“Not in Assisted Living (Yet): Dispatches from the Edge of Independence!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, September 30, 2026

Cold Bathrooms, Warm Hoodies and Miracle Power of Honey

Some Fridays arrive with a clear topic in hand; others show up with a blank screen, a stubborn pocket door, and a foot wrapped like a mummy. Jean’s week delivered all three — plus a few medical mysteries, a sweatshirt that now fits like she borrowed it from a linebacker, and a maintenance man who unintentionally rescued her from writer’s block. Settle in for her latest dispatch from the continuum of independence, cold bathrooms, and the winding road of wound care...AI

How many times am I going to start a blog post by saying I’m staring at a blank computer screen without the foggiest notion of what to write about? This time, however, there’s a maintenance man on the other side of my apartment trying to fix the pocket door between my en‑suite bathroom and the bedroom. It only slides halfway and then gets stuck. And you’re probably wondering why it matters, since I live alone and privacy shouldn’t be a problem.

For one thing, I’m a creature of habit, and I’m afraid I’ll forget not to close it, get trapped in the bathroom, and die of starvation before anyone finds me — which isn’t entirely true. If I didn’t show up on Mahjong day to set up the tables, mats, and sets, someone would come looking for me. I may be wrong, but I think it takes longer than six days to die of starvation, assuming I got trapped on a Wednesday night. Although knowing my luck, I’d be the first documented case of someone starving to death in a bathroom with a fully stocked pantry twenty-five feet away.

But the main reason I need the door to shut is to keep heat in the bathroom when I’m taking a shower. This stupid apartment has no heat source in the bathroom except for a small heater on a timer that’s part of the ceiling exhaust fan. I’d add my own space heater, but there isn’t an electrical outlet anywhere except on the countertop — where the cord would no doubt end up in water and I’d die by electrical shock. My entire apartment is too cold for me. The heat ducts are close to the ceiling, so I can’t even stand in front of one to get warm the way I did in other houses where I’ve lived.

My favorite winter attire is a hoodie that says, “Yes, I’m cold! Me 24:7” sprawled across the chest. I put it on the other day and almost cried. I spent a fortune on that bulky sweatshirt, and after losing 40 pounds it totally engulfs me. It was already a size too big last winter but now my hands are completely covered, the body of the shirt is halfway down my thighs, and I have enough room inside to conceal an eight‑month pregnancy. It’s one of those situations where I’m both happy and sad at the same time — happy for the weight loss but sad that my favorite garment now makes me look like a toddler who wandered off wearing her father’s college sweatshirt.

I still have more weight to lose, so I’m trying not to buy anything new. Like most people whose weight has been up and down their entire lives, I had a stash of clothing stored away in a box labeled “Too Small.” They are just right now. So I’ll be okay until around Christmas, when I hope to be in new territory with a number on the scale I haven’t seen since I was forty. I thank the gods of science who developed Zepbound for that possibility, and I curse the gods of misfortune who gave me a foot wound that’s preventing me from walking my butt off — literally.

And finally, I found my topic to blog about: updates on my foot.

I’ve been to the wound center three times now, and I can actually see progress. And guess what they’re having me dress the wound with. If you said scoparium honey, you’d get the kewpie doll. AI says scoparium honey “is a unique monofloral honey produced by bees that pollinate the Leptospermum scoparium bush… produced mainly in New Zealand and parts of Australia where the native tea tree grows.” For wounds it’s “applied topically in medical‑grade gels to promote tissue repair and fight bacteria.”

But it’s a little more complicated than just dabbing it on. First I have to apply a cream that lessens the pain of cleaning the wounds (there are five) and let it set for ten minutes. Then comes cleaning the wounds with a cleanser that has “acid” in the title before it’s ready for the honey, followed by covering the wounds with a gooey, sticky infused gauze. On top of that goes a silicone foam dressing and enough tape to mummify my foot. At this point my foot has more layers than a wedding cake. But I still have to add a compression tube folded double over my toes and its liner. The foot doctor I was seeing before I started going to the wound center wasn’t even having me cover the area with anything but a cream.

As part of the hunt to figure out what caused — or is contributing to — the wounds I’ve had since May, the wound center sent me to a vein doctor because they suspected a “leaky varicose vein.” But the vein doctor said I have good blood flow going down to my feet and back up to my heart, and nothing that requires surgery. She recommended that I see a vascular doctor to rule out an issue in that department, even though she said that since I can walk 7,000 steps without pain, she didn’t think a vascular doctor would find anything. And since she seemed interested in spending Blue Cross and Medicare’s money, she also said I should see a dermatologist and an autoimmune doctor.

