Using the letter E for the A to Z Blog Challenge was another hard choice for me, but I settled on writing about education. It fits with my overall theme of things that have shaped me. But then, can’t we all say that about our education, or lack thereof, to one degree or another?
My mom and dad never made it to high school, but they were both well educated in the ways the world works. Their generation were avid newspaper readers; my mom also read a lot of fiction. My dad was self‑taught, mechanical and could fix anything. That doesn’t sound all that impressive to the Google‑it generation, who can get how‑to directions or step‑by‑step videos for things Dad’s generation had to figure out by instinct, logic and trial and error.
In my generation, finishing high school was more the norm, and I did, but I’d be the first to admit I didn’t do all that well in school. In grade school I struggled with mild, undiagnosed dyslexia paired with being left‑handed in a school where a couple of teachers tried to change the latter or pronounced me “stupid” because of the former. Today schools don’t do that, and I’ll let AI explain why: “Forcing a left-handed child to use their right hand disrupts natural brain development, often causing emotional distress, academic confusion, and neurological stress. Common consequences include reduced coordination, stuttering, dyslexia-like issues, shyness, and lower self-esteem. Handedness is rooted in brain wiring, not just habit.”
I struggled with reading and had a hard time keeping up in classes that required keeping my nose in a book. Thankfully, I excelled at art, mechanical drawing, home ec and math, so my average got me accepted—probationally—into college. There, I had to take what we students called Dumbbell English.
Something happened that summer between high school and college. It was as if the two sides of my brain quit warring over control, and I aced both semesters of Dumbbell English. It might also be because the class gave us all a fresh start without the preconceived opinions of our intelligence or lack thereof. I’ve had two outstanding teachers in my life, and the woman who taught that course was one of them. I still have the worn and tattered books we used those semesters: Basic Composition and Clear and Correct Writing.
Note to my nieces: If you ever have to move me out of Independent Living and into Memory Care, make sure these books go with me. They’ve always been my benchmarks, reminding me that I’m not stupid or dumb—words no child should ever hear an adult, much less a teacher, label them.
One of the guys who lives in my building offered me a watercolor set of his wife’s shortly after she had to go to Memory Care. “She doesn’t use them,” he said. I told him to leave them in her room unless she asks him to take them away. “She’s been an artist her whole life,” I went on. “On her good days, she probably still thinks of herself as an artist, and seeing the watercolor set could help with that.” I’m a firm believer in keeping benchmarks around for people struggling to remember who they are.
The other outstanding teacher in my life taught a class called Women in Transition that I took twenty‑three years later. It was a required, no‑credit course for—yes—older women going back to college to finish their degrees. Had I stayed in college back in the ’60s, it would have taken only a year to graduate, assuming I didn’t flunk out, which was a possibility given the fact that I had left all the heavy‑reading courses for my senior year and was still struggling with the slow-reader bugaboo. But between the ’60s and the ’80s they added a bunch more required classes, so it took me two years to finally graduate. The day I walked across the stage to get my diploma was one of the top two happiest days of my life.
If you want to hear about the other happiest day, you’ll have to come back on the 9th, when the letter H will be my muse. And no, it’s not about my wedding day. ©

I hate when adults call children stupid. There are so many ways one can be a genius. Not all of them academic. (My grandfather was proud of being a printer and proofreader for the newspaper he worked for. I believe he didn't even get to high school. Might be one of the reasons he tried to sabotage my grandmother when she went back and eventually got her Ed.D.)
ReplyDeleteI was so lucky that my husband bent over backward to support me and help me go back to college.
DeleteWhile adults will more than likely forget it, children will ALWAYS remember things like that. I still remember certain unkind things said to me from DECADES ago.
DeleteAgreed and even though you know it wasn't true, those labels given to kids seep into your adult lives.
DeleteDumbbell English, huh? Thankful I missed that one. Sorry teachers weren't kinder to you.
ReplyDelete(On the sign-up, you noted you don't know what "pronoun" means. It's how one refers to someone, and might indicate gender identity. As we're all online, sometimes people aren't sure. "She wrote an interesting post." Well, if the "she" being mentioned isn't a female, that can be tricky. Happens to me online, and with a few gym teachers in middle and high school who call EVERYONE ladies. But offline, ha ha, no, no one has ever mistaken me for a female. In my culture, Lenni means Original - the Lenni Lenape are translated as the Original People-- but, apparently, the vowel "i" means female to some people? I don't know where that concept comes from, but there you go. Anyway, to try to avoid any online awkward situations, the A to Z team offers a chance for people to leave a note as to their pronoun preferences. Some people prefer not to have any such part of speech used, which is also a valid but verbose choice.)
