Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, December 4, 2024

After Thanksgiving Netflix Binging


I've been writing some dark and depressing stuff since the election so I'm turning over a new leaf and vowing that this post will make us all want to poop glitter and grab moon beams to wipe ourselves. Scratch that visual. I don't know where it came from. What I meant to say is I plan to write a throw-away post that doesn't make anyone think beyond sugar plums and candy canes and other stuff that should be occupying our minds this time a year and since Netflix holiday movies falls into that category I'm going to share some reviews of films I've been watching in my planned attack against the holiday blues taking up residence inside my head. But before getting to them I want to review of a limited Netflix series I saw this week called Man on the Inside. Not a holiday movie but appropriate in an old person's blog. 

It was recommended by a fellow blogger, Donna, over at My View From Here and it stars Ted Danson as a man who moves into an independent living facility like mine, only we don't have the happy hour craziness shown in the series or have guys who walk around in suits---not even our CEO wears one. Donna wrote that she was worried the series "might be full of offensive ageist jokes." But instead she found it was full of "realities that were funny, but never mean-spirited or stereotypical. People were portrayed as PEOPLE," she said "with all manner of gifts and gaffs, all just trying to find love, friendship, and connection. It's funny and poignant and always respectful." I admire Donna and love her blog but I was not as impressed as she was by this eight episode series. Okay, maybe I'm jaded but it bothered me that the director of the place was portrayed as a gossip whose character lacked professionalism. I get that the writers were using her for many of their laugh lines but the staff where I live don't tell tales out of school. 

Donna also commented about Ted's character trying to help a person on the edge of getting moved into a dementia wing and how she couldn't understand why the other resident's pulled away from the woman. To me, that was spot on to what happens. Since moving to my continuum care campus I've known four or five people who had to move on down the line and those who rally around someone dealing with dementia number about the same as those of us who pull away. And it's not always the same people who rally around or pull away in the months leading up to the downward spirals. I've done my share of avoiding getting deeper involved with needy people---people I didn't especially like before their mental decline became obvious. But I also go out of my way to help a few others here who are trying to hang on to reality. Whose to say why any of us pick and choose who to rally around (aka end up 'babysitting' when their spouse needs a trip to the store) and who pulls away (aka guards our time because we got burned out caring for loved ones when they crossed over to needing 24/7 supervision. I chalk it up the the Law of Universal Grace i.e. you give it when you can and you get it back when you most need it. According to the Artificial Intelligence "thing" that seems to be popping up in my searches lately 'giving grace' is defined as "to give grace to someone is showing kindness, understanding, and forgiveness, even when they may not deserve it. It is an act of compassion and mercy." Grace is big part of the culture at the continuum care facilitates in my limited experiences.

Now on to Christmas movies: As I've mentioned in an earlier post I've been watching a holiday movie every night for about ten days now. Along with a little Black Friday shopping/beat the tariffs shopping, the movies are part of a "Find my Christmas Spirit Project." I wrote and deleted four reviews of holiday movies that I thought were too outlandish and stupid, the kind I'd give two thumbs down on if Netflix let us. In the spirit of season I'm passing up bashing them and will---as the song says---accentual the positive instead.

One movie I like I also wondered if it's like Die Hard ---the movie people argue about every year---"Best Christmas movie ever!" says fans of this action/adventure films while others say it's a movie set on Christmas Eve and that's its only relationship to a holiday film. El Camino Christmas was released in 2017 but it's a new one for me. The premise of this movie is a young guy goes on "an impulsive journey to find the father he never knew, his search takes him to the remote desert town of El Camino, Nevada" where he gets trapped in a liquor store on Christmas Eve during an alleged robbery and a police stand off. He bonds with a few strangers in the store, one of which he eventually falls in love with, and another character (played by Tim Allen) turns out to be his father." The main characters all had some depth to them and while it had almost as many bullets flying as in Die Hard I'm adding it to my list of holiday movies I want to see again. Why? Because in addition to liking the characters Tim Allen has some lines referencing old Christmas movies that I think will be funnier the second time around.

