Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, May 7, 2025

Derby Hats, Horses and Mint Juleps


All eyes were on Churchill Downs Racetrack on Saturday including those belonging to most of us living on my continuum care campus. We had a Kentucky Derby hat making contest and picnic followed by a viewing party where we sipped mint juleps. I'm always up for anything artsy-fartsy so I of course I entered the contest, although I must admit that I resented spending money on something I'd only wear once. After seeing some of the other entries I knew I didn't have a chance of winning. But that was okay. I decided that I could add a long ribbon to my hat after the contest and the resulting hat now hangs on my door as summer decor. Resentment mitigated. 

When the contest was being discussed one night over dinner, the Art Professor asked why we had to vote on the best hat and award first, second and third place prizes. "Just the experience of creating the hats should be enough." I was quick to reply with, "Speak for yourself! We're too old for participation trophies." Everyone laughed and that shot her idea down without another word from anyone. I'll admit it, I'm competitive when it comes to arts and crafts---and mahjong. I wanted to win but I thought the better hats took their rightful places in the contest. (Photos below.) The woman in charge of the contest gave us all a small plastic horse for entering so we did get 'participation trophies' of sorts. You've got to love the humor around a place like this. 

If you're a long time reader here, you might remember two Christmas's ago when the Art Professor caused a controversy with her entry in the gingerbread house contest. It was a bombed-out house in the Gaza Strip that needed and came with a written explanation of what we were looking at. Some people thought it had no place in a Christmas themed event. Some thought it was god-awful ugly and I thought it was poorly executed but there is a reason for that: the art professor is going blind. I give her a lot of credit, though, she keeps making art and participates in anything creative around here. Her current project is crocheting mushrooms that she wants to display on a rotting log. Big ones, little ones. A couple of them look like penises that had us all laughing our guts out at lunch one day. She couldn't see the resemblance or didn't care which made it even funnier. She loves it when her art creates a buss.  

Back on topic: This week I started watching a documentary on the owners of derby race horses and I quit half way through. What a pretentious, egotistical, money sucking business to be in. I suppose if you have that kind of money to throw around the ego and pretension comes with the territory. The seven richest horse owners are worth in the billions, not millions and most of those owners didn't seem to love horses, they just liked what the horses could do for them. Race horses aren't like other horses. They are investments that are trained, pampered, spit-shined and polished to perfection and sold off or discarded to the breeding farms when they fail to bring home the trophies.

Side note here: Did you know that, Black Beauty---a book written like an autobiography of a horse that passes through many owners---is credited with bringing about an awareness that animals have feelings and it started a movement to treat animals more humanly? I didn't. One reviewer put it this way: "Anna Sewell's only book changed the world, alike to Charles Dickens 'Oliver Twist' to child labor, or Charlotte Brontë's 'Shirley' to feminism and the 'women-question.'" I thought it was just a book most people in my age bracket read in childhood. One thing for sure, it had an impact on my favorite sister-in-law who had a lot of Derby watch parties. She loved the Kentucky Derby for the horses and the hats, the upper class pageantry of it all. 

My only real interest in the Derby comes from one of my all-time favorite books and movies, Seabiscuit. It's the true story of a once neurotic horse that turned into a sports icon, a horse that became the single biggest news generator in 1938 topping Hitler, Mussolini and FDR. And of course, I'll admit to once being romanced by the sight of all the beautiful horse farms one sees when traveling through Kentucky. One of my upstairs neighbors is from Kentucky and volunteers daily at an equestrian therapy ranch near-by. She misses having her own horses and is willing to muck out stalls just to be near some. In my experience all little girls have a love affair with horses at one point in time---even if they're in the form of unicorns. She just never out grew hers. Mine came attached to a crush I had on a trail guide who worked at a riding stable near our cottage. He was a friend of my brother's and we often could ride for free if there weren't any paying customers. But every time any bare skin of mine touched a horse I broke out in hives. So after the second summer of doctoring my hives Calamine Lotion and cold tea my mom made me quit riding. That was okay with me because by then my crush was crushing on another girl who he ended up marrying.

