Sundays, Passwords and Passings

My Sunday routine has been in place for a boring long time. In the morning I’m consumed with CNN News shows on TV while drinking coffee, reading the newspaper, having a protein shake breakfast and scanning the computer for interesting things. In between noon and 9:00 PM (when Madame Secretary comes on TV) I do a flurry of activities in no particular order that includes: 1) checking the basement for signs of mice, water where it doesn’t belong and skinny men who might be hiding behind the furnace; 2) picking up dog poop in the dog’s pen; 3) emptying all the waste baskets; 4) taking the trash cart to the street for pick up on Monday morning; 5) doing three/four loads of laundry; 6) picking wayward items up in the house and putting them where they belong; and 7) planning my days out for the coming week. If I’ve got a particularly busy week ahead, I’ll also line up the clothes I’m going to wear in the order I’m going to wear them so I don't have to waste time making decisions in the mornings.

This week I went to a class taught by two geeks from the library on how to manage passwords and create safe ones. It was a group class at the senior hall but the most useful thing I learned is that you can book a free half hour with a geek at the library on any topic or problem you’re having with any device you can bring in---laptops, cell phones, tablets, iPads, iPods or Kindle-like readers. They showed us how to use password managers and I decided I don’t like them. In fact, all of those sitting close by me agreed that keeping a physical notebook makes us feel safer than having our information hackable in a cloud or stuck in a crashed computer. Call us old and set in our ways because we are. The geeks did say if we’re going to do that don’t keep the notebook within arm’s reach of your computer and whatever you do don’t keep a note with your important passwords underneath your keyboard. Duh, The way the geeks suggested we make up good passwords was to use a sentence we can remember like, “The cow jumped over the moon” then just use the first or second letters of each word and add characters or numbers in between the letters. For example the cow sentence (tcjotm) becomes T1c2j3o4t5M and they recommend we change our passwords every two months. Like that’s going to happen in Old People Land.

One of my sister-in-law’s on my husband’s side passed away this week. She was ten years older than me and lived in a nursing home for the past 5-6 months, but before that she lived close by and I’d stop to see her a couple of times a month. She made me laugh and was a constant source of family gossip thus you had to be careful what you told her unless you wanted your business known to one and all. Still, of all my in-laws she was the one I was the closest with and she thought I hung the moon. From day one she accepted me as a sister/friend and for four decades we were included in every single family gathering she had at their house and cottage. In her heydays she fostered over thirty children. Babies were tucked into every corner of their house along with her own five children. Over the years she didn’t take very good care of her health but she never lost her love of cooking. If she wasn't feeding you she was sending you home with a box of leftovers when you'd leave. When I had my knee replaced in 2009 she kept Don and I well fed for over a week---every day driving over with more food than we could eat. Her big heart and her polish kielbasa will be missed.

If we are lucky enough to live a long life we’re also unlucky enough to watch many of our family and friends pass on to where ever we want to believe they go. We’re barely into March and already I’ve lost three this year. Although not all losses are as dramatic as losing a spouse, every person we lose leaves their mark on the world; with most, we savor the good memories and let any bad ones fad into oblivion. But I’ll bet most of us wish we had taken the time to thank those who’ve gone before us, to tell them how much we appreciate how they’ve enriched our lives. Lately, as one-by-one I say good-bye to yet another person who passes over, there's a haunting voice in my head asking, How will I be remembered when my time comes? Have I done enough, cared enough, given enough, loved enough…the unanswered questions are unrelenting. ©

“I am always saddened by the death of a good person. 
It is from this sadness that a feeling of gratitude emerges. 
I feel honored to have known them and blessed that

 their passing serves as a reminder to me
 that my time on this beautiful earth is limited 

and that I should seize the opportunity I have to forgive, share, explore, and love. 

I can think of no greater way to honor the deceased than to live this way.” 

Steve Maraboli