Back in 1963 I had a picture on my college room bulletin board that was torn out of a magazine. It showed a young woman sitting in a tree swing and the caption read, “Life is perfect even when it’s not.” It was an advertisement for sanitary pads. Today if you google the phrase it gives Ellen Degeneres credit in a meme for saying, “My life is perfect even when it’s not.” She was born in 1965 so I suppose her parents could have kept a copy of that magazine until she was old enough to read it and adapt a version of it as her personal mantra. No matter how it happened that magazine ad was inspirational enough for me to keep the page until recently when I moved. In my google search I came across a soft cover book of blank pages with those words on the cover. Amazon has one listed today at $6.99.
The trouble with those kinds of books is I’m afraid to write in them and mess them up. My nephew gave me a thick book of handmade paper pages with a real leather cover for Christmas and talk about being intimidated, that book sure does it to me. I looked it up on Amazon and it cost him $34 which makes it even more of a challenge to find the right purpose for that book. I could sketch or paint in it, paste quotes I love in it or fill it with original "Jean-isms." It could be a scrapbook or diary or I could carry it around and look arty-farty doing it. Whatever I end up doing with it, it’s giving me lots of fodder for dreaming. It’s sitting in my office and making me feel guilty that I haven’t settled on what to use it for yet.
I thought of that "life is perfect" phrase this morning because I’m having plumbing problems. It started when one of my toilets wouldn’t flush no matter how much I used a plunger on it. Maintenance came yesterday and tried it but he couldn’t get it unplugged either and said he’d be back in the morning to snake it out. The CCC’s rule is if you only have one toilet you will get same day service, but if you have two they may take two days. Overnight the toilet in my half bath wouldn’t flush either. Fortunately my apartment is close to the fitness room and there is a public bathroom right around the corner from my apartment door but even that one started acting up by morning.
The lead maintenance man was here first thing in the morning and said, “I’m afraid this is going to be a long ordeal.” Oh, goodie, to pee I had to walk to the next building. But you know what, in the grand scheme of things it didn't meet my Litmus Test to qualify for a disaster---an inconvenience, yes, but a disaster is having your entire bathroom lost to a tornado, flood or fire. Life is still perfect, even when it’s not. And I really like talking with the maintenance man so there’s that for the bonus round. A half hour after he got here two other guys showed up---one to deal with the gray water that suddenly started flowing out of my furnace room. (It opens into the hallway and not my into apartment, thank goodness). The other guy was from a 911 plumbing service of some kind and he was on the phone with the city getting advice to relay to our maintenance men. They couldn't use the connection in the basement to snake out the pipes because the sewage was backed up above it thus they had to do it from the first toilet on the line. Mine. I'm SO lucky I didn't end up with raw sewage from the entire building in my apartment.
My dad was a glass-half-full kind of guy. There wasn’t anything bad that happened in our lives that he couldn’t come up with something worse that could have happened, something to put things in perspective. Life is perfect, even when it’s not fit right in with the philosophy my dad lived by. The worse a problem is the more I unpack of my dad's glass-half-full perspective so I was calm and laid back the entire time the men were working on the sewer line.
My mom has been on my mind lately, too, because she died forty years ago this week, on an Easter Sunday. I usually have to look up her death date because I always associate it with Easter which, or course changes every year. Remember me writing a week or two back that I wasn’t sure if I was experiencing mild depressed from the broken ribs? It finally dawned on me that the first two weeks of April (and days leading up to the month) always puts me in a melancholy mood. My mom and dad’s anniversary falls in that time frame as well as Don’s and my anniversary and our birthdays. My brother’s birthday, too. And because Easter is never on the same date as my mom dying it seems like I have two death dates to reflect on her. If the past is any indication of the future as soon as the middle of the month passes my emotions will change, like shedding a winter coat and welcoming in the warmth of spring.
