Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

In January of 2012 my soul mate of 42 years passed away after nearly 12 years of living with severe disabilities due to a stroke. I survived the first year after Don’s death doing what most widows do---trying to make sense of my world turned upside down. The pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties are well documented in this blog.

Now that I’m a "seasoned widow" the focus of my writing has changed. I’m still a widow looking through that lens but I’m also a woman searching for contentment, friends and a voice in my restless world. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. I say I just write about whatever passes through my days---the good, bad and the ugly. Comments welcome and encouraged. Let's get a dialogue going! Jean

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Fancy-Pants Dining, Haircuts and Mr. President




Practically in my back yard is a large culinary college that is listed in the top five in the USA. Every year our senior hall has a popular event where they’ll bus 100 of us (25 at a time on four consecutive days) down to their 5-star style restaurant. This week was my third year going and I’ll keep going as long as I can still spoon food into the biggest orifice in my head. The ambience and food are to die-for and out of the norm for my dining experiences. We sat at tables of six and the conversation focused on the food, the dessert cart and the chefs that came out to answer questions about unidentifiable flavor profiles in the dishes and how they were prepared. I had the “Caribbean Adobo Braised Pork” with sofrito and pineapple sauce and for dessert I practically had an orgasm devouring the tiramisu cake in an eatable chocolate dish served with a scoop of coffee ice cream on the side. Each time we go, we tour a different part of the college and the bakery was on slate this week. After lunch we went on a mystery side trip that turned out to be a tour of the fire department and its regional-wide training center. They had a “house” with moveable walls that can be filled up with smoke so the firefighters can’t see where they’re going. I swear they must have picked the cutest guy in the department to do the talk and tour. Dimples and tiramisu in the same day? It doesn’t get much better than that. 

I got a new hair style this week---breezier and easier for a spring that includes more showers now that I’m going to the gym three to four times a week. It seems like the longer you go to the same stylist the more they get into auto-pilot-cutting your hair and then you end up with a helmet head. At least that happens to me. So I searched for a photo to bring with me and when I showed it to the stylist she said, “That’s not going to work.” I didn’t expect resistance. “Why not?” I asked. “Because It’s longer than the cut you have.” Say what? I couldn’t believe it but I wasn’t about to argue with a lady holding a pair of sharp scissors. “I’m not married to that photo,” I said. “What do you suggest?” Instead of answering she asked me what I was trying to achieve and I told her I wanted to get rid of the bulk on top and be able to towel dry my hair after a shower and be good to go. Boy short. “Well, that’s not going to happen,” she replied. “As thick as your hair is if you go that short it will all stick straight up and there’s not enough jell in the world to make it lay down.” “So what should I do,” I begged, “walk around with a helmet in my arms so it looks like I have a good reason for having helmet hair?” She talked and I lost interesting in listening. Finally I ended her monologue with, “Why don’t you just surprise me.” She did. She gave me a cut that to my untrained eye looks like the one in the photo I brought in! “Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?” Well, I didn’t get the answer I wanted but my new cut is definitely ready for the sultry summer days.

A week or so ago a blogger friend, Bella Run, recommended signing up for The Word of the Day at Dictionary.com which I did and until yesterday I hadn’t received a word that I’d seen before or thought that I’d use in the future. Then an email came with this word: mumpsimus. “1) adherence to or persistence in an erroneous use of language, memorization, practice, belief, etc., out of habit or obstinacy, or 2) a person who persists in a mistaken expression or practice.” Who does that remind you of? Hint: He lives in a big white house. Oops, zip my mouth and slap me silly. My blog is in a controversy free zone. At least I’ve been trying to keep that way lately, but this past week has been a good week for those of us in The Resistance so I’m sticking my neck up like a periscope on a submarine. Feel free to take a potshot at me if you think the world is being unfair to Mr. Mumpsimus, if you don’t think Voltaire, the French philosopher of ye olden days, knew what he was talking about when he warned, “Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.”

