tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post2275718515046319532..comments2024-03-28T20:40:18.960-04:00Comments on The Misadventures of Widowhood: Memorial Day in Widow LandMisadventures of Widowhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-14583861908001998382016-06-05T08:37:58.964-04:002016-06-05T08:37:58.964-04:00No reason you can't do both...scatter ashes an...No reason you can't do both...scatter ashes and have a gravestone. My mom and my husband both had that combination. Mom wanted to be scattered but my brother wanted the stone. But my husband wanted a stone but didn't care where he or his ashes ended up. I love that now the stones can hold one of those codes on them that you hold a phone up to read the person's history and/or see Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-17962437959568710512016-06-05T08:09:34.409-04:002016-06-05T08:09:34.409-04:00What a lovely park: a perfect place to sit with a ...What a lovely park: a perfect place to sit with a rocky road. So many of our memories were made on holidays. <br /><br />I've been lax about keeping flowers on my parents' grave recently. Their gravesite is over an hour from me. I'm not sure I want a grave. I may just have my ashes scattered. That's what I'm thinking. Jamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07551543776509110496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-79603418095547214682016-06-02T09:11:33.607-04:002016-06-02T09:11:33.607-04:00Isn't it a pretty place! I love both sitting t...Isn't it a pretty place! I love both sitting there and walking through it on the nature trail along the river which goes for miles. The other side of the river isn't quite so pretty but one side of it has a line of stores---ice cream, candy, restaurants, coffee shop---and the other side is the river and fishing access.Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-85734776963707729462016-06-02T09:03:57.622-04:002016-06-02T09:03:57.622-04:00Personally, I love cemeteries. Peace and quiet. ...Personally, I love cemeteries. Peace and quiet. That park is beautiful, Jean!Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03399435237919718544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-73253777481872792942016-06-02T07:27:55.145-04:002016-06-02T07:27:55.145-04:00Libby, I often answers the comments that come in o...Libby, I often answers the comments that come in over night with my first cup of coffee in the morning...like now. I'm half awake and could easily misunderstand no matter how well they are written.<br /><br />I remember that Roman speech. It does prove the point that with humans there is nothing new in our emotions and they do cycle through out time. That's one of the reasons why I am Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-45795954806910571832016-06-02T07:08:48.453-04:002016-06-02T07:08:48.453-04:00Call me crazy but I find cemeteries to be a peacef...Call me crazy but I find cemeteries to be a peaceful place to visit. Something about looking back makes us appreciate the presence more.<br /><br />Our peonies haven't even budded yet!Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-77563033103885364602016-06-02T04:45:15.679-04:002016-06-02T04:45:15.679-04:00On re-reading my comment/your response, I didn'...On re-reading my comment/your response, I didn't express myself clearly. All religions and cultures, be it Muslim, Shinto, Christian etc, are intertwined with honouring their dead. With the internet, its easier to read and note the commonalities and the customs, which undoubtedly were there before the internet. <br /><br />But its the commonalities in say politics, and education policy etc Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-72023403694751483172016-06-01T23:10:29.220-04:002016-06-01T23:10:29.220-04:00I meant to visit my grandmother's grave this w...I meant to visit my grandmother's grave this weekend, but my husband had projects lined up that precluded the visit. Perhaps I can go sometime this week. Unfortunately our peonies have already bloomed and gone, so I'll have to purchase some flowers for her grave. None of our family live in this town anymore -- we just moved back here after a thirty-year absence -- so no one has been Classof65https://www.blogger.com/profile/15620524862669295761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-73371744684029382652016-06-01T23:07:00.645-04:002016-06-01T23:07:00.645-04:00I think the commonalities were there before the in...I think the commonalities were there before the internet, but it did take longer for cultures to "borrow" from one of the other.We have a pyramid tomb, for example, in a local cemetery that was built in the 1800s by a rich guy who had traveled extensively.<br /><br />"Inner grief continues 'till the end." Well said!