tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post92288223727387640..comments2024-03-28T20:40:18.960-04:00Comments on The Misadventures of Widowhood: Nursing Homes and Barbie Dolls NailsMisadventures of Widowhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-13758145534491563162016-07-24T11:30:28.854-04:002016-07-24T11:30:28.854-04:00I didn't know that about the benchmark for con...I didn't know that about the benchmark for continued insurance. Maybe her family is NOT giving up, just having to working within the system. I think they are caring and concerned, just hamstrung by the system. Hmmmm... donnajurenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10799559087972759233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-11880084869825256642016-07-23T17:14:58.455-04:002016-07-23T17:14:58.455-04:00Insurance for stroke survivors---at least when Don...Insurance for stroke survivors---at least when Don was going through his rehab---depends on the therapies being able to document a 10% improvement every six weeks. It's very stressful for all involved to meet that benchmark. We are lucky to have a college near-by who do therapies with people once their insurance runs out, using students which, in my opinion, were often better than the ones Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-3307007135765366412016-07-23T16:35:51.657-04:002016-07-23T16:35:51.657-04:00It's a long story, but my mother in law ended ...It's a long story, but my mother in law ended up in a "hell hole" (my opinion based on 4-5 visits -- she lived 2000 miles from us) nursing home in suburban Chicago. We were so dismayed and when we expressed our concern, were told by other family members to butt out; it was not our decision to make. I often wonder if we should have pushed it, but we didn't. The staff there donnajurenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10799559087972759233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-3109786412136059262016-07-19T19:22:32.027-04:002016-07-19T19:22:32.027-04:00I guess that you're right. Let's be more p...I guess that you're right. Let's be more positive because you're back writing again and I very happy to be able to read blog again. See ya my friend from Michigan.<br /><br />Cruisin PaulCruisin Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13137904435537645207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-54831521262096485342016-07-18T19:37:18.459-04:002016-07-18T19:37:18.459-04:00Paul, I've actually been blogging twice a week...Paul, I've actually been blogging twice a week right alone...haven't missed a single time BUT the subscribe by email function doesn't seen to always work and I have no control over that.<br /><br />It takes a long time to move pass deep wounds like you and your mom suffered at the hands of indifference's at the nursing home. It happens all too often.Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-23632802173064957292016-07-18T19:30:04.472-04:002016-07-18T19:30:04.472-04:00I was also shocked that the one member of my S-I-L...I was also shocked that the one member of my S-I-L's family who had the power of attorney was so insensitive about the speed in which he rented out the house. It was unnecessary. <br /><br />My worry about my nieces is that they will be overwhelmed with care responsibility for too many older members of the family. Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-16546851947157349582016-07-18T18:30:53.549-04:002016-07-18T18:30:53.549-04:00Oh I'm so happy to see that your blog is back ...Oh I'm so happy to see that your blog is back in order. It's fun reading about your thoughts. About nursing homes. I really think that the one in Amherstburg killed my mother's spirit and she just gave up. When she in the hospital ( 6 months ) she was being treated very well and she only fell once and it was by accident. When it came time for her to be put into a nursing home, Cruisin Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13137904435537645207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-32466065435985768492016-07-18T18:07:11.294-04:002016-07-18T18:07:11.294-04:00No this does not make your selfish!!! (Funny, in ...No this does not make your selfish!!! (Funny, in my situation I do feel a trifle selfish, so I need to say the same thing to me.) I've never experienced anything as horrible as what you have. >>>shudder<<< My Dad's in an assisted living home, a Taj Mahal compared to a nursing home, evidently. I'm fuming just reading about that level of care. It is also shocking GowitheFlohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01842273685414939160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-46937411880497445392016-07-17T21:47:04.061-04:002016-07-17T21:47:04.061-04:00My husband I and learned early on with his mother ...My husband I and learned early on with his mother to make friends with the aids. We'd buy them little gifts and treat them well. It does make a difference. It also helped that my husband was good looking. LOL<br /><br />My two nieces are in charge of me if I need oversight but I need to let them know to move me close by them instead of were I live now. I have no friends who'd visit and ifMisadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-26680524295852780732016-07-17T21:06:26.714-04:002016-07-17T21:06:26.714-04:00Both my parents spent the last year of their lives...Both my parents spent the last year of their lives in nursing homes, and the difference in quality of the two facilities was enormous. (I thank my sister-in-law for getting my mother to consider a different place than the one my father had been in.) Among the things I learned: (1) When choosing a nursing home, check the Medicare ratings; there really are big differences between the 5-star Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-91648802704061434602016-07-17T17:18:50.544-04:002016-07-17T17:18:50.544-04:00Your family worked it out wonderfully. Sounds like...Your family worked it out wonderfully. Sounds like a nice place. I know a few people in assisted living and those places are far above the nursing homes of my experience. Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-45500599568435110902016-07-17T17:09:44.144-04:002016-07-17T17:09:44.144-04:00Selfish is a GOOD word ... with such a negative co...Selfish is a GOOD word ... with such a negative connotation. I think we are being kind to ourselves. <br /><br />My Dad was in an assisted living community for two years. It was mostly GOOD, a few glitches in the very beginning. My four brothers lived close and one brother visited twice a week. My sister and I would time our visits so everything would be spread out. The first year we "The Awkward Widowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03729456066739275695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-21659989654841187542016-07-17T06:43:30.520-04:002016-07-17T06:43:30.520-04:00I associate red polish with women who don't wo...I associate red polish with women who don't work. I know that's unfair and they have better polishes now but old habits are hard to break. In my 20s when I briefly tried to wear polish, it was SO high maintenance I gave up.<br /><br />You're right about the makeup, too! <br /><br />Insomnia is the pits. Hope you don't have anything much to do on Sunday.Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-40898571751831228882016-07-17T03:22:18.045-04:002016-07-17T03:22:18.045-04:00After my time with Dad in the nursing home, I have...After my time with Dad in the nursing home, I have no desire to be a "resident" at one. The aids are assigned up to 15 patients now. That's too many. When I think of how Dad kept me busy, I can't imagine taking care of that many people. My experience is that many of the aids become desensitized after awhile. I know nursing homes are necessary, but I hope that H nor I ever end upBella Rumhttp://bellarum.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-47879932422782748932016-07-16T12:11:00.849-04:002016-07-16T12:11:00.849-04:00I don't mean to paint my S-I-L as totally unpl...I don't mean to paint my S-I-L as totally unpleasant. I've always found her to be very entertaining because she's a bit of an airhead with no filter but I do love her and her quirkiness. Add on top of that she's in the beginning stages of dementia. However she has many kids, their spouses and adult grandchildren living near-by who can step up to the plate. If she didn't, my Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-3062095005329987972016-07-16T11:18:53.505-04:002016-07-16T11:18:53.505-04:00Sounds like your sister-in-law has a lot to learn ...Sounds like your sister-in-law has a lot to learn about living in an institution. She can continue the path she's on and make herself and everyone around her miserable OR she can sweeten up, be pleasant, make an effort to like people, look for good in the place, and see her care improve. I'm betting she stays unpleasant. Law requires a minimum of care but that's all she's going toLindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11586429675286969340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-86218260246690912062016-07-16T09:03:20.694-04:002016-07-16T09:03:20.694-04:00I don't dislike polish on other people who lik...I don't dislike polish on other people who like it (although I don't understand anyone liking black or paying so much for manicures then constantly complaining about not having enough money to pay their household bills). I just don't like wearing bright polish myself and I dread the day when someone puts it on me thinking they are doing a good deed. Now a French manicure, I'm all Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-2441969327137219282016-07-16T08:41:09.379-04:002016-07-16T08:41:09.379-04:00We have several cosmetology schools in town that t...We have several cosmetology schools in town that teach hair, makeup and nails. They take their students to the nursing homes on a regular basis to practice. They are doing a nice thing but it's just sad when people can't talk and they end up with stuff they'd hate.Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-56107836490099465042016-07-16T08:32:14.709-04:002016-07-16T08:32:14.709-04:00One of the websites where I go to debate politics ...One of the websites where I go to debate politics there are always people picking on foreigners for commenting on our politics. I've never understood that! I think it's interesting to hear how the rest of the world views things. <br /><br />I admire the way the Chinese seem to value their aging relatives and take care of them. I think we are doing a better job here in this country than weMisadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-51773266669255590482016-07-16T08:19:02.039-04:002016-07-16T08:19:02.039-04:00I'll bet you could tell stories!
I think I...I'll bet you could tell stories!<br /><br />I think I'm developing a talent for being selfish. :)Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-90066002690320553312016-07-16T08:06:14.325-04:002016-07-16T08:06:14.325-04:00Red nails are the least of it. I'm not fond of...Red nails are the least of it. I'm not fond of screaming red myself, but I'll sure take it over black -- or any of the other "nail art" that I see.<br /><br />With no family at all to help me cope with things in my latter years, it can be a little unnerving to think about growing old. So, in the best tradition of Scarlett, I mostly don't. I'll deal with that tomorrow. :-)shoreacreshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16284698314697628805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-39151373245705513202016-07-16T08:05:44.363-04:002016-07-16T08:05:44.363-04:00When Fred's mother had to go in, she hated it!...When Fred's mother had to go in, she hated it! Cried and wanted to go home. The Aides told us that it takes about 6 weeks and then she'd love it there. And it did and she did. No red nail polish--maybe that is a Michigan thing? Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03399435237919718544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-6713534648546608702016-07-16T05:00:50.147-04:002016-07-16T05:00:50.147-04:00I know I've said I am ready, but I'm not. ...I know I've said I am ready, but I'm not. I worked in a nursing home and I KNOW what goes on there, which is more than people see visiting Grandma. <br /><br />Be selfish, nobody is going to be selfish for you, not really. Do - just as long as you can!Sharonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02743921972328074980noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-73355983450967644822016-07-16T03:10:56.884-04:002016-07-16T03:10:56.884-04:00I don't think you're selfish at all. You&#...I don't think you're selfish at all. You've done more than your share of caring for others. I'm at the stage where I think maintaining my sanity and mental peace is my first priority (can't imagine anyone else caring about it).<br /><br />Interesting you wrote "..*daughters* and sons caring for you.." - you got that right, as it is the daughters normally who will Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com