Privacy

 

 "Privacy is not about hiding something. It's about being able to control how we present ourselves to the world." 

Bruce Schneier

Let’s talk privacy. What’s too much? What’s too little? Does it matter who controls your privacy or lack there of? What do you do when you are overwhelmed and need more privacy or on the flip side, you are lonely and longing for a conversation with someone other than a supermarket cashier?

My privacy was just invaded by city inspectors on a mission to find faulty overhead sprinklers in our independent living apartment buildings. I have twelve overhead sprinkler in my 1,000 square foot unit and this was our second, annual inspection. At least the two inspectors and the maintenance man didn’t stay long. They look to make sure no one had painted them or damaged them and in my case last year they made me move some stuff off the top shelf in the closet that was too close to a sprinkler head. Someone else said they had one that fell off the ceiling when it was inspected and they wrote up a maintenance request ASAP. We were told they’d start on the top floor and work their way down to the first floor where I live, but I’ve learned by experience that that rarely ever happens when they do mass maintenance projects. I’m the first apartment in the first building and inspectors and outside contractors seem to be programmed to start with me. This matters because even if I wasn’t home, they will let them in. Even if I was home and in the shower or on the toilet or getting dressed, they’d let themselves in. I don’t fall for that trick anymore. I’m up and dressed at an ungodly hour and am glad to have it over with by the time I’d normally be rolling out of bed. 

Last week it was our annual fire alarms testing and that day is dreaded by one and all, especially for people with pets, who have learned to ship them off to daycare or a groomer until the day over. The week before that it was our annual smoke alarms that got inspected which is time consuming. They have a smoke creator thingy on a long pole that they hold up over the smoke alarms and thank goodness they know how to keep the smoke away from the sprinkler heads. Other mass maintenance projects include them coming around to replace batteries. We have them in our key locks, our hand-free kitchen faucets and the thermostats. Another mass maintenance day has the maintenance department changing the filters in our dishwashers, washing machine and a hidden one in our clothes driers---no one knew they have two! Our furnace filters they can change from the hallway. With all the above maintenance and inspection days we’re told in our morning emails a few days ahead and today’s email announced we can’t use our clothes washer or dish washer next Wednesday morning because our boilers are getting inspected. I can see why they do all this stuff in October---because that’s when we all moved in---but really wish they’d spread them out more. Keeping my place spic-and-span for so many weeks on end makes me feel like I live on a sound stage, like someone at any moment could yell, “Action!” and the place must look perfect.

Having lived in single family homes my entire life, it’s a two-edged sword having no control over inspection dates and maintenance workers. Some people do try by making sure their apartments are tagged on their records as DO NOT ENTER WITHOUT THE RESIDENT PRESENT! And it sends out a message that you don't trust them. But all that does is put your maintenance requests lower down on the list. My record is listed as, “Don’t enter before 11:00 without calling ahead” but our guys often ignore that and apologize for forgetting to call. The other edge of the sword is having a maintenance department that takes care of stuff. What ever happens, they can and will fix it---from unplugging toilets to hanging pictures to putting IKEA furniture together to getting your WiFi connected.

This is a long wind up to the topic of lack of privacy that happens down in the Assisted Living or Memory Care buildings. My brother complains about not having any privacy and who can blame him. The way the rooms are set up your back is to the door whether you’re in bed of sitting in your La-Z-Boy and every half hour the staff comes in to check on him---all day long and at night. Assisted Living and Memory Care residents can’t take walks or sit outside alone and they eat most of their meals together, only eating in their rooms if they don’t feel well or there is Covid in the building. When my brother talks about moving it’s the lack of privacy and lack of control over his comings and goings that is at the heart of his unhappiness. 

But I’m not in Memory Care or Assisted Living now so I try to resist borrowing trouble from the future which has been a life-long flaw of mine that I’ve tried turning into a silk purse. (The pig’s ear thing into a silk purse? I guessing you have to be old to know that idiom.) Instead of owning up to borrowing trouble I tell myself I’m a long range planner and trouble shooter and I’ve already decided I need to buy a privacy, divider screen to dress behind for if and when I get moved on down the line to the Assisted Living or Memory Care building. Or is up the line? It would be down in terms of losing personal freedoms and up the line for the amount of care I’d need. Either way I have eleven months to enjoy my inspection-free privacy and I was going to celebrate that today....and then I turned on the world news. How silly my 'privacy post' seems, now, given how many people no longer have homes or ways to protect them from the horrors of war.

Until Next Wednesday. ©

* Is anyone else having trouble with google.com not allowing you to upload photos? I keep getting a message that I need to turn on my cookies. If you see a picture at the top I was able to figure it out after a week of trying.