This post was written a few days before my second surgery for carpal tunnel and trigger thumb that took place on October 17th. I was thinking this one would be the easier of the two surgeries because I know what to expect. With my dominate hand done first I thought it would be a piece of cake but I just realized that holding a computer mouse with a splint on my hand will not be possible for the first week where with my other hand in a splint I could still type with a few fingers tips. Plus I'm going into this surgery with a great deal of pain from a frozen elbow and shoulder that I'll have to deal with as soon as possible. So expect shorter replies to comments made on this and the next pre-written and scheduled posts coming up which also means if anything exciting happens in my life between now and, say, October 26th you won't be hearing about it. (Like how much excitement could happened to an 80 year old?)
One of the things that will happen before I get back to real time posting is my brother is moving into the Memory Care building here on campus tomorrow. Exciting for me and his kids but, of course, it will be hard on him. When they told him he was moving, my youngest niece asked, "Do you remember when you visited Aunt Jean and you said you like her place...?" And my brother got upset and shouted, "I'm not living with my sister!" So I guess I'll have to let him get settled into his own building before I can walk down the road to visit. The family was told it takes new residents a month before they finally settle in and know the move is permanent. But I'm dying to see his freshly painted and carpeted room and his view.
Our Memory Care program has won state awards and his building has the same view overlooking the lake and the woods in full color now. It's a bit of a drive for his kids to visit but this CCComplex is in an area where they all come to shop the near-by malls and visit specialists. (The main reason I picked it in the first place.) He'll be living just one buildings away from me so I'm sure I'll get to see everyone more often than I do now. I'm excited for me but sad for him even though it truly is the right time for him to transition out of living alone. His kids have done a wonderful job of bringing in help to keep him safe at home for as long as they did, but those of us who've been in that situation knows how draining that can be.
And now on to the writing group: As I suspected would happen, Chatty Catty who took dictation from God for the songs she produced, didn't come back so we are down to four of us and we are all a good fit for getting along. Ms. Angel couldn't make this meeting because she had a last minute spiritual consultation but recently she's written and read publicly two poems---one at our anniversary party and one at our monthly Resident Dialogue in lieu of reading an opening prayer---so we know the quality of her work and she's excited about writing more. Mr. Graphic Artist brought six poems to read---five older one and one new one he just finished and he thinks this group is helping to get back into writing. When he moved here, like me, he thought he'd be spending all his time writing and doing art which didn't happen for him (or me)---just too many activities to get involved in.
Ms. Librarian blew us away by reading twenty pages of a novel she wrote since our last meeting. It's set in 1940 in a French Convent. It's good, it's really GOOD but far over the 1,000 word limit we'd set for our readings. We had that same issue in another writing group I was in and the facilitator didn't say anything about it, so neither did I. None of our Group's guidelines are set in stone and as long as we can get everyone's readings into our meetings I guess it won't matter.
I brought in a rather sad poem I wrote about our Memory Care building here on campus and copy of one of my favorite, funny blog posts from my caregiver days as a sample of what my past writing style was like. I ended the meeting with asking everyone their writing goals for the coming month and I reading from a the book, A Year of Writing Dangerously; 365 Days of Inspiration and Encouragement. All and all it went great. We had some interesting conversations generated from our readings and we are all committed to keeping creative writing on our front burners, so to speak. We also hoped to get one more person in the group and we thought we had her but the Activities Calendar overlapped our group with Line Dancing and she's really into that, so she had to choose. Hopefully, that won't happen next month. ©
I'm happy your group is going so well, and I hope you recover from your surgeries quickly. If your brother has to go into a Memory Care unit I'm glad you're close by.
ReplyDeleteI'm relieved the writing group went well. Me too n my brother. My nieces and 3 nephews (two my marriage) will still have challenges ahead getting his house ready to sell.But thye all work together well.
DeleteI hope that your carpal tunnel surgery is giving you less pain and trouble with each passing day. To think you're dealing with it, in addition to shoulder and elbow challenges, sounds rough. It's just wonderful that your brother will be moving nearby! I know these decisions are not easy for families, but the center sounds like a wonderful solution for him. Sounds like the writing group is coming together well. Anything that helps people to focus and hone their abilities is worth the time and effort. Take good care of yourself, Jean. Hoping for a quick recovery for you! BTW, I saw that parts of Michigan got snow...was that your area? Brrrr
ReplyDeleteThe snow as not near here but we got cold even to snow. biggest issue is no sleeve fit over the hand dressing so I'm in summer blouses and too cold! Pain I had before surgery is totally gone! Like a miracle.
