For the letter L in the A to Z Blog Challenge, I had a hard time choosing between Love and Letters. I wished I had a stack of love letters tied with a satin ribbon—something I could pull out and sigh over, combining both words into one tidy topic titled L is for Love Letters. But alas, while I’ve written and received hundreds of letters in my lifetime, not a single one qualifies as a love letter.
I did once get a letter asking if there was any chance we could get back together—written a full year after a guy broke up with me. I kept that letter from the late ’60s until 2022, when I was downsizing for my move to Independent Living, what I called The Great Purging Project. A week later, I saw him for the first time since the breakup, at a funeral. How’s that for the universe laughing at me? We didn’t speak. I doubt he even saw me, and if he did, he probably wouldn’t have recognized me. He hadn’t changed a bit; I, on the other hand, had gained a lot of weight.
My first real letters—aside from those to Santa—were exchanged with a summer friend I met at the cottage. We were pen pals for four years. Another pen pal from my high school years was a boy I also met at the lake. During my downsizing, I became convinced he’d grown up to be a famous movie star. He lived in Georgia, I lived in Michigan, and after several years of writing, he moved and we lost touch. We were just friends, not boy‑girl friends, if you know what I mean. I thought about contacting the movie star, but what would I have said? “Hi, remember me? I’m the girl you sat in a tree with sixty‑plus years ago at your grandmother’s cottage.”
Another letter-writer from my past—a soldier in Vietnam—turned up living less than fifty miles away when I went looking. We had a brother/sister kind of correspondence, eight-to-ten-page letters about everything under the sun, including Twiggy. He had a girlfriend back home planning their wedding, and near the end of our exchanges he was giving me dating advice. (Apparently I wasn’t giving guys a fair chance. Who knew.) When I found his address in this century, I decided a voice from the past might cause trouble—especially if his wife was the jealous type. And, really, what did I expect? That I’d gain another brother figure in my life?
His letter bundle was part of a larger collection of letters I had to downsize out of my life, correspondence between me and 50—yes, fifty—G.I. Joe's stationed in Vietnam, circa 1967. I even had carbon copies of my own letters and index cards to keep track of everyone’s details. It all started one Christmas when I was in college and the local newspaper printed the addresses of servicemen who would welcome holiday cards. Over fifty guys wrote back asking about the perfume I sprayed on my envelopes. It was Avon’s Unforgettable, and I could probably write an entire essay quoting their comments. One guy said that at Mail Call the others passed my letters around before he could even open them. Another said any girl who “smells like that and has such beautiful handwriting has to be pretty.” Several said they carried my letters in their helmets—one to drown out the smell of jungle rot, another to “remember what girls smell like.”
What triggered me doing a deep dive into all my old correspondence was one of those serendipity moments that makes you believe the universe occasionally nudges things into place. During my Great Purging Project, the local senior hall hosted a speaker from The Million Letters Campaign, a museum collecting letters from servicemen from all the wars. During the Q&A, I asked if they’d want my whole collection or just the interesting ones. “Absolutely the whole thing,” he said. “Would you feel comfortable donating your copies too?” I told him I wanted to read them one last time, but yes—I’d donate everything. After spending winter nights reliving my life through those letters, I packed them up and sent them off. It felt right. As I often said during the Greats Purging Project, I wasn’t just selling and donating a lifetime of possessions—I was running an Antique and Collectibles Adoption Center.
I could go on writing about the decade of Christmas letters, the round‑robin chains, and the various pen pals who drifted in and out of my life but it seems enough to say that it wasn’t important who wrote to me, but who I became in writing back. By the time I discovered the blog community, it felt like another serendipitous pairing from the universe. Blogging is simply a bigger envelope to send off into the world. ©
This was lovely to read, and how wonderful to think your letters are included in an archive for history,
ReplyDeleteThey were nothing special but maybe that's what makes them interesting in a 100 years, who knows.