The party was fun. After the judging we all wore our hats and others not in the contest wore assorted styles of hats, too, even some of the guys dressed up in hats and sport coats. But if I never have another mint julep it will be too soon. They were so strong I didn't think I'd be able to walk the 150 feet to my front door...had I actually drank the whole thing. ©

Until Next Wednesday....

  My is the hat is in the photo at the top of this post.

Won 3rd prize and the hat I voted for.
 
The hat on the top took 2nd prize.


The black hat took first place and it looks better in person than in the photo.

34 comments:

  1. Your hat was beautiful. What a fun event.

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    1. Thank you. I like it as a door decoration better than to wear.

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  2. Kentucky Derby is a 2-3 week extravaganza. My sister lived in Lexington for five years and then moved to Louisville. They don't get all crazy dressing up but someone is always having a party. Many resident rent out their home for Derby Days and they take a trip during that time. Fireworks, carnivals.

    I enjoy getting together with a themed party or dinner. Holiday, birthday, baby or bridal shower, 25th and 50th and 75th anniversary. I love setting a special table as well. Before we downsized, we had eight sets of dishes. And we used them.

    I wish I had been there ... for the making of fascinators and the super duper mint juleps! Such fun.

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    1. I have to agree. Theme parties are fun. My folks used to have them when I was a kid---Hawaiian, Italian....food based themes but everyone dressed up. For my 75th birthday I had an Alice in Wonderland party. And they have a lot of theme based parties here. It just makes party planning easier, I think.

      That's interesting about the derby being a 2 -3 week event. I'm not surprised. It must bring a lot of money into the local economy and they've been doing derbies for well over a hundred years. 1875 was the first.

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  3. Never watched the Kentucky Derby nor had any feelings towards horses. When I saw crowd pictures of those in attendance they looked like rich folks who were all dressed up to watch a short horse race and had bragging rights to say they had been there. I do like to see horses running freely in a field and admire their beauty from afar. So happy for you that you live in a place that gets you all together and makes big deals out of events for all of you to participate in. JJ

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    1. Sometimes I wish I had more alone time but I could if I really wanted to say 'no' to events around here. BUT I also think about how lonely I'd be if I were living in my big old house with no close neighbor or friends.

      I agree about seeing horse run free. Not a sight we see often here in Michigan, though, is it. It's iconic and a symbol of our American West when we were a young nation.

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  4. Love all of the hats! Great idea to use yours as your door decoration now!
    I found this interesting fact about all of this year's Kentucky Derby horses: "The horses in this year's Derby vary from fourth to seventh generation descendants of Secretariat, who was bred from 1974 until his death in 1989."

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  5. I like your hat and it will make a great springtime door decoration. Smart move! We watched the Derby too, at Carson's communion party. My horse came in second. (I pick by the name, not the odds. My other horse came in 14th). I like a good theme party, though I haven't been to one in a long time. It sounds like they do things up well there. I love the idea of the burned out Gaza for the contest.It's a little unorthodox (no pun intended) but a topical take on things and probably a good reminder to people. Very out of the box!

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    1. The Art Professor is an interesting person, always pushing the envelope on what she brings up to talk about. But she does it in such a gentle way that it's hard not to admire her tact.

      You have your wine tasting parties...those are theme parties.

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  6. What a fun idea to have a hat making contest based around the Derby with mint juleps after. I can't believe 3rd place didn't take 1st place. It was my favorite as well.

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    1. Me neither. It looked great on the woman who made it, too. She's very tall and willowy and the back of the hat trailed down to her shoulders.

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  7. Gorgeous hats and a fun contest! I love the idea of hanging it on your door afterwards as decor. I have mixed feelings about horse racing. The fans will tell you that the horses themselves love to race as much as we love to watch them racing. But who really knows what the horses are thinking? They are not as transparent in their communications as dogs, I think.