The other holiday movie I liked this season was Feast of the Seven Fishes, released in 2019 but also new to me. My reasons for liking it might not appeal to others. It caught my attention because it follows a large Italian family living in a coal mining community as they prepare for a catholic tradition of only eating fish on Christmas Eve. My dad grew up in a coal mine town where his Italian, immigrant uncles and aunts also lived and the way the uncles in the movie interacted as they cooked together brought back a few ancient memories of my great uncles. My dad also had an anchovy dip recipe in his head that he'd try to make from time to time that came from Christmas Eve dinners of his youth. As I watched the movie I kept thinking this family could have been my extended family. The story, the characters and the subplot romance in the film felt totally authentic to me. And this year, especially, I need that in my entertainment.

Until Next Wednesday. ©

 

 

 

 

39 comments:

  1. I sure like thinking about the Law of Universal Grace--what a beautiful concept. And everyone needs a little more glitter and moonbeams--Jean, you make me smile.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've always loved the song Amazing Grace and those of you who are long time reader here know I'm not the a religious person. But I think about Grace a lot, and how it comes to us and who deserves ours.

      Delete
    2. I also love your Law of Universal Grace. One definitely doesn't need to be religious to appreciate and practice it!

      Delete
  2. An interesting collection of shows. My husband liked Man on the Inside and suggested I watch it but I haven’t yet. The other two also sound good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad when they make movies featuring older people. It's a demograph that isn't represented as main characters often enough in films.

      Delete
  3. I really liked Man On The Inside, but then again, I'm a huge Ted Danson fan. I found it charming and well-written. I liked that it didn't employ a lot of stereotypes about elderly people, and it had something to say beyond the comedy and the basic plot of the story.

    Then again, I don't have the same perspective as you do. Obviously, that makes a big difference.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I loved Ted Danson on Cheers and have a hard time seeing him as anyone other than Sam. But he sure looks good in that movie, he's aged well.

      You make a good point about the movie having something to say beyond the comedy. But did see stereotypes, especially in the female characters. In all fairness, though, I saw people I live with in those characters so I guess that mean the stereotypes held true. Sometimes stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason.

      Delete
  4. I heard that the Danson was based on a real-life event/person/situation. I like him but since I don't have Netflix, I don't have to worry about watching! However, the Fishes film sounds like a good one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was based on a real-life event. He was working under cover to find out who stole a family heirloom from one of the residents. The ladies in that independent living facility wore a lot of bling and that is true here as well. I'd rather spend my money on art supplies and collectibles. I suppect the same is true about you.

      Delete
  5. I liked The Man on the Inside and wondered if they were setting it up for a sequel or series by the end. I'm not a big fan of Christmas movies as they often seem so cheesy to me like Hallmark movies.
    Whatever makes you happy and lifts your spirits is fine with me, tho, so enjoy your Christmas movies, Jean!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought the same thing, that Man on the Inside was set up for a series except the writers would have to change it to him moving in for real because you can only look for a thief just so long.

      You are totally right about Christmas movies being cheesy and the only time of the year I like the Hallmark and Hallmark-like movies is at Christmas time. I don't know if it's my mood this year or the crop of movies this year have substandard plots but they aren't doing it for me like they usually do. Still waiting for my favorites---Holiday and It's a Wonderful Life and another I can't remember the name of but is about a boy in the fifties who gets a be-be gun and his dad gets the classic leg lamp.

      Delete
  6. Thanks for the shout out. I did like Man on the Inside AND I don' t have your first hand experience living in a communal residence for older people. It must be similar to my husband watching medical shows -- not realistic down to the last detail, but still entertaining with enough reality to make it relatable as well. Same for social worker shows that I've seen that aren't quite my professoinal experience, but often come close enough. I don't recall questioning why some people would pull away from those entering dementia care, but I may have in my FB post. I certainly understand the tendency since I cared for my mother with dementia and it's hard. I think we turn away from that which scares us too. I just hope I'd be able to offer some degree of support and caring, as the Danson character did in the show. Now....on to Holiday Movies. Netflix Hot Frosty -- totally silly and I smiled throughout anyway. Merry Gentlemen on Netflix too. Saw a couple on Hallmark that were basically unwatchable. Always a crap-shoot with the formulaic plots and sometimes less than stellar acting. Happy viewing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't dislike Man on the Inside, I just didn't love it as much as you did. I'd rate it a 7- on a scale of 1 to 10. I think it was in your Facebook post rather than your blog where you questioned why some people pull away. It was just the one line that I picked up on and ran with.