In the meantime you would not believe the flood that was in my hallway and our whole building was within one minute of having the water shut off any purpose and everyone forbidden to use their toilets. The email announcement was typed when the clog broke up and the water shut-off was canceled. They had to snake it out almost to the street before they found the plugged up place so this was a long time coming. After that, they could access the connection to the sewer line in the basement to sent a camera down the line to look for the reasons why it clogged in the first place. But first they put my toilet back together and thoroughly cleaned up after themselves. Apparently my apartment is the bellwether for all sewer and water related issues in the building, being the first one on the line. (Remember the milky colored water I had last fall?)
By lunch time they were packing up their tool cart and power equipment/snake and I left to go to the cafe` in the other building. When I sat down a man across the table, who lives in that building, he asked how my day was going so I gave him the thumbnail version. And not unexpectedly he said, "You need to sue this place!" "Why?" I replied. "They dealt with the problem quickly enough. No harm, no foul." Don't we all know people like him? People who think when something goes wrong it's someone's fault and they should get paid for any inconvenience they experienced. I'd say I feel sorry for Mr. Sue-Happy's wife but she the same way. Nothing is ever perfect in their lives, even when it is. ©
Life IS perfect ~ even when it's not. I love having the memories, happy and sad. April and May are eventful months for me. May 2 marks TEN YEARS since Mr. Ralph left. Toilet troubles scare me ... we grew up with a septic tank that didn't get cleaned out as often as it should. Many overflows to deal with. I just learned the two different kinds of plungers ... one for sinks and tubs and the other for toilets. Every day I learn something new! Which helps make my life perfect, even when it's not!
ReplyDeleteI learned that about the plungers recently too. But I don't remember where I heard it. TV maybe? Living in an apartment for the first time and being on the bottom floor I worried sewage from up above could end up in my toilets but I guess they aren't on the same line---learned that this week. But now I have to worry about blockages in the main line going out to the street backing up in my apartment. There's always something.
DeleteI'm glad I have almost all of my happy/sad memories in one month...get them over with and march on after. My dad's and Don's death days are close together, too, so that is another melancholy period for me. Ten years! It doesn't seem that long. Your life sure has changed since then.
I love your attitude. ❤️
ReplyDelete---Cheerful Monk
It was a day perfectly ripe for blog fodder.
DeleteReading about your building's plumbing troubles made me think about how far we have come (I think it's progress...). When I was a little girl, back in the 50s, my family and grandparents all lived on farms in the Midwest. All of our homes were comfortable, except there were no indoor toilets. Life was pretty hard on those farms, but we had each other, and we were happy, for the most part. My parents were hard workers and saved enough money to add on a nice bathroom by the early 60s. We thought we were really "uptown" then. Fast forward to modern times and it's not unusual to have one bathroom per person in a household.
ReplyDeleteLife is always changing. It's best if we try to stay flexible. Jean, I commend you for staying positive during your plumbing fiasco. It really doesn't pay to get angry (like the man who said you should sue), or to find fault. Most of the time, things work out. I hope you have a lovely weekend, and a Happy Easter!
I remember the outhouse days. We had one at the cottages for many years before we got an indoor bathroom and electricity. I'm glad I had that experience although at the time I didn't like it. Farm life was hard back in those days. Now with modern machinery I'm guessing it's not as physically hard but the stresses of working around the weather and money would be the same.
DeleteHappy Easter back at you, Pam, and everyone else reading this.
What an ordeal you had, presented with so many inconveniences and a few scary might-happen worse scenarios. Like you, I try to adopt the mindset your father had: my father had it, too. So, even though in the last two weeks, I found out that my thyroid levels were in that proverbial toilet, probably due to the change in gut biome because of a long-lasting intestinal infection, and I was suddenly deficient in Vit D and calcium, too, I'm one of the unlucky few who will need a second cryotherapy treatment on my eyelid to permanently remove the eyelashes growing inward after my reconstruction of my eyelid after skin cancer, my radiofrequency ablation of the veins on one leg may have to be repeated and the other one done, and I have developed glaucoma-level pressures in one eye, I can be glad that the low thyroid levels explain so many things that have been happening. That included the exhaustion and persistent dour outlook that opposed my usual optimism. Now I can feel optimistic again that I'll soon feel better and cope better. Even though my husband's memory problems are clear now and worsening more quickly than I anticipated, my hoped-for renewed strength will help me take care of him longer and he's so far willing to be reminded and helped.