<br /> Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-53050523374027708992016-06-01T21:45:52.050-04:002016-06-01T21:45:52.050-04:00The practice of honouring the departed seems to be...The practice of honouring the departed seems to be across all religions and cultures. I'm also finding the same commonality across architecture, politics, education, housing, etc. I wonder if its a byproduct of the internet - although the only way I pick up the similarities is *because* of the internet, so chicken/egg situation.<br /><br />While my family did the traditional customs for the Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-10886797650269884972016-05-31T22:28:50.306-04:002016-05-31T22:28:50.306-04:00Maybe you could do a "In Memory" notice ...Maybe you could do a "In Memory" notice on an upcoming sadiversary of Ralph's pass in the newspaper. It would serve the same purpose as an obituary for future genealogists. <br /><br />In my 'Johnny Appleseed' days I decided to put ashes every place that Don loved---at Lake Michigan, in his hometown by the river, at his family farm and here at the house and I still had Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-25306519484038852362016-05-31T21:09:06.434-04:002016-05-31T21:09:06.434-04:00I've not heard of any fires. They do have vol...I've not heard of any fires. They do have volunteers who gather them up to refurbish for the next year.<br /><br />Sad to say ... I did not do an obituary for Mr. Ralph nor have I yet had a bit of his ashes stored at a cemetery ... Oregon? Indiana? Maui? All three? None? YIKES<br />The Awkward Widowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03729456066739275695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-4945645927912368722016-05-31T19:40:25.845-04:002016-05-31T19:40:25.845-04:00I've always wondered why those lantern ceremon...I've always wondered why those lantern ceremonies don't star fires when they land. Any clue why they don't? They did one here on the river but with 20,000 lanterns surely some must have strayed off from over the water.<br /><br />Future genealogists might not have Grave Finder but they'll have better assess to obituaries than in the past and public records. Plus a lot of people Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-38737464950009085022016-05-31T18:21:28.691-04:002016-05-31T18:21:28.691-04:00So far, I have no traditions. I don't remembe...So far, I have no traditions. I don't remember visiting cemeteries when I was young either. My parents have no gravesite (lack of burial is going to hinder future generations when they try to do their genealogy!) nor does Ralph.<br /><br />I did watch part of the Honolulu Lantern Memorial ... I could never be in a crowd like that! My Maui widow friends are looking into have a little The Awkward Widowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03729456066739275695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-2746610564953857192016-05-31T18:15:14.915-04:002016-05-31T18:15:14.915-04:00I think most of us have a ting of sadness with Mem...I think most of us have a ting of sadness with Memorial Day because we've all have lost someone. My brother keeps up the stone for my mom and dad plus his second wife's and her son. For years Don and I used to do them for three generations of his family. I used to go with my dad to pay respects at his dad's grave. Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-45395807114393433342016-05-31T15:13:03.898-04:002016-05-31T15:13:03.898-04:00This was a touching, true, honest, beautiful post....This was a touching, true, honest, beautiful post. My parents and grandparents are buried in an old country cemetery in northern Illinois. No one tends their graves that I know of. My cousin used to go, but he has his own health issues, and I don't think he makes the trip anymore. Memorial Day is the day I think of those childhood trips to that cemetery when my mom would tend her parents donnajurenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10799559087972759233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-31644592986849126442016-05-31T14:59:19.378-04:002016-05-31T14:59:19.378-04:00I don't know if I'm "normal" or ...I don't know if I'm "normal" or not, but I think so. Though there's an often repeated line in widows circles that expresses the sentiment that no two widows grieve the same way. Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-4997185473585476672016-05-31T11:55:22.784-04:002016-05-31T11:55:22.784-04:00Interesting to watch the widow grief process throu...Interesting to watch the widow grief process through your eyes as I have yet to experience that kind of grief.Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11586429675286969340noreply@blogger.com