I apologize in advance to anyone who is a fan of The Bachelorette “reality” TV series for
what I am about to write. This week I watched the two hour finale in my effort
to break away from dawn-to-bedtime news coverage. Really, people, why is this
program so popular? I don’t get it. If you’ve never seen the show, it started the
season with one bachelorette and a group of 25 guys all vying to stay in the
game and win the girl, Andi, who came with a wedding package worth mega bucks.
Each week Andi eliminated guys who didn’t suit her fancy as a potential husband. By
the finale she was down to two guys (Josh and Nick) who she brought home to mom
and dad so the guys could get permission from the dad to ask for the bachelorette’s
hand in marriage. Then Andi went on one last, spectacular date with each guy to
help her decide. She ended up sleeping with Nick but gave the final rose of acceptance
to Josh. Queue the violins, he got down on one knee and the rest is Nielsen’s
rating history.
But that was not the end of the melodrama. Nick, was heartbroken not to be The
One and wanted to know why she slept with him on that last date if she wasn’t in love with him.
Ya, why? People on Fox News are calling her a slut and Twitter is calling him
out for kissing and telling. Me? I just want to know how anyone can think it’s
possible to pick a life partner on a “reality” TV show. I have a couple of
in-laws who love this show. They are nice, normal people which baffles me all
the more regarding the appeal of fake falling in love in front of a TV camera
while pawning it---their love---off as the real deal. I hear tell at least one of the coupes who found love this way in past seasons are still together so maybe my cynicism is misplaced?
Changing topics: I was at the senior hall three times this
week and after one of the events a woman I know causally asked me if I’d like
to follow her home to see her new condo. Since spring I’ve been keeping up with
its building progress each time I’d see her so I was happy about the
invitation. She was widowed a year before me and, like me, she had been a
long-time caregiver to her husband. Her son, when he first saw the condo said, “Mom,
I thought you were downsizing!” and to that she told him it was the yard she
wanted to downsize. It had become the symbol of her caregiver life. Every
square inch had been turned into a flower garden---beautiful beyond belief! She
showed me photos of it. Working out there had been her place of solace, near-by yet a place where she could get away from her needy husband. Now that
he was gone, her love for her garden disappeared. The new condo was quality
built and her choices of colors, fixtures, flooring, etc. were modern
and magazine perfect. I would have hate living there---too big and beige for my
tastes and I dislike walking in a front door and being in a kitchen, it's not my favorite room in a house----but I am happy for her. Her old house, she said, was weighing her
down and she positively glowed showing me the condo and her treasures in it.
I think about getting a condo from time to time and I have
even looked at several since Don died. But if I’m going to move, I need to gain
something like a condo community that has a pool and/or a social life for
seniors like fellow blogger, The Awkward Widow, writes about and it must be a universal
design (meaning wheelchair accessible). My friend whose condo I just toured is
10 years old than me and the minute she needs a walker she’ll be in trouble. She
won’t be able to get inside without going up steps and the garage isn’t big
enough or configured right to add a ramp and still have room for a car. The
front door has a ramp---if you want to call it that---but it’s not regulation ADA
specs and, trust me, no wheelchair will be able to get up it without tipping
over. After spending 12 years pushing a wheelchair around, I could tell you horror
stories about trying to get into buildings and houses without the proper sidewalk or ramp incline and/or 36 inch door frames. (ADA recommends a 3:12 slope which translates to needing one foot of ramp for every 3″ of vertical rise to get the proper
incline. My friends "ramp" was easily a 9:12. And it will be a sheet of ice all winter long.) I guess I know too much
about building universal design and it baffles me as much as the popularity of The Bachelorette why people over 50 don’t
build houses or condos where they can age in place. I need to get off that soap box
because this is a topic I’m passionate about and I could go on and on until the
cows come home. Breathe, Jean breathe!
An impromptu trip to a farmers and craft market I usually don’t go to took up another afternoon this week. A Red Hat sister of mine sells jewelry at this one and I knew her best friend’s funeral was this week. She invited me to sit awhile, so I grabbed a hot dog and we chatted in between shoppers. It reminded of the days when Don and I were vendors at gas and oil memorabilia collector conventions and swap meets. I felt at home and I was glad I went out of my way to touch bases with her. She’s one of my favorite Red Hatters and losing a life-long best friend can be as hard as losing a spouse. Some here in widowhood land would debate that but that my story for the moment and I’m sticking to it. ©
An impromptu trip to a farmers and craft market I usually don’t go to took up another afternoon this week. A Red Hat sister of mine sells jewelry at this one and I knew her best friend’s funeral was this week. She invited me to sit awhile, so I grabbed a hot dog and we chatted in between shoppers. It reminded of the days when Don and I were vendors at gas and oil memorabilia collector conventions and swap meets. I felt at home and I was glad I went out of my way to touch bases with her. She’s one of my favorite Red Hatters and losing a life-long best friend can be as hard as losing a spouse. Some here in widowhood land would debate that but that my story for the moment and I’m sticking to it. ©
