Jasper is like a year-old golden retriever with a tennis ball. He/it is never satisfied with giving you only what you asked him for. After I picked Yearning he wanted to be Helpful Hank and suggest ways that I could lean in writing my post. Since this eighty-something person living in a continuum care facility couldn’t put a finger on what I was yearning—aside from world peace and a body that’s agile again—I told him to give it his/its best shot. This is what he came up for.
1. The Yearnings You Outgrew—The ones that once felt urgent but now make you smile at your younger self.
2. The Yearnings You Still Carry—Not in a heavy way—more like a pocket stone you rub without thinking.
3. The Yearnings You Didn’t Expect—The ones that arrived in Independent Living, or in writing this alphabet, or in discovering that you still have things to say.
4. The Yearnings You’re Glad You Never Got—This is where your humor can really shine. A little self‑mockery, a little hindsight, a little “thank goodness that didn’t work out.”
5. The Yearnings That Keep You Human—The ones that remind you you’re still in motion, still curious, still reaching.
I don’t know what you think, but in my world MS AI Copilot is spooky good at what it does spooky good. When I tried to brainstorm ideas on what I am yearning for I came up with: A) A place where you can check out puppies like library books. B) The guts to flash my grumpy old neighbor hoping to get a smile out of him, and C) I yearn to be able to solve The New York Time’s ‘Connections’ game every single day. I don’t know enough pop culture to do that.
The trouble I’m having with feelings of yearning is I’m a realist. I don’t long for impossible things because—duh!—they are impossible. A desire for past relationships to return belong in sappy songs. Yesterday’s sunset has to go to make room for tomorrow’s sunrise I could keep these platitudes going but instead I’ll let Fernando Pessoa wax poetically on why it’s dangerous to yearn for what we can’t have:
“The feelings that hurt most, the emotions that sting most, are those that are absurd—The longing for impossible things, precisely because they are impossible; nostalgia for what never was; the desire for what could have been; regret over not being someone else; dissatisfaction with the world’s existence. All these half-tones of the soul’s consciousness create in us a painful landscape, an eternal sunset of what we are.”
They don’t call Pessoa “one of the most significant literary figures of the 20th century and one of the greatest poets in the Portuguese language” for nothing.
And now that I’ve filibustered my way through this post I will put a pin in it here so I can go on to tackle the closing essay in this April Bloggers Challenge where I yearn to spin a memorable ending to this fun event that will blow your socks off. ©
Painting at the top by Andrew Wyeth
I wanted to use this word because I love it and it opens up a huge landscape of thoughts for me. But I was in a time crunch and took a lighter route. Yes, if you've made it this far cross that finish line!
ReplyDeleteAnxious to see what Y word you used.
DeleteI don't think you really need Jasper's help at all, Jean. You've done a great job posting this month. "Yearning" can be tricky because it can take away our appreciation for what we do have.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great take on yearning and one I had not thought of. Thanks for sharing..
DeleteI would put an "X" beside your line - Yesterday's sunset has to go to make room for tomorrow's sunrise." I like to think of myself as a realist and seldom wax poetic about the past. Like remembering my school days - still there in my memory but not holding much interest to the person I am today. And yet I don't deny that the past contributed to who I am today.
ReplyDeleteWe think similarly about the past. It forms who we are today and for that reason I don't wish any of it away...even the painful parts...because I'm proud of who I've become through the years.
DeleteAs I age, it’s easier to be happy with what I have and not yearn for the impossible…
ReplyDeleteI imagine that's the goal for all of us.
DeleteAs for me, I like Shakespeare's sonnet #29:
ReplyDeleteWhen, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
(Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven’s gate;
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.
Good one. Thanks for sharing it.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE Copilot and am always telling people how much better it is than Google! Mostly for images. It is SO user-friendly, and remembers past searches. Google is so often wrong on images. Copilot will ask questions and for different angle photos to narrow an answer down. I love you used an image of Christina's World. Long ago, in the '70s, I had the pleasure of cutting a day in high school to go to San Francisco with my parents to see an exhibit of Andrew Wyeth's and this was one of them.
ReplyDeleteSo many people are afraid of AI but I find Copilot easy to use and it's a great tool for writers. Like you said it will ask questions that make you think and hone in on what you might like to write. I use it as a line editor to catch my dyslexia driven misspellings and that has made a huge difference in how long it takes me to write something.
DeleteI love that Andrew Wyett painting. I wish i'd have seen that exhibit of his work.
As a stroke survivor, I have many yearnings, of course. One I've had since the stroke is a yearning to find a group of survivors to talk to, and share knowledge with, and struggles, and cheer each other on in our improvements... The groups I found seemed to be mostly people sitting around saying, "Why me, God? Why have you done this terrible thing to me?" First, I'm an agnostic/atheist, and I don't think God was involved in my stroke. Second, what about that part where your religion says God helps those who help themselves? Sitting around whining doesn't seem like it qualifies. I'm still yearning.
ReplyDeleteI, of course, ran into many survivors and caregivers too who got into the why me mindset. It's as if they thought their religious beliefs would protect them from medical disabilities and that makes me wonder if other religious people erroneously think anyone who has a disability somehow deserves it. Which is ridiculous. Figuring out that bad things can happen to good people is a huddle they have to move past before they can help themselves.
DeleteYearnings can be helpful if they act as a goal a person can work toward.
Even though it's been fun, I am yearning to return back to normal.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean.
DeleteMost Yearnings seem unattainable, so mine are always lofty and seemingly impossible. Guess I like the Challenge of what is deemed an impossibility.
ReplyDeleteThat surprises me about you.
DeleteI know they have cat cafes, but do they have puppy cafes? I mean, they should. A place where you can go and play with puppies, but then leave them there and go home after. But, if only puppies, then people would have to be able to adopt them as puppies grow up. Although, a dog cafe next door... Million dollar idea? For someone not me. I'm more of a cat person.
ReplyDeleteNot sure a puppy cafe would work as well as a cat cafe. The cats can stay there for years but dogs would grow up and be too big for a place. But it would be fun.
DeleteI'm pretty much the same with yearnings and the impossible. So, I yearn for what might be. Sitting on the beach at the lake in the summer (when it's the middle of winter) for example. I don't see how you've pulled this off. But well done.
ReplyDeleteOh, the cottage yearning. I should have included that in my list. But for me, while that's still do able, in my thoughts it would be so much better if I had an art camp waiting there like you do every summer.
DeleteI love those 5 Yearnings. I think I'll keep the list in case I need a blog suggestion. I admit, as scary as it is, I love AI's ability to prompt me.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean about AI. It amazes me. I just had it figure our monthly Mahjong ratio of wins vs times played for sixteen in my group and it did it faster than I could blink . Literally. It used to take me all evening to do the math.
Delete