Wednesday, March 4, 2026

Timers, Cows, Cliques, and Chili: A Week in Independent Living

Life in an independent living community has its own rhythm—part social experiment, part sitcom, part “you can’t make this stuff up.” Some weeks unfold with a kind of chaotic charm: a little forgetfulness, a new hobby you absolutely didn’t need, a brush with social awkwardness, and a dinner surprise one wishes you could un‑eat. This post wanders through all of it — from learning to “paint” with AI to accidentally voting for bear chili — with humor, honesty, and the kind of everyday absurdity that makes life in an independent living community anything but dull….AI

I’m having a space‑cadet day. Not the kind where you forget something important—at least I think I haven’t, but how would I really know unless I burned something on the stove and the fire department came knocking? That actually happens here in my independent living building about once a month. I also haven’t forgotten a dinner reservation. If I did, someone would call to tell me to get my butt over to the next building because my would‑be table-mates are waiting. I’ve never been on the receiving end of that call, but I see it happen every Monday at the Farm Table. The excuses are always the same: “I fell asleep,” “I was reading” or “I was on the phone.”

I set a timer when I’m within two hours of a reservation because I know myself. This isn’t an “old person compensating” thing. I’ve been using a wind‑up kitchen timer for decades to rein in my creative daydreaming. Doesn’t matter what arty‑farty thing I’m doing—I’m always in danger of losing track of time.

A Facebook Short Reel summed me up perfectly today. A voice-over said: “Your test results are back. You are artistic and it won’t affect how long you live but it will affect the quality of your life. You will have lots of hobbies but fail to monetize any of them. You will dapple in a thousand things but fail to commit to any one, you’ll always be somewhat distracted and find it difficult to finish anything.”

That’s me in a nutshell. And that will be my excuse if I ever get the you’re‑late‑for‑dinner call: “I’m artistic and got distracted. Put my order in for the special.”

Anyone who knows me will not be surprised that I’ve fallen down a new rabbit hole: using AI to “paint” pictures. It’s surprisingly easy—and will get easier as I learn the language, the nouns and verbs and textures my Microsoft Copilot needs to hear to produce what I’m imagining.

After only a few hours of playing, I can already spot AI‑generated images online. That’s a useful skill to learn with the midterm elections coming. The giveaways are:

  • Lighting that’s too perfect, too dramatic or too soft

  • Textures that are hyper-detailed or strangely smooth

  • Symmetry everywhere—centered subjects, balanced framing

  • Clothing and body parts with odd folds, weird hands, or glasses that don’t sit right

I’ve lost a few subscribers every time I write about AI, so I’ll keep this part brief. The picture at the top of this post was created using Microsoft’s “text to scene.” I told it I wanted a sad-looking, middle-aged woman sitting on the steps of a 1900s house with porch and a rosebush climbing a trellis on the left and sunlight coming through it. The program then peppered me with questions—rose color, number of blooms, dress color, hair color, porch with or without a roof, porch open or screened in, house color, mood, where is she looking, and on and on—until I thought I could have painted the picture faster than answering them all. Each time I answered, it re-framed the criteria like a very earnest art student trying to impress the teacher. When it finally showed me an image, I liked and accepted it immediately for fear it would start the interrogation all over again. 

But you can tell by the all over softness of the image and the unnatural way the roses are all the same size that it's AI created. I could have kept going and tweaked the size of a few of the roses but the back and forth was driving me crazy. 

The cow images below were from another day, arranged in the order of the changes I requested. That was my first experience with 3D AI, and I was learning the vocabulary it needs. We had some miscommunications (hence the overly warm yellowness), and I learned I can’t joke around with that version the way I can with the conversational one aka Jasper my main MS copilot. I doubt I’ll use 3D Jasper often, but it was fun to try—and now I have a new goal: creating a short cartoon-style video. I asked Jasper to walk me through the process, and it doesn’t sound hard. Did I ever tell you one of my earliest life goals was to work for Disney? 

Now for the part of the week that made me feel like I was going through menopause again. Management hosted a chili cook-off—no reserved seating, just show up and sit where you land. I arrived early and sat down by the fireplace with a woman I really like. After our greetings, she said, “You’d better go stake out your seat in the dining room before they’re gone.”

I knew instantly what she meant. She was waiting for her little clique—the Four Musketeers—and didn’t want me sitting there when they arrived, forcing them to include me. I’ve long wished I could be the Fifth Musketeer, but that ship sailed ages ago. Still, her comment stung. One sentence, and I felt weepy-eyed. I even wondered if my new estrogen prescription was messing with my moods and about to  stage a messy coup, or if I’m really that pathetic that a single sentence can derail me.