    Deb

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    1. They go through such rigorous training that's it's hard to believe they really enjoy it. Horses have been known to have heart attacks while racing. I think people think they enjoy racing because they are so eager to get out of the starting gates but so are bull riders. But those bulls but they know their genitals will get uncinched when they open the gate so I guess it's not a fair comparison.

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  8. I laughed at your opening sentence. All eyes weren't on the Derby on Saturday. Until I opened your post, I didn't realize that it had taken place. I've never been especially interested in it, but I usually at least know that it's on the horizon. This year? It escaped me completely. I will say that the hat you voted for might have attracted my vote, too: probably because of all that 'greenery.' That said, I like your hat more than any of the others you showed. I'd had put that on my door, too!

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    1. The derby was all anyone talked about around here the week before because the social committee was trying to whip up contestants for the hat contest. As it turned out we al had a lot of fun. We had a couple of guys who love to clown around and they were wearing their wives hats.

      That greenery hat was enchanting...the only word I could think of when I first saw it, like a woodland fairy would wear.

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  9. My book club just had a discussion on Horse by Geraldine Brooks. I found some parts disturbing but she is a good writer and I understood why she didn't shy away from the true stories and practices.

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  10. I almost didn't watch the race when I saw how muddy it was. I always get nervous for the safety of the horses in all that slop. And I hate that Bob Baffert was allowed back; he is, quite simply, bad for the sport.

    I love the whole idea of the hat contest for your residence. What fun! And your idea of using it for door decor is inspired.

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    1. I don't think it was a good move for the derby to let him back after having an issue with failure drug tests for five horses that he's trained. I life ban---instead of three years---would have sent a message that none of the trainers could have ignored.

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  11. These are pretty hats, I liked the look of all of them

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    1. I wish wearing hats was popular again. It's one of the reasons why I liked being in the Red Hat Society.

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  12. I love the hats! Everyone was so creative. And using yours as a door decoration is a great idea!
    I have never watched a Kentucky Derby or attended a Derby themed party. The party part looks like fun!

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    1. The hat looks great on the door, better than on a head. I've been to derby parties before but this one was exceptionally fun.

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  13. I’m so glad you are having so much fun. You picked a great place.

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    1. I did. We all hold our breath that the Life Enrichment Director doesn't leave and take all the good times with her.

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  14. Love the hats, and using yours as a spring door decoration is brilliant, as the Brits say. :-)
    Not a horse racing fan, but I did notice a h.s. friend was taken to the Derby this year by her daughter as a Christmas gift. The day before was lovely, but they were in full rain gear at the mud fest. Not my cup of tea but I have other random interests that others don't share. lol.

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  15. No reason for anyone to be bored in this day and age. There's lots of "random interests" people can spend time doing or reading about or watching.

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  16. I actually liked your hat better than all of them. Guess that's why no one ever let me be a judge. I, also, did not know it was Derby weekend, a friend who always posts her Derby parties on FaceBook didn't this year--she's found the new love of her life and is selling her house and moving in with him, so I guess she's a bit distracted.

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    1. Thank you. Next year I'll have a better idea of what judges like.

      Hope your friend is happy. That's quite a live-style change she's making.

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  17. The hats are fun. When I was a kid we'd make silly hats using paper plates and ribbons and crepe paper and markers then wear the hats during the race.

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    1. Good thing I didn't know about the paper plates, crepe paper and markers before I made my hat! LOL

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  18. That sounded like a Fun Event and the entries were really good, including yours. Some Blog Friends have and breed Horses, but, they seem to have a genuine Love for them. I can see where someone who only wants the profits from the Animals are not the best Owners of any Living Thing. I feel that way about most Dog Breeders and in Arizona a lot of the Greyhound Breeders were shut down for the sinister side of that whole Dog Racing Business and what happens to the Dogs that aren't Race quality. Horse Racing is exciting, it's one of the Sports I do enjoy watching on TV. I only went once to a real Horse Race at Turf Paradise with an Old Boyfriend who was really into it and got mad that I Won more Money just picking Horses that looked Pretty or had good Names. *LOL*

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  19. My goodness some fabulous hats were made, all sounded great fun.

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