Three Old Coots

I was waiting for the elevator when the door opened and a man stepping off. “Darn it,” I said, “I forgot my mask!” “Do you have Covid?” he asked.  “No, but we’re supposed to have them on in the public areas.” Ignoring my statement he said, “Me neither.” Then he added “as soon as the Democrats are out of office, Covid will be gone.” “Do you really believe that?” I replied. “I sure do. It’s all a made up illusion.” Chalk him up on the list of people I don’t want to get to know better here. He was not wearing a mask and didn’t have one in his hand, the old coot! The Democrats sure have a lot of power if we can cause people around the globe to mask up and wait in lines for vaccinations and hold memorial services for people who voluntarily died to help make an illusion look real. Bless their hearts. Call me Hard-Hearted Hannah but I won’t care if he gets Covid as long as he doesn’t give to others here at the Continuum Care Campus. It’s people like him who have politicized the pandemic that have kept it going for so long. 

And, yes, I’m the same person who recently wrote about my sister-in-law who was as sweet and caring a person you could ever know but she, too, jumped on the Trump Train, designation: Conspiracy City. Doesn’t matter, Old Coot could be just like her but I’ll have to see that in an swore affidavit signed by a hundred of his closest family and friends that he’s a stellar person of sound mind and character before I’ll cut him any slack. Yes, the Hard-Hearted Hannah side of my personality is busting at the seams to get out and be heard today.

Speaking of old coots, Bing the Scottish singer got himself in a bit of trouble on a night when I was wasn’t down at the cafe' for dinner. I didn’t write about it when it happened a few weeks ago but last night I saw him repeat what he did so now I have a better understanding of why he got reported to the CEO with a demand that he be kicked out for trying to kiss one of the ladies who lives here. Last night the Art Professor did exactly what I’d been thinking should have been done in that situation. She turned her head deflected the incoming kiss so it ended up on the side of her head instead of on her mouth and she grabbed his hands and wished him a good night and they both went their merrier way. I’d seen the speech pathology professors at the college---where my husband was a guinea pig for the students---teach that grab-the-hands technique to redirect a hug or kiss from stroke survivors who often have to relearn impulse control. There were several in Don’s group class (including him) who had that issue of wanting to hug in inappropriate situations and when they did, it became a teachable moment for both client, student and us wives watching from behind the one-way window.

The first time Bing tried to kiss a fellow resident from all reports she went ballistic, made quite the scene and from her own lips I knew she’d filed a complaint to the CEO. I didn’t see it happen so I didn’t voice my opinion at the time but I was thinking that a woman in our age bracket should be able to deflect an unwanted kiss without running to a higher power. He walks at the speed of a two-toed sloth, How hard could be to get away from the guy? 

The CEO told her he couldn’t do anything about it. We all own our apartments, they can’t kick us out. His daughter got called, though, and the bar started limiting him to two drinks with dinner. The woman who reported him followed up her complaint with two weeks of "warning others of his bad behavior" and last night she stared daggers at him across the table. It’s a good thing she left before he tried to kiss the Art Professor or who knows what she might had done or said. The drama might have made good blog fodder but life is better without it. By the way, don’t mis-read me and think I believe it’s okay to hug and kiss a woman of any age if she doesn’t want it. I don’t. But blowing things out of all proportion happens, too.

In the movie, Queen Bees which Roger Ebert.com describes as “a gentle romantic comedy set in a retirement community that one character describes as ‘Mean Girls' with Medic-Alert bracelets’" there is a male character who spends his evenings with a different lady every night. It portrays several of the female characters as Blanche type sex-pots (Golden Girls) looking for Mr. Right Now. Ohmygod, there is nothing going on here on this campus that remotely looks like the way older people are showcased in that movie. 

At least that’s what I would have said before Saturday night when one of the guys living here had invited seven ladies to dinner at the fine dining restaurant, his treat. He made the reservation under the name of “The Magnificent Seven” and it was weird being asked by the host if you were apart of the Magnificent Seven. Five us were not and we were seated off to the side and we nicknamed ourselves the Fabulous Five. 

In the same time frame T-Shirt Tom was teasingly asked if he was going to treat a table of women to dinner and he said, “No, I’d be afraid I’d leave someone out and they’d get their feelings hurt.” Who said lawyers can’t be thoughtful. It was hard not to feel a little left out since those in the group of seven and the five other ladies usually all sit at one big singles table. If it hadn’t been for the guy making the reservation under such a pretentious name would it have been different? I think so. Both sets of woman looked like deer caught in headlights each time the host asked someone if they were part of the Magnificent Seven. 

Old Coots. Are they worth the trouble they cause just by being themselves? Why yes, yes they are---if for no other reason than their antics make good fodder for bloggers. ©