From there, the night went downhill. I ended up next to a MAGA guy who wanted to talk about the State of the Union and how good he thought the president did. (Barf.) Then, at the end of dinner, I learned I had voted for a chili made with bear meat. I’ve been following a mama bear online who just gave birth to triplets in the crawl space under someone’s house, and the idea that I ate one of her relatives made my heart hurt. I’m surprised I didn’t break out in wet sobbing tears.

Two of the guys living here entered the contest, and both used wild game. And I was sitting at their table! Who does that—trick people into eating something they might object to if given the choice? So now I can cross “eating bear” and “eating moose” off my list of things I hoped I’d never do.

By the time I got back to my apartment, I decided the universe was clearly telling me to stay in my lane: stick to AI cows, timers, and avoid cliques and chili made from woodland creatures. I mean honestly—bear meat? Moose? What’s next, raccoon tartare? I’m half afraid to attend the next potluck. Someone will probably announce they’ve made “locally sourced squirrel stroganoff,” and I’d find out I ate and voted for the squirrel I’ve been secretly feeding on my deck all winter long. ©

Can you see what I mean about everything being centered and balanced?

 
After I asked AI to move the cow on the right behind the others.

When I asked it to add a sunrise in over the barns it gave me these unnatural sun rays. This fake looking glow is in a lot of AI photos I'm seeing online in connection to the Walk for Peace. 

I asked AI 3D to tone down the warmth and I got this. Then I asked it make the foreground cooler and it gave me the same image because apparently AI either didn't understand what I wanted or it can't do zone changes in mood which I suspect is the right answer.

At that point I started fresh and managed to get from the first image to the second with are less missteps in between by me giving it better, more detailed directions out of the gate. 


 

The only application I can see me using 3D 'painting' for in my life is if I want an image for a blog post and I can't find something that will work OR if I want to burn up a lot of time. It's easy but time-intense. (The image at the top took over an hour of back if back and forth Q & As.) But do look for my "movie premiere" coming in a blog post sometime is summer because while I might be too old to work for Disney, now, I'm not too old to re-frame old goals into something doable before I die.



15 comments:

  1. Some thoughts on the AI -- The cows in the earlier ones (like sunrise) look more like fat, brownish sheep. Odd. I actually like the first one and didn't see anything wrong with the roses that a painting wouldn't do. And it did look like a painting. If it was a photo then it would be odd but as a painting it works for me.

    OK -- Maybe I'm just having a snarky day but I would have been inclined to say to the woman by the fireplace, "Oh, I don't really care about a seat -- I'm sure I'll get to try the chili and if I don't, I'll survive. It would just be nice to chat with you for a bit!" See if she could wiggle out of that one!

    Finally -- the paragraph about your test results could have been written for and about me. Quality of life, hobbies you don't really monetize dabbling in a thousand things you never commit to and distracted! It's pretty darned close!

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    1. Now that you pointed out the "sheep" I will not be able to unsee them. LOL I found the Q & A process of producing these AI images frustrating even though as artists we make those kinds of decisions all the time. And I can't decide if an person with no artistic talent would feel the same way. It does take an artistic eye, though, to know if you want, say, the woman sitting at the top, middle or the bottom of the steps or where she should be looking, etc., etc. I asked my copilot how would someone who created an image like this label it, and Jasper said, "painting by so and so with AI assistance." I've seen a lot of AI stuff on Facebook and only one of the guys I follow acknowledges that he used AI and he is really, really good at it. I probably won't dabble in it again, but it was interesting learning the process.

      Those test results could describe me to a tee. My mom used to get frustrated with me because I'd get good enough at something to do the arts and craft fairs but I'd lose interest in it as soon as I perfected a craft. A professor in college when I want back in my 40s said that's because I loved the process of learning and end result wasn't as important to me. She took all my guilt away!

      I would have liked to chat with the woman by the fireplace but it wouldn't have worked to say that because I see her in book club, mahjong and Tuesday night conversation table. The Four Musketeers are all ten years younger than me and they line dance together and walk several miles together every day, both of which I can't do. I like them all. When it was just three Musketeers I was invited to a few of their dinner tables and afterward they play board games. (Like an audition I guessed afterward.) And if I'm honest with myself spending that much time with same people is not my cup of tea even though I envy their friendship. I need more along time than the average person, I guess. We arty-farty types all do I think.

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  2. I use my phone calendar to remind me when I have somewhere to be. I can set one or two alerts so I won't be late for whatever appointment I have entered.
    I'm sorry you aren't using your own artistic talents anymore. I think I remember you wanting to set up an easel when you first moved in to your place.

