Fashion Police on Duty

A shirt-tail relative on my husband’s side of the family got married. I’ve only met his bride once but I’ve seen plenty of photos of the couple online and in all of them she looked like a pretty and wholesome young lady. But as a bride she put her porn star sized breasts on full display in her wedding gown…if you could call it a wedding gown. It looked like it was the sheer lace outer layer of a wedding dress meant to be worn over a silk under layer. Underneath she wore black bikini panties and barely there, black self-adhesive pads for a bra. I don’t shock easily and I’m not a prude but that choice for a wedding dress to be worn in a Catholic church in front to 200 guests made me feel cringe. What was she thinking!

Being in the wedding business for twenty years, I’ve seen a ton of bridal gowns but never one like this. Granted they were all in the past century and I expect fashions to change, but is sexy the new look girls are going for these days on the presumably most important day of their lives? She is a college student, responsible for her own choices but you would have thought someone with influence over her would have knocked some sense into her. Her bridesmaids worn black velvet formal gowns that covered all but their arms as did both mothers of the bride and groom. The men in the wedding party were in black tuxes and black bow ties. All very formal and tasteful until your eyes catch the outline of the bride's underpants and black nipple pads. Had I gone through the receiving line I would not have been able to tell the bride she looked beautiful. Would you have? Am I getting too old and judgmental in my Fashion Police uniform?

The last time I donned my Fashion Police uniform was a few years ago at a high school graduation party. Before the party I couldn’t have picked the graduate out of a line up but her grandmother said the girl is “sweet inside and out.” At one point during the party she was standing with a group of friends, looking pretty with her long black hair falling half way down her backless-to-the-waist dress, the hemline of its circle skirt hitting her mid-thigh when a breeze came up and exposed her entire buttock, as bare as the day she was born. My mouth dropped up and I looked at the people sitting near me for validation that I was seeing what I saw. My shock must have shown on my face because without me saying a single word her aunt said, “I saw it earlier. She’s wearing a thong made out of dental floss.” It must have been nude colored dental floss because I couldn’t see it that time or during the other opportunities that came up later to look. (It was a windy day.) Another one of her aunts said she wouldn’t let her daughter wear a thong like that and I was having a hard time reconciling the label of “sweet inside and out” with a girl who must have felt the hot sun and wind on her bare butt and didn’t have enough decorum to go inside to put on some proper underwear. 

Fashions sure have changed since my young adulthood. We had tiny pins we used to make sure our bra and slip straps didn’t slide down our arms to show. We didn't worry about our pantie lines showing because we didn't wear skirts and trousers as tight as a second layer of skin . Hems lines on skirts had to be mid-calf and we weren’t allows to wear slacks to classes in either high school in the fifties or to college in the early ‘60s. Then the Sexual Revolution came long, thanks to the invention of The Pill, and chastity and modesty took a sucker punch. 

Fast forward to 2023 and I found an article in The A Magazine about a survey on the sexualization of clothing and one of the women replied with: “The problem isn’t what we are wearing, it’s how we are perceived because of it…it’s just not an invitation to treat them any differently. What we wear doesn’t define how much respect we deserve.” In another part of the article it says, Many of the women answering the survey "shared that they have been told by older men and even family members that they are ‘asking for it’ because of certain clothing items.” The article goes on to say, “Clothing is a way of expressing yourself and feeling confident, it’s not fair that women should feel they have to dress a certain way to feel safe around people.” 

Rant on: And here's the difference in attitude between myself and the young women who think that way and go around showing their nearly bare butts and breasts in public. They don’t seem to understand that their fashion choices ARE sexy as hell so why are they surprised when they are perceived as sexy and looking for that kind of attention? Half naked young women need to acknowledge that if they choose to prance around showing their lady parts they should be prepared to be judged a certain way, just as they’d be judged a certain way if they wore a nun’s habit. If you wear a cute little tennis outfit and walk around with a racket in your hand, people are going to assume you play tennis. If you wear a tailored suit and heels they're going to assume you're upper management in an office. See how that works? After all, to quote their mantra, “Clothing is a way of expressing yourself.”  Rant off. © 

Disclaimer: I know sexual harassment is a real thing. So please don't tell me that women should have the right to flaunt their wares however and wherever she wants. I'm not saying that they don't. I'm saying women have the right BUT along with that right should come some common sense to dress for the occasion.