ReplyDeleteI'm 73 now, but back in my mid 40's, I used to find myself down and anxious in the first two weeks of September. Then, one year, I remembered that I had my bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction on September 9 after I was diagnosed with the inherited form of breast cancer that hit so many women in Mom's family. I had forgotten the date, but my body hadn't. It helps to know why our preferred outlook is temporarily deserting us, doesn't it? Still, you were marvelous dealing with those plumbing problems that were not minor and could have escalated. Brava, Jean! You've been my sort-of-big-sister going through some life changes such as caretaking and finding a CCC, and I've been watching closely for tips. I'm so glad I found your page.
I'm honored you find my blog useful.
DeleteI'm glad you got some answers with the thyroid tests. Knowing the cause of exhaustion and how to fix has to be such a relief. You've sure been through a lot with your health! The stuff with your eye is astounding! I never knew that could happen.The medical community sure costs a lot but they can do a lot of stuff they couldn't do even 10 years ago.
We take working toilets for granted but when they don't work it sure can upset our routines. I kidded the plumbers if they didn't get them fixed before night I was taking a pillow and blanket and sleep in the lobby of the other building. And they said they HAVE to get the issue fixed that day. I can't imagine having to do a project like that and having someone like the sue-happy couple hanging around while they did it.
Wasn't it wonderful to find out that it wasn't Something You Did? That's almost always my first thought when anything goes wrong in my home or car: What did I do!? I'm glad everything got put back together and you didn't suffer any serious damage or inconvenience.
ReplyDeleteI know lots of people like Mr. Litigious, those who always want to strike out and blame someone, to make someone pay for any perceived harm. They are tiresome and negative and I cannot imagine how sharp and prickly their journeys through Life are for them. I much prefer the way you and I look at things.
I did not come to this sort of rosier philosophy easily, however; I will say that. But I am everso glad that I finally was able to.
Me too! I was afraid at first that they'd find something I accidentally and unknowingly dropped in toilet.
DeleteI can't even stand Mr. Litigious during lunch, I can't imagine living inside his head. One day we had a buffet and two employees were eating and he asked me, "Do you think they paid for their lunches?" And answered, "I don't know and I don't care." He finds the stupidest things to complain about.
There is so much here that resonates with my life experience, Jean, I don't know where to begin. April is when my mom died, too -- and close to Easter, though not on it. But I have that same kind of weird, sad, cranky feeling leading into things, and of course meltdowns ensue. It has taken Rick quite a while to get used to it but those days stick (and recalling the time leading up to them.)
ReplyDeleteI get a lot of flack for being optimistic and looking on the bright side. People who don't do that really get ticked off when you have that attitude and it can take a while to work them to your viewpoint. Sometimes you never can. (My office assistant/colleague never quite got there.) My mantra is similar to the one you shared -- "It could be worse." I kept saying that to myself as I was standing in the two inches of water in the basement on Wednesday waiting for the drain to open enough to take out what was in the path. It's not carpeted, everything was off the ground. It could be worse. It really helps. I don't have the energy to carry the negativity and vengeance around with me. Life is too short and there is too much to do that is fun. There will always be bad days and we're all allowed to go with it when we have them. But the staying there is damaging to our own mental health.
One other thing -- Kitty Litter. It's a good thing to keep in your car for winter driving but (don't mock me) when you have a toilet problem, kitty litter and a bucket will get you through for a couple of days if there isn't a McDonalds nearby. File that in: Lessons Learned From Septic Issues at the Lake.
"It could be worse" is what I say to myself too during things like your flooded basement or my plugged toilets. I'm glad my dad tough me that at an early age. And the fact is it's true. There are always people going through worse things no matter how bad we thing these solvable issues are.
