“Not in Assisted Living (Yet): Dispatches from the Edge of Independence!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean
Showing posts with label radios. Show all posts
Showing posts with label radios. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

iPods and Vacillating Widows


Have you ever bought something then wished you’d gotten a different model? I just did. I bought an iPod Nano 7th generation and after shopping accessories I wish I’d gotten the 6th generation because you can turn them into neat watches with after-market wristbands and the clock app. They sell a cheaper silicone wristband for the 7th generation but who wants to look like you’re wearing a credit card on your wrist? I never guessed that going smaller than a credit card could actually be an advantage, or that someday I’d own a tiny device that could play pod casts, movies, books or hold a thousand songs and also be a voice recorder or a radio for when I’m out walking. I love the recorder app because I get a lot of good ideas when on the nature trails and this device will keep me from forgetting stuff.

In my garage I have a 14” x 20” radio built when radio stations first started broadcasting in the early 1920s and it was popular to send away for tubes, knobs, wires and plans to build a radio to receive their signals. It has earphones the size of the Titanic to listen in private and a horn style speaker to use for group listening. The speaker stands two foot tall and was designed by Thomas Edison himself. Amazing isn’t it, the technological changes that take place in roughly 100 years. I can’t wait until the next little kid comes over for ‘show and tell’ so I can compare my new iPod to the walnut radio. If I was tech savvy enough I’d figure out a way to hook the iPod up to the two foot tall horn speaker then go out walking with that combo in tow. That would be a head turner, wouldn’t it? I know someone who took a 100 year old manual typewriter and turned it into a computer keyboard. It’s mind-boggling what kids can do these days.

Lately I’ve been vacillating between feeling like I have a lot of quality time ahead for new goals and panicking because I feel like time in running out. Back and forth I go. The reevaluation of priorities and options that most widows seem go through in their second year out has me back on the train to Crazyville. And still other times I think the Prime Country radio station is conspiring to tie me to the tracks as an approaching train is coming at full speed. Yesterday on my way to the grocery story Clint Black was singing, “There’s no time to kill between the cradle and the grave.” No shit, Sherlock! Too bad you didn’t tell me that fifty-sixty years ago. I’ve wasted too much time in my life.

“Father Time still takes a toll on every minute that you save
Legal tender's never gonna change the number on your days
The highest cost of livin's dyin', that's one everybody pays
So have it spent before you get the bill, there's no time to kill.”

Even the March weather seems to mirror my vacillating moods. Two days ago it was like spring. Today I’m looking at five inches of snow outside my window. I want spring! I want clear and solid decisions regarding what I want my future to look like. But then again maybe I’m putting too much pressure on myself. Maybe life is meant to be fluid and flowing from one place to another, less structured and free of stressful decisions and schedules.

“But I can look ahead and see that time ain't standin' still
No time to kill but time to change the kind of hurry I've been in
And quit this work and worry lookin' back at where I've been
You don’t look ahead nobody will, no time to kill, no time to kill.”

I almost wished I’d heard those lyrics before I bought the iPod. Do you know how much time you can kill at iTunes? How do I get myself into time robbing stuff like this when I have other dragons to slay? Four years ago President Obama gave Queen Elizabeth II a personalized iPod that has video capabilities---she already had one that had audio and had expressed a desire to upgrade. He took a lot of criticism from Republicans for giving that gift but from all accounts, she loved it. It’s comforting to know I’m not the only old woman on the planet who lusted after an iPod. I only wish I had the staff she has to upload music into the tiny thing! I just want to play it, not spend my life setting it up, and I’ll bet my husband’s uncle felt the exact, same way when he built the radio that sits in the garage. The more things change, the more they stay the same. ©

Painting above:  Salvado Dali's Persistence of Memory 1931