      I have to laugh at your liking Hot Frosty. That's one of the movies I wrote a negative review of and deleted it. And I think that had more to do with the casting than the plot. To me, he looked like a little boy and not "hot" at all. Merry Gentlemen wasn't too bad, at least I didn't feel the need to bash it like some of the others I've send. I'm guessing my mood this season is coloring how I am receiving the holiday movies this year. Love how the blogs let us compare our reactions to this kind of stuff.

      Delete
    2. Holiday movies really are dependent on mood. I hated all but one that I watched last year. LOL This year I'm feeling a bit more forgiving. So far. LOL

      Delete
  7. I'd love to poop glitter and wipe with moonbeams 😂! But I just paid a few hundred dollars to get my toilet repaired so I'll have to abstain, lest the glitter causes more problems. Thanks for the reviews, Jean - I will add those shows to my list of what to watch!

    Deb

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the laugh. Now I'm visualizing my toilet bowl covered in glitter.

      Delete
  8. As a coincidence, I happened to watch Man on the Inside last night. I thought it was funny that the Virginia character (played by Sally Struthers) asked him if that was all his own hair. He said yes, but it's been pretty much common knowledge that in real life he has worn a bit of a toupee for years to blend in where he had hair loss.

    I don't remember if it was mentioned how long his wife in the show had been gone, but if he were a real widower looking like he does, he would have been inundated with women wanting to date him. That's reality. I told my daughter the other day that the old guy who was living out of his truck at the park a few years ago seemed to be a "chick magnet" with all the older women who flocked around him wanting to "help." Go figure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I, too, wondered it was his own hair. He looked pretty good for his age. We have a woman here who makes sure to introduce herself to all the new men that cross our lobby. I called her the ambassador in past posts. She's had three husbands and claims not to want another. Still, she gets teased.. and has been on a couple of dates with outside vendors. We have a single guy living here who dates but he gets hooked up with women his daughter sets up for him. Does not get involved with any of the women here. Smart guy.

      Delete
  9. I saw both of those movies. The Ted Danson one was a surprise to me I liked it. I also saw what I fear the most. Being in that type of facility. I may have to suck it up but really don't wish to. But.....
    The 7 fishes I could relate to all too well. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you make up your mind that you're going to dive right into the culture of places like this you might be surprised how well you'd like it. The ones who come in with a chip on their shoulders about being here---mostly the one whose kids talked them into it for their personal safety or loneliness---have a hard time because they set themselves off to the sidelines, thinking they are different than their peers.

      Delete
  10. Ok a few things here I have never heard of till now, maybe that's because I don't watch Netflix, they do sound ok though

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. These movies can be found on other streaming services. Netflixs is just the one I have.

      Delete
  11. I haven't reached the pooping glitter stage so I will be Debbie Downer. Might like the Danson one, hits close to home and I don't have Netflix. I can't watch anything (including reruns) with Tim Allen anymore because he is such a jerk. And I'm a catholic struggling with the church so I would probably be yelling at the screen. I did just watch Barbara Stanwick in Christmas in Connecticut and my favorite Christmas movie, Desk Set with Katharine Hepburn.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, that's an old one with Barbara Stanwick! Tim Allen played a drunk---a much different role than I've seen him in. I'm neither a fan or a foe of him. The 'fishes' movie didn't have a lot of churchy stuff in it----just one Christmas eve scene with a beautiful song sang.

      Delete
  12. Do I ever have a coincidence for you! This morning while reading the daily blog of an artist I follow, I was interested in his presentation of Pieter Bruegel the Elder's 1559 painting titled "Netherlandish Proverbs." The painting contains depictions of over 120 proverbs or idioms used by the Dutch at the time. One of them was " “He who eats fire, craps sparks." It looks like your saying about glitter poop would have been appreciated 465 years ago! What goes around, comes around, and all that.