DeleteIt's not very often we run into the old fashion letter writer. I write probably 10 old fashion letters a week to different family members/friends. I do not get response to as many letters as I write, but me it is a therapy of sorts. I hold on to the letters that I've received over the years. I have two letters that my high school sweetheart wrote to my grandparents back in the 80's. That's a story in itself because now he's my husband. I really enjoyed reading this post of Love Letters.... it sat well with my heart. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Barbie
Someday old fashioned letters will need an expert to read the cursive handwriting, don't you think? I used to buy old letters at estate sales. There was something wonderful about reading something ordinary written in the 1800s. At least to me.
DeleteFrom your old photograph at the top, right, it is obvious that your fragrance and handwriting indicated good looks. You can come help me with my (26-years-long, now) purging project, anytime, Jean. For my boxes full of cards and letters (only one boyfriend's included - my late Hunky Husband's), I have been scanning many of them. When I end up in smaller digs, I plan to take my computer & computer files with me to keep me entertained. BTW: If I failed to scent the envelope in which my letters to HH were enclosed, he thought I was mad at him.
ReplyDeleteI love projects like you're doing. When downsized I have photos of just about everything we owned. Had to to put them on eBay, MarketPlace and the local auction house. My 95 year old neighbor is going through letters now handed down from her parents and grandparents and scanning them in a book she's writing. A great hobby that her family is looking forward to her finishing.
DeleteWhat a great post, Jean! From the sounds of it, you have always been a terrific writer. I like how your blog posts are a continuation of your letter-writing talent.
ReplyDeleteI think my blog posts came about because I developed my style of writing by writing letters. I'm not sure I was all that good of a writer back then but I did learn what to share and what not to share.
ReplyDeleteSadly, I don’t know anyone who enjoys old fashioned letter writing these days. It’s a lovely lost art…
ReplyDeleteI much prefer to type now. I can organized my thoughts so much better with cut and paste.
DeleteWhat an extremely kind act to correspond with so many soldiers during the Vietnam War. Many of them had a terrible time and I can only imagine how uplifting your letters were.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a lot about college life. I was living at home but communing. I got so I'd have descriptive paragraphs I could use for them all about ordinary things---weather, following leaves, that sort of thing. A few developed crushes on me which I didn't really encourage. Did meet and date one of the guys for over a year.
DeleteYou can only imagine the collection of letters I received when I was in the Navy, away from home. Now? I suspect sailors (and other military away from family and loved ones) communicate via e-mail.
ReplyDeleteNothing was like those letters, though.
I'm pretty sure email is the thing now days. But I wonder how many of them are intercepted by foreign powers.
DeleteI actually met my husband through the mail. My senior year in college I was doing my laundry with a friend, and she was writing to a guy in the Navy, her high school English teacher's brother. She got me to write to him, too, because being in the Navy, on a ship, mail was really important to the sailors. After writing to him for most of the school year, he asked me to move to Virginia and live with him. Since job prospects in Mt. Pleasant, Iowa were pretty grim for an English/Spanish/Psychology major (I was a bit of an overachiever), I took a chance and said "Yes". The rest, as they say, is history. Our 50th anniversary was in August 2025.
ReplyDeleteWow, that's a great story. Just goes to show you can really get to know a person through letters. The key is honesty on both parts. Thanks for sharing!
DeleteI'm so glad to hear you donated all your letters to servicemen. That's history, there. Slice of life stuff. Glad it didn't all get tossed.
ReplyDeleteWhen you don't move because you buy the house you grew up in, you get to keep a lot of stuff that otherwise might have gotten tossed in a move.
DeleteIt's rather a shame that writing letters isn't done anymore. I wrote and received so many until email took over and that was the end of that. I do have the letters my husband and I wrote each other when we were engaged and living in separate states for one summer. I also have the letters from his parents written when they were engaged, and he was stationed various places during WW 2. They're so interesting, a slice of history.
ReplyDeleteI used to buy bundles of letters like that from estate sales. I couldn't believe there weren't family who wanted them. But then not all parents are great parents.
