tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post3655622881848022020..comments2024-03-29T08:54:05.713-04:00Comments on The Misadventures of Widowhood: The 'Widow' Who Wasn’t and the KnitterMisadventures of Widowhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-53732721005665650492015-02-12T17:56:33.167-05:002015-02-12T17:56:33.167-05:00It is a good skill to have! I was in retail for so...It is a good skill to have! I was in retail for so many years---selling weddings---where saying no to anything just wasn't done. We could do anything if someone was willing to pay for. Now, I have to practice saying no even before I'm asked. LOL Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-14193530442138645932015-02-12T17:08:43.655-05:002015-02-12T17:08:43.655-05:00I've been practicing saying no lately -- no wi...I've been practicing saying no lately -- no with no excuses, or white lies, or sometimes with no explanation at all. There is a woman I know, a bit younger than I, who is masterful at this. She is friendly and outgoing and people like her a lot, but boy can she say no, with a sweet smile and not apologies! I think it's a good skill to have and when I pull it off I feel all grown up anddonnajurenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10799559087972759233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-7529368532821129352015-02-12T09:26:25.670-05:002015-02-12T09:26:25.670-05:00That's funny about your mother-in-law. I'l...That's funny about your mother-in-law. I'll bet she wasn't the only one who does/did that! My mother could never give out a recipe because she never used them. She cooked by taste. You'd have to sit next to her and write things down as she put ingredients in.Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-40763566635021294962015-02-12T06:12:33.651-05:002015-02-12T06:12:33.651-05:00Can you imagine the non-widow lady telling her sto...Can you imagine the non-widow lady telling her story at a support group of widows? Something tells me she would not get much consolation. <br /><br />Don't feel bad about not sharing your pattern. My MIL lived in a small town. Church was a great part of her social life. The "church ladies" made several of those church cookbooks. My MIL published several of her recipes over the Bella Rumhttp://culdesacchronicles.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-40120193910451893212015-02-11T08:48:50.279-05:002015-02-11T08:48:50.279-05:00Thanks for weighing in on the "duh" situ...Thanks for weighing in on the "duh" situation! I remember reading another blog a year or two ago and that woman had found evidence that her husband was having an affair when he died. She had no idea it was going on! I keep thinking what it would have been like for her to run into "the other woman" at a grief support meeting. More recently, I read a blog where a woman had come Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-84612919428531546702015-02-11T08:31:24.111-05:002015-02-11T08:31:24.111-05:00Over Christmas I did that for the first time in my...Over Christmas I did that for the first time in my life---said no without giving a follow up excuse. It really did feel good. No one can talk you out of that. I volunteer during the good weather months but I don't want to during the winter when there is no way ahead of time to know what the roads will be like. So I just said, "No, I can't do it." Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-34073634734393163022015-02-10T23:46:40.273-05:002015-02-10T23:46:40.273-05:00I don't think it makes you selfish at all! Yo...I don't think it makes you selfish at all! You were generous enough to tell her the stitch ... she can go to a knit shop to get directions. When the next person asks ... you can say it's a proprietary project that you created for just your family. <br /><br />DUH is double right! Good god!The Awkward Widowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03729456066739275695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-40347140732724402482015-02-10T22:49:07.865-05:002015-02-10T22:49:07.865-05:00After many years of working in a correctional faci...After many years of working in a correctional facility, I got really good at saying no. Can you do this for me? No. Can I do this? No. No excuses attached. Just no. It feels good! I don't want to share that pattern! Anyway, I don't see it that you are being selfish. You can see what she might be doing with it, taking away the uniqueness of what you are doing. Okay, maybe it is Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-72338216758021477242015-02-10T22:38:35.408-05:002015-02-10T22:38:35.408-05:00Thanks for chiming in, Anne!
At first I assumed ...Thanks for chiming in, Anne! <br /><br />At first I assumed that she would be able to do that herself, since I did tell her the name of the stitch. She's my age so I doubt she's a newbie with knitting needles....but she might be with a computer. Maybe THAT'S why she wanted a printed copy. Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-4857325819945136512015-02-10T22:21:14.978-05:002015-02-10T22:21:14.978-05:00Absolutely!! and remember, we are (supposed) past ...Absolutely!! and remember, we are (supposed) past the place where we are trying to please everyone. :-)Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03399435237919718544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-40939078059406575662015-02-10T21:13:43.920-05:002015-02-10T21:13:43.920-05:00I'll try again - comment disappear.