DeleteI'm glad your brother will be close. I suspect it will be good for him, once he settles in, and it's great that you'll have a chance to see other family members more often. I'm glad you're pleased with this second meeting of your group. The fellow's right -- having a group like this can be useful for getting back in the writing groove.
ReplyDeleteI can get a little competitive in group classes so I know the writing group will inspire me to step up my game. If it were summer coming I could stop by daily for a brief visit, take my brother out side on their deck over looking the lake. But I won't walk on winter sidewalks we'll see how it all pans out. I'm just happy it will give his kids relief to the caregiver sprial they've been on for two years.
DeleteWell, first of all -- please take care as you heal. I hope the surgery went well and that it's just a matter of getting it all back together again. But that shoulder/elbow thing sounds pretty miserable and I'm sorry you have to contend with that as well as everything else right now. So, hang in. (And don't worry about a reply -- if I have a specific question I'll email you but save your fingers for when you need them!)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your brother will be close at hand, though I'm sorry it has to be the memory care unit into which he is moving. But he will be safe there and I think it will be good to see you. Don't they say we remember the oldest memories longest? So you may well be able to share some wonderful childhood and youth things when together.
Having a limit for reading is good -- but with only four people, you can probably let a few things slide and modify if more people join. I love that you are leading this!
I asked my niece if the doctor manipulated my frozen shoulder and elbow during surgery because that day I started out with a 7 out 10 pain and ended the day with 0 pain. She as sitting in his office when I sent the text for shoulder injury of her own and he said no he didn't but he'd seen it before where losing up those carpal tunnel nerves can up other chronic or reoccurring pain. I thought for sure I'd be begging for an appointment this week for a cortisone shot and a new
Deletex-ray. I really thought I broke something new in the failed surgery area (not his work). When I go get the stitches out I'm still going to ask for an xray because I got sick to m stomach after a sharp snap of pain in the area where the screws have backed out around my elbow.
It is nice that you will be close to your brother to help him adapt to this move. And to get to see his children more is an added bonus for you. I am sorry that your brother has reached this stage but glad he has this option available to keep him safe.
ReplyDeleteHow nice that your writing group is getting along so well. It will be a nice inspiration for all of you involved.
Hope your recovery from surgery goes smoothly and quickly! And you get relief for your frozen elbow and shoulder.
See above comments on frozen arm. It's vanished like a miracle. My brother is only 3 years older than me and he's in one of the buildings where I could end up with in this complex if I skipped over assisted living first so not only could I be helping him to adapt I will be helping myself get used to the lay of the land inside those buildings. I've been to joint parties with the residents of both places but only outside in their fenced in park. For me, knowing the future possibilities takes some of the fear away.
DeleteThat was me posting as anonymous. Forgot to check. By the way mouse holding isn't as hard as I though it would be with this ball of dressing.
DeleteIt is so good that your brother will be close--for both of you. Hope his period of adjustment goes well for him.
ReplyDeleteAlso hope your recovery is ahead of schedule. I had a fear of frozen shoulder when I hurt mine and know they can be so painful. Hope you have access to PT for that and your elbow. Of course first get that hand healed.
Glad your writing group has whittled down to such interesting people. Besides putting a bug in the bonnet for people to write, I found mine to be really mentally stimulating. Kind of miss it as we eventually lost membership as people moved or passed.
I have a cheap tens machine that helped a lot with the shoulder/elbow pain the weekend before the hand surgery but I'm going to see if he'll write me a prescription for a better one. Neither one of us want to do that elbow surgery over again at my age and he offered me tens therapy 4 years ago. It was like a miracle the frozen shoulder and elbow went away on its own but I would put t past the doctor to have manipulated it back in place while I was under and not admit is so it doesn't get charged. He's like that, It he wants a test or ex-ray insurance won't cover, he pays for it. He speared headed the building a large surgical center because the local hospitals wanted to start stocking one-size-fits-all joint parts instead of letting the surgeons order what they thought was best for their patients. I even went there for my cataract surgeries.
DeleteI hope that in time, visits with your brother are pleasant.
ReplyDeleteGood heavens, a twenty-page reading?! That's an awful lot to insist upon sharing. And not truly equitable for those who are sharing poems, even if someone shared six (which also sounds like quite a lot). I wonder if your writing group isn't turning into a showcase rather than a true writer's workshop group.
It was only our second meeting, so I'm thinking we have a lot to work through to set limits, I gave everyone the web address to our local library that had an excellent blog about how to start a writing group and if they read it it will help. How ever it evolves we had some interesting conversations about what was read....not true critiques but I figure we'll can work up to that as we get to know each other better.
