Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

The Sexy Tech and Other Tempting Things



I spent four and a half days being a post-surgical toad so Tuesday I ventured out of the house to go to the grocery store. I didn’t need anything that couldn’t have waited a week, but I did need to test my driving and the store is only five miles away using the back roads. (It went fine, by the way.) That morning I had hit a low on the bathroom scales that I hadn’t seen in five years---yippee-I-a!---and I was in the mood to take a break from my diet. I looked at cakes and cookies and ice cream but I rejected them all. Then a 1.75 oz. bag of potato chips found its way into my shopping cart and after I ate them in the car before going home I wondered why I sabotaged myself like that. Oh, but those carbs and salt sure tasted good after a month plus of being on a high protein diet of two shakes and one ‘colorful’ meal a day. I was feeling slightly light-headed when I was standing in the checkout lane and I grabbed that bag of chips, telling myself I needed the sodium. But I had made it that far into my shopping trip without making any bad choices. So I will call the trip to the store an ‘A-’ on the Be-a-Good-Girl test.   

There’s a business I found online called 911-POOP that claims to have francizes all over the country including where I live. I was looking for a service that cleans out dog runs, thinking I could talk them into not only picking up poop in Levi’s pen this winter but also shoveling the snow out once a week. The pen is three steps off the deck and there is no way I can drag my little snow blower down there. I called Monday morning but by Wednesday afternoon they hadn’t returned my call. What good is having an answering service if you’re not going to use it? If I don’t hear back from them soon I’m calling 1 (800) WAA-WAAA next. I can always go to Plan B and stand by the open overhead garage door with Levi on a retractable leash to do his business where my driveway plower has been, but that’s not ideal. Aside from the yuck factor at the front of the house, he’s used to his routine and so am I. On the way home from the grocery store I stopped by the pet store to check out their bulletin board. No luck. I didn’t find a dog run cleaning service posted. I have shoveled snow since I could walk. I actually like doing it. I can’t believe my surgeon won’t let me do it this year! Other than that flaw, the man is near perfect even if he did give me three new scars last Thursday.

Today a nice looking young guy with spiky hair and designer sunglasses propped on the top of his head came to my door. He was wearing a black leather vest with a million pockets like cameramen or fishermen wear. Have I ever mentioned that I’m a sucker for those vests? I have long promised myself I’d own one if I ever get to be a skinny-Minnie. Or if I ever get so poor I have to live on the streets, I want one of those vests. And if I ever go to a nursing home I want one of those vests so I can carry with me all the things I don’t want stolen from my room. When my husband’s mother was in a nursing home half our visiting time was spent tracking down the stuff the resident “shoplifters” carried back to their own rooms---her teeth, her glasses, her shoes and underwear included.

One and half hours later the young man left my house and my whole laundry list of computer issues had been resolved. It was worth every bit of the $150 it cost me. Some of the issues were left over from my Month in Computer Hell last fall that I could never have worked out on my own.  I can now scan photos and file them. I can now edit photos. And I can print a webpage without going through a stupid cloud. Whoever thought that was a good idea for a computer default is crazy. Does anyone really want to send their bank statements to a cloud hovering over God-knows-where just to get a hard copy for your files? Not me. Anyway, my tech world was set right again and the young man who did it all is lucky I didn’t try to steal his vest. It he had been fifty years older I probably would have flirted with him long enough to get that vest off him so I could try it on. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a black leather pocket vest and it was damn sexy! He was damn sexy which only goes to prove that I might be old but I’m not dead yet. ©

14 comments:

  1. Glad you got your computer back on track and I'm even more happy that you got to look at some eye candy. The vest and the guy wearing the vest. Good for you.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  2. well you go girlfriend! nice!

    smiles, bee
    xoxoxoxoxo

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  3. Your nursing home scenario reminded me of when Fred's mother was in one. There was an old guy in a wheel chair and while residents were down playing Bingo ro whatever, he'd go in their rooms and steal their stuff. The aides constantly had to dig stuff out of the sides of his wheel chair and his room. Fred's Mother got so mad, that she crocheted a long five row chain. When she left her room, she put is across her door and the guy never went into her room again. HAH

    As for the sexy tech--what a great way to spend a morning :-)

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  4. Judy, I guess every place has patients like that. It was very frustrating. Any nice gift Don's mother got quickly disappeared and you never really knew if it was the aids or the residents responsible.

    Bee and Sandee: The eye candy was especially welcome now since I can't have the regular kind. LOL.

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  5. LOL I love my repair guys, too. Some of them are so cute and nice. I think they see their grandma when they look at me. Glad you got your computer woes solved and hope you can resolve the doggie/snow issue soon. There's a lot to think about when you live alone.

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    1. I do think many of them see their grandmothers in us older women and that's good...if they like their grandmas. This tech only does house calls for the shop where I usually take things in. He says he goes to mostly businesses and homes of elderly people and he gave me his personal cell phone so I can call him direct. When he left I gave him a check for the service and a ten dollar bill and told him go buy himself some lunch. He really seemed surprised and pleased by that. At $100 an hour, I doubt he gets many tips. LOL

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    2. My husband drove a box truck after he retired. He delivered all manner of things. He almost never got a tip, but he said that sometimes an older lady would try to press a few one-dollare bills into his hand. He would try not to take it, but they usually won. Older ladies don't take no for an answer. I think we are appreciative of good service, especially those of us who live alone and have to fend for ourselves.

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    3. I went to a junk yard for heavy equipment with my husband once where he and the owners removed some parts that Don wanted to buy to fix one of his loaders. For the most part I stayed in the truck reading but when we got ready to leave, and Don paid the guy, the guy handed me a twenty and told me to pick up some dinner on the way home. He said I shouldn't have to cook after spending the afternoon in a junk yard. LOL Nice guy and I never forgot how good that made me feel to have my time spent acknowledge like that. Unexpected tips do make you feel good.

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  6. Plan B for Levi will work. I mean, you're on Plan B for the duration, so why not share the glory? Would he still get to cavort in the snow, or would this privilege by the wayside, too? I DO hope 911- POOP calls. Maybe your vet has employees who would moonlight, cleaning the dog pen at your house? Maybe not for $100/hour...

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    1. The idea of calling the vet is a great idea. 911-POOP never did call back. Levi is so short that when the snow gets too deep he won't go out in it.

      Can you believe $100 an hour? That's close to what my doctor charges!

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  7. CONGRATULATIONS on the weight loss! If you want it back, I know where it landed ...

    Also call some local doggie day care places ... or visit ... as they may have a bulletin board with pooper scooper services. We would do that every spring in our yard since I didn't keep up with it during the winter.

    I need to get my computer tuned up. Since I installed the latest operating system everything is i-n s--l--o--w m---o---t---i---o---n

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  8. Keeping weight off is SO hard, even harder than losing it in the first place, at least for me. Thanks for the suggestion!

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  9. Sexy leather … yep, can just picture it. I think that computer might need regular tune ups. :)

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    1. Ya, and he gave me his personal cell number in case I have questions or want to get him without going through the company.

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