Speaking of The Resistance, I had lunch with my oldest niece over the weekend, an early birthday treat on her part. I love that woman! We talked about the Russian entanglements in the White House, the failed Trumpcare bill, the second Muslim ban that's been blocked by several district courts and I got caught up on all things family related. We each had to drive a half hour to meet in the middle and as I drove home after lunch I couldn’t help feeling wistful that we can’t do it more often. I miss having people around who’ve known me longer than a minute and a half---who knew me when my brain and my tongue worked at the same speed and who can fill in when my memory fails me. Magic mirror on the wall, why can’t I age like smooth-as-silk Jamaica Rum instead of Hire’s Root Beer that’s gone flat? ©
The haircut

My dessert
A hard choice that came in second



26 comments:

  1. Your lunch sounds delicious! So does the fireman ;-)
    Ugh, the man that lives in that white house ...
    Every time I get a really short haircut, I look like a pin head.

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    1. A cute guy in a uniform gets me every time. LOL

      Ohmygosh, I forgot about the pin head look! There is that danger in short hair, isn't there.

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    2. I love the haircut! I keep my hair really short too as I'm prone to wash and wear. The desserts look heavenly and I wouldn't miss those dining experiences either. As for the person in the WH.....is it 2020 yet?

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    3. We paid $28.00 for the dinner (including tips), transportation and the two tours so it's a reasonably priced experience. Couldn't afford it every week but it's nice to treat yourself.

      2020 can't get her quick enough. I'm hoping for an impeachment in 2018.

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  2. I absolutely detest the "Helmet" hair cuts. I don't want any hair lying down on my face--it makes me look old. Short as can be, cut out around the ear, brushed up on the sides and off my forehead to bring the illusion of pulling my face up. HAH! As for the Dude in the big white house? I haven't seen one thing outta him that I like. I think his smartest move was to ditch the rehaul of Obama Care. He wanted to leave in coverage for kids living at home or college until age 26 and coverage for pre-existing conditions which is good, but the rest of it was a mess. If Hillary couldn't do it back in the 90's and Obama made a mess of it, why do we think any kind of national health care is going to be perfect? All I know is, premiums are going up, as are deductibles and many doctors are refusing to see new Medicare patients--because of Obama Care.

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    1. I knew Medicaid patients were having a hard time finding a doctor but I didn't know that was true of Medicare. Guess I'd better keep the one I've got. I'd like to see us to go Universal Payer System like most of the 1st world has.

      My stylist says even she gets helmet hair. How can that be? She says that all cuts just get too heavy when you're getting close to needing a haircut. I get mine cut every four weeks but remember when I could go a lot longer in between. I think it's the way they cut them, that will keep you coming back sooner. Same with pedicures. I don't get them often but when I've told them to go as short as possible, they don't do that. Looks nice but they grow out and get annoying quicker.

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  3. That does appear to be some fancy dining you did there. I also have a new haircut. Makes me look Butch. One of those dry it and let it fly. Nice.

    Listen Lady, I'm beginning to believe we will survive the next four years if the Resistence remains strong. We're going to be in big trouble if it doesn't. So far the Resistance is seeing good rewards for their hard work. Hopefully that will be enough to keep people involved in saving the country.

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    1. You are deeper involved in The Resistance that I am so I'm very encouraged by your prediction. It's too important to be wrong or to let up the pressure.

      I don't know if my haircut looks "butch" or "pinhead" or neither. I just know I'm going to have to dig out the bigger ear rings when I want to look more like a girl. LOL

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  4. Those are orgasmic desserts. I can see that!
    I like that haircut. We need easy and cute. Honestly, we should be able to have both. When the grands were here last weekend, I gave my grandson a word for the day: ort - a scrap or crumb. Then I texted another one to him: bumbershoot - umbrella. I got both of them from The Word of the Day. It's fun.

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    1. When I first signed up for the Word of the Day I had big plans to use one of their new-to-me words into my blog entries...just a little personal challenge. But this is the first post I was able to do that with. LOL

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  5. What a cute hair cut. I have cow licks galore so I could never pull it off. Wish I could. That dinner sounds amazing and cheap at twice the price.
    I agree with Linda. So far he is not getting the traction he thought he would get so doing what he wants will be difficult. Don't like his latest edict to remove environmental regulations. Don't know how we can stop that but we can't stop trying.

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    1. Cow licks are a pain, aren't they. I have just one but it's in a place where I don't have to look at it. LOL

      The removal of environmental regulations bothers the heck out of me, too. The Great Lakes Clean up is loosing 97% of its funding and it's important to millions of people who depend on clean drinking water.

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  6. Please do continue to use a Word of the Day in your blogs, and spread the knowledge.

    I like a short haircut too. I find that whichever way its cut, it loses its shape around the 5-6 weeks mark. In winter, I carry on regardless for a few weeks more.

    I know what you mean about shared memories with relations and close friends.

    You're more upbeat nowadays - from my own experience, I know that its a side benefit of regular exercise. I went out yesterday after being housebound for weeks, and came home feeling much better. ~ Libby

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    1. Glad you got out! Sometimes just pushing yourself out the door is the hardest part.

      I'm not making promises on the Word of the Day. I don't have a big vocabulary and working to build it is...well, REALLY hard work for me. I do admire people who study words with that in mind.

      I could not go 5-6 weeks without a haircut, I'd go nuts or wear hats all the time. Even if I'm growing my hair out I still go every 4 weeks.

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  7. Btw, +100 to the I-word for 2018, as also punishment and public humiliation for all the enablers.

    From my admittedly sketchy reading, President Osama's original plan was similar to single payer but the Republicans pushed back. Since trumpies (thankless creatures) would have been the biggest lovers if repeal had gone through, I wouldn't have been that upset. Joe Walsh's comments to me was proof that white idiots will live on regardless. ~Libby

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  8. *Obama* and *losers*.

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    1. Libby, I when I first skim-read your comment and saw the 'Osama' and 'lover' and 'white idiot' I thought someone was impersonating you. LOL

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    2. You're right about Obama's original health care bill being single payer but that didn't/never will never get through with Republican push back and/or until they get big money out of politics by overturning Citizen's United which won't happen any time soon. Walsh truly has to go! He makes our country look stupid!

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  9. Those desserts look very delicious!
    My hair, which is usually very short, does stand up on top. I don't mind that it stands up. I don't like it on my forehead which is why I usually keep it short. At the moment it happens to be longer. I don't know why, I think I probably just haven't gotten it cut in a while! I am now at the stage where I need to do something because the hair is about to fall below my eyebrows and then it will get really annoying! I am intending to go for a haircut this weekend..I'm just not sure how short I will be tempted to go!
    Regards,
    Leze

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    1. Since my hairdresser mentioned thick hair standing straight when it's short I've been noticing it on others. I thought it was an intentional style. I've had short hair most of my life.

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  10. I sometimes think about asking my hairdresser to surprise me with a new hair style, but then I chicken out. Maybe you'll inspire me to try something new. -Jean

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    1. Like I told her, if I didn't like it my hair cut, it grows fast and I like hats.

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  11. Those desserts look elegant, for sure. But when it comes to dessert, I'll take something a little more substantial and old-fashioned. Peach cobbler with cinnamon ice cream. Apple pie with cheddar. Pecan pie, period. And don't hand me one of those one-inch slivers, thank you very much.

    Now, let's talk about why weight loss is such a problem for me. :-)

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    1. They had an apple dessert you probably would have liked. The pineapple one looked great, too. I haven't had a good peach cobbler in decades. That sounds SO good I think I'll open up a can of peaches for breakfast.

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  12. I think you have a great vocabulary and you write really well!

    Can we have a photo of you with your new do?

    Thank you for the lovely comment on my blog. Since you're an art major, I'm guessing you would enjoy this website Savvy Painter It features successful artists talking about self-doubt (a biggie for every single one), what to do with the 30-50% of work that isn't up to par, and how to keep going. Might spark you to dig out the art supplies! My forty year old oil paints were still in good shape aside from some of the metal around the neck of the tubes starting to corrode.

    I'm so aghast at what comes out of POTUS mouth I can't see his first term finishing up without some kind of big shake up.

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    1. Last year I actually dug out my old art supplies and set up a work space in my spare bedroom but that's as far as I've gotten. Thanks for the recommendation and for the compliment about my writing. If anyone else reading this wants to see some awesome artwork, check out Lauren by clicking on her name above in blue.

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