DeleteWow, it is wonderful that your shoulder and elbow pain is gone and I hope it stays that way. Ongoing pain is so exhausting. It sounds like your brother's family is doing really well by him and it will be lovely for you to see them and him more often. Take care.
ReplyDeleteI got to see his room today! He comes tomorrow!
DeleteWell, it sounds like the surgery went well and the shoulder pain being gone is an added bonus. Hope it holds!
ReplyDeleteTwenty pages is a lot in a writing group, but I can see that with four members, you would want to be flexible.
We can be flexible until we grow more and her story was fantastic!
DeleteHaving someone close who can be relied on is a plus
ReplyDeleteIt sure is! One of the reasons I moved, because I didn't have anyone.
DeleteI hope you are soon healing from this last surgery and that your shoulder and elbow continue to heal, too. What a lot you have going on, with your brother's imminent arrival on one part of the campus, too.
ReplyDeleteI've belonged to many writing groups since the late 80's. The ones that worked best were those that sorted out some basic rules. I applaud you, as it seems as if you're using the initial meetings as a gauge of what should be considered. The last group to which I belonged had swollen to about fifteen to twenty members at each meeting. It was run by an autocrat of a man who kept us moving forward and adhering to rules. It wouldn't have been workable otherwise, but it seems you can live with more leniency with your group, within reason. I wouldn't go into the next meeting demanding everyone adhere to the rules about length, but at some point, a discussion of what has been working and what hasn't might include that. At our meetings, the person doing the reading would print up copies of pages that didn't fit into the cut for those who wanted to read more on their own. Hope your brother is doing well as he adjusts.
DeleteWe're already in agreement that if we get more than seven members we're break into two reading groups. I think we have to play it by ear in the beginning. The one with the 20 pages said she's inspired to try her hand at poetry and if she does, that will solve the issue.
You’ve said so many really great things about your ccc, but never told us what organization does such a great job running it. Could you do that without giving too much away I wonder?
ReplyDeleteThe United Methodist Church has been the backbone of this place since 1909 running as a non-profit all these years. They have two campus's in town and huge corporate endowments come in. Just a few months ago they announced they are going into partnership with another faith based place like this that is bigger and has their base in Indiana and they have Baptist roots. Residents here are leery about they change because they want to expand to other states. (Bigger is not necessarily better.) This place is totally run non-denominational and supposedly they other place wants to be all inclusive as they grow.
DeleteI'm writing this three days after your surgery, so I hope that it went well and I wish you speedy healing.
ReplyDeleteIt's doing well. Dressing comes off today then a week in a splint.
DeleteI hope the second surgery went well and you are recovering comfortably, Jean. A 1000 word limit makes sense, but maybe the rule can be ignored if the group is/remains small.
ReplyDeleteDeb
Thanks. A little more painful and frustrating but nothing I can't handle.
DeleteMy mind! Only attached to my person by a thread! I read the blog when it first was posted (I'm three hours behind you so 10pm my time). Usually I give myself a day to think it over, then visit the next day to comment .... so when I came back to the blog today to read comments, I was shocked that I never posted! OOOPS! Now I just want to say heal quickly and I agree usually bigger is NOT better.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteI do Hope your Brother's Transition goes well and it's great he'll be nearby so you can spend time together when it is possible and he is ready to receive it. I know for my Mom, Transition took about a full Year but then she was so Happy with her Placement that when we'd come to visit, she was missing out of the Activities and eager to rejoin her groups and cut our Visits short. *LOL* That made us all very happy, since we could see she had a Routine that stimulated her, new Friends she enjoyed, and lots to look forward to, even as she declined with her physical Health and Dementia, it was the best time for her to be where she was. Always hard to make that decision FOR someone, I'm glad you made it for yourself and that you found the right place where you knew you'd enjoy Life fully at this Season of it. Glad the Creative Writing Group is doing so well now that those attending gel so well.
ReplyDeletePS: Hope your 2nd Surgery and the Healing from it goes smoothly and you'll be back to Blogging as you like to. I Hate it when I can't Blog.
ReplyDeleteI typed tomorrow's post! It took more time but my fingers work!
DeleteHaving family visit more often will be wonderful, won't it? I hope your brother settles in smoothly. It's hard. I watched my mom have to move twice. You are brave to start that writers group. It is normal for a core group to emerge as others drop away. It sounds like everyone is committed. Good for you! I see in a previous comment that your fingers are working after your surgery. YAY!
ReplyDeleteThe jury is still out on whether or not it was a good thing starting a writing group but I'm committed through to the end of the year when I'll reevaluate.
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