Spam, Not Just for Dinner Anymore

Recently I was on my blog dashboard, looking at comments that needed to be approved through to public viewing and I found some spam. Spam comments are generic, canned comments that people hope will fool you into thinking they’ve read and enjoyed your blog and they always end with something like, “Come visit my blog.” You’d think they could find a more effective way to drive traffic to their blogs, but it is what it is and sometimes those comments are quite entertaining. Here’s the most recent one and it was left on the last post where I was lamenting about a knitting pattern I wasn’t willing to share. The spammer wrote: “I'm amazed, I must say. Rarely do I encounter a blog that's both educative and interesting, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. This problem is an issue that not enough men and women are speaking intelligently about. I’m very glad I stumbled across this very important information! Here is my blog” selling yadda, yadda yadda. Oh, ya, knitting rates right up there with discussions on global warming and sex trafficking. We need more people to talk about it!

Another bit of spam that cracked me up was left on a post titled, The Widow’s Workbook: “I was recommended to this blog by my cousin. I'm not sure, but I think he wrote your Monday post for you as nobody else knows such details about my problems. You are incredible! Thanks!” His site was a place to hire others to write essays and homework assignments for those who don’t want to do their own damn work. Aside from spam selling plagiarizing services, there are spammer selling drugs like this one: “Hi, I log on to your blog regularly. Your writing style is witty, keep up the good work! I sell cheap Viagra online. Check out my site. I’m sure you can use it.” I beg your pardon? Oh, my!

A post I wrote with “widowhood evaluations” in the title snagged two bits of spam: “I blog often and I seriously thank you for your content. This great article has truly peaked my interest. I will take a note of your blog and keep checking for new details about once per week. Find me at”…a place selling "cheap flat Irons." What the----!? And the other spam comment was: “I will right away take hold of your RSS as I can't find your e-mail subscription hyperlink or newsletter service. Do you have any? Please let me know RIGHT AWAY in order that I may subscribe. You can find me at…” a site for Black Friday deals. 

Sometimes you have to work harder than others to determine if a spam comment is a spam comment like with this one: “Today, I went to the beach with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said, 'You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.' She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! I know this is totally off topic but I had to tell someone! Here is my blog…” which turned out to be a blog that sells sports gear. The post she attached her comment to was about the day my husband’s brand new Chevy got shot on a hunting trip and it probably turned up in a search engine using the term ‘hunting’ or something similar. “Awesome!” another spammer wrote on the same post. “It’s in fact an amazing post, I have got a much clearer idea about the topic from this piece of writing. My site has the best cyber deals at….” a place that shall remind nameless.

For some reason whenever I use ‘diet’ in the title I get more spam comments than with other titles. Like this one: “I like what you guys are up too. This is clever work and reporting! Keep up the good work, guys. I've incorporated you guys in my blogroll. Here is my web-site…” It was site that sells vacuum cleaners and I’m still scratching my head on how they landed on a post about diets. And this one also has me scratching my head: “Hello. I wish to share a comment here concerning you. I personally loved this particular study you've done. We preserved you. Keep up the quality work. My website is ...” a porn site! Dieting and porn? I guess to some people they go together like ham and cheese.

All spammers think flattery will win you over so you’ll moderate their comments to go public---or maybe they don’t realize that some of us bloggers actually use a moderating feature on our blogs. In either case it’s very clear when someone hasn’t read your content like with the following spam comment left on a post about a Red Hat Society outing I went on: “These are actually impressive ideas. You have touched some fastidious things here. Anyway, keep up writing!” If that person, who sells dragons in every form conceivable, was truly fascinated by a bunch of ladies in red hats going to a deer park, I’ll apologize and eat my hat. Seriously, though, I do need to apologize to one anonymous person whose comment a month or two ago got incorrectly sent to my spam folder. Oops, I just found it! I'm sorry! ©