When I told the wound center doctor that, he made a sarcastic remark under his breath about her wanting to run me all over the place — which pretty much echoed what I thought. I didn’t tell him that she also thought he was wrong to tell me to cut back on my walking because, she said, “the ankle is like a second heart, pumping blood to our feet.” Don’t you hate it when doctors disagree? It’s like having divorced parents, except instead of arguing over custody, they’re arguing over my foot. Even though cutting back my walking has slowed down my weight loss, I’m sticking with his advice since I’m finally seeing improvement — which I never saw during the three months of going to a foot doctor twice a month. When I finally saw what Ms. Foot Doctor was billing my insurance company, I was flabbergasted. $326 each visit on top of what Medicare was paying her! Thankfully, I got smart enough to ask for a referral and I'm now getting a treatment that seems to be working. Whatever is causing the open sores, they went from one open wound to five under her care.

Circling back to where I began — because I read once that writers need to do that — the maintenance man is gone, my pocket door works great again, and I no longer have a blank computer screen. Now I need to save what I just wrote so I can do some proofing and editing later today. ©

Photo: When I was searching Etsy for a photo of my beloved sweatshirt to use up above, I noticed they were having a sale so I broke down and ordered another one — two sizes smaller and out of the plus size category! They have a no returns policy so if it's too small, then it will live in my closet as incentive to stay on the weight loss course.  

33 comments:

  1. Forty pounds gone!!! That is wonderful news. You must be so proud. I hope it helps you get lower doses of meds that are keeping you alive ... or taken all the way off.

    Does your Dr have to prescribe this?

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    1. Oh yes, and it's very hard to qualify for it because insurance does not like to pay for it. It took me two months to get them fill the prescription. You have to have two-three qualifying conditions. For me, that was severe sleep apnea, a BMI above a certain amount and high blood pressure. There are other new GLP-1 drugs coming on the market all the time with different critique. But I don't think any of the are for people who just want to lose 10 or 20 pounds. And the drugs doesn't make you lose. You still have to eat 500 calories under what your body burns. It's all in the math. Even Weight Watchers has embraced it.

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  2. I'm glad you have a doctor that seems to be helping!

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    1. Me too, I had nightmares about having get my foot amputated.

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  3. Congratulations on your weight loss, I’m impressed. I wish I had the inspiration to begin my weight loss journey. So sorry about your foot and all the discomfort it causes you. Sounds like you have found the right path to healing. JJ

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    1. J.J. As many times as someone our ages and with our genes has been down this weight loss path it really is hard to get motivated. For me, this time, it's that I don't want to go to an assisted living and be a two person assist. When you are, you have to wait around for two people to be available at the same time to help you do anything. I saw my sister-in-law go through that and it isn't pretty. Plus it really does feel good to have lost a couple of sizes.

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  4. I'm glad you ordered the hoodie. There are some items that we use so constantly that they are a Need not a Want. This hoodie sounded like a Need.

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    1. It is a need for me. I'm chronically anemic and always cold even in the summer. In the winter in Michigan I'm constantly added layers.

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  5. Yes, I was saying "buy the hoodie" as I read your post so I'm glad you did. Would a small space heater in the living room help warm up the bathroom, too? We use a small one in the family room and it really makes a difference in the winter.

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    1. I have two small heaters, one in my living room and one in my den. But there is a bedroom in between my bath and the living room and there is no plug close enough in the bedroom to use to aim a heater into the bathroom. Trust me, I've tried. I blame the lack of heat in this place on drafty windows---a lot of them---and those heat vent in the ceiling. Plus I have tall ceilings. Who ever thought that was a good idea probably got a big bonus for saving the building a lot of money.

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    2. One more idea, although you've probably already thought of this. How about having a heat lamp installed in the ceiling - like they sometimes have in hotels? Just a thought...

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    3. Not an option in this facility. But I wish it was.

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  6. I'm glad you found the doctor who is finally helping! I was always freezing after my stroke, and would have my space heater at my feet while I sat at my computer. But in 2019 I found a trainer who was willing to work with me, and now I'm not cold all the time. Plus I'm a lot stronger now, which is good.

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    1. I get how a trainer can help us get stronger but what kinds of things did he have you doing so that cold doesn't bother you anymore?