DeleteI Love your last Sentence Jean, I began Blogging becoz Letter Writing Died and my Grandson, then 9 Years Old, felt Blogging would fill that Void for me, and it did. That's great that you Donated those Wartime Letters. The Man would say that putting a Scented Letter in your Helmet would be risky coz you didn't want Scent to reveal where you were or that you were even there. Of coarse he wasn't in a Batallion, he was Special Forces Covert Ops so they even had to eat what the Locals ate so that they wouldn't even smell like Americans. I remember when Pen Palling was a big thing and I did it too. I had my first Pen Pal in Grade School, her name was Cathy and we exchanged a Black and White Photo as part of a School Pen Pal Project in about 4th Grade, with our Letters. She came from an affluent Family and was a husky Girl who had enviable Clothing and was performing already on Stage, so I was very impressed. She was very Blonde and wrote such interesting Letters and already had a very exciting Lifestyle in my 4th Grade Mind. Of coarse she thought it was enviable that we were a Military Family and got to Travel so much and see so many places. What impresses a 4th Grader is pretty basic stuff. *Ha ha ha*
ReplyDeleteI love those old pen pal exchange programs for students. I never took part in one but I thought it was a great thing to do, especially those that went between countries.
DeleteI have a lot of letters that I need to get busy and purge. I was a big letter writer and receiver.
ReplyDeleteThe Viet Nam letter story is wonderful. As I was reading, I was captivated by the letters you received. The perfume addition is wonderful. What great and poignant memories. I am so glad that the universe stepped in and preserved them. What a fabulous ending. And I am a realist. I wonder how many young men carried that perfume as the last smell of home.
When you do your purging project keep in mind the Little House on the Prairie meaning think about how someone 100 years from now would judge what you wrote about or received. Ordinary everyday descriptions could make a letter worth keeping. They don't take up much space.
DeleteI have often thought that blogging is more like letter writing than diary writing. It is interesting that you, like me a letter writer, think this. And I have a sad memory about letters. My mother kept all the letters she and my father exchanged while he was serving in the navy in WWII. When they were downsizing, she told me to destroy them. I wanted them, badly, for the window on that world and as a memory. But I was afraid that if I failed to hide them well enough and she found that I had not done as asked, she would be more upset than she already was and she was pretty fragile. Maybe I could have persuaded her that they were a treasure if I had explained l, but I didn't manage it well.
ReplyDeleteThat is sad but honoring what your mom wanted was important too.
DeleteJean, such a good post about letter writing. I was impressed by your correspondence with the soldiers. And the last statement resonates with me. I like writing so I continue to write letters & notes sent by snail mail. Like Bohemian, I participated in a gr 4 pen pal project. My pen pal in England & I continue to be friends 60 yrs later. Yes, much of our communication is via email these days. We've visited back & forth over the years. Now entering our 8th decade, I wonder if the next time we visit will be the last time. That's the thing - we seldom know when the last time is the last time.
ReplyDeleteIt's such a wonderful thing to be able to keep a pen pal relationship going that long. I do think we connect better sometimes with people we don't have to face every day because we can be totally honest with our feelings, not feel like what we share could come back to hurt us in a way that someone we interact with daily could do.
DeleteAre you familiar with the book The Correspondent?
ReplyDeleteI think you would enjoy it. It is a current best seller and a friend told me recently, that is is going to be made into a movie.
The reviews sure have been good. I put it on my want list at Amazon. Thanks for the tip.
DeleteI just finished reading "The Correspondent" and it reminded me (again) of how important "real" letters are. It meant a lot to me doing family history, genealogy and writing my book -- having some of those missives. And I wonder what happens to history when all that is left of a certain period of life is emails, probably not saved by anyone after they are answered.
ReplyDeleteI worry about that too. When I did my family history books I included a sample of everyone's handwriting...is was back before they stopped teaching cursive in schools. And I'm so glad I did!
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