I’ve spend many New Year’s Eves reviewing my past year’s
accomplishments and disappointments and making new resolutions for the coming
year. Many of my old diaries contain grandiose prologues with lists of
resolutions done in a way only a youthful person with a locking book and a pen could write. I was
ritualistic about the process in the last century, but in this century some
would say I gotten more creative about the passing of one year and the
beginning of another. Others might say I’ve just gotten lazier as I age.
For
example, for a few years early in my widowhood I joined the One Word Mantra
Movement instead of writing resolutions and that worked great for me. The idea
is to pick a word that expresses your intention for the coming year, an
inspiration to apply to your life. In 2013 as a widow approaching
my first sadiversary I embraced the word ‘bravery’ as my mantra and the
Cowardly Lion as my mantra’s symbol. I even found a Cowardly Lion charm to wear
on a chain. (I love eBay. You can find anything there.) I wore that charm to
all the places I went to solo, when I was feeling insecure and wishing I didn’t
have to choose between going out alone and staying home alone. It worked because now I can go anywhere and it no longer fazes me. Well, except maybe to a biker bar in the hood, I'd still be scared if I tried that. Not that I want to, I'm just sayin' so for the sake of full disclosure.
For 2014 I used a longer mantra---“Choose Your Change”---to help me
remember that I was in charge of pulling my own strings and I could transform my
life into whatever I want. Then in 2015 I went with “Just Show Up” as my mantra.
It was a one-size-fits-all situations manta/resolution that bounced off
something Woody Allen is known for saying, “Eighty percent of success is
showing up.” He was talking about being successful at writing and how so many
people say they want to write, but they don’t sit down and do it thus they
don’t accomplish anything. He believes
that if you actually show up every day to put words on paper, you’re 80% of the
way towards being successful. That mind-set can be applied to any goal and in 2014 I wanted to ‘just show up’ for every
that felt like progress in finding and building new friendships. I signed up for any and everything I could down at the
senior hall, didn’t turned down a single invitation that came along, got
involved in a few volunteer projects and I stepped up my creative writing
sessions and to this day I still continue showing up every day to feed words to my computer.
Last year my inspiration for my 2019 New Year’s Resolution
were some words I saw stitched on fabric: “Use all the talents God gave you for
the forest would be very quiet if only the best bird sang.” Being a person who
drags around a lot of guilt for wasting time and my minor league talents, those
words struck a chord. So last year I cataloged my talents and vowed to
appreciate and use them more. And I did. Two things that I consider I have a
talent for doing are organizing and long-range planning. So I put money down
on a 1,000 square foot unit at a continuum care campus that is being built and won’t be ready
until early 2021 and I’m symmetrically downsizing my quart-sized life into the
pint-sized life I’ll be moving into.
Now with January 1st, 2020 close at hand I’m
starting a new-to-me tradition. I'm starting a The Good Things Jar which is like keeping
a gratitude journal and a gratitude journal did wonders for me in the dark year
following Don’s stroke when some days the only thing I had to be grateful for
was the fact that the day was almost over. With The Good Things Jar you’re supposed to write a note about something
good that happened in your week then put the note in the jar---notes that you’ll
take out and read on the following New Year’s Eve. I’m a creature of habit. I
take my trash out on Sundays. I water my indoor plants at the same time, plan
my next week, do my laundry and read the Sunday paper. I’m planning to
incorporate writing my ‘good things’ notes into my Sunday chores list. Sometimes
I get so lost in big projects that I forget to come up for air like this past
year of downsizing collectibles on e-Bay and I’m thinking the ‘jar’ will help
me notice the positive things happening around me, around the world and in my
heart as I let go of past to move into the future.
What are you doing on New Year’s Eve? Will you look back at last year and tally up your successes and regrets, maybe make a few Resolutions for the year to come? It’s also (almost) the beginning of a new decade and let’s face it, it will probably be my last decade on earth and I plan on making the most of it. Now not only am I resolving that in 2020 I will faithfully use my Good Things Jar but I’m also making a resolution for the whole decade to come a year from now. I’m going to: 1) choose my change, 2) just show up and 3) use my talents all rolled up into one whopper of a Resolution for the rest of my life. ©
What are you doing on New Year’s Eve? Will you look back at last year and tally up your successes and regrets, maybe make a few Resolutions for the year to come? It’s also (almost) the beginning of a new decade and let’s face it, it will probably be my last decade on earth and I plan on making the most of it. Now not only am I resolving that in 2020 I will faithfully use my Good Things Jar but I’m also making a resolution for the whole decade to come a year from now. I’m going to: 1) choose my change, 2) just show up and 3) use my talents all rolled up into one whopper of a Resolution for the rest of my life. ©
