Christmas Spirit and Activities on Campus

My first Christmas alone after my husband died came on the heels of the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School that took the lives of twenty children and six adults. It put my grief in perspective. After all, I had forty-two years with Don and the parents in Newtown, Connecticut only got a few years with their innocent little angels. Their bottomless grief was a stark reminder that there are always people in the world who are hurting more than we do. I asked the universe back then “Where have you Gone, Christmas?” Now I'm asking similar questions when the world is so full of hate and war and discord. A world where our dysfunctional Congress has done nothing since Newtown to curb school shootings that are as common now as fleas on an alley cat. But I’m trying my best to push the atrocities of war and political inaction aside and find my Christmas spirit. How do I do that? Do I embrace Solomon’s line about there being a time for peace and a time for war, essentially saying “it’s not my problem, let God handle it?”

“To everything there is a season….a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” In times of grief I’ve always found that Bible verse to be comforting and it’s commonly quoted in sympathy cards. I just wish Solomon’s list of contrasting seasons didn’t end with, “there is a time for war and a time for peace.” I much prefer the Humanist Bible’s take on war and peace which says in Proverbs Chapter 143: “There was never a good war or a bad peace," a quote 'borrowed' from Benjamin Franklin and meant to remind us all that wars come with a terrible cost, no matter the altruistic justifications we use to support them. With that off my chest, I've given my Christmas ghosts their due. Tomorrow I'll turn the page and find my holiday spirit.

There is so much Christmas related stuff going on here at the Continuum Care Complex where I live that you can feel the energy has changed but most of it is stuff I’m not interested in taking part in. First, there is a bus trip today a town on Lake Michigan for holiday shopping followed by lunch. Another day of shopping takes place next week to a pop-up Christmas market here in town. Another night they've booked a trolley ride through a baseball park set up with millions of Christmas lights. Then there is the annual “Decorate the Lobby” party where last year there were two dozen chiefs and very few Indians doing the work. I walked over to that event last year with the intent to get involved but kept right on walking when I saw what was going on. Creative decisions by committee is not my cup of anything. Well, maybe a shot of whiskey could make me see the humor in five people trying to figure out where to hang one Christmas ornament on a tree. When I started in the floral industry I had an old boss who was fond of saying, “Time is money” so I learned to make creative decisions that didn’t light his fire by soliciting the opinions of others. I was a trained floral designer and I had to own it. He was a crusty old guy that most people didn't like but we got along great and he taught me a lot like, "If you don't drink coffee you don't get a coffee break."

In the food department here at the CCC I was happy to see a cookie decorating event on our calendar again and I signed up for that and the gingerbread house contest. We get our house kits this week and I’m excited about that. They’ll have a bake sale here closer to Christmas like they did before Thanksgiving. The kitchen bakes all kinds of goodies we can buy to take to family parties. They are good but pricey. But what isn’t these days. They’ll also have a Christmas buffet and our resident driven Christmas and New Year’s Eve parties.

I’m not one of these people who plays Christmas music in the house. My only music related tradition comes in the form of two music boxes. One my dad brought home from a deer hunting trip when I was four-five years old. It’s the kind that hangs round a child’s neck and it has a crank on the side to play Jiggle Bells. It still worked up until last year. The other music box has a wooden Santa's sleigh on top that goes around when the music plays Silent Night. I’ve had that one since the ‘60s. But on this campus there are tons of music related things to go to. Two bus rides off campus to hear concerts at local churches. A choral group is coming here and we’ve already had a two man show of Christmas music, and a Christmas Caroles sing-along is coming up before the ink is even dry on this essay. (If I were writing this out long-hand instead of on a computer. I need an updated, before-the-ink-is-dry phrase. Any suggestions?) And did I mention all the exercise classes that involve music---and there are four of them---have switched over to Christmas music? The exercise addicted people on campus are going to be sick of it before 2024 gets ushered in. I’m sick of it and I just walk past the exercise room on my way to other things.

And last but not least for many people on campus, since the beginning of November through the end of the year the Movie series, The Chosen One plays twice a week with a study discussion taking place afterward. (They did the same thing last year as well.) Those discussions occasionally spill out onto the lunch table so I know the series is, to quote the internet: “based on the true stories of the gospels of Jesus Christ. Some locations and timelines have been combined or condensed. Backstories and some characters or dialogue have been added.” All the people who are following this series rave about it and for a minute and a half when it first started this year I thought about watching it with the others. My favorite pastor on campus, Ms Angel from my creative writing group, was to lead the discussions and she knows I’m a serious doubting Thomas when it comes to religion. But two weeks ago she and another pastor got downsized without any warning that it was coming. Now, this campus and our sister campus share one pastor. I don’t know how they could do that to her right before Christmas. She was devastated…but trying her best to see this as not an ending of a hard earned goal but as the beginning of a new chapter. And isn't that what most/many of us do when we must move on? ©

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace." (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).