From reading there, I get the idea that purging the closet of Don’s clothing was quite an unusual accomplishment this close to his passing. That may be, but two things helped me in that endeavor. One: I have the quilt of his favorite old t-shirts that was made for him several years ago and I had the pleasure of seeing him cover up with it nearly every day since. If I didn’t have that quilt I don’t think the closet purging would have happened quite so soon. I’d take breaks from working in the closet, look at that quilt and say to the dog, “That’s Don. Not this other stuff.” Don helped pick out the logo shirts and patches in that quilt and I kidded him about wearing all of his favorite shirts all at one time. So let that be a lesson to anyone who's been putting off having a t-shirt quilt made. “Getter’ done!” to quote Larry the Cable Guy. You’ll never be sorry.
The second thing that helped me purge the closet is that I’m a coward. Yes, I am. I like getting the hardest thing done first so I don’t have to face the dread building up and up of doing something hard in the future. Why start at the bottom of a hill and push up when you can start at the top of the hill and push down? That’s my life philosophy. Or so I tell myself. But that’s just me and I know that we all have to follow the beat of our own heart and pick the time that feels right for each of us---be it in two days or two years. Grief cuts its own path across the field of life.©
Don's quilt (below) was made here.
Wow. I can't think of a cooler momento! I've kept a red polartec vest of his that I wear occasionally (even 7 years and a couple boyfriends later).
ReplyDeleteThank you. I love that quilt for what it meant to my husband.
ReplyDeleteI too cleaned out the closet quite early on because.....I too want to get the hardest thing done first!!! I did keep his sneakers by the front door for many months however--until one day my neighbor came in, looked down and said, "Are you expecting Fred to come get his shoes?" Then it just seemed silly of me to have them there, but....I still have them, 18 months later--in the closet. Hardly anything of his remains in this wee house, but those shoes. I just can't throw out those shoes. I wonder why.
ReplyDeleteI still have a pair of my husband's cowboy boots. He loved those boots and they've been sitting by our front door since Don had his stroke 12 years before his stroke. I'll never throw them out. I might plant something in them someday if I decide to move them to the outside of the door, inside the house. I don't wonder why I keep them. I know...I like the memories they bring. He always wore them when we had some fun on the scheduled.
ReplyDeletePost note: I just this past month moved the cowboy boots to inside the closet. I'm thinking about planting something it them and moving them outside next summer but I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet. I know I don't want anyone else to ever wear them.
ReplyDeleteI'm now at 21 months out from Don's passing.