DeleteThe kitty litter in a pail doesn't sound mockable at all. I used to keep a potty chair in our basement that my husband used before we got a tall toilet installed. I figured I could always haul it up stairs if our toilets got plugged. Here, I'd do a plastic bag in the mop pail. The addition of kitty litter would make sense and I will file that way to remember where the cat owners here live in case I need to borrow some.
The first thing that came to mind when I read the little saying was the words of the immortal Yogi Berra: "If life was perfect, it wouldn't be." I used to interpret that as "If life was perfect, it wouldn't be perfect," which doesn't make much more sense than some of his other sayings. But now I read it differently, as "If life was perfect, it wouldn't be life." To put it another way, 'perfection' is a construct, not a description. One person's 'perfect' often is another's horrid mess.
ReplyDeleteI started thinking about this when I began photographing in nature. I used to look for 'perfect' flowers. Then I figured out such a thing doesn't exist. There's always a little damage, a little sign of decline, an asymmetry here or a discoloration there. Once I got past a desire for perfection, the world opened up.
I think Yogi's saying means what you said second, "if life was perfect, it wouldn't be life" because like you've found in nature, perfection is very rare. "Life is messy" as someone else coined. He sure came up with some great sayings, didn't he. One of my favorites is, "It’s like déjà vu all over again."
DeleteI think you should put that phrase on the first page of that book your nephew gave you. Then just start putting in any doodle, phrase, photo, quote, art - whatever strikes your fancy! Why save it? He would want you to enjoy it and he wouldn't want to make it worry you. "Just do it" as they say!
ReplyDeleteI am glad the plumbing issue was solved and you're good to "go"! :)
Thank you for the push! I just filled up three pages with things I say often. One says, "life is perfect, even when it's not." and "Just do it, no excuses" (I used to have a custom made bracelet with those words) and "it could be worse."
DeleteWhat a masterful lead in to the toilet fiasco! But does this mean the repair crew will be in your home every time there's a problem with the sewer? And did you ever learn why the plug happened? That's a serious problem in a place with multiple residents. A neighbor found out (the hard, expensive way) that her builder put her sewer pipe in with a 90 degree angle at one place. You just have to shake your head at some of the boo-boos people make who should know better.
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen one of the maintenance men since it happened but I'm anxious to learn what the found out from sending a camera down the line. For about a month they'd been trying to find the source of a "water leak" below my furnace room which turns out ties into this whole thing. So now if they find a leak in the same place again they'd have a warning that something was wrong with the sewer line and they can snake it out from the connection in the basement before it backs up to my apartment. They check that boil room area twice a day so they'd see the water on the floor. I'm pretty sure its just shower and sink water, not from the toilets but still didn't smell very good.
DeleteP.S. We've had a ton of rain here and the city was on standby in case blockage was in the street and not our main sewage line.
DeleteVelly interesting! Be sure and let us know what you find out.
DeleteWay to go, Jean - for taking it all in stride. I just finished a course on Emergency Preparedness - one of the first things the instructor said was: "It's an emergency when it happens to someone else, but a disaster when it happens to you." How true is that?!?
ReplyDeleteI have a sadness period like that too - but mine is in the fall - for the same reasons - anniversaries (of deaths, for me) clumped together.
There are always some people who want to make a bad situation worse by feeling personally aggrieved and put out by it. Their lives must be fueled by anger. I wouldn't want to live like that.
Deb
Emergency Preparedness classes are important in this day and age and we don't take them serious in my area. People laugh at me because I have 'go bag' here and had an entire 'go bucket' where I used to live. I loved the bucket because it was air tight and you could use it for a seat. I was just thinking this week that I need do my spring repacking of my 'go bag' to remind me of what's in there and replace the energy bars.
DeleteAre the people who laugh at you the same ones who stock an armoury of guns for “protection”?
DeleteNo, thee people believe God will protect them from all bad things. But they are Trump supporters.
