“Not in Assisted Living (Yet): Dispatches from the Edge of Independence!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Saturday, April 4, 2026

D is for Dogs—Love, Loss, and All the Pawprints Between

 


Dogs, Dad, Don or dyslexia. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. What should I write about for the letter D in the April A to Z Blog Challenge? Since my theme this month is “The humans, habits, hidden joys and heartaches that shaped my world,” I could cheat and pick all four—Dad for the humans (the best person I’ve ever known), Don for habits (he chain‑smoked three packs a day and I’ve got stories), dogs for the joys, and dyslexia for the heartaches that followed me far beyond school. But if I start cheating this early, by the time I get to K the Challenge Police might kick me off the spreadsheet that tracks how often we comment on other bloggers. As I understand it, that’s half the point of this yearly event—discovering new blogging voices. So welcome if you’re new here, and if you’re a long‑time reader, thank you for sticking around.

I’m choosing Dogs for my D topic because most of you don’t know that back when blogging was at its height, I kept a blog in a large dog‑blog community—large as in roughly 700 dog lovers. Most of us wrote in our dog’s voice. I loved it. My dogs could say things I couldn’t, or add a humorous twist to the antics all dog parents recognize.

Here’s something Levi “wrote” in The Levi and Cooper Chronicles when he was a puppy: “Wednesday me found Moomie’s boobie hammock hanging in the bathroom. Levi is smart. Me figured out how to get it off the hook and mes turned it into pull‑toy for my stuffie, Mr. Goose. He was having so much fun riding through the living room and Daady was having fun watching us until Moomie came along. End of fun. End of Daddy, Mr. Goose and Levi being happy.”

Six years later, Levi had learned proper pronouns but not how to soften a blow: “Something happened I want to share with the world because it hurts so much. My daady died! My human daady died and I’m so worried because he went to the Rainbow Bridge without his wheelchair. He needs that chair and Moomie just took it to a place called Goodwill. If they really have good will they’d bring it back and bawl my moomie out for leaving it there.”

In this blog alone I’ve written seven posts dedicated to the dogs in my life, and there are countless others where they wander in and out of the narrative. They’ve been shaping me since the beginning—from Blackie, the puppy who shared my playpen and grew into my babysitter and protector, to Levi, my last dog, who died just before I moved into Independent Living nearly five years ago. They’ve been confidants, companions and stand‑ins for the babies I never had. They’ve made me laugh, cry, brag and shamelessly use them for blog fodder. I worried over them, cleaned up after them, and I was, admittedly, a helicopter pet parent.

Don, my husband, spoiled them in the classic good‑cop way, while I was the bad cop in charge of training them to be good citizens and housemates. I loved him all the more for the way he treated my poodles. Before we were married, I gave him a document proclaiming him to be 49¾% owner of Cooper, and you’d have thought I’d handed him the keys to a mansion. On his birthdays and Father’s Days, “Cooper” would tape a quarter inside a greeting card and deliver the cards mouth to hand. When I was cleaning out my husband’s stuff during a move I discovered that he’d kept all those cards and quarters. They were the same quarters Don had dropped into Cooper’s piggy bank every time I let him take the dog along while he plowed snow. They were crazy about each other.

John Steinbeck once wrote, “I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.” Most dog parents know that look. They judge us, and sometimes we come up short. But we also know their look of pure devotion, and the one they use when they’re trying to sweet‑talk us into shelling out a treat.

I miss having that co‑dependent relationship in my life. Truth be told, I probably needed my dogs more than they ever needed me.

And that’s my wrap for the letter D. ©

Photo at the top: Levi, the only Schnauzer I ever had. The rest of the dogs in my adult life were poodles (3). In childhood we had collie and two Belgium Shepherds and one dog of questionable breeding. 

43 comments:

  1. I have had many dogs during my life, but only one dad who I miss so much

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  2. Loved that you gave Don 49.75 ownership of Cooper--and the cards and taped quarters tugged at my heart. Several months ago, our daughter's family lost their beloved dog. He was a sweet lab. Last week, they adopted a 4 month old German shepherd pup. He was the last of the litter. The owner confessed he wasn't the best looking, but said he was the sweetest of the litter, and simply wanted to stay close to his people. He looked at my grand daughters with big beautiful eyes and it was all over but the shouting. The world is a better place because of dogs. Thanks, Jean.

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    1. I love what you shared. Labs are great dogs for kids. A cousin always had German shepherds going up and they are really loyal and protective. Throw 'sweet' into the mix and you've got a good grand-dog.

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  3. I always loved your posts about Levi. I remember when you had to say goodbye -- it was really tough, as it always is when we love. But Cooper is new to me. He sounds great.

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    1. Cooper and Don where like two peas in a pod. Cooper was a handful to train, was taken away from his liter to young and we had to take him to a special trainer I called a doggie shrink when he was 8 months old. But he was one of the smartest dogs I've have had. Don even bought a motor home so Cooper could travel in comfort.

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  4. Enjoying your heartfelt posts - you're kicking goals, girlfriend.

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    1. Thank you! This challenge has sparked something in me. I'm on a writing Marathon, getting future roughed in.

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  5. I should have written for my dogs, too. I have two now and a cat. The cat prior to this one has/d his own blog: https://inoahcat.blogspot.com. He was a talkative and interactive cat...

