Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

In January of 2012 my soul mate of 42 years passed away after nearly 12 years of living with severe disabilities due to a stroke. I survived the first year after Don’s death doing what most widows do---trying to make sense of my world turned upside down. The pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties are well documented in this blog.

Now that I’m a "seasoned widow" the focus of my writing has changed. I’m still a widow looking through that lens but I’m also a woman searching for contentment, friends and a voice in my restless world. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. I say I just write about whatever passes through my days---the good, bad and the ugly. Comments welcome and encouraged. Let's get a dialogue going! Jean

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Comfort Foods and Bitchy Wives



I hate to admit this but the more I purge stuff in the garage, the more I eat. Comfort foods have been my down fall since---well, it’s all my mother’s fault and don’t we all know it---which means its back to diet rehab I go. For me, that means tracking every single thing that goes in my mouth. I do my tracking at Everyday Health but there are other websites that care about your calorie intake and will “yell” at you when you go over that they say you need. When my eating gets out of control, it’s the only thing that is successful in pulling me back. I track for a few days without making any changes just to prove what I already know---that I truly am out of control---before I start cutting back to the 1,000 calories they say I need. Breakfast: Protein shake 230 calories, ½ cup of blueberries 43, cream in my coffee 35. Yup, it’s not even noon and already I’m 35 calories into Bad Girl Land.

Purging stress aside, sorting Don’s stuff in the garage can be entertaining at times. He was Mr. Disorganized and he loved tiny items (think things under the size of a pack of cigarettes) and when he’d come home from a flea market or antique mall, he’d throw his little treasures in plastic shoe boxes with no rhyme or reason for what he threw in together. When a box was full, he’d get another one started. Last night in front of the TV I sorted a box and I found a rolled-up bumper sticker that read: “Honk if You Slept With Clinton.” That made me laugh right out loud. But the most fascinating thing I found was a gold, telescoping mechanical pencil the size of a sewing thimble when it was closed and six inches long when it was open. I spent some time speculating it was designed for a spy to use to write down the launch codes to a missile in France that was aimed at Russia. I tested a few other scenarios because every object in Don’s ‘treasure boxes’ has a story to tell but this one is being very closed-lipped about its past adventures. I tried to research telescoping pencils but all I got was jealous because I found one with a built-in ruler on the side. Still, mine should go for between $45 and $110 on e-Bay, if past sales are any indication. 

I got a much needed haircut on Monday. I can’t believe that since last winter I went from worrying I’d be bald in a year to having too much hair by the end of July---thank you thyroid meds for putting an end to my nasty hair loss trend. My hairdresser actually did some thinning of my hair and that hasn’t happened in a long time. If I had jet black hair, the asymmetrical pixie cut she gave me would look totally Gothic, bangs cut short on one side and going long by the time they get to the opposite side ear. Some ironing required. I love to iron my hair; it’s a newly acquired skill. I’ve got naturally curly hair so I’m fascinated that with a little “spray starch” and heat I can be Gothic straight and spiky. At least in the front where I can reach.

Tuesday the senior hall had its annual ice cream social compliments of a local dairy that donates their products. I don’t even want to talk about what Everyday Health thought about that indiscretion in Bad Girl Land. Ice cream is a big-time comfort food in my Book of Sins and it’s one of the reasons I’m at Everyday Health again. Yes, I confess I recently discovered Breyers Tiramisu Gelato. Good-bye, Gelato! We had a lovely love affair while it lasted. That will be ten Hail Mary’s and a salad.  

Anyway, at the ice cream social the same three piece band played as last year. Think Grizzly Adams on the keyboard, Don Knotts on the drums and an emaciated Bob Hope on the guitar. The lead singer told that same old people jokes as last year and I’m pretty sure they played all the same songs as well. It didn’t matter. Their Duke Ellington, Frank Sinatra, Michael Buble`, Elvis, and Johnny Cash were well done and the southern gospel they mixed in were all well-received sing-alongs.

At one point, though, before the band started I accidentally earned the scorn of a bitch-wife. These events seat 110 people at tables of twenty-four and near-by me was a couple. When a server came around to offer a second scoop of ice cream the man in the couple wanted one. One problem. He and his wife had already stacked their dishes and spoons in with a pile of others on the table. So, he had the server put the ice cream in a water glass. That left him without a spoon until his wife grabbed one from the pile of dirty spoons and she said, “Here, use this one.” “Who’s was it?” he asked. “I don’t know,” she answered, “Just use it!” The look on his face made me speak up, “Do you want a clean spoon? I’ll get one out of the kitchen for you.” (I was sitting at the end of the table, easier for me to get out than either one of them so it seemed logical for me to ask. What did I know?) His wife gave me the dirtiest look as if I was making a hussy’s play for her man. But he really did want a clean one, so off I went. After that, she gave me the coldest shoulder and I checked her off my list of potential friends. With my luck, I fear she’ll be my seatmate on the bus trip coming later this week and that will make me order all comfort foods at lunch. ©

16 comments:

  1. Do you have Friendlys ice cream out your way? I went to the supermarket today specifically for ice cream (and coffee). It was 89 F and I was out of ice cream, having eaten it twice yesterday! (It was 89F yesterday too). My preference is Hagan Das but i don't like to pay $4.99 for a pint and I didn't want to drive further to the store that sells it cheaper so I ended up with Friendlys. I looked at the Breyers but I always find that Breyers is good when first opened but it doesn't taste as good after a few days. I suppose that means it's fairly pure (I say fairly because Breyers used to be as pure as Hagan Das but then they started adding other ingredients and as far as I am concerned, if cream isn't the first ingredient, it isn't going to be good ice cream. I was disappointed in the Friendlys too and may have to spend $4.99 for the good stuff.
    I don't eat ice cream in the winter so now is the time to enjoy it!
    Regards,
    Leze

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    1. I'm a Ben and Jerry's fan but mostly I don't buy ice cream to have at home because I'll eat it too fast. I buy a dish or cone when I'm out. We had Friendlys ice cream here decades ago but I don't remember seeing it since then. Hagan Das is great but, oh, the calories!

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  2. I hope she's not a Wiccan or she will cast a spell on you. Keep checking for falling hair!!!

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    1. Heaven forbid I should have your problem with your Wiccan neighbors. LOL

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  3. Good for you and your continued purging. I spent about two hours and took three grocery bags of stuff to recycle (I should have shredded ... but don't have one here!)

    Maybe it's the time of year or phase of the moon ... but I have NOT been a Weight Watcher this week. Today I have just had fruit. And water. Lots of both. Tomorrow morning is weigh in.

    Good for your for being a GOOD table mate! How rude of her!

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    1. I've been to weight watches several times over my life but their program has me thinking about food too much!

      I don't know what that woman's problem was but I'm guessing she's used to the people around her doing what they she says and she didn't like her husband having another option. I looked at that spoon and the look on his face and I wouldn't have used it for all the ice cream in town.

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  4. I love ice cream. Hubby and I had some the other day. I had ice cream instead of lunch and I didn't gain an ounce. I do that trade off now and then and it works for me.

    I lived in a senior park (it turned senior before I did and they grand-mothered me in), and after spending some time with some of those folks I swore I'd never do activities with them. I'm planning on sticking to that. Some of your posts remind me of those fickle, miserable people. Not you, but them.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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    1. I've done ice cream instead of lunch, too. I don't remember ever having a flavor or brand I didn't like.

      Some seniors really are "old and bitchy" aren't they/we. I still can't believe that woman got annoyed at me for getting her husband a spoon. I wouldn't want to use a dirty spoon from an unknown person.

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  5. Oh ice cream...how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.... and the 40 pounds I gained basically living on easy-to-eat junk food when raising my boys. Oy! I totally relate to comfort food's siren song. My new Fit Bit has a feature where I can log all my food for the day and it tells me how many calories I can eat based on my activity level. Some days it's not very many! Which helps motivate me to move more.

    I'm glad you got that guy a clean spoon. Sheesh!

    And your haircut sounds fabulous!

    (PS...Most real Wiccans -- the ones really practicing the "olde religion" -- don't cast negative and hurtful spells, believing "whatever you do comes back to you, threefold".)

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    1. Fit Bit sure has become popular in recent years. I know so many people who have one. For me, I'd probably wear it a month or so then it would sit like my pedometer. I really am a fad person who quickly tires of stuff.

      I don't know anything about Wiccans except that Judy claims they are all liberals. LOL

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    2. LOL Well, if political at all, I'd say they'd be more welcomed in the liberal camp no doubt.

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    3. You're probably right. LOL From a quick research I just did before I posted on Judy's blog I found this: "70.9% of Wiccans do not vote and of those who do, only 40.5% are registered as Democrats with the rest split between Republicans, Independents and The Green Party."

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  6. LOL about the bitch-wife.

    I lost twenty pounds, but I've been eating like crazy this summer. It requires constant vigilance.

    The bumper sticker is a hoot. H worked for ATT, and back in the eighties, we saw a bumper sticker that read, "Let a telephone man put it in."

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    1. That's funny. I have an entire box full of political bumper stickers to sell, some are quite funny. I'm selling them closer to the election.

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  7. Ah, yes, I'm a comfort eater, too. I just found my way to one of the online tracking sites this past week --myfitnesspal.com. I'm impressed that you can manage a 1000-calorie diet; I just about freaked out when I put in my current weight, weight goal, activity level, and the rate at which I want to lose weight (1/2 lb. per week) and it calculated that I could only eat 1480 calories per day! I would have given up before I even started if it had said 1000. Fortunately, it turns out that when you log exercise, it calculates how many calories you've burned and adds those to your calorie allowance for the day -- which has turned out to be a great incentive to get out and walk every morning. -Jean

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    1. Myfitnesspal.com sure is a popular place. The place I go does all the same things but Ive been using the other place before Myfitnesspal.com existed. I guessing you get more calories than my because you're taller and more active. I've lost 4 1/2 inches in height since menopause!

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