DeleteAh yes, the sewer. We too are at the end of the sewer line so all sewage backs up into our unit.......We are finally moving out so that the HOA can dig up our entire floor to replace the bent pipe. We had a huge battle with the HOA over them paying for it but in the end they agreed since it is common area and belongs to them. We will never move back in but sell it after everything is repaired. It has been a nightmare. Sewage issues are not fun. Roberta
ReplyDeleteGod, I hope something similar doesn't happen to me. Here, we don't actually own the units so the cost of repairs always falls on them. Or at least that's the way it's supposed to work. No one has had damage to test the theory/point of law.
DeleteWhen my mother first went to the "retirement center" after being in rehab, I helped her move in and then asked her to use the toilet just to be sure she could. The toilet promptly overflowed. I quickly turned off the water valve and informed the manager, who got the in-house maintenance guy right away. He said he used to work in a casino the 80s and the usual reason for clogged toilets was pagers that fell out of pockets. He was grateful that we called for him before the water spread out to the carpet. He said one lady got up in the night to use the toilet and went back to bed, not knowing it was overflowing. A nurse's aide came in the morning and there was an inch of water covering the floor of her room. The only thing that he found with this overflow was a hearing aid battery.
ReplyDeleteI'll bet cell phones could easily fall out of pockets when people use the toilets. Something as small as hearing aid battery doesn't seem likely, does it. Cats can push things down in toilet too and kids, of course. Good thing you had your mom check the toilet before you left. She might not have remembered to turn the water off.
DeleteBlocked toilets are so frustrating and something we want unblocked asap, thankfully not something that happens very often for most of us.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, you're right.
DeleteFor a new Complex, having Sewer Problems already has to be concerning, but you handled it well, I might not have. Our Historic Home had some Sewer problems in the Art Studio Cottage, but never really in the Main House... but, it was over 100 Years Old and still had Clay Pipes... so, I expected it. We had more problems in the McManse, which was a new Build and I remember thinking, every time there was Electrical, Plumbing or Appliance Problems, wow, this is a new place, how can that be? Not being able to use one's Toilets is crucial... and Sewage backup is no Joke, it can be a Health and Environmental Hazard. I'm glad they got it resolved before it became a real Crisis or did damage. Life is Perfect even when it's not... is a Glass Half Full concept for sure. I tend to ascribe to that, sure is better than seeing the Glass half Empty IMO.
ReplyDeleteYes, I dodged a bullet with this one. I really need to track down one of the maintenance men and find out what they know caused it.
Delete"Apparently my apartment is the bellwether for all sewer and water related issues in the building, being the first one on the line." Yay you! And aren't you lucky? I agree that it was an inconvenience but not a disaster. Perspective is everything.
ReplyDeleteMust be bad plumbing karma around us. Your story is awful. I too would be afraid of having all that in my apt.
ReplyDeleteWe recently had to have a stretch in our concrete basement floor cut out (yes, in a three year home) for a “latent defect” we discovered after two backups in the lower level toilet. We called a plumber who ran a camera to the stet and told us we had standing water in the pipe. To make a long annoying story short, after many unpleasant exchanges with builder and plumber, they dug up a stretch of ground and fixed the issue. Messy. But I am really grateful they didn’t have to tear my guest bathroom apart…one of the possibilities they suggested before seeing the actual problem.
I am on my way home today and have fingers and toes crossed that it is all repaired and back to normal.
I like your title. Makes a lot of sense. :-)
Hope Springs
Our problem turned out to be Baby Wipes. I would have thought by now everyone would know they are not flushable no matter what the package says. They are having our monthly meeting today and they are going over the problems they caused. So I hope they take them seriously.
DeleteOh man! That is frustrating. We have had those in the house a lot with the grands, and I have never assumed they were flushable. I hope people heed the warning.
DeleteMe Too! If it happens again I'm going to go door to door in our building and talk to all the residents.
DeleteDealing with an overflowing toilet or sink is never fun, but having a step-by-step guide like this makes the situation more manageable. It's important to know when to tackle the issue yourself and when to seek professional help.
ReplyDelete