    Pretty soon it will be time for me to pull out my favorite holiday movie: "A Christmas Story." It's time for Christmas music, too -- not the schlock in the malls, but good music: ancient carols and such. Well, and the Grinch. I love the Grinch. He finally learned the meaning of grace, too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Christmas Story is the movie I was trying to think of in another comment...the boy who got his tongue stuck on a pole in the winter and got a bebe gun for Christmas.

      That is funny about eating fire and crapping sparks. I'm surprised the word 'crap' was used that far back as a euphemism for bowel movement.

      Delete
  13. Thank you for the recommendations and reviews. Very helpful. I plan to watch all with my housebound Mom. Sports, Aliens, Violence, Sex, Fantasy or Horror are not entertaining for a nearly 90 year-old. Always enjoy your posts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! We have a lot of late 80s/ early 90 year olds who watch the Hallmark channel non stop.

      Delete
  14. I liked Man on the Inside. I wasn't sure at first, but they did have some heartwarming incidents. I'll check to see if the others have Spanish subtitles. That's one of my main criteria now, except for the Great British Baking Show.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I used to kid all the time that I wanted to learn Spanish so I could talk to my caregivers when I got old. Well, I got old but I just don't have the ear for learning a second language. I admire you, that you're living one of my past Bucket List items.

      Delete
  15. Another recommendation is the movie "Thelma" on Hulu. It stars June Squibb (now 96 but 93 in the film) as a widow who gets scammed out of $10,000 in a phone scam and is out for revenge with her assisted living friend Richard Roundtree (who starred in the "Shaft" movies in the seventies.) Squibb played Sheldon Cooper's Memaw in "The Big Bang Theory" sitcom. A fun, sweet movie with surprising action sequences involving Roundtree's electric scooter. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds like a good one. I don't have Hulu, though.

      P.S. I still love watching reruns of The Big Bang Theory.

      Delete
  16. I enjoyed Man on the Inside, and it reminded me of my mom's AL facility. Some of the characters are definitely recognizable, and parts of it seems unrealistic. But entertaining at any rate. I do like Ted Danson -- and I've always been impressed with how realistic his hair looks. I also read that he is quite bald. :-)
    My favorite holiday movie is Love Actually and I'll be firing it up soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I really like Love Actually, too. Never miss watching when I can. And another favorite is, I think, titled "Holiday" where two women trade their homes for vacations---on in LA and the other in England and they both end up falling in love.

      Delete
    2. Yes! The Holiday is another good one that is easy to rewatch. :)

      Delete
  17. I'm grateful this holiday season/election year, to have the distraction options Roku offers. I've developed a nightly routine whereby I put my parrots to bed (sevenish), then snuggle up on the sofa to watch saved mystery, crime and comedy series so I don't have to think of the aforementioned seasonal/election occurences. Very, very grateful. And I too appreciate the suggestions!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have a Roku TV, too, and get overwhelmed by all the selections available. I've started getting my agenda and handouts ready for mahjong classes I'll be teaching in January and that's been a distraction.

      Delete
  18. I've put off watching the Ted Danson NetFlix Series becoz the Trailer of it didn't appeal to me, but, I may review it, tho' I have no point of reference about the authenticity part, perhaps some Care Facilities may be like the one portrayed? I only knew Two my Mom was in, both were better than most would be and the only reason she qualified for either was due to cultivated contacts that my Brother and I had which had influence to get them in. Calling in Favors for my Aging Parent didn't seem Wrong at all to my Brother and I to ensure Mom had the best environment and care we couldn't afford. *LOL* Dad was just in a Non-Profit Hospice, so it was different and totally wonderful for the Dying and their Families.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Knowing your taste in films, I doubt the Ted Danson movie will appeal to you.

      Delete

Thanks for taking the time to comment. If you are using ANONYMOUS please identify yourself by your first name as you might not be the only one. Comments containing links from spammers will not be published. All comments are moderated which means I might not see yours right away to publish through for public viewing as I don't sit at my computer 24/7.