So I was sitting in the lawyer’s office and she asked if I
have caller-ID, which I do, and then she proceeds to tell me to never answer
the phone if I don’t recognize the number. "There are too many people in
the world," she said, "who want to pull on your heart strings to get you to donate money or to
scam you." I couldn’t help wondering if all old people get that little lecture
or was there something about me that screamed POTENTIAL VICTIM! God, she made
me feel old, to be perceived as a sweet little old widow lady with feathers
between her ears. If I followed her caller ID advice---which I don’t plan to
do---then I’d probably turn into a paranoid and suspicious old woman who’d
eventually get committed for being anti-social. No, no, I can’t let a plumber in to fix the toilet. He might want to scam
me! I’ll just poop in a coffee can. Thank you very much, Ms. Lawyer Lady, but I
have a very healthy scam and con detector. And I don’t even finch when the humane
society commercials come on TV with their sappy music designed to pull on your
heart strings. I didn’t even bite when I got an e-mail from someone wanting to
send me a (fake) money order for $2,000 for the electric wheelchair I have up for
sale for $1,500. Who falls for scams like that?
I went to the antique mall yesterday where I rented showcase
space 10 days ago and the owner greeted me with: “Your booth is the most
popular one in the mall!” That was nice to hear and I couldn’t believe how much
stuff I’d sold in that length of time. I completely emptied the stock box I’d
brought with me, which I didn’t expect to happen. My first batch of listings on
eBay is also doing well. If these two ventures keep this up, by the end of the
summer tourist season I will achieve the goal I set for myself. But it’s bittersweet, seeing the things that
Don treasured disappearing from the garage. He was so proud to show off his
stuff. One time he had fallen out of his wheelchair and we had to call the EMT
guys. As they checked him out for injuries, Don said, “Garage?” which in
aphasia speak meant, “Can you take a tour of my garage?” I laughed and told the
guys that he was just fine. No one escaped his garage tours.
Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once said: “Life
is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only
creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in
whatever way they like.” That’s
what I’m doing---letting things flow naturally forward---and as long as I don’t
lose track of my long-term goals I’ll be okay. But every so often a dream of
Don will wake me up and I'll lie there in the dark wishing it didn’t have to be
this way. One step forward is one step farther away from the love of my life. ©
I hope this is just a dream...please? I know I don't want to be one step further away from mine either. People who said he took it well when he found out he was dying and it was because of me. I thought, you do not have any idea how much I just wanted to crawl in the bed with him and go too. I wanted him to have some control even if he had had none with the cancer. To die painlessly, why did he think I would want to stay here without him. I told him I wouldn't do anything stupid. I made him feel as safe and satisified as I could with my answers and thoughts.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of dog would I get when I got a new dog....I teasingly said one of those you can carry around in your pocket and grinned at him knowing I was teasing him. We have always had German Shepherds.