I always have a death grip on my notebook when I have it out in public. Its not like I have the nuclear codes or the passwords to my bank accounts inside but I don’t want anyone around me to see the words I may have written about them to use for blog fodder later on. Not that anyone could read my written-in-haste scribbling. Half the time I can’t even do that. I have been practicing my penmanship lately, though, ever since I found a pad of calligraphy paper I didn’t want to throw out. Everyday I fill up a sheet and I figure it will be all used up by moving day. Loosening my hold on the pen and slowing down has done wonders to restore my once beautiful handwriting. I still can’t believe they don’t teach cursive in schools anymore. When we're all 90 we can pass notes gossiping about the staff at the nursing home and if they intercept a note they won’t have a clue what we’re saying about them. This fact was driven home to me 3-4 years ago when the mom-to-be at a baby shower had to have messages written inside cards read to her if they were written in cursive.
The eye doctor did not have the best news for me regarding my upcoming cataract surgery. I have a condition on my left eye called a macular pucker which is like wrinkles on your macular and not to be confused with macular degeneration. Only 5% of the population has one. Lucky me. I’ve known about it for a long time because it leaves a blank spot in the middle of an eye chart and makes straight lines look broken. I’m pretty sure it was caused when I Crazy Glued my eye ball to the inside of my eye lid, but the eye doctor says eye injuries aren't the only cause of macular puckers. Still, nothing else on the short list of known causes fits my history.
The condition not only limits the choice of lens the doctor can use to replace the cataract but my eye will be in danger of swelling four weeks out from the surgery. Isn’t that timing weird? If that happens I’ll have to have shots in my eye and the doctor couldn’t tell me if those shots are a one-and-done thing or if I'd be in for a lifetime of shots in the eyeball. In addition to the normal drops one gets after cataracts are removed, I'll be doing extra eye drops a week before the surgery and "several" weeks after in that eye.
I asked her if I could let the left eye I go and just have the right eye cataract removed and she said if I let it will be hard to get the cataract separated from the pucker and I’d end up going blind. The fancier lens that let you see without glasses, she also said, "would be a waste of money for you." "I don’t care if I have to wear glasses,” I told her. “Glasses hide my mis-matched eyebrows.” I’ll bet she’s never heard that one before in her sixteen years of practice. I also have an astigmatism which are common so I'd still be wearing glasses after my surgery even without the pucker.
This is the first time I’ve met this doctor. She inherited me from my long-time doctor who collects paintings done by obvious-to-him artists with eye diseases and conditions. He retired early because of the pandemic. The last time I saw him he said he'd hand me off to the surgeon I'm getting when my cataracts were 'ripe' but I feel bad that I didn't get to say goodbye and wish him well. We had a great rapport. I loved talking art with him and seeing his art on the walls of his office.
In these modern times of handheld devices the ophthalmology office made me view videos of all the wonderful things I can expect during and after surgery and then they followed that up with a folder full of papers to take home of all the scary things that can go wrong that a patient is to read before signing the consent forms. I hate this! I’m only going to tell people I'm getting the surgery on a need to know basis so I don't have to listen to all the piece-of-cake stories and how I'm going to love the results because I'll be tipsy-toeing around for four weeks waiting to see if I get to joint that piece-of-cake club or not. I'm glad I’ll have lots of moving related things to think about in the meantime so I won’t obsess about someone cutting into my eye, sucking out the cataract and hoping she gets all the pieces hiding in the pucker so I don’t get an infection. She's only seen "3 or 4" macular puckers and my old doctor had only seen five and mine counts as one for both of them.
On the good side if things do go horribly wrong maybe I can create my old doctor a painting for his collection. I could be the artist who specializes in portraits of people who have faces with misaligned features. Oh wait, I could that now! I miss his fatherly reassurances and humor. I'll bet he would have thrown me a line from the Hunger Games after giving me the pre-OPT workup: "May the odds be ever in your favor." I would have laughed away some of my apprehensions and he would have followed that up with a warm smile while adding, "Doctor Lady Pants is one of the best in the city. You'll do fine." (Note: Lady Pants is not her real last name but I bet you figured that out already.)
