Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

In January of 2012 my soul mate of 42 years passed away after nearly 12 years of living with severe disabilities due to a stroke. I survived the first year after Don’s death doing what most widows do---trying to make sense of my world turned upside down. The pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties are well documented in this blog.

Now that I’m a "seasoned widow" the focus of my writing has changed. I’m still a widow looking through that lens but I’m also a woman searching for contentment, friends and a voice in my restless world. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. I say I just write about whatever passes through my days---the good, bad and the double-ass ugly. Comments welcome! Jean

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Doctors, Dentist and Widows on Diets



The dog got a tooth pulled and his teeth cleaned and what a little sissy he turned out to be. All afternoon he alternated between pacing the floor and sitting at my feet baying like there was a full moon outside and it was his job to let everyone know. Even though the post-surgical instructions were pretty clear I called the vet hospital back to make sure the schedule for pain medication was correct. It was. No pill for Levi until bedtime. Today he’s back to normal and for just under $400.00 we now have a set of before and after color photos of doggie teeth to hang on the refrigerator along with Levi’s tiny, blue ACE bandage from where they gave him assorted intravenous fluids. I got my teeth cleaned this week, too, but I didn’t get before and after photos. Why not? WHY! That’s my burning question for today.

What I did get, though, was high praise from my internist when I saw him for my bi-annual check up. He’s the one I’ve been sending fatty-fatty-two-by-four accountability e-mails to each month regarding the healthier eating plan/diet I’ve been on. He wanted me to lose the pound-a-month I put on during my first seven months of widowhood and I did that plus ten more. The main thing he wanted me to do, though, is to stop the grief induced binge eating I’d been doing when I saw him last fall. Mission accomplished! I ought to have a gold star covered widowhood report card to hang on the refrigerator for that, don’t you think? I just wish I could get the doctor to agree that I need to start sending him accountability reports to get my retail therapy binges under control. I traded in my comfort food binges for an addiction to kitchen gadgets and Crocs.

My annual check up with my allergist was this week, too, and he drew a conclusion that involved my widowhood. Isn’t that too cute for words? All of 2010 and seven months into 2011 I suffered with chronic hives. He, my internist and a specialist on autoimmune diseases were unable to pinpoint the cause and they went away as mysteriously as they started. It’s the same pattern every time hives plague me for months on end which has happened five times in my life. Allergists ask a 100 and one questions about your environment and life so I had to tell him about Don when he said, "Are you sure nothing has changed in your life since our last appointment?"  Thus the twit concluded that since I didn’t get the hives back after Don died then we can “officially rule out stress” as being the cause or a contributing factor in my bouts with hives. Jeez, I could have told him that considering I didn’t get them when Don first had his stroke or when my mother and dad died, but what do I know? Now it's officially written in stone on my computerized medical records for every doctor and nurse in the city and assorted others across the nation to read: “Husband’s death did not cause chronic urticaria to return.” What a surreal experience that was to hear him dictate that little tidbit into my records. Here's another gold star for your report card, widow lady. ©



Widowhood Report Card for 15 months Out
Widowhood Challenge
Accomplished!
Gold Star for You!
Shows Improvement
Silver Star
Bad Girl
Back Sliding




Crying under Control
check


Melancholy Moods Lifting

check

Binge Eating Under Control
check


Didn’t get grief induced hives
check


Moving Forward
Emotionally

check

Loneliness factor

check

Finding Friends


check
Controlling
Retail Therapy


check
Happiness Level

check

Keeping Busy
check



8 comments:

  1. Geez Louise. To think you're 15 months out! I'm impressed that you've left the "This is never going to end" club. Gold star for your writing, Jean. Tear drop for that retail therapy, unless, of course, you deserve all those amazing things you've bought. You do, don't you?

    Give my best to Levi.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you! In all honesty, I don't feel guilty or bad about the extra spending I've been doing. Now that I've FINALLY taken an interest in cook, I need better gadgets.

    Levi isn't too happy now. The vet put him on a diet. He has to lose 1 1/2 pounds and I have to measure out his food. If it would ever quit raining here, we could walk that much off before his next appointment.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jean :

    I like your spreadsheet, your organization skills& writing should get gold star.

    Asha

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks, Asha. Old habits die hard. Organizational skills has always been one of my best assets. Hope you and your family are doing good. Your son must be old enough for college by now?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. jean :

      don't rush. he is in 10th grade right now, in 2 years he will be off to college & I will need to find myself again. I don't like this change & growing old business lol. though what my stroke taught me is change is not necessarily bad something better always come out if we stop resisting life & go with flow. hope you find joy soon too.

      Asha

      Asha

      Delete
    2. Treasure the next two years, then. You'll have a lot to look forward after that, too...watching him grow into a man and eventually a father.

      Delete
  5. We are sorry we haven't posted any comments lately. Mama and Papa are taking care of Jessy again. This is a long visit - ten days. Mama has survived the first week with Jessy and I (Hershey).

    We hope Levi is doing better after his getting his teeth cleaned.

    Love -

    Hershey and Kaci

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Hershey and Kaci! Levi says to tell you that he is fine now but the vet did "mean things" to him. I think he's mad because the vet put him on a diet to lose a pound or two and kept the tooth she pulled. I guess he wanted it back. LOL

    ReplyDelete