Makeup and Maintenance

Life is going by so fast it’s a wonder I’m not getting nose bleeds from the speed. Is that even a thing? Christmas has come to the stores and a few bloggers and I haven’t even bought my Halloween candy yet. I never buy it early because I’d start eating it and have to buy it a second time. I hate that Halloween always starts me on a sugar binge that lasts until the January diets cycle around. I used to buy miniature bags of popcorn and pretzel bags but as my then-young neighborhood started popping out more and more children I got priced out of giving those out. Neighborhoods change. I used to get 140 kids, now it’s down to 70 to 80 kids. I still buy animal crackers for the tiniest trick-or-treaters because the dog and I love having them left over at the end of the night. 

Moving on. I went to a Mary Kay makeup party/luncheon. One of my Gathering Girls friends has a daughter who is a top sales representative, her full time job that earns her a free car to drive and she just got home from a Mary Kay Caribbean cruise and she took her mom with her, expense free for both of them. While I was getting my face made up I asked if the party was a makeup intervention for me because I’m the only one in the group who doesn’t wear anything but lip gloss and eyebrow cream. When I buy makeup it turns rancid before I can use it up because I don’t go anywhere often enough to bother wearing. I also don’t trust my old, cataract encrusted eyes to be seeing color accurately enough to plaster on all that stuff. I see older women who wear colors that are too bright and fake looking and when I mentioned my fear at the party, several of my friends assured me that they would tell me if I was doing that. Sure, famous last words. 

I have to admit that my before and after photos did show a flattering difference but all I bought was an eyebrow pencil and a tub of lipstick which cost me $30.74 and an extra trip to pick them up a few days later. I did love the feel of the Mary Kay sugar scrub for your lips but I figure I could smear a couple of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups on my lips and it would have the same effect for a fraction of the price. Still, the party was fun and I got an email from the daughter a few days later thanking me for “playing along” and being “a free spirit” which left me scratching my head about the latter. I guess makeup demonstrations with seniors bring out the silly in me. The same thing happened when I went to a fashion and makeup show with my future neighbors last summer. 

With all the lip service (no pun intended) given to striving to be our authentic selves it’s a curiosity that painting our faces up has endured since the days of the Egyptian queen, Cleopatra. Oh, yes, turning eyes “green” with copper ore and drawing black lines around eyes with Kohl is the foundation of all the Mary Kay and Avon parties. What we forget is that men, back in 4,000 BC were every bit as besotted with their superficial appearances as the women were but somehow they managed to leave the practice of wearing eye makeup back in the pages of history until this century when metro-sexual men started in again. Why? Why did men stop using makeup (except for powder) and why on earth would they start spending the money and the time again when they were free of all that fuss? By the way, archaeologists believe the practice of the Egyptians giving themselves the ancient version of our modern-day smoky eyes may have had a practical purpose of reducing the glare of the sun. Okay, I guess that makes sense, judging by all the war movies and football players I’ve seen. 

Moving right along, again. Yesterday was a house maintenance day and it’s a relief to finally get my gutters cleaned out. One of them had to be taken apart to get a mass of pine needles out. That particular downspout was causing a waterfall when it rained to pour over my front sidewalk which would have caused a dangerous, icy mess in the months to come. There’s always something. 

Yesterday an arborist also spent three hours trimming my shrubs. He’s eight-two! I had a hard time booking him because he bowls on Mondays, goes somewhere else fun on Wednesdays and cuts lawns on Fridays. On Tuesdays and Thursdays when he trims shrubbery I was always booked up. I had to cancel a RSVP to attend a lecture to fit him in. The lecture was one I really didn’t want to miss. It was given by two people: one the daughter of the Japanese ambassador during WWII and the grandson of Eisenhower’s Chief of Intelligence. I saw them interviewed on TV afterward and know I missed a fascinating perspective on the war. But I enjoyed spending time out in the yard. Between the downspout guy (who was upbeat and fun to be around) and arborist both being here for hours, I was dead tired from raking and holding the ladder. But it was disappointing that neither one of them noticed my new and “improved” eyebrows. Should I ask for my Mary Kay money back? ©


NOTE: If anyone wants to see the 'after' picture of my makeover last week, click on the page at the top that's labeled 'What I Write About.'