tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post6161599252075515423..comments2024-03-28T08:55:00.522-04:00Comments on The Misadventures of Widowhood: Beating Dead Horses and other True Confessions from a WidowMisadventures of Widowhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-85729351529649342672014-09-08T14:45:12.649-04:002014-09-08T14:45:12.649-04:00I got my positive, the-sun-will-shine-brighter-tom...I got my positive, the-sun-will-shine-brighter-tomorrow attitude from my dad and my worry-wort side from my mom. The years have taught me my dad was right most of the time, especial if I have a proactive plan to change things around, thanks to my mother's influence. LOLMisadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-21825127616660310722014-09-08T14:20:51.392-04:002014-09-08T14:20:51.392-04:00Jean, I love your positivity. I can relate to so m...Jean, I love your positivity. I can relate to so much of what you write about. I get the memory triggers often, good or bad...learning to deal with them I suppose. I'm glad you are back to exercising and healthy eating...I go back and forth myself but have been on a pretty good kick for awhile now (other than some naughty indulgences on my recent trip...lol). Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10692228819480165657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-88137726685891865382014-09-04T19:01:55.927-04:002014-09-04T19:01:55.927-04:00Judy, that makes perfect sense and you came up wit...Judy, that makes perfect sense and you came up with a much better description of what a widow of an unhappy marriage may go through than I could have come up because it comes from life experience. I'm you so sorry you had to go through all that. But it did make you the strong woman we see today if that is any consolation. Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-52351415061003451182014-09-04T11:25:07.051-04:002014-09-04T11:25:07.051-04:00I think that widows of bad marriages still get sad...I think that widows of bad marriages still get sad. Not so much by remembering the abuse, but in the wishing and knowing that it could have been better, but was not. Maybe they miss the high anxiety (excitement) that came with everyday of not knowing if their husband was going to be sane, or beat them. When I left my abusive husband, my life became very boring- It had been so stressful and Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03399435237919718544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-53646975654760711842014-09-04T09:36:24.075-04:002014-09-04T09:36:24.075-04:00I'm glad I left the chameleon behind in the pa...I'm glad I left the chameleon behind in the past too and she is never coming back. It's all about being authentic, isn't it and that really is hard to put yourself out there. I can do it in the blogs but in my real time life I tend to go with the flow in the name of social graces. Not that that's such a bad thing though...we need give and take in relationships. It's when you Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-38161005076611360482014-09-04T09:05:25.801-04:002014-09-04T09:05:25.801-04:00Good thing that secret thoughts can't exist on...Good thing that secret thoughts can't exist on the internet. LOL. Along with porno, widows' memories seem to be one of those taboos for folks, so underground they go. Must have gotten them out of my system on my blog, since I don't think of my late hubby much at all. Almost forgot his birthday and our anniversary this year. Good news is -The sheer number of new experiences - nearlyGowitheFlohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01842273685414939160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-37086821185868031802014-09-04T07:47:48.246-04:002014-09-04T07:47:48.246-04:00I think their own fear has a lot to do with it. I&...I think their own fear has a lot to do with it. I'm having lunch next week with an old friend from out of town who told me at Don's funeral that I'd "have lots of time for fun now that he's was gone." I knew she meant free of the caregiver roll but it felt like a dismissal of all the grief that had to work its way out before the so-called fun could start happening. Some Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-35341873831068115982014-09-04T04:04:55.947-04:002014-09-04T04:04:55.947-04:00Jean,
I don't know how you would stop memories...Jean,<br />I don't know how you would stop memories from popping into your head. Sometimes it's as if people think there's some imaginary timetable that dictates what "healthy" is. And I suppose everyone has their own idea of what "healthy" is. Too much judging and it makes me wonder if it's their own fear of the day they will be in the same position. It's Bella Rumhttp://culdesacchronicles.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-37724828338620729312014-09-03T22:19:35.987-04:002014-09-03T22:19:35.987-04:00Oh my gosh! 10,000 feet. I thought I was doing goo...Oh my gosh! 10,000 feet. I thought I was doing good to average 8,000 daily. <br /><br />The no "rules" part of the widow journey is what we each need to focus on the most. <br /><br />I had my Balance/Tai Chi class today. I love that class but will have to miss them the rest of the month because of the Metaphors class. But I start Zumba on Friday, which is another drop in and pay as youMisadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-79227451838245350262014-09-03T22:11:09.525-04:002014-09-03T22:11:09.525-04:00Now I know why no matter how early I get up your d...Now I know why no matter how early I get up your daily blogs are always there to usher in my day. You schedule! i will be following and cheering you on in your venture into "moving on."<br /><br />It's funny but the nights don't bother me as much as the day times. Probably because Don worked a lot a years on the night shift so I was more used to entertaining myself at night thanMisadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-71528441316624688812014-09-03T22:05:27.741-04:002014-09-03T22:05:27.741-04:00From the widows blogs I've read that are writt...From the widows blogs I've read that are written by younger widows I get the impression that their friends and family are even more intolerant of their talking about their dead husbands than with us older widows. So I'm inclined to think it's not a variant of our fear of aging. I think it's more a thing where some people think a widow should just move on. And we should move on andMisadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-35476572645352475122014-09-03T21:51:00.987-04:002014-09-03T21:51:00.987-04:00I'm pretty sure I will always think of him. H...I'm pretty sure I will always think of him. Hopefully, like you, it will be momentarily and not a weekend worth of crying and eating potato chips. The only good part of this widow journey is that there are no "rules". It is what it is ... just like any relationship.<br /><br />My Walk with Ease class started yesterday. Twice a week. And we got a pedometer. 10,000 steps was notThe Awkward Widowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03729456066739275695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-50156501239437372792014-09-03T21:29:29.324-04:002014-09-03T21:29:29.324-04:00i completely understand. i wrote tonight that wil...i completely understand. i wrote tonight that will publish at midnight about moving on a bit. am i ready? i think so. not sure but maybe. we'll see won't we? anyway i can always go back to where i am today, lonely every night if i don't make it.<br /><br />hugs, bee<br />xoxoxoxooxEmpress Bee (of the high sea)https://www.blogger.com/profile/08300140506585000934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-72135261438696748952014-09-03T20:26:37.366-04:002014-09-03T20:26:37.366-04:00Your observation that people have no trouble with ...Your observation that people have no trouble with someone missing a dead parent or friend, but are intolerant of widows missing their spouses is very interesting (and I think it's also spot on). Do you think this is a variant of our fear of aging? You can lose a parent when you are still quite young, but we associate widowhood with aging. Is the idea that a widow (or widower) should "Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com