Techno Overload, La-Z-Boys and Old People Woes

For the past 23 months the only times I’ve sat in the living room was when I had company.  Last week I decided to make the room my own and to take over Don’s La-Z-Boy. I swapped his chair and my uncomfortable chair around, giving me more light to read by and to use my laptop while watching TV. I moved a steamer trunk in to use as a side-table in my new sitting space. It wasn’t wheelchair friendly to have it in the room when Don was alive and it’s been down in the basement since we moved in. I’ve owned the trunk since my teens and it was like greeting an old friend to haul it upstairs. It’s not quite the right color for the room but I threw a quilt sampler over it and the trunk will do until I can refinish it.

That night as I settled down to watch a movie in my newly claimed room the dog was having a fit and wouldn’t stop barking. He usually just stares when he needs to go outside but I thought maybe he was having a “body function” emergency so I vacated the chair and quickly headed for the back door. Levi had other plans. The little snot jumped in the La-Z-Boy I had just vacated and curled himself up for a nap. Levi has been using the La-Z-Boy since Don passed away and I guess he thought he had ownership. Poor baby. We had a little talk and I explained the principle of change and moving on and that he would have to use the davenport from now on. It’s going to take time. Levi is a stubborn dog but I put my foot down about me being the “alpha dog” in the house and if he wants to continue enjoying heat, electric and kibble in his dish he’ll have to comply. Widow's work never seems ends, does it.

Last Friday the cable guy was here all afternoon to install a bundle the includes WiFi, on-demand/HD TV, internet and cable phone---it was one of the reasons for the living room remade, the other being the new bundle is actually going to save me $100 a month to get rid of my old land-line phone and 4G service on my laptop. But all this new tech stuff had my aging brain in overload mode.  Voice mail replaced my old answer machine. Whoopee doo.  Learning how to program this, that and the other thing plus use the apps on my first smart phone and keep them all straight wore me right out. But worst of all is the new remote for on-demand/high definition TV in the living room. It has 57 buttons, replacing a remote with just ten.

Two hours after the cable guy left I had to call customer service because I couldn’t remember how to turn the darn TV on and off---it takes a three button sequencing. The agent on the phone insisted he needed the serial number off the back of the HD box so he could send a ping and he got a little snippy with me when I told him the number wasn’t where he told me it was supposed to be. I bit my tongue to keep from asking him if he talks to his grandmother in that tone of voice. Instead, I hung up, called again to get a different agent who sent a ping without even asking for a serial number. I knew, of course, that a ping wasn’t going to solve my issue but they have their procedure to follow before listening to their customers. When I finally got it through to her that I just needed to be told which buttons to push in what order on the remote, I felt like I was taking part in an Abbot and Costello comedy routine. “Who’s on first?” “Who.” “That’s what I want to know! Who’s on first?” Gone are the days of just walking up to a TV, turning a nob and it works. The installer said all TVs in their cable service will be required to have HD boxes next summer, that everything is going to high definition broadcasting. Oh goodie.

When my dad was in the early stages of Alzheimer’s my brother and I got more calls about his TV remote than anything else. We got so frustrated by having to straighten out his TV that my brother finally put the TV on a timer and I used bits of card-stock to cover over all the buttons he didn’t need and that kept getting him into trouble.  And therein lies the source of my current depression Doctor Freud. Between getting a techno overload and missing the Red Hat party last week because I was afraid to drive in the snow, I’m feeling old and obsolete. Heck, I want to be like the woman in the cartoon up above! I want to feel like I can be tech-savvy enough to embrace whatever comes along.

Today I was supposed to go to another party, at the senior hall, but this time instead of pouting about getting snowed-in I took a look at the long-range weather forecast then I called my niece-in-law and invited her to lunch at the sculpture garden on Saturday.  They have an exhibit of Christmas trees decorated in the traditional customs of 40 counties and I’m excited about seeing it. So wish me luck that the weather forecasters got it right here in West Michigan this the weekend. I need to get out of the funk I’m in! ©