“Not in Assisted Living (Yet): Dispatches from the Edge of Independence!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean
Showing posts with label Christina Perri. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christina Perri. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Nighttime Dreams, the Gathering Girls and my Poor Ear!



Every so often I’ll go through a streak when I’ll dream of my husband three-four nights in a row. It happened over the Labor Day weekend. I can’t put my finger on what triggers them. Loneliness? Disasters and tensions in the world? Hearing the lyrics of a song? Christina Perri’s, “You put your arms around me and I’m home” did haunt me for a couple of days. In most of the dreams I can see my husband but not talk to him. No surprise there. He’s dead in my daytime life, but not in my dreams. He’s walking around, doing things and I’m watching movie style. Last night was different. We were together in a pickup truck, riding around out in the boondocks when we came upon a place where an army of bulldozers were pushing dirt around, preparing a huge building site. For some reason we thought something secret and sinister was going on and we had to report it. We turned around to do that and suddenly we were being chased.

According to DreamMoods.com to dream of being chased “signifies that you are avoiding a situation that you do not think is conquerable. It is a metaphor for some form of insecurity…Alternatively, you may be running away from a primal urge or fear.” Okay, the ‘avoidance’ makes sense. I just finished updating my Emergency Care Plan book for myself and Levi and I still need to go through my Estate Planning book to update that. I can’t believe it’s been since 2013 when I last did it! The setting of my dream, which most dream books say isn’t the important part, also makes sense when I remembered what I’d been doing before I went to bed. I’d been reading a thread on a political debate site about building codes and land use in Texas, a discussion on whether or not people should be allowed to rebuild on flood plains---as if getting 52 inches of rain over a few short days wouldn’t turn any place into a flood plain. Jeez! But still, people do have a point when they say when federal money is helping to rebuild the same houses time and time again maybe it’s time for a better master plan. God, the world is a complicated place!

I also dreamed about my mother this past week and I hardly ever do that. We were riding around in a car trying to find a Mexican restaurant on a side of town I rarely ever go to. Since the action is the important part of the dream I looked up ‘searching’ and DreamMoods said, “To dream that you are searching for something signifies the need to find something that is missing or needed in your life. The dream may be analogous to your search for love, spiritual enlightenment, peace or even a solution to a problem.” But why was I searching with my mother? DreamMoods has an answer for that, too. (They have an answer for everything including why people dream about M&Ms. In case you’re wondering, M&Ms represent “life's small, but sweet rewards.” But I digress.) About seeing my mom in my dream, they said: “[it] represents the nurturing aspect of your own character. Mothers offer shelter, comfort, life, guidance and protection.” I’m not particularly gaga over Mexican food but the nearest I can figure out is that part of the dream is a reference to holding on to tradition and culture. Dream analysis might all be entertaining bull poop but its logical, entertaining bull poop.

Change of topic: My First Mondays Brunch with the Gathering Girls met on Tuesday this month because of the holiday. We went to Culver’s for a change of scenery and then to an Antique & Artisan Market near-by followed by another stop for dessert. 11:30 to 3:00 on a pleasant weather day. It doesn't get much better than that but we laughed so hard and often at lunch it’s a wonder we did leave seven little puddles of pee in our chairs when we left. We sure know how to play off each other’s senses of humor.

Second change of topic: I finally called the hearing doctor to make an appointment and was shocked that I have to wait 21 days to get in to see him. I should have called a couple of weeks ago but I honestly thought the paper-rattling sound and clicking in my ear would go away on its own but when my ear started kicking my hearing aid out to the point that I can’t wear it anymore I got concerned. I tried some allergy medication and that didn’t help thus the appointment was made. The clicking is happening less often as of a few days ago but only after I got an odd swishing sound in my ear and a sense of air rushing in. Did my ear drum break or do I have an over-active imagination? By the time I get into the doctor I’ll either be completely cured or I will have an inner ear infection and die on the living room floor because I can’t tell which way is up and which way is down and Levi doesn’t know how to dial the phone to call for help. Stupid dog! ©