Eye Glasses and Pushy Women

 

After Stretch Class I stopped by an eye glass place to pick out a new pair of frames and I ending up in front of a rack where I found three strong possibilities. “Oh, you don’t want those glasses,” the clerk said as she approached. “That company makes you wait two weeks to get your glasses back.”

“That’s not a problem to me,” I replied but I was thinking, Why not let the customer decide if that’s too long to wait?

“Let me show you something over here,” she said as she led me across the room where she handed me a pair of frames with gold hinges and trim.

“These won’t work,” I said, “I don’t wear gold.”

Next she handing me a couple of rimless glasses to try on which I don’t like because they tend to fall apart too quickly for me. (Hint: Don’t fall asleep reading because in the morning you will be searching your sheets for missing lens.) She had me try on some dark plastic nerd frames, some burgundy frames and wire rims. No, no and no. Then she handing me another pair of frames with gold trim on the sides.

I repeated that I don’t wear gold adding, “I don’t even own anything gold.”

“Well, these are BRUSHED gold and they go with gold or silver,” she said. “Try them on.”

Ya, right, I thought. They don't go with my SILVERY grey hair! I handed them right back, my annoyance growing. I couldn’t decide if I was getting the little-old-lady-doesn’t-know-beans treatment or her tastes were in Chicago and mine were in Miami.

I pulled another pair off a rack---gray and clear swirled plastic with a touch of black and silver trim and she told me, "They are all wrong for your face.” I liked them. They were big and flashy and I was in the mood for a signature pair of glasses that said I-don’t-give-a-damn-what’s-in-style-I-like-the-80s-look. I picked out a couple more frames that I liked but she didn’t. She did the same. At that point I said, “I’d better come back when I’m in a different mood because this isn’t working today."

A sugary, sweet voice normally reserved for puppies, kittens and humans wearing diapers came back at me. "You do that, dear. We'll find you a nice pair glasses when you're in a different mood."

No, WE won't! I thought as I walked out door. When I got home I jumped on the internet and made a list of other places in the area that accept my vision insurance.

Two years ago when I was in that store to pick out frames I bought the one and only pair of glasses I tried on. The guy who waited on me picked them out and not a month goes by that someone doesn’t tell me how much they like my glasses. He got the shape, scale and color perfect in one try. Isn’t it funny how one sales clerk can turn your experience into something great and another can remind you of shopping with that “certain someone” who always tries to undermine your confidence. The moral of this story is to always let a gay guy wait on you at an optics store. I’m half kidding but this woman’s sales style was pushy and I was starting to feel my inner baby coming out. If you spoon those peas in my mouth one more time, I’m going to spit them far and wide!

Note to self: If I'm ever in a nursing home and someone is about to hand-feed me dinner, take your hearing aids out first so you won't hear if that nurse's aide starts using the puppies-kittens-and-humans-wearing-diapers sugary, sweet voice on me. ©