. I signed the contract back the end of May and I'm so happy to finally get the money for this project out of my checkbook and for the right reason. Seeing it there for so long was making me feel like I could follow my lust and buy a tablet and a bunch of girlie stuff that I really don’t need. These young guys were so personable, down-to-earth and friendly it made me feel good to have them around. They wouldn’t know how to give an elderly woman the you-only-have-half-your-beans-upstairs treatment if they tried. They’ll be back tomorrow before breakfast to pour the new cement. My house cleaner comes tomorrow, too, so I’ll have plenty of conversation that doesn’t involve canine-to-human mind reading.

Yesterday I went for tea with my Red Hat Society sisters which we should call a coffee since we were all drinking Starbucks. For some strange reason that lacks common sense they scheduled another walk-about for September and in the same week as one that was already on the calendar---we usually do just one a month. Normally I wouldn’t care but it felt like there was an undercurrent of politics involved that I wasn't understanding. And the two walk-abouts also fall in the same week that: A) My Senior Hall mystery day trip takes place; B) The dog has to be dropped off and picked up at the kennel the day before and after the trip; C) My Movie and Lunch Club meets, and D) A class I may take at a local college takes place. I can’t do all that in one week and live to tell about it, so I had to make a choice. I stressed my brain out so much deciding you’d think I was making a Sophia’s Choice kind of decision. What to do---the Farmer’s Market followed by omelets at a fancy-do downtown restaurant or the Deer and Elk Park out in the boondocks? Jeez, Jean, just decide and live with it regardless of the politics or power struggle that may be involved! Even with my self-imposed news block out still in place, politics are still finding a way to squirm into my life, even if it's just on this micro-mini level.

The catalog for the senior enrichment classes at the local college came in the mail this week and I’m debating between five classes: 1) Vulnerabilities of Aging: Laughter amid the Tears; 2) World Music Sampler; 3) The Never Ending Frontier (about the North American Cahokia); 4) The Humor of Jean de La Fontaine; and 5) Fun with Metaphors. The one I’m leaning towards is the Metaphors class even though the idea of creating metaphors in a class setting scares me to death. My second choice is the music class. I wish one or the other was in the afternoon to make my choice easier but both are 9:30 to 11:30 and last for four weeks. They also have a drawing class but I’m saving that one for the Fall II semester so I can slide that hobby right into winter when I'll be stuck at home more often than not.

Monday this week I got my first ever massage. I sent a text to my niece afterward, who loves getting full body massages, and I told her she’s going to be sorry she recommended massages after I burn up all her inheritance at the mind/body center. I’d like to try the hot stone & matrix massage next but the therapist who did my back massage said they didn’t do anything for her that a normal massage can't do and they cost a lot more. Keep an eye on me, kids. I just downloaded a free book to my Kindle called Essential Oils for Beginners The Guide to Get Started with Essential Oils and Aromatherapy. When you see a yoga mat and a Hoyer Patient Lift in the house (to help get me off the floor after a yoga session) you’ll know I’ve gone overboard with the holistic healing thing. In the meantime, my plan for getting my mojo back seems to be working. ©


14 comments:

  1. good for you! i love being busy too! but i dislike massage, i have no idea why. i just don't like the invasion of my space like that i think in a non romantic way. nuts? yes, i know.

    and no, there is no REAL toe inspection on a ship. lol

    smiles, bee
    xooxoxox

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    1. Good to know---about the 'toe inspector'. LOL Can't wait until your cruise so I can follow along through your blog.

      I don't think I'd like a full body massage. That seems invasive to me. I'm also not crazy about manicures for the same reason---all the hand holding and no romance---but I don't feel the same way about pedicures. Good thing we're all different.

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  2. I remember the Hoyer Patient Lift well. I used it for Dad before he was mobile again.

    Your massage sounds wonderful. I've never had one, and I don't really know why. My best friend loves them.

    We've had a number of things done around the house over the past year, and we've enjoyed the mostly young repairmen and craftsmen and other workers a lot. They've been so polite and talkative. It's been a nice experience. I couldn't convince them to take their shirts off though.

    Can't wait to hear about your classes and trips. I'm glad your plans are all going well. Avoid politics if you can. I've gone back in deep since yesterday. It feels like the world is on fire.

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    1. With the House and Senate on vacation it's a little easier to avoid politics, but I know what you mean about getting drawn back in in recent days. I am still torn between a need to stay informed and a need to protect my inner-self until I'm feeling 100% again.

      Try a massage someday. It was a little weird at first, not knowing what to expect but it is very relaxing. I was so relaxed at just 15minutes that I had a hard time walking. LOL

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  3. I am hoping for hot and humid tomorrow so the hunks have to strip a bit!!! I'm extremely worn out just reading your choices. I too have refused to watch any news lately--even the local news--which comes out of Detroit. I feel much better, emotionally

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    1. I think we will get our wish hot and humid, strip weather.

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  4. Oh yes--when I get a massage, I usually "flow" off the table like slightly thickened Jell-O. So relaxing!!!

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    1. I did not expect that! At first I thought there was something wrong with me.

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    2. See, that's what is so great about blogs. We get to compare notes. I am so glad to know that you have the same sensation.

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  5. Massage is such a treat and I love it, but for some reason rarely get one. I know some who go weekly! And you might give Yoga a try. I go 2-3 times a week (and write a blog for the studio). I swear it has made me stronger, more flexible, and more balanced than I was when I was much younger! I go to a class that is "gentle" and is mostly slow stretches or "general" which is more advanced, but not overly strenuous, just has more difficult poses. I stay away from "flow" (I might be able to do it, but it's a workout and I'm a bit lazy) and would not go near a "hot yoga" class for all the money in the world! I'd pass out in the first 10 minutes!

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    1. With my two fake knees and two previously broken elbows---one that is screwed back together in three places---there is no way I'm getting down on a floor for yoga. I can't get the leverage to get back up. But your blog has inspired me to take the Stretch and Flex classes My older brother takes a yoga class and he loves it. I just found out the senior hall added another Zumba class at an hour that fits my life. I'm hoping to fit that in. They say it's lots of fun. I sit too much!

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  6. Totally understand about the "new parts' issue. Stretch and Flex is likely very similar. My Yoga teacher always says, "Take action on your own behalf" when encouraging us to NEVER do anything our bodies don't want to do and that hurts us. Sounds like you know your limit. I've never done Zumba…Let me know what you think of it. I was in a Jazzercise class last fall that was populated by mostly women in their 60's and 70's. It was like the Fountain of Youth or something -- they had all been doing it for a decade or more and were in terrific shape. But I eventually dropped out due to the pressure to also socialize with them -- constant invitations to coffee and potlucks and outings. I wasn't looking for a full social calendar; just a little work out. It got tiresome to say "No thanks" so often. I did keep going for awhile and eventually they stopped asking, but then I felt a little ostracized. People are funny.

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    1. They have jazzercise group of 60+ people around here too that are popular. I think the reason they are so popular in that age bracket is because we all cut our teeth on taking tap and jazz lessons back when we were kids. I had 5-6 years of tap, ballet and jazz myself when I was young.

      Everyone who does Zumba says it's fun. They've added a second class to the calendar which is the only reason I can sign up now, it's that popular.

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