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    2. For me, being in a wheelchair, I think it was just getting moving and getting stronger. It got me moving more all the time, and doing things I hadn't been able to before. It wasn't immediate, of course, but after a year or so I actually noticed I was warmer in the winter and after a few years I didn't need my space heater any more. Sorry I can't give you specific exercises, but it was more general than that. Although one exercise that really helped was punching. The gym has boxing gloves, and I put one on my unaffected arm, and my trainer puts on boxing pads (that's what Amazon calls them) and I punch him, and he blocks my punches. It's really great cardio for someone in a wheelchair.

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    3. We have cardio boxing here and I guess it's quite a work out. I such try it. I can see how just moving more when you use a wheelchair can help both you and your family caregiver. When my husband was alive I took him to the gym to work out his functioning arm and leg which really helped with transfers. He also did therapy in the pool when we could get the doctor to make the referral. But after the first 7 or 8 years he didn't want to go anymore and I didn't push him.

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  7. I'm glad you ordered a new shirt. It's a terrific one (and I agree completely. I'm always cold too.) People wonder why I don't have a/c but apart from about five days a year, I don't want or need it and get cold when I'm in it. Interesting about the foot -- I hate conflicting ideas too. And three cheers on the 40!

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    1. I only ran my A/C two times last summer. I really hate A/C. Why do those who have it always have it set so low so that the contract between going outside and inside is so much? I'm always wearing a sweater inside public areas.

      I was fascinated by the honey treatment as well. I haven't run into anyone whose known about it. And this is coming from a wound center where they have all kinds of treatment options.

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  8. I'm so happy for you about the weight loss! So proud of you! You go girl! And even happier that you are finding a treatment that is working for your foot. I was quite concerned with what you were reporting. So happy you changed doctors. It was getting scary.
    And glad the door is fixed! I know exactly what you are saying. Ever since my heart issues and new prescriptions - I am cold all the time. I have been sleeping with a sheet, blanket and two doubled over quilts all summer. I am not sure how I will get through the winter.

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    1. The wound center is a serious place for people who have wounds that can't heal. I like that you see more than one doctor there and they consult each other on the treatment course. The nurse are first class too.

      It's awful when you can't get warm. I didn't know there are medications that can do that to you. I can recommend silk long underwear under you clothing. I bought my for skiing years ago and dug it back out last winter.

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  9. I first saw that sweatshirt on an instructional aide in a special ed classroom. I knew just who to gift it to. My father's wife is always cold. (I knit her a fluffy blanket a couple years back. It sounds like you could use one.) I was going to suggest where to get another, but I see you already have.

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    1. Esty has a lot of cute sweatshirts. I have too many. I'll bet that fluffy blanket was a huge hit.

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  10. I'm glad you found a doctor that is helping! The honey treatment is fascinating...never heard of such a thing! And I LOVE that sweatshirt. I, too, am always cold. And today the gray rain is chilling me to the bone. Our master bath has one wimpy vent under the vanity counter and in the dead of winter that room is really chilly! I wish I had put vinyl on the floor instead of tile, which just holds the cold. Oh, well. We live with what we have.
    Congrats on 40 lbs! That's a great accomplishment. I'd love to lose some weight, but it seems harder and harder as I get older, and honestly, I am motivated for a week, sometimes two, and then it's --- whatever. This week it's Koeze's caramel apples. :-(

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    1. Koeze's does have the best caramel applies. I used to live near-by their store.

      My bath floor is also tile and I never thought about it holding the cold. I really hate it because of the fact there's no real way to clean the grout. Seems like a way to hold onto germs.

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  11. You are doing well with your weight loss, but having feet issues isn't good

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    1. Thank you. Since I'm not walking as much I'm not losing as much per week as before but I'm okay with that. My foot healing comes first.

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  12. Sorry to hear about all your foot woes but yay on your weight loss journey.. that's great.

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  13. Thank you. I have a more to lose but I'm still seeing progress.

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  14. I get what you mean about subjects for posts. In the morning, I have no idea what I want to write. In the evening, I'll pass by something which makes me chuckle. Boom! I find a topic.
    BTW, I love my hoodies and am glad it's starting to get cold enough to wear them again.

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  15. Gosh your foot sores must have been ulcers to not heal right away.. now brave of you to order a size smaller, I daren't as I have a whoe wardrobe of too small clothes!

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    1. They were very deep and wide spread, but I'm seeing progress.

      When I Moved here five years ago I had 3 sizes in my closet but down sized to just two sizes. The new sweatshirt, by the way, came and fits great.

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