“Life shrinks or expands according to one’s courage.” - Anaïs Nin
J (he/him 👨🏽 or 🧑🏽 they/them) @JLenniDorner ~ Speculative Fiction & Reference Author and Co-host of the April Blogging #AtoZChallenge international blog hop
I learn something new every day. Thanks for being today's teacher. I knew, of course (or thought I knew) that some people prefer gender neutral pronouns but I wasn't sure what to check box to check in my case.
DeleteOccasionally, I'll run into a problem when I address a multi-sex group as "you guys." I explain that was how I was raised in the Northeast. "Guys" was a pretty generic term. It's similar to "y'all." Although, I tend to NOT use it much anymore.
DeleteI still use 'you guys.' I suppose it's a generalization thing.
DeleteSince I didn't do as well, as I should have in Algebra I, I wasn't able to move on to Geometry the next year. Instead, I had to take something called "Topics in Algebra and Geometry." We called it (quite cruelly, I might add as I've gotten older), "Mental Math."
ReplyDeleteAs I've matured (age-wise, not psychologically), I've come to embrace the chance to learn anything new).
I almost feel sorry for people in my peer age group who don't embrace retirement as a chance to learn new things. Living in an Independent Living facility I see a lot of people like that. But they seem to be happy so who am I to judge?
DeleteEven though I may be accused of giving up (after all, I just started wearing suspenders), the book isn't closed on me yet.
DeleteLOL
DeleteI'm glad you finally had some teachers who encouraged and inspired you. That was awful how uneducated some teachers were about things that affected students. Good for you getting your degree!
ReplyDeleteGetting a degree, finally, was good for my self-esteem and in the end, that's why it was important for me to do.
DeleteI’m glad it all worked out for you despite early negativity from folks. Great advice about the paints!
ReplyDeleteIf truth were told, it probably worked out better because I spent my whole adult life learning how to write, stubbornly trying to prove that I am not stupid.
DeleteAnd learn to write you did! Yours is the only blog I have read continuously since I found you. Your blog is like a letter from a friend who has interesting opinions and makes details of daily life sound like adventures.
DeleteYou should have seen some of my letters before Alex came along. To this day she has to spell words for me each and every day when I write. Thank you for your kind words and for following me! Your tea pot painting is still inspiring me in my art corner.
DeleteI loved school! Home was rather chaotic (7 kids in 11 years!) and school was something of a refuge for me. Plus I loved reading, and read pretty fast, so while we were reading aloud in class, I had already finished that story and would be reading another story. Occasionally I would get so involved in the story I was reading, I would forget to pay attention to the story the class was reading, and it would be my turn to read out loud and I wouldn't know where we were. Oops! I never got in too much trouble, it was mainly embarrassment, and it was a major relief when I finally realized, in high school, that I would not actually DIE of embarrassment.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness embarrassment isn't a disease we can die from or we'd all be died before getting to high school. I still struggle pronouncing some words because I sight read rather than sounding them out. Never did get the hang of that. But I quit being embarrassed when I mover here and admitted I had a learning disability as a kid. In book club if there is something to be read out loud, I'll say, "I don't read out loud in public." And they accept that, no big deal.
DeleteI envy you your ability to read fast.
This is fun and interesting. I, too, am a leftie as is my younger daughter, and she is a bit dyslexic as well. Luckily she had her ace teacher in Grade 1 and never had problems being put down. You were a strong kid, obviously, and I love your writing style and polish.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I try hard.
DeleteTeachers could really make or break you even when my kids were in school. Hopefully not so much now. My math brain took a long time to mature, but finally put in an appearance when I was in college in my 30s.
ReplyDeleteI had to take four semesters of various types of math when I went back to college and aced those courses but sadly, my math skills are quickly leaving the building. Our brains aren't always ready for the 'standard' courses when they are taught.
DeleteMy Dad only got a Grade School yet Poor "Education" at the Indian Boarding Schools, they put them to work by Age 5 and called it an "Education". On Mom's Side my Gran-Gran was completely Illiterate coz the Gypsies didn't sent their kids to School back then, some still don't send the Girls. My Maternal Nanna was College Educated, so was my Mom, and both were some of the most Intelligent and Educated Women I've ever met, I didn't think there was anything they didn't know a LOT about. They probably had high IQ like the Grandson does? I was Smart in School and got great Grades, but I couldn't tell Time until I was almost in Jr. High and I had bad ADHD so Teachers had a hard time with me, I couldn't stay focused or be Still, and if I was Bored, I checked out of the Lesson completely. And I Bored easily coz my Attention Span, to this day, needs lots of stimulation or I can't be bothered even trying to Focus. *LOL* I did great with the little College I did, Paid for by my Employers, and did well in both Corporate Lives in spite of not having Higher Education that most of my Peers had. I Credit my Mentors for "Educating" me and giving me a great Education that even Money couldn't Buy.
ReplyDelete