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    1. This is Donna from https://Mainelywrite.blogspot.com

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  6. I, too, remember your posts about Levi and when you had to say goodbye. That's so touching about buying a motorhome for Cooper. The things we do for our beloved pets. We had four dogs and three cats (plus I took in foster dogs and cat), I think our kids were jealous of how much we catered to them. Hey, they didn't talk back like teenagers! Well, maybe the cats did in their own way.

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    1. So true about pets being easier to raise than pets. Even if we were only going to be gone a day, Don would want to take the motor home so Cooper could be with us.

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  7. Dogs! Yes!!! As you wrote, a co-dependent relationship - but in the best way. Buying a motorhome because of a dog? Makes perfect sense to me. I have three friends who did just that - they also have poodles. What made you decide to get a schnauzer instead of another poodle, Jean?

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    1. It was one of those serendipity moments. Cooper had died a few days before when we were out for a ride and we saw a puppies for sale sign. They were Schnauzers. A boy and a girl. The girl was cuter than the boy and except for Cooper I'd always had girls. But it was two soon to get another dog. Two weeks later I couldn't quit thinking about the empty hole Cooper left and how I knew I'd eventually get a dog anyway. So I told Don if those puppies are still there I'm buying the girl. She'd been sold and the boy was marked down half price. Don picked him up and that was it. He fell in love, but it took me a few more weeks of wondering if I'd jumped in to soon. Thankfully, he was the easiest Don I ever trained. And I needed easy after the handful that Cooper had been. It was a good decision that put a lot of smiles on Don's face.

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  8. I had my puppy for 18 years. He passed a few years ago. Now that I am living alone, I think about adopting a companion. But, honestly, at this stage of life, my concern would be that the dog would outlive me and then who would take care of it. I do miss having one, though.

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    1. That's my problem too. We are allowed to have dogs in my Independent living apartment and I'm on the first floor but we have to sign a paper listing two people that can be called to pick the dog up if we have a medical emergency. I don't have anyone who could or would make that commitment. My next door neighbor as one and a few other people in the building so I have to satisfy my longings with an occasional opportunity to pet one.

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  9. I've loved every story about Levi. We had a miniature all black schnauzer that the four year old named Spooky. He was such a love. Pets are even more important as we age ... just quiet snuggles!

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    1. You bet they are. I've tried to get my youngest daughter to let me babysit her dog when they go on vacations, but shes as much of a helicopter pet parent as I was so they take the dog with them.

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  10. For a very short two weeks after Buddy died, I believed that I would not get another dog. I still can't believe that I brought Bonnie Rae home from a rescue animal event so soon after Buddy's death because I was still so deep in grief. After grief was guilt for getting another dog, then love because she has become such a great companion. I don't know which of us will go first, Me or Bonnie Rae, but I'm sure she'll be my last dog.

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    1. I went through the guilt thing too. But in the end I decided that we have had give Cooper a great life and his last six months had been down hill. Part of me had grieved his lost before he was actually gone. Our giving Levi our love didn't take anything away from the love we'd given Cooper.

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  11. I'm a little late to the party because I didn't know you were blogging the alphabet. I love your blog so getting to read all these extra posts will be exciting. Looks like you're off to a fabulous start so I'll be looking forward to the rest of the month! Btw, if you haven't decided on Q yet, how about Quintessential? I just love that word and if you're going with questions, it still works, as Quintessential Questions. Anyway, Happy Writing and I know I'll enjoy reading!

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    1. That's a mouthful word you've got there. It would be an interesting post to ask everyone what's their favorite word and why.

      Thank you for the nice words about my blog!

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  12. I had many dogs as a child and they always seemed to have a premature death on the road or the railway line. My daughter is allergic to dog and cat hair so we haven’t had a pet since. I sometimes think about getting a dog now that we travel less but it’s a big commitment with training etc. Also I couldn’t ask my daughter to look after it when we are away and my son has an apartment in another city so he couldn’t either. I suppose when you have a dog you make friends with dog owners and can reciprocate that way. It’s like deciding to have a child. Such a big step to take and yet I can see all the pluses. Many of my dog owning friends have lost their pet through old age and have decided not to get another one. I think if I lived alone it would be very tempting as I do love dogs.

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    1. I miss having a dog every day. I am active only alone when I want to be but there is no replacement for the affection you get from a dog.

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  13. Very sweet stories of your dogs and dear husband.

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    1. My husband was very macho looking in his prime and it was rather comical to see him carrying a 15 pound poodle.

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  14. Loved the Dog memories Post, our Fur Baby Memories can be some of the best. We had Dogs and Cats growing up but mostly Dogs, my Parents were Dog People mostly, I'm a Cat Person mostly, but Love all Animals. I get annoyed more with their Pet Parents just like I get annoyed more at the Parents of Children than with the Children who aren't being managed well or treated well. I remember Levi in your Posts before the move. The longest I owned a Pet, or it owned me, was our Cat Rat Boy, who was a Girl actually, and we had over 20 Years. But even the shortest Feline or Canine who was Family for a brief time, is remembered fondly.

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    1. I can beat that we had a dog that lived to 23. She was blind all but 2 years of her life. She had the dog version of polio and the vet college did experimental treatments on her that cured her paralysis but left her with no vision. My dad said after all she went through, he couldn't put her down. I wore bells when I'd take her for walks.

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    2. Perhaps her Experimental Treatments contributed to her longevity tho'? Coz 23 is really impressive for a Dog's Lifespan. I think my Friend Tina's Black Cat, Shadow, lived even longer than Rat Boