I finally got it back…my husband’s wedding ring that was incorporated into an opera length necklace. It was made by a woman who does bead work for craft shows and small boutiques. She did a good job but how could I not like it considering I picked out all the beads that she used.
Did you know that in colonial America
the Puritans thought adorning your body with a wedding ring was immoral,
wasteful? Instead of giving a ring during a wedding ceremony a man would pledge
his devotion by giving his bride a thimble engraved with her initials. It was
practical and useful in a time when all women had to sew if she didn’t want her
family to go to church naked. And they went to church a lot in those days. When
I was young and first getting interested in antiques it was a fad to collect initialed thimbles and if you were lucky enough
to find one that had the end of the thimble removed you knew it was used as a
make-shift ring by a Puritan woman who wasn’t all that keen on following rules
and living a moral life. She could switch that thimble back and forth between
the tip of her middle finger and up her ring finger when she wanted to add a
little sin into her schedule. And don’t we all want that from time to time? When
I wear my beaded necklace with Don’s wedding band incorporated I can slip that
ring on my finger and I will feel like a double agent with a secret. I can
pretend my ring fidgeting is a signal to other fans of Puritan style sinning.
Party on, ladies, I’ve got a ring on my finger!
The second photo (below) is of my lion charm necklace which
symbolizes my need to have courage throughout 2013. (See my New Year’s Eve post
if you want more information on the idea of having a One Word Inspiration to
take the place of resolutions.) It’s just a cheap craft store charm and chain
but I only wear it when I’m going someplace alone where I need to be reminded
to have courage in doing so. I was half of a couple for 42 years and the
transition to being single in a couple’s world still feels like I’m walking
naked in a dream---and that’s not a pretty visual when you’re my age. I haven’t
gone to a restaurant alone yet, for example, still haven’t done many things I’d
like to start doing again. So I’m taking my courageous lion with me in the spring to a breakfast-only café and the farmer’s market in a near-by tourist town. I want my summer time Saturday morning routine back! I
couldn’t bring myself to go that market last year because I wasn’t ready to
face the vendors' questions about why Don wasn’t with me. But life goes on and so
shall I with a little borrowed courage from a lion charm or a beaded necklace. ©
“He felt lighter than he had in weeks, and he realized that
the monster he had been running from wasn’t really a monster after all. It was
simply that place in the heart that holds the measure of your history, the joy
and the grief, the laughter and the tears, the magic and the wonder; all the
ingredients that add up to the story of a life well lived.”
Lilli Jolgren Day,
author of The Wonder of Ordinary Magic
Your necklace is so beautiful and unique! I love its dangling beads. I wonder what kind of reactions you'll get when you wear it.
ReplyDeleteI asked a jeweler from a crafts fair to make a necklace that incorporated my late husband's wedding ring, too. When I needed him close to my heart, there he was. Next best thing to him really being there : -(
Thank you. I was pleased with how it turned out. It's got a lot of crystal beads in it that don't show above and the combination goes well with the colors I like to wear the most. If anyone notices the ring I'll tell them what it is but if they don't I keep it my "open secret." How did people react to yours? Did you blog about it?
ReplyDeletePeople didn't notice the necklace's wedding ring, only marveling at its unusual design. I pointed its wedding band out once, putting its admirer and me in an awkward position explaining something I didn't care to explain. So, it is an 'open secret', like you say, and I haven't blogged about it.
ReplyDeleteSince I wanted to date again, after four years, I added my own wedding ring to it, and my ring fits perfectly inside the larger enclosure of his ring. My necklace hangs where I see it daily, and rarely around my neck. But when I wear it, I wear it proudly, for it commemorates our accomplishment, making it to the 'end', with grace and love.
I hope your necklace brings you peace and joy, too.
What a great idea for your own wedding ring! And also the idea of hanging the necklace where you can see it every day---hiding in plain sight. The necklace with the rings honors the bond without holding you back from dating.
ReplyDeleteJean, it's a beautiful necklace, seeing it warms my heart. I love your lion charm, and its powerful symbolism, too.
ReplyDelete~Katja.
Thank you! I was pleased with how they both turned out and I'm glad there are people out there in the world who understand why we widows like to have these things.
ReplyDeleteYou are so brave! And the idea of putting wedding bands for women onto necklaces after your partner's gone is a great idea. It makes you feel like they're there with you all the time.
ReplyDeleteThank you Allen! We call need to borrow a little courage from time to time. Whatever gets you moving again is great in my book.
ReplyDelete