The last time someone called me stupid was this morning when I berated myself for forgetting the Cardinal Rules for fixing all computer related boo-boos: 1) When all else failed restart your machine. 2) Restart your wi-fi. 3) Go to your bedroom, lay down a few minutes then get back up and restart your whole freaking day if you have to and by some miracle it all helps. But why does it take me a hour or two of frustration trying to get my printer to work before---Lo and Behold---the Cardinal Rules pop into my head? Someone needs to embroider those rules on throw pillow. I’ll bet they’d make a lot of money and I would be first in line to buy one.
I’ve been packing boxes and I’m up to 76 now. I have a handwritten inventory sheet that I finally typed into a word document and I wanted to print it off. Thus I was given the keys to Frustration City. Losing my printer was a frequent occurrence with my old computer and I got so I could download new drivers and get it back online in less than ten minutes. But with my new computer everything I tried including getting new drivers wasn’t working. Until I remembered to apply the freaking magic rules.
After I move I wouldn’t even need a printer if I didn’t want one. They’ll have a IT room like in hotels where you can walk in with your laptop and send your documents to one of their printers.They’ll also have an IT guy at our beck-and-call too which I was excited about until I learned he gave us bad information when he spoke at a future residence meeting and told us we could keep our Charter e-mails forever when the company says otherwise.
In case you’re wondering about how the vast right wing made me do these stupid things, it didn’t. I got that title from a title generator that I found through another blogger, The Spectacled Bean. I put ‘doing stupid things’ into the generator and laughed out loud when it came up with the title at top of this post. I’m not sure if 'Portent's Content Idea Generator' will become a part of my blogging MO but if you’ve been reading me for very long you’ll be able to tell those spoof titles from the ones my brains works so hard at churning out. It’s no secret that coming up with titles is my least favorite part about blogging. I had the same issue coming up with titles for art work back in the olden days when I needed to name paintings for exhibits. Screw the naming question. The bigger cliffhangers in my future according to the Gospel of Me is will I be able to paint again or did the years take away any talent I might have had?
My new phone got shipped and delivered in record time but I was ready for it. For some obscure reason it ported contacts from an older version that included a bunch of contacts for Levi that I had deleted when he died. No worries. I deleted them again and put the hard copy list I made in my emergency ‘Go Bag’ for a power outrage or the apocalypse, which ever comes first.
Next step was to start the porting process for transferring my landline number to the my new cell and if you read the comments section on my last post you know that is not going well. The saga continued for two mornings spent on hold and getting passed around Spectrum with different departments contradicting each other. Finally, I was given a phone number for Great Calls to call to find out why the rejection happened. Twice. Great Calls conferenced me in on the call to Spectrum and fingers crossed I'll know by Monday if the third port request works. If not, Great Calls was told by Spectrum to do the 4th request "manually" whatever that means. I'm so glad I didn't wait until closer to the move to go through this.
The house closing took place today but with hitch I wasn't expecting. Because my buyers were from out-of-state the title company couldn't issue me a check for my house until they get electronic copies of the buyer's notarized signatures. They didn't spring that twist on until the very end. Essentially, I signed my house over and had to walk out with a PROMISE the check would get hand delivered this afternoon. With so many moving parts, I feared something would go wrong. But it didn't. Got the check as promised but the bank says there's a two day hold on it which means I have to go back to get a cashier's check to make the final payment for my new place.
Since my husband’s (and my) grave marker is nearby the place where we closed I swung around to the cemetery so I could dig a hole for Levi’s ashes without getting caught. I was like Johnny Appleseed when I spread my husband’s ashes in two counties and at six places and that’s not counting the half a box of ashes buried at the cemetery, an ash locket I used to wear a lot and a four inch tall ash urn kept in a velvet box on my book shelve. Did I shed tears planting Levi's ashes into the ground? Yes, but not many and they were more about closure than the pain of loss. And for the fact that I probably won't get back up to this end of the county until my ashes are interred.
The day we interred my husband's ashes the sexton asked me if I wanted to be at the foot or head of the gravesite because Don’s ashes would be placed
at the opposite end and it struck me that these three guys---two
sextons and the funeral director---would probably judge our entire
marriage dynamics by the answer I gave. I went back and forth trying to
figure out a logical choice and finally I decided dead is dead and what
difference could it possibly make what I picked or what these strangers
thought. As hard as that decision was that day I don't remember what I decided nine years ago. Levi's ashes went as close to the stone as I could get them because I didn't want to accidentally dig up husband. That would be hard to explain.
Jeez, how did I get from vast right wing conspiracies making a person do stupid things to burying my dog’s ashes? If you can figure that out maybe you can help me step away from the computer and go find me some breakfast. My stomach is growling. ©
Wishing you the best. ❤️
ReplyDeletekeep them coming, I think they are helping.
DeleteAs I read, I'm ticking off all the tasks you've managed to accomplish, but you're probably seeing the ones still ahead of you. Brava for all you've accomplished! As to your painting, I had a long hiatus between my mid-90's published young-adult novels and the novel I wanted to write next. During that period, the mergers-and-acquisition activity of the mid- to late-90's saw my publishing house absorbed by another, with the resultant loss of my editor. I had just lost my agent when she accepted an editing job for a regional paper that allowed her to spend more time with her boys. I accepted an offered job writing for a financial website in which I could employ my interest in mathematics and even physics. Most most technical analysis tools for the financial markets are based on ballistics. I thought I could write fiction after my other work was done. I could not. Other people can write in after hours, but I am not one of those, I found. When I retired, I, too, worried that I might have lost a creative ability that had been important to me, especially since two brain surgeries had been involved in my decision to retire. Anti-epileptic medications and those surgeries resulted in much trouble editing my articles, texts, and comments on posts. I set my goals more discretely than I had in the past. The first goal was to complete a first draft. Next was to edit it. Not beginning the process with the unlikely goal of finding a traditional publishing contract took pressure off and let me celebrate reaching those smaller goals. I hope you'll find your way back to painting, too.
ReplyDeleteI've always believed where there's a will there's a way and your perseverance to write again sure proves that. I know I'm in for a little frustration because I'll need to change styles to something that doesn't require such fine motor skills. In the past when I've taken log breaks from painting it would take 2-3 months of practice to get back what I'd lost but, like you, a lot has changed health wise and my break was much longer. Thanks for sharing your story.
DeleteLife for left-handed people wasn't always so easy! When I was a teacher I did my student teaching with first graders. We gently "encouraged" the lefties to use their right hands, instead. Thank goodness they're not wasting time on that anymore. We have bigger fish to fry--like how to educate children and keep them safe at the same time.
ReplyDeleteOh Jean, 76 boxes. Moving is so much work! I've only packed a few boxes, but I have to admit, it felt good to get a little bit done. I was thinking about the time we had professional movers pack us up and move us. They moved with the speed of light. However, there was one little issue. They were bringing my clothes dryer up the basement stairs, and lost their grip. Yep, hubby and I looked at each other as we heard the boom-boom-boom of our new dryer hitting every step. The company was good about sending us a check to replace the dryer, but you know what? When we got moved into our new home, hubby took it apart to check its insides, then he plugged it in, set the dial and it worked. In fact, it worked for many years. I share this little tidbit to encourage all of us who are in the process of moving, to expect some things to tumble, but there will be wonderful surprises, too.
"Two sextons and a funeral director walked into a bar..." Take it from there. My gosh, you're placing your husband's ashes and they're fast forwarding to your burial. What is wrong with people??? All three of them must have missed the class that teaches how to interact with those who are grieving. I'll never forget when my mom passed, she had made all her final arrangements in advance, but there was one little slip-up. We got to the funeral home for visitation, and everything looked great (as funeral homes go), except her urn was nowhere in sight. There were the beautiful big vases filled with her favorite flowers, and no urn between them. Of course I asked where it was. The young man told me he'd try to "track 'em down." Well the driver who was delivering them from the crematory apparently needed to take a meal break en route. You can't make this stuff up. The ashes showed up just as mom's friends were walking through the front door to pay respects. Forgive me for going on and on, but you always make me think, Jean. Don't work too hard, Jean, and try not to worry. Things do seem to work out (most of the time).
I love the stories you shared although living through them it probably took time to find the humor within.
DeletePam, that's interesting about trying to change lefties to use their right hands. I wonder if that was done to me when I was in grammar school in the early 1950's. I write with my right hand but use my left for just about everything else. I remember one of my teachers saying that when I was writing something in class my left hand was clenched into a tight fist. It was almost like it wanted to be the one doing the job but wasn't allowed to. Both my daughter and her daughter are lefties. No changes there!
DeleteWhen I was in grammar school during the '50s I had a few teachers who tried to change me to a rightie and a few who didn't. Don't think that wasn't confusing. It sure sounds like you were discouraged at an early age to write right-handed.
DeleteHey TexasTrailerParkTrash, you very well may have been a lefty had you not been prompted to use your right hand. Interesting that your daughter and her daughter are lefties. Crazy what we try to change in children!
DeleteI don't think you would have dug up your husband for Levi unless you're a lot better with the shovel than I am. But close to the stone is a better place for not getting caught. "Just planting seeds!" I'm glad you're settled with the house and all. That's a chunk. I freaked out with a used car. Don't start me on computers. Mine magically started printing only black and white. I've tried all the rules and am flummoxed!
ReplyDeleteI know, I watched how deep they put my husband's ashes and I had no intentions of going that deep but part of my rationale for going close to the stone was what you said, I didn't want a cemetery worker to question what I was doing because they'd probably want to charge me money for that if they didn't prohibit me from doing it. Levi is the very first dog I've had that got cremated. The rest have gravesites of their own.
DeleteI love the title and thought you were going to bring up the tru believers who are taking horse worming medicine to treat their COVID cases because they trust vets but not doctors or science. But I digress. It is lovely that you buried Levi near Don’s ashes. Brought tears to my eyes.
ReplyDeleteBtw, the IT guy may be right. I can’t get rid of my Comcast email but have to log onto Comcast to read them although we cancelled the contract 4 1/2 years ago. I went with Gmail in case we moved again.
I didn't want to keep his ashes and it didn't make sense to spread them here and leave or at the new place he'd never been.
DeleteGlad you like the title. It tickles my funny bone and don't we all have to find humor where ever we can.
Charter's website spells it out that email addresses will only work for 30 days after an account with them is closed. But I will check it out after those 30 days are up. I get an enormous amount of spam on that account so I'm not unhappy to leave it behind.
Great post! So glad your house closed without incident. We had the same dance - picking up a check later, getting a cashier's check from the bank to buy the new one, hold on the money, etc. I ended up at the credit union the morning we closed the new house going through some dance because the "manager was in a meeting in another location" and the teller didn't have permission to issue a check that large, etc. It was stressful but it all worked out. Gave me a few heart palpitations, though.
ReplyDeleteNow that I read your adventures, I think we had to do some type of manual port process, too. It's maddening and I'm sure they hope people give up. But we don't!
When we buried my dad's ashes (small town cemetery in the boondocks), my brothers went to the cemetery the night before to dig the hole in the dark. One of them wanted to save the fee the sexton charged. /eyeroll I was beyond arguing at that point and boys will be boys. ha!
I should have anticipated that cashier check delay. But I'm only 7-8 miles from the town with park along the bridge where I bank. The branches around me went teller-less and I refuse to use them and self-serve lines at grocery stores. It's a question of saving jobs and I know my efforts are fruitless. The other day at Lowes all they had were self-serve lines because all their cashiers called in sick (of working on a nice weather day). The machine ran out of change and it took forever to work that out.
DeleteBack in the olden days families were allowed to dig graves for family. What your brother did was quite the bonding ritual wasn't it. I wonder if they went out for drinks after or before.
Given it was my brothers, the drinks were before AND after. LOL.
DeleteI do live by those cardinal rules and by golly they work. When they don't I call my provider to see if it is me or him and that is the first thing he always suggests.
ReplyDeleteI think I popped an artery when you said you had 76 boxes packed. There just really is no fun in moving is there?
So glad Levi and Don are together.
I've still got to pack my books, clothes and kitchen. I did reserve/hire my house cleaning service to help with that mid September if I need them. I'll probably end up with 100 boxes.
DeleteMe too on Don and Levi.
Computers that don't work scare the crap out of me. LOL
Glad you got your printer working again. That is so frustrating but you are right about restarting everything. That usually does help!
ReplyDeleteYou are a super packer! Moving is so stressful and time-consuming. You are smart to start getting ready early. Hopefully all will go smoothly for here on out!
I don't remember doing this much packing last time I moved. I keep thinking I'm taking too much.
Deleteyour blogs crack me up, I am so happy Don & Levi are together & hopefully you will remember where you want to be laid to rest ner foot or head lol does it even matter lol
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the cemetery kept a record of where Don is in the grave site. LOL
DeleteYou put me to shame! I'm still here but not feeling the blogging.
ReplyDeleteI'm amazed you got a paper check and then have to do another paper check for selling and buying. We did everything electronically! Instant gratification. In fact, we were in Hong Kong when we closed on this condo.
I didn't ask for paper but I feel more comfortable doing it that way.
DeleteBlogging is harder when your life is peaceful and serene...as much as it can be with two little boys in the house.
Back to school readiness, kidults looking for jobs (hooray!), haircuts for all, take in the $8M worth of school supplies today, trying to talk boys OUT of using school bus ... and HOUR on the bus to go two miles! I need a "job" to get me up and out of my jammies before noon.
DeleteToo bad you're not closer, I'd put you to work helping me move.
DeleteI have my husband's ashes here in my apartment. I plan on keeping them and when I go, our daughter can do whatever she wants with us but I think she'll probably keep us in an urn. At least that's what she said she wants to do.
ReplyDeleteIt was important for my husband to have a grave marker and for family history purposes which be both loved it's also important to have a marker. And with no kids I could see your ashes ending up in the trash someday, if they weren't interred.
DeleteIt sounds like you're hanging in there, still keeping a good attitude and getting things accomplished.
ReplyDeleteI and I keep telling myself I'm saving a ton of money to pack my own stuff ($75 an hour person is the going rate around here).
DeleteI don't like coming up with the Post Title Hooks either, some people seem so Clever at it, I'm not one of them. I still have my Printer under the Table here not hooked up since we moved in last February. The Young Prince was supposed to hook it up for me when he was here, but, never happened. Ah well, lived without it this long I guess it isn't that relevant. You actually have an Inventory List for all 76 Boxes, I bow down to you. I had some scribbled Index Cards with random shit written on them taped to each Box. After a while The Son and his Friends got Comedic on me and wrote hilarious 'contents' instead of what was really in there: Eye of Newt, Gypsy Tears, Blood of Ox, Hair of Virgins... you know, the usual stuff an Old Crone like me might actually HAVE in a Box. *winks*
ReplyDeleteYa, but your son and is friends were actually describing the crazy stuff you collect. LOL I think indexes cards on the boxes would be handier than a list. I do have a numbers card on each list with a general idea of what's in each book, the list is more complete.
DeleteYou managed far more then me
ReplyDeleteI don't have a choice.There is no on else to do it.
DeleteA former colleague who taught research methods and statistics had a sign on her office door that read, "A computer project that does not go as planned will take ten times longer than you anticipated. One that does go as planned will only take four times longer than anticipated."
ReplyDeleteSometimes the don't seem to save you any time at all. Like that sign.
Deleteyour postings have made me decide I never want to move... even if it means my daughters and/or husband have to find my desiccated corpse underneath my teddy bear making supplies
ReplyDeleteLOL Moving is really hard but I want to play instead of spending all my time taking care of a big house. I kept a small box of teddy bear making supplies. I used to make all sizes but I only kept stuff for the mini...as if I still have the finger dexterity for them....wishful thinking I might find out.
DeleteAt first I thought 76 boxes was really a lot. Then I thought about my change of apartments. I know I had at least 15 boxes of books, and around 30 boxes of my collectible china. A dozen boxes for the kitchen, minimum, and all those storage boxes, and I would have been right up there with you. One thing that made for more boxes was the fact that I moved myself, too, and I didn't want any box that I couldn't carry. There were a few, but the movers mostly dealt with the furniture and such.
ReplyDeleteMy big excitement for the week was realizing I'd erased a whole set of photos from one of my camera's cards. I thanked my lucky stars that I'd spent the $9.99 for a program that can be used to retrieve deleted files of any sort: photos, music, pdfs, etc. I ran the program, and got the photos back.I need to get really serious about sorting, culling, and organizing. I just don't want to put my photos in the cloud, so backing them up is critical. What I do need to do now is get some photos taken for insurance purposes. Every year I swear I'm going to do that, and I don't. I'd best get with it. We're skating this time (sorry, Louisiana), but The Season is far from over.
Considering where you live you probably should have photos for your insurance carry. Sometimes being prepared is the best defense against the worst case scenario from happening. I don't trust cloud storage either to always be there or to always be free or hack proof.
DeleteI finally figured out how to get my new computer to stop making photo albums for me. Crazy! They grouped photos I took for e-Bay sales and grouped stuff plan to sort and delete. Computers keep our brains working, don't they, with learning how to do new programs like you just got.
We have several left-handed relatives on my ex-husbands side. Both of my kids were right-handed but my middle grand girl lead with her left hand as a youngster. She writes and paints with her right hand but I advised my son to let her use whichever hand she naturally chose. I don't think she had any frustration, at least I hope not.
ReplyDeleteThat's good advice. Some lefties can use both hands but prefer one over the other. I don't do anything right handed.
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