I've b...I'll try again - comment disappear.<br />I've been welcomed into 2 knitting groups where the knitters have helped me with new stitches and techniques. One even found a pattern that I had been looking for and knitted a sample to show me the repeat. I understand that you don't want to share the actual pattern but how about downloading the basket weave stitch from a web site like new AnneMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07271774532939230762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-26326273399505386952015-02-10T19:46:37.457-05:002015-02-10T19:46:37.457-05:00Cop Car, thanks for the sharing that! This is a g...Cop Car, thanks for the sharing that! This is a good example of how the truth can set you free. Why is it so hard to see that! Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-22097102239106022502015-02-10T19:38:41.108-05:002015-02-10T19:38:41.108-05:00Another way to go, without even a white lie, is to...Another way to go, without even a white lie, is to say, "I'm not comfortable sharing that pattern." You could add (only if you wished to do so) "I think of it as mine."<br /><br />Many of us have something that is "our thing". Even my mother who was as generous as they come would not share certain of her recipes. <br /><br />Good luck, however you decide to Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-36660949845910279602015-02-10T19:03:27.275-05:002015-02-10T19:03:27.275-05:00That doesn't surprise me. Churches are always ...That doesn't surprise me. Churches are always looking for donations of goods and services. We got requests for free snow plowing all the time at churches which isn't that smart because of insurance liability and slips and falls on property where you're not under contract. When I worked in the floral industry we got requests for free altar flowers as well. Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-40581430150091097342015-02-10T18:58:40.058-05:002015-02-10T18:58:40.058-05:00A car-seat blanket is smaller than a regular baby ...A car-seat blanket is smaller than a regular baby blanket and they have holes in them to pass the seat beat through so they don't slide off. Great for strollers, too. I like making them because they don't take very long compared to regular blankets. You know, now that you mention, my pattern dilemma is exactly like a recipe request! Thanks for that comparison. Lots of people say 'noMisadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-37114165518332522872015-02-10T18:26:19.734-05:002015-02-10T18:26:19.734-05:00I'm with you on this one. A church woman once...I'm with you on this one. A church woman once requested I draw the bulletin cover for free, and I got the bee in my bonnet. It felt exploitive, like someone putting a slug in my little vending machine, turning the knob and running off with a free drawing. (I made drawings for a living, a very good living). So it was a like someone at a party asking a doctor for free medical advice. This GowitheFlohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01842273685414939160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-49055880353850715442015-02-10T17:19:22.362-05:002015-02-10T17:19:22.362-05:00Glad I read your whole blog, because my first inst...Glad I read your whole blog, because my first instinct on seeing the blanket, was to ask you for the pattern! LOL I don't even know what a car seat blanket it. I don't really need the pattern--I am spending the rest of my life cross stitching baby quilts for my, as yet, un-conceived great grandbabies. I like the idea of telling her it was your grandma's pattern and is a family Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03399435237919718544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-63616061270761852602015-02-10T16:27:58.120-05:002015-02-10T16:27:58.120-05:00Oh, I like that, Dean!---a white lie is something ...Oh, I like that, Dean!---a white lie is something I could pull off. If I was in a humorous mood I could probably pull off a comical version of 'brutal', too. Thanks! Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-32332478157465678932015-02-10T16:17:10.583-05:002015-02-10T16:17:10.583-05:00Keep your pattern, you could tell her a white lie ...Keep your pattern, you could tell her a white lie of, it came down my family line and will stay there. Or you could be brutal - It's mine, you understand? Mine! All mine! Get back in there! Down, down, down! Go, go, go! Mine, mine, mine!oc2deanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08250175616870469881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-85623723723959655792015-02-10T12:54:28.360-05:002015-02-10T12:54:28.360-05:00Triple duh---I love that! I keep wondering what s...Triple duh---I love that! I keep wondering what she would have done if the man's wife had been at the same grief support meeting. <br /><br />I read another blog a while ago about a woman who had found evidence that her recently deceased husband had been having an affair. Talk about covering the whole array of emotions! I can't imagine going through that kind of pain.Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-60242942452148909062015-02-10T12:36:38.546-05:002015-02-10T12:36:38.546-05:00You shouldn't do anything you don't want t...You shouldn't do anything you don't want to do. I wouldn't call that selfish. It's her monkey and her circus. You aren't obliged to join in her issues. I'm just saying.<br /><br />As for the other woman? Triple duh.<br /><br />Have a fabulous day. ☺Sandeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06785788498697004273noreply@blogger.com