I didn't want Doctor Art Lover to retire until after I die. Same with my with dermatologist. He also retired early because of the pandemic and his son is taking over his practice. But getting naked in front of a strange man is a worry for next summer and there's always the off chance that's I'll be skinny by then. If that happens, I'd probably strip with a little too much glee. ©
I hope it goes well. Eye problems are always scary...I'm so sorry you were unlucky.
ReplyDeleteA normal cataract surgery is scary enough even though it's considered one of the safest in the world.
DeleteMy beloved eye doc retired, too -- although after five years of waiting for my cataracts to be 'ready,' he was the one who recommended the surgeon and he was there for follow up visits. He was a photographer and nature lover, so we were a good fit. I'll spare you my stories, but I will say I was surprised to read about astigmatism and glasses. I've had astigmatism my whole life, but post-lens implants, I've not needed glasses at all. I'm not sure how many years it's been -- four or five, I'd say -- but things still are clicking along. I do know another blogger (now "retired") who used to get those shots in her eye for some reason, and it astonished me that she said they weren't bothersome at all. The thought kind of creeps me out, but cataract surgery creeped me out too, until I had it and got all interested in it.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if there are different degree of astigmatisms to explain why one person would need corrective glasses and another wouldn't it. I'll try to ask next time I go in.
DeleteI think you're thinking of "What She's Thinking" Bella Rum. She had macular degeneration and it always creeped me out to read about her getting shots in her eyes. I don't see any signs that she's blogged since March.
I'm surprised you've already had cataract surgery. I always thought your were a lot younger than me.
Sometimes it is not an advantage to be in the 5% category. Never heard of the pucker and hope not to. I am sorry you have lost your long time eye doc. Not fair when facing surgery to put your eye in the hands of a newbie. I guess it is good though that it won't happen till after the move. That would be too much on your plate. Hope you have more confidence in her by then.
ReplyDeleteSomeone at the eye clinic told me a lot of doctors are leaving early because of Covid, fear of getting it when they are so close to what they've worked for all their lives.
DeleteI picked the date of two and four weeks after the move. I hope two weeks to get settled in is enough. I want to get the follow up appointments in before the snow flies. The doctor wanted to remove my cataracts last spring but I been putting off any thing that would require my niece/s to have to be there. The main reason I'm moving is to be relocated in a place that is easier for them give me that kind of back up when absolutely necessary.
Complications do happen but mostly they don’t. I have to wear glasses still under certain lighting conditions, when hand sewing or if print is small due to astigmatism. I think it is because I chose the simplest lens to be implanted but who knows as it was done years ago. I was pretty young (relative term) for cataract surgery but lucky me they grew right in the center of my eyes which is uncommon. Still having the cataracts gone is amazing. Did they tell you about the lens further back in your eye that may get cloudy some time after the surgery? They polish that one with a laser if it happens and it is then fixed but you can bet they make sure you won’t move your head. I just think it is amazing they can’t fix all these things!
ReplyDeleteI will have the simplest lens too, so this is encouraging. Didn't know they could get cloudy and need polishing. Amazing the stuff they can do with something so tiny. Must have hands of steel to do that kind of work.
DeleteIt isn’t the implanted lens that gets cloudy but your own membrane behind the lens. They just polish it!
DeleteMy sister has the wet macular degeneration and is getting shots in both eyes. She says the worst part is the betadine eyewash. For 24 hours she says it's like a piece of sand is in her eye but fine after that. Her vision has really been helped.
ReplyDeleteThat encouraging to know! Thank your for sharing that. I think the treatment for anything to do with the macular are going to be basically the same no matter the cause. I'm so bad at putting anything in my eyes but I'm been practicing.
DeleteP.S. My eye usually feels like I have sand it it.
DeleteMy husband had macular pucker. He saw a retinal specialist and was told surgery only helped half the time. This was 9/10 years ago,so maybe things have improved. I’d suggest you see one first before surgery.
ReplyDeleteI had cataract surgery 10+ years ago. All went well, but always had to use readers, but no distant lens for years. But now I need distant to drive well. I can see, but….
Shots in the eye sounds horrible, but I know people do it all the time.
Good luck
From what I've read, the surgery to deal with the pucker still doesn't work all that well and there is no consensus (that I find) on whether to deal with the cataract or the pucker first. It's a case-by-case bases as not all puckers are the same, and results are so uneven.
DeleteThey numb you up before the shots but so do dentists and then the dentist doesn't always wait long enough for the numbing shot to work. LOL Thousands of people go back for more shots in their eyes so we have to trust they aren't as bad as they sound.
Thanks for your input!
Well, something to distract you from your moving worries! Ugh! It is hard to stay calm as one gets older because there is always some new odd thing springing up for us to deal with! Hope all will go smoothly for you.
ReplyDeleteMe too. I'd put cataract surgery off as long as I could and would have been fine with it if it wasn't for the extra little worry thrown into the mix.
DeleteMy 91 year-old mother's macular degeneration became the "wet" kind and she had injections in her eye several times for it. Unfortunately, by the time it was discovered, it was too late to make a difference. She never complained about any discomfort from it though. I think she enjoyed the attention. :)
ReplyDeleteI worked for an ophthalmologist for about 3 years. When the capsule holding the lens replacement becomes cloudy, they do what's called a laser posterior capsulotomy. With posterior capsulotomy, a laser is used to make an opening in the cloudy capsule. This allows light to pass through again for clear vision. No polishing involved.
Isn't it amazing what they can do! I'd be fascinated to read a book about the early development of treatments like that, who volunteers to be the first.
DeleteI go to my eye doctor every year and have for years. Hopefully, nothing will slip by them.
I'm glad to read yet another comment about there being no pain with the injections, should I need them. Things are looking up.
At the time my mother had the injections, there were two drugs, Avastin and Lucentis. (I think there may be one or two more now.) Avastin was what they call "off label" use because it was initially made for treating colon cancer but they found it worked for wet macular degeneration by blocking the creation of new blood vessels that could leak. Lucentis was approved just for this purpose. When my mother had hers, the Avastin cost was $250 and the Lucentis was $2,000 a shot. Of course, Medicare covered both. She had two shots of Avastin and two of Lucentis but as I said, the change from dry to wet macular degeneration wasn't caught soon enough for those to help. Not the doctor's fault, by the way. My mother wasn't always forthcoming about medical problems.
DeleteWow, the cost of the shot really threw me!
DeleteI kind of figured someone your mom's age wouldn't be running to the doctor all the time.
Wait, you super glued your eye?
ReplyDeleteYup. As my husband said as we left eye RE, "Only you could do that."
DeleteI was into furniture repair back then and I put the glue in a hole then I jammed a chair dowel into the hold and the glue splashed in my eye. Blinking caused the inside of the lid to get glued to the eyeball. Most painful thing I've ever done, right up there with passing a kidney stone. To this day, 40 years later, I never use glue of any kind without a good pair of safety glasses in place.
At eye ER they stocked a drop of some kind that un-glued Crazy Glue by brand name. It left a chemical burn but I was told it would heal and it wasn't until ten years later that the pucker on the macular was first noticed. Connected or not, I'm pretty sure of it.
Wow! That is a random accident. I wondered how you super glued your eye. Yikes. Safety glasses it is!
DeleteI have the puckered macula. It is pulling the retina from the back of my eye! Nothing was mentioned about a problem when I had cataracts removed. I have had the pucker for 30 years and had cataract surgery about 5 years ago. I have astigmatism, too. I did not realize the macular pucker was so rare.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you shared your experience! I actually asked the doctor about the pucker and how it factored into the cataract surgery so that might be the reason why I got so much information about it. I asked because my old doctor had mentioned it made the surgery "A little 'MORE INTERESTING."
DeleteOk, first thing...you super glued your eye? How did that even happen?
ReplyDeleteMy husband had his cataracts fixed years ago and was really surprised how much better he could see. He said he didn't think his eye sight had been so bad. I guess you just get used to it. So good luck with the surgery when you have it.
I just wrote about the super glue in a reply to 'Anonymous' up a little bit in this thread.
DeleteEveryone says that. I guess it happens so slowly that we do get used to it. Whenever I see older women with god-awful bright make up on thing they need cataract surgery. I've been afraid to wear any or paint for that reason for the past five years.
My husband's grandmother had her cataract surgeries when she was 90. We saw her at Christmas shortly afterward and she was wearing a beautiful sapphire blue dress we'd never seen before. When we complimented her on it, she said it had been hanging in her closet for years and she always thought it was an ugly gray...until she had her surgery. And she said now she could see the raindrops when it rained. So I guess it's never too late!
DeleteWow! That's quite of change from ugly gray to sapphire blue. I hope my color sense improved so I can knit and quilt and take up painting again with confidence.
DeleteDoggone it. Sorry you have to deal with macular pucker. I've never heard of that before. But when I read, "I crazy glued my eyeball to the inside of my eyelid..." I nearly dropped my laptop. Gosh Jean, I can't get past that. Surely that deserves a post of its own. There's never a dull moment, is there?! I, too, am glad you have other things to focus on (pun intended) while waiting for your procedure. When you mentioned missing your old doctor, it made me miss my old dentist. Years ago, when I started going to him, I thought he was a real gold digger because he was always doing dental crowns on me. Little did I know how wonderful his work was, because all but one of those crowns are still intact, at least 30 years later. I keep telling my oncologist (who happens to be at the tip top of my list of favorite doctors of all time) that he can never retire and must outlive me. You need lots of laughter at those appointments!
ReplyDeleteYou reminded me that my dentist retired, too, because of the pandemic! Mine was a good friend of my husband's so I was extra sorry to see him go and he was too young but he had a compromised immune system, so I don't blame him.
ReplyDeleteCheck the reply I wrote above to 'anonymous' about how I super-glued my eye shut.
You are one rare person! Wishing you great luck! No lifting for a few days!
ReplyDeleteI remember when you had your eyes done. You were/still are the only person I know who had trouble afterward.
DeleteI will have will two full weeks after move-in and to get settled in, get my house ready to turn over to the new owners and lift anything heavy. Little Levi would have had to go to a kennel during the no lift day. I still miss him but this is one situation where he would have been a complication.
Sorry to be adding my more than two cents worth, yet again. :) But since I worked for an eye doctor, I do have a few tales to tell. Lol.
DeleteOne of our patients lived across the street from my daughter. The lady was in her late 70s and pretty headstrong and determined. The doctor had told her no bending or lifting after her cataract surgery. A couple of days later I was at my daughter's and looked out the living room window to see the neighbor up on her roof cleaning leaves out of the gutter! I didn't rat her out to the doctor though. It didn't seem to cause any problems for her but I about had a heart attack just seeing her up there, cataract surgery or no cataract surgery.
I don't mind a bit, you're adding more onto this thread. Eye surgery or not I'd have a heart attack seeing a person old enough to have cataract surgery on a roof1. lol
DeleteJust read your super glue explanation. I cannot even imagine! If you got through that, you're going to sail right through this next surgery! You mentioned your dentist retiring early. Makes me wonder how many people have taken retirement due to Covid. A few weeks ago, I went to a new dentist who is young enough to be my grandchild. Not easy to transition, but I'll do my best to break him in!
ReplyDeleteAccording to my eye doctor quite a few doctors across the board are retiring early because of Covid. My new dentist, too, is young enough to be a grandchild. It seems so weird to have kids talking important things to us involves tools and stuff to cut into us. LOL
DeleteAnd I love your thought about 'if I can get through Crazy Gluing my eye shut I can get through anything'. I kind of wish I had a tee-shirt that says that.
I had cataracts surgery on both eyes four weeks apart. My right eye was done first and it was amazing how clear and clean my vision was - the left eye was like looking at a 'yellowed' world.
ReplyDeleteThey told me they always do the worst eye first, don't know why or if all doctors do it that way. Glad you are happy with the results!
DeleteThe doctor I worked for said they do the eye that is worse first so if there are any unforeseen problems, you still have vision in the better eye while the other is healing. Seems logical.
DeleteMy DH has a macular pucker, too. They check it every year, but it's been uneventful, thank goodness. They did tell him to watch for the signs of a retinal detachment (I forget what they are, but they were immediate and obvious when he told me), but he's been doing fine with it for years. He had both cataracts done and I think that's how they were discovered. I have an early stage cataract situation, but so far I can wait. Aging is such fun! LOL.
ReplyDeleteI go the same talk about signs of retinal detachment. You couldn't' miss the flashes of light I guess. My macular pucker was discovered when I couldn't read the center letter on an eye chart. I don't think a routine eye exam picks them up.
DeleteAlso, I am guessing from your description that we share the same retiring dermatologist, and I am not looking forward to the younger doc looking me over either. Horrors!
ReplyDeleteMe neither! If he gets his looks from his dad he'll be good looking with dark and eyes and really green at looking at old women's bodies. We'll probably ruin the poor young guy. LOL
DeleteI am glad I don't have eye problems
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you don't either.
DeleteI know what you mean about docs retiring. Mine is about my age, which means he could go whenever he wants. He's absoluely not allowed to do that! I hope all goes well. I'm not familiar with macreal puckers.
ReplyDeleteAll my retiring doctors were young enough thought they'd last until I died. I even switched from an older-ten-me skin doctor to go to one much younger. Guess which one is still practicing.
DeleteMy favorite ophthalmologist retired during the pandemic, too, when I most needed her! I loved her, too, but I can understand why she retired when she did. So much for you to handle in a year!
ReplyDeleteAfter reading a few comments here about getting shots in eyes, I'm a less concerned than I was when I wrote this.
DeleteI can see why dentists and eye doctors got scared about how close they have to share breathe space with patients.
But you glossed over,'Crazy Glued my eye ball to the inside of my eye lid' how the heck did you do that? OUCH!!
ReplyDeleteI was into furniture repair back then and I put the glue in a hole then I jammed a chair dowel into the hole and the glue splashed into my eye. Blinking caused the inside of the lid to get glued to the eyeball. Most painful thing I've ever done, right up there with passing a kidney stone. To this day, 40 years later, I never use glue of any kind without a good pair of safety glasses in place.
DeleteAt eye ER they stocked a drop of some kind that un-glued Crazy Glue by brand name. It left a chemical burn but I was told it would heal and it wasn't until ten years later that the pucker on the macular was first noticed. Connected or not, I'm pretty sure of it.
That is the wildest glue story I've ever heard. Although now that I think about it I can see how it could happen. I'm buying some safety glasses too. I've never heard of the macular pucker either. My cataract surgery was smooth sailing but I was really scared before. I guess cataract surgery, like most surgery, is one of those medical things we just hate to do.
ReplyDeleteMy glue story can't be all that unusual if eye ER stocks a solution for it. At least that's want I told myself. LOL
DeleteMy eye doctor said cataract surgery is one of the safest procedures in the world but if yours is the one in a million that goes wrong it really doesn't matter about what the others experienced. I didn't know what to do with that statement.
I've learned quite a bit about aging eyes and cataract surgery from reading your post and the comments. My eye doctor is watching my cataracts which she says are small. You have a lot going on, with cataract surgery and moving and I know you are a planner which will make things go smoother.
ReplyDeleteWhat I've learned about the surgery is there will be an annoying number of drops to I've myself daily for 4-5 weeks.
DeleteI don't envy you this surgery. Or anything that might happen after unless it's good stuff that happens, of course. I do enjoy your sense of humor: "On the good side if things do go horribly wrong maybe I can create my old doctor a painting for his collection." Way to keep life in perspective!
ReplyDeleteThanks. We have to keep looking for the silver linings or we'll never find them.
DeleteYou are sooooo funny! LOL I won't tell you my cataract story. Everyone is different. But I will say I just went back two years later for a slight "tune up". "These things happen...," they say. May the odds be ever in your favor, my friend. (Now I want to re-read the Hunger Games books and watch the movies again too!
ReplyDeleteI watch various 'Hunger Games' movies when they come on TV but the one book I read was disappointing. As I understand it, they were written for the teens so that might be why.
Delete"Tune up"? Aw man....!
My Dad had successful Cataract Surgery and the recovery was pretty swift too. Yours sounds more complicated than you probably wanted it to be, I'm sorry to hear that news, but it should go well and it's definitely better than going blind, so... there's that!
ReplyDeleteI just wasn't prepared to hear anything out of the ordinary when I had my pre-opt appointment. It was unsettling but I feel better about it now. Talked to a friend whose had a lot of shots in her eye and problems that finally straightened out.
DeleteSorry Jean, but piece of cake. Honestly. Go on, laugh. What else is there? To me you look like a person who is much given to laughter in the face of adversity.
ReplyDeleteI do eventually come around to laughing in the face of adversity but only after an short panic attack that leads to researching all angles and options. Among those options is where I find places to laugh before I find acceptance and lend into the reality of any given circumstance.
DeleteWhen I wrote this I was in the panic stage and thinking all my plans for painting, sewing, quilting would never happen after I move and why am I taking all those supplies with me?
Anything with my eyes would give me concern, too. I don’t blame you for having a Freakout Moment.
ReplyDeleteMe too. Just the thought of putting contacts in has always freaked me. And even though I've been practicing putting drops in since spring I sill miss as may times as I get them in.
DeleteAsk your eye doc about the combination drops ... out of pocket cost (I think $50) but then you have just one or two drops to put in each day. SOOOO worth it. And start hydrating your eyes. Preservative free eye drops as often as you remember! And now I think my implant is being recalled!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWow, no wonder you were/are having so much trouble! Thank you for the tips!
DeleteMy first cataract surgery was shortly after lens implants became viable. My Ophthal. Dr. gave me the requisite forms that, unfortunately, read this was at the trial stage. He later assured me the surgery was past that stage but he just hadn't bothered yet to change his forms. Nevertheless, I had cancelled my surgery and waited quite a while longer before I went forward with the procedure. Having seen my mother experience vision issues unrelated to cataracts, but undiagnosed, confounding her doctors, ultimately becoming legally blind, I've always been very sensitive to anything associated with my eyes. Yes, my two separate cataract surgeries were "a piece of cake" but I certainly do appreciate your apprehension and not wishing to be bombarded with the phrase I just wrote. Ha! Sorry!
ReplyDeleteThe idea of a "pucker" is intriguing. You seem never to do things just simply, often seem to have complicating factors -- but not due to your own fault. You've been very adept at adapting to these unanticipated situations so you will this time and the surgery will go well. The surgeries and lens choices seem to have evolved quite a bit from when I had mine as I read about what others describe now.
I've lucked out as my first woman Dr., younger than me, is my Dermatologist. Hopefully, she'll last longer than I do. My GP, unfortunately, died so I've ended up with a younger guy -- oh, well!
There is no point in nor cataract surgery. It's mostly paid for by medicare and insurance and everyone will go blind without it.
Delete