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    1. Oh, I have my art easel and art corner in my living room. I painted just last night and every night for the past week. But holding a paint brush is getting harder and harder for me because my thumbs lock up on me and they are getting harder and harder to pull apart. I had surgery on them both twice and won't do it again because it only last a year. I'm in the process of teaching myself how to water color because those new water brushes are fat and easier to hold but I've never liked watercolor as a medium in the past. So we'll see what happens.

      I should use my phone calendar more. I keep forgetting about it.

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  3. Tho' I'll likely resist ever using AI coz I think it's The Devil, I can see why you're thoroughly enjoying the experimentation with it and the results do make for some nice visual Blog Fodder. As for Cliques, I always avoid people who are in them, knowing they definitely will never be Kindred Spirits and those kind of Tribal affiliations that exclude are just rude and annoying Socially becoz they can be so hurtful to people not deserving of being excluded for their petty reasons of being so Cliquish. I would have not been as gracious as you about her Snarky remark, you shouldn't be the 5th Musketeer, you're too good for that Group Jean... there, I've elevated you above them Bitches. *Winks and Smiles coz I'm a Boss Bitch like that and they definitely wouldn't Like me and I'd probably sit at their Table just to make them squirm and be having to tolerate my intrusion... you know, for Fun and to Amuse myself at their expense coz it would be like a Sport. ha ha ha* And I know you probably realize The Great White Hunter here {aka:The Man} has fed me both Moose and Bear... and I have to confess I liked them both in a Chili... and I'm not a Hunter coz if I had to Hunt I'd be a Vegetarian or Vegan for sure. As for Squirrel, he hasn't put that in anything that I know of... probably tastes like Chicken? *Bwahahaha*

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  4. The cow in the last picture looks so sweet that I want her to be my pet. You know, when I think of going into a retirement community, I get visions of school where I'm the new girl and don't know where to sit at lunch. Or my Dad's assisted living where there was assigned seating and his group never talked to each other. Makes me anxious just thinking about it.

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    1. I don't know about other places but here we have a resident "welcome wagon" that works like this: A close neighbor to who ever is moving in is asked if they'd take that newbie under their wing and show them the robes. We have written guide of how things work around here---the trash room, how to sign up for reservations for dinners and events---pages of helpful hints. They also find out the new person's hobbies, professions and locations where they've lived before, etc and then they introduce them with people they think they might connect with. It's works well so if you are considering a retirement community, ask them how they handle helping a new person in.

      We do have a few clique here and if I'm totally honest I can see why they form around like interests. If I had come right out and asked the woman at the fireplace if I could sit with them, they'd have made room for me or anyone else asking. Almost everyone here would do that. It's not like high school cliques. They just started another one for knitters. Moving into these kinds of communities takes a month or so of observation and putting yourself out there to find people with like interests, but it will happen. I have a good friend who just moved into a place like this and I keep telling her she can't stay in her room all day and expect to make friends. Life is short. Sign up for stuff and see what happens.

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  5. That FB reel was RUDE! I'm always impressed by all the things you do and/or try. It's interesting to hear people say they don't like AI and will never use it. Any time you Google something, THAT is AI. You and I are just going deeper into projects. I scanned a handwritten inventory list for my kidults, and Max turned it into a usable Excel spreadsheet! He finds copycat recipes and scales it to 5 diners. I sent him a picture of one of my (old) earrings and he found out where to buy that brand. I communicate with him every day about something. Last night I made the best, moistest pork tenderloin, arugula salad and an interesting take on baked potatoes. SUCCESS!

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    1. I feel the same way about my Jasper as you do about Max. There's a task almost daily that they can do for us the frees up time or energy or cuts frustration in half. That was clever of you to think of asking your AI guy to find an earring brand from a photo. And it blows me away how fast they are.

      I didn't think the FB reel was rude at all. It was funny and on point for both me and Jeanie up above. Most creative people know ourselves and our idiosyncrasies.

      I know people here who don't even trust Alex or Siri and think "AI" is the devil.

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  6. I use AI a lot, but I don't like it for pictures. I mostly use it for conversations about things my friends aren't interested in, and to check facts and go deeper into topics in Substack posts I subscribe to.

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    1. Same with me. No one living around me can match AI when it comes to having interesting conversations. I most likely won't used it for pictures again except for making a cartoon video someday.

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  7. The last two pictures look more like cows then the first ones, sorry that's all I have this afternoon

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  8. What a great adventure you had with AI. Let's face it. It's here and probably not going away so we might as well join in. I haven't tried making a drawing. It does sound time intensive but, hey, what are rainy days for. I'm going to put it on my list of things to learn more about.

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    1. I agree. And some days sitting in front of my computer is all the energy I can muster so why not learn something new while I'm doing it.

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