Cool Cottages and Fancy-Ass Fashion Shows

"cottage"

Decisions! Decisions! I sat outside the senior hall trying to decide if I wanted to go back home and get my hearing aids or not. I had the time before the lecture began if I wanted to give up my prime parking space, one that allows for a quick escape after lectures are over and a 115 cars are funneling out of a single exit. Defensive parking, I call it. The senior hall is a great place to get your car dinged, bumped, backed into and scratched. While I was sitting there I had a brilliant idea. Why on earth don’t I just keep my hearing aids in the car? I never wear when I’m alone in the house and I always remember them when I’m in a parking lot waiting for an event to start or an appointment time…I’m a habitual early bird.

I opted not to go home because the deck crew was there finishing up and I didn’t want the dog to think he was getting an early release from his bedroom prison. He stays there all night long by choice but add a baby gate to the doorway and he gets his nose out of joint. He’s used to having the run of the house when I go away but with people working on my wrap-around deck, the dog barking to protect his domain would drive them crazy and their noise would drive him crazy. The deck, by the way, turned out great although it took them forever. Partly because people over 60 don’t work fast and partly because they only worked two to three hours at a time and I was getting truly sick of seeing them around. They not only stained the wood but also replaced the lattice work and had to dig down almost a foot through a tangle of roots to get at the bottom runner. The depth of that runner keeps small animals from burling under but it doesn’t stop them from chewing their way in and out from underneath my deck. Nearly twenty years of chewing really did an evil number on the lattice. 

The lecture was titled, “The Historic Cottages of Mackinac Island.” People outside of the Great Lakes area may not know much about Mackinac Island---a popular summertime tourist place that draws a million visitors between May and November---but those who do know, know that the word ‘cottage’ is a misnomer. These places are more like mansions that line the eight miles of bluffs overlooking the waters of Lake Huron in between lower and upper Michigan. Gables, wrap-around porches, widow’s walks, bay windows, turrets and towers. The lecturer was speaking my favorite language. The few places that are currently up for sale are listed between three and five point five million. Yes, for a place you can only use in the summers. Only one house on the whole island is occupied year-around and if that isn’t quaint enough for you there are no motorized vehicles allowed on the island. Getting around is by foot, bicycle, horseback or horse drawn vehicles but on Sundays people often take their yachts to church. Which begs the question, what happens to the horses in the winter? The internet had the answer. The majority of the 400 draft horses are taken to the Upper Peninsula by boat for the winter, a process that takes two weeks to move them all. Those left behind are used for sleigh rides for Christmas parties for those who venture over to the island across the frozen water on snowmobiles.

The lecture wasn’t the only fun thing I did this past week. I also went to an event called Sip and Shop sponsored by the CCC where I will be moving. It was a fashion show in an upscale store that was all marble, glass and chrome. I don’t know if champagne and yummy appetizers are served at all fashion shows because fashion and shopping are not my thing but I wanted to go because the other invited guests are my future neighbors, and I’m jumping into these get-to-know-each-other games full throttle. My wardrobe is so outdated it’s practically back in the last century so I decided to buy a new top to wear. I found one I liked but after getting it home I was bummed out that what I thought was a small black and white pattern was really navy blue and white. The only thing I have in my closet that is navy blue is a pair of underpants and underwear don’t have to coordinate with blouses in my world unless maybe I’m going to a doctor’s office. I looked at the calendar, breathed a sigh of relief that I could still wear white. So I paired the stupid blouse made for younger people with better eye sight with white pants and black sandals and called it good enough. 

I had a great time, laughed a lot and was the source of a lot of laughter because I couldn’t keep my sense of humor under wraps. If you care about the fashion trends coming here’s what you need to know to be in with the in crowd: Fake fur paired with tweets and animal prints are going to be everywhere. Dark floral prints are also going to be hot as well as blazers. And ankle length dresses and more fitted waist lines are coming to get us again. Someone did ask about the white-after-Labor-Day rule and, yes you can wear it. But you have to pair the white with heavier weight stuff like sweaters, scarfs or boots and put your scandals and airy fabrics away.

I really like the management team for the CCC. I'm trying my best to just be me around these people and my future neighbors, not the filtered Jean I usually show the world. So far, so good. One of the ladies from higher up in management than the two I usually deal with came over afterward and introduced herself and said, "I won't forget you." Why, you ask? Because I was in a wise-cracking mood and called out stuff like, "Now she looks like she just had sex" when they were demonstrating how a hair product "puffs up" limp hair. The model was quick-witted and replied, "You've been talking to my husband haven't you!" which had everyone laughing. Like I said I had a good time and I needed that. ©