tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post7400189052108288701..comments2024-03-27T22:13:53.704-04:00Comments on The Misadventures of Widowhood: My Red Hat Society Dilemma Misadventures of Widowhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-57176762083387966802022-11-02T23:42:38.857-04:002022-11-02T23:42:38.857-04:00I am truly sorry that you have been made to feel u...I am truly sorry that you have been made to feel unexcepted because you didn't believe as they did. Many Christians don't really know how they come across. They they mean well they just don't know how to share Yeshua in the way He needs to be shared.<br />I am a Christian, I believe that Jesus is truly the Son of the living God. I stand on faith in Him and I believe the Holy Bible is Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-73530532685019615762018-03-31T07:31:39.060-04:002018-03-31T07:31:39.060-04:00Thank you. If I stay in it won't be out of obl...Thank you. If I stay in it won't be out of obligation so much as hedging my bets to holding on to human contact.Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-36455533833854033112018-03-30T20:58:18.413-04:002018-03-30T20:58:18.413-04:00Sometimes things (activities, groups, friendships)...Sometimes things (activities, groups, friendships) that are a good fit for us at one point in our lives are no longer a good fit at a later point because we or they (or both) have changed. I think it's okay to let go when that happens. I also agree with an earlier comment that staying in the Red Hat Society primarily out of a sense of obligation seems to go against the philosophy of the Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-87789938152566454752018-03-29T09:11:50.511-04:002018-03-29T09:11:50.511-04:00Oh, so true. Sometimes the fastest posts prompt th...Oh, so true. Sometimes the fastest posts prompt the most reaction and we never know why! Well, I'm delighted to have connected. It seems about time!Jeaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17482528482559445943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-78555727443691199842018-03-26T14:16:06.323-04:002018-03-26T14:16:06.323-04:00I'm glad you stopped in! While I was reading y...I'm glad you stopped in! While I was reading your blog I was trying to figure out where you live. I'm an hour east and north of you.<br /><br />I'm really surprised how many people have strong opinions on my dilemma here. And I thank you for weighing in so we have this opportunity to get to know each other a little better. (I've been reading your comments on our friend's blogsMisadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-56053380348421845772018-03-26T13:58:57.109-04:002018-03-26T13:58:57.109-04:00Hi Jean! I came over to say thanks for dropping by...Hi Jean! I came over to say thanks for dropping by The Marmelade Gypsy and leaving such a nice comment. And now I see you are in West Michigan. I'm in Lansing -- and it's a beautiful day here! And now I see you are friends with several of my friends -- BB and Shoreacres! How did I not find you before? I'm going to sign up for email alerts.<br /><br />So, I don't know you yet and IJeaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17482528482559445943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-2937934313730691382018-03-26T10:01:54.651-04:002018-03-26T10:01:54.651-04:00I hate those kinds of password problems! Happens t...I hate those kinds of password problems! Happens to me way too often.<br /><br />I know what you mean about filling a vacuum. It's part of the so-called widow's work to fill a giant vacuum. I've been on a mission to make friends for six years since my husband died and I've worked hard at it. The Gathering Girls is the result of that work. But it's not enough and I'm alwaysMisadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-82556483806576270402018-03-26T09:02:21.490-04:002018-03-26T09:02:21.490-04:00Speaking of getting old -- I've been out of to...Speaking of getting old -- I've been out of town for a few days, and when I sat down in the evening and tried to respond to your posts, I couldn't. Google wouldn't let me in without my password since I was on a different device, and I couldn't remember it for the life of me. I wasn't about to go through the agony of changing my google password; it took me two hours to figure shoreacreshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16284698314697628805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-83161769988512191362018-03-25T17:39:59.941-04:002018-03-25T17:39:59.941-04:00Isn't that coin toss a great idea! I plan to d...Isn't that coin toss a great idea! I plan to do it but not for a couple of weeks. I don't want the replies on this topic to influence my reaction one way or the other.<br /><br />I think if more people studied world religions they'd see the similarities and how they all evolved over time---some more than others. There is good in all of them and bad as well. I, like you, don't Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-80160444651079237682018-03-25T16:31:29.094-04:002018-03-25T16:31:29.094-04:00Jean :
I can so understand your dilemma. I love d...Jean :<br /><br />I can so understand your dilemma. I love donna's friend's coin toss method to decide what feels right thing to do. you know I never like any religion which says my religion or god is better than your religion & you will go to hell if you believe in anything else, that way over a billion people in world will be going to hell. I find Hinduism, more like way of life Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-87964917142338369542018-03-25T14:28:41.381-04:002018-03-25T14:28:41.381-04:00So true! The dilemma, I think, comes because our h...So true! The dilemma, I think, comes because our hearts and our heads are not in agreement and I'm in the process of talking my head into listening to my heart.Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-20177825359845025882018-03-25T14:10:53.320-04:002018-03-25T14:10:53.320-04:00I would be feeling the same, but when something be...I would be feeling the same, but when something becomes a dilemma it means your heart has already found the answer. Life is full of this kind of thing and it can be agonizing. Specially amongst us women who were always taught to put responsibility to others before ourselves.Laurenhttp://www.laurensnelson.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-80758579177849603772018-03-25T12:51:16.668-04:002018-03-25T12:51:16.668-04:00You and are a lot of alike in my ways. I keep thin...You and are a lot of alike in my ways. I keep thinking we share a gene some where along the line. LOL<br /><br />I love that coin toss idea and paying close attention by how I feel when the coin comes down. Your friend's logic in this is spot on. I shall try it when I'm in the right mood.Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-7861170338620021452018-03-25T12:30:35.004-04:002018-03-25T12:30:35.004-04:00Oh, how I relate to your dilemma! I have a habit ...Oh, how I relate to your dilemma! I have a habit of hanging on to sentimental attachments far beyond their benefit or usefulness to the person I've become. I have to go back to reminding myself there are "seasons of life" and while belonging to a group at one point in my life was magical and important and supportive.....that doesn't mean it will always be that way. We all donnajurenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10799559087972759233noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-1661723167414794492018-03-25T09:04:18.633-04:002018-03-25T09:04:18.633-04:00When I was my husband's caregiver I gave serio...When I was my husband's caregiver I gave serious thought to starting my own Red Hat Society chapter, one open just to other caregivers with limited time like I had back in those days and where occasionally we could bring our care recipients with us if we couldn't get a sitter that day. (Don was only good for 2 hours on his own.) So I can understand why your caregiver group is satisfying Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-40110466803753142002018-03-25T01:31:38.890-04:002018-03-25T01:31:38.890-04:00As a former queen of a Red hats group, I say, &quo...As a former queen of a Red hats group, I say, "Start your own group!" There are plenty of women out there who would love to meet and just have fun. Or start your own writers group. Women love to get together and, frankly, so many of us are widowed and count on these groups for support. But you don't have to stay in a group that has changed to something you don't enjoy. I Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08200581852399534898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-59447589583625208842018-03-24T23:23:42.262-04:002018-03-24T23:23:42.262-04:00Each chapter gets to define what fun looks like fo...Each chapter gets to define what fun looks like for them, I don't mean to be critical of THEM for enjoying a form of fun that I don't particularly want to do. Whatever I do l don't have to decide until fall when dues are paid. I'll let you all know.....<br />Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-73862556322318516002018-03-24T22:42:57.859-04:002018-03-24T22:42:57.859-04:00I agree with your commenters on this: the society...I agree with your commenters on this: the society has changed under new leadership and even though it filled a need for you at one time, it is no longer as attractive. It seems to run a little counter to the ideals of red hats...freeing older women from the constraints that they felt society placed on them...by outward displays of vibrant colors that don’t appear to match. And then your group Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-37830950065174030022018-03-24T16:46:21.389-04:002018-03-24T16:46:21.389-04:00The writers group got dismantled and I have kept m...The writers group got dismantled and I have kept my eyes open for another. For some reason writers groups never last more than a year or two...at least the ones I've been in but they are fun and keep you challenged.<br /><br />I love the Gathering Girls but I'm worried that age and health issues are going to take a big bite out of the group. Summer will tell.Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-55805365926758182022018-03-24T16:38:33.113-04:002018-03-24T16:38:33.113-04:00It seems your Gathering Girls fill all your needs....It seems your Gathering Girls fill all your needs. When I moved here, I joined 4 clubs which helped me get acquainted in the new town. Slowly I have narrowed it down to just my cancer support group which fills all my needs. Solid friends who laugh lots.<br />Maybe get back in the writer's group? I really enjoyed the group we had here but it disbanded. It was mentally stimulating. <br />Life Arkansas Pattihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14156004753267665579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-32554190150638779782018-03-24T15:10:44.064-04:002018-03-24T15:10:44.064-04:00Actually, the tours do include an hour talk about ...Actually, the tours do include an hour talk about the basics of their faith, the history of their art, architecture and/or individual church history. Of the four tours I went on The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was the only 'tour' I thought that actually preached to our group. I thought the Mosque was the most interesting because I knew the least about them and they served Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-43683563032793865972018-03-24T15:01:27.182-04:002018-03-24T15:01:27.182-04:00I just want to make sure I have an another social ...I just want to make sure I have an another social outlet before I let totally go of a group that at one time, filled a great need in my life.Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-70225471870978955212018-03-24T14:37:50.042-04:002018-03-24T14:37:50.042-04:00The temple/church tours don't include an inten...The temple/church tours don't include an intensive course in their religion do they? What is the problem. I love tours of church architecture--whether I believe in their theology or not. Some religious people are no narrow minded! A true, spiritual Christian shouldn't have a problem. But there I go, being judgmental again and I proclaim to be a true, spiritual Christian. Oops!Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03399435237919718544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-5295909753107351572018-03-24T14:25:42.524-04:002018-03-24T14:25:42.524-04:00Your last paragraph said it all. Why go through th...Your last paragraph said it all. Why go through the motions.<br />Besides, can't you return? Maybe call it a leave of absence and see how that feels and if you like it. Then cancel. Possible?Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)https://www.blogger.com/profile/04247428494327269983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5990351249805345004.post-54925968467043052612018-03-24T14:05:45.201-04:002018-03-24T14:05:45.201-04:00They have fun, church tours are just a different k...They have fun, church tours are just a different kind of fun than we used to have and not my cup of tea. I did mention once that I've already been in every single church in town when I servicing weddings for twenty years. So they accept that as the reason why I don't want to go. BUT others do enjoy going to them. Some have beautiful Tiffany windows or wonderful old world woodwork and Misadventures of Widowhoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17262709452281226620noreply@blogger.com