Friday night I packed the back of my Chevy Trax up with an
oddball collection of stuff, all with one thing connecting them to another---my parents. There was a coat and hat rack
from the turn-of-century, a small side table/book case my dad made, a box of
silverware, a box of containing embroidery pieces my mom did, a few of her hand
crocheted dollies, a baby quilt she made for either my brother or me, a quilt
she made for my dolls, a set of embroidery quilt blocks that never got put
together and my brother’s and my baby blankets. I was actually worried I’d get
into a rear in collision on the way to the lake and these things I’ve been
holding onto would get destroyed before I had a chance to put them up for
grabs.
The next day I almost fulfilled that car accident vision in my
head and it would have been a doozy. I was in the right hand lane of the
expressway going through the busy city and after passing a large convoy of slow
moving military equipment in the center lane, I put my turn signal on to pull
in front of the head truck in the convoy and at the exact, same time a car in
the far left lane was doing same. We came towards each other like two fat and happy sports
fans coming together for a belly bump. And like a synchronized ballet we both saw each other at the same time and jerked ourselves back to where we came from, the belly bump not completed. Thank goodness! I would bet money that the young guy
driving that head military truck was peeing his pants. I know I would have been
if I hadn’t just emptied my bladder at home five minutes before the almost
pileup of heavy equipment that surely would have closed the highway down for
hours. At least my obituary would have noted the fact that I always follow the
rules of life. “She died in a fiery crash, her turn signal
still flashing when the fire department arrived.”
I met my two nieces at a popular bakery/restaurant for lunch
before going over to the family cottage to have what one of my nieces dubbed an
episode of the Antiques Road Show. After the waitress took our orders my oldest
niece told the waitress to bring her the check and I protested telling her to
give it to me. The waitress said, “The first one to speak up wins.” My younger
niece laughed and said, she told her husband that’s exactly what would happen.
Niece #1 always has an excuse for taking the check, this time it was because
niece #2 had a birthday in August and I was bringing family treasures out for
them to pick through. One time niece #1's excuse for taking the check was, “I just got a new credit card and
I want to see if it works.” When hearing that, her nephew naively asking, “Why wouldn’t it? You have to apply
to get them” which had everyone howling with laughter.
Niece #1 is enamored with all things mid-century and she was
thrilled to get my mom’s silverware. Before I gave the set to her I researched
to find the pattern name on Replacements Ltd. and I had to go through 28 pages of
flatware before it popped up. When I saw that ‘1950’ release date, I was so
excited that she’s lucky I didn’t call her because it was after midnight.
Replacements Ltd. is a great resource for finding missing pieces of vintage and
antique crystal, china and flatware sets. I love Google. I was also able to
find the building plans for the revolving book case/end table that my dad built
for my mom’s 1958 Christmas present. I
have my ways of paying my niece back for lunches. I snapped those plans up on e-Bay. She was a teacher and will enjoy that show-and-tell prop.
But the most fun part of the day was when niece #2 told a long-drawn
out story about a trip she made to Pet Smart to buy a goldfish and they wouldn’t
sell it to her after asking what size tank she had (15 gallons) and how many
fish she already had (three). She was told her a fish would die with four in a
tank that size and then she’d come back wanting a replacement. “What if I sign a pledge not
to bring back a dead fish for replacement, would you sell it to me then?” “Nope.”
“You’re serious!” “Very.” “Can I see your manager?” After telling the manager
she’s got four grandchildren and she wanted a forth fish so they’d each have one
to name the manager told her if she didn’t quit trying to buy a fish they’d
have to ask her to leave the store. She ended the story by saying she went to
another store that confirmed the fact that four fish in a fifteen gallon tank is too many. PETA
guidelines. “So you won’t sell me one either?” “I’ll sell you anything you want,” the clerk said. Niece #1 and I had tears
running down our cheeks we were laughing so hard. Niece #2 has always had a
great sense of humor and a personality that makes her fun to be around but until
that afternoon I didn’t realize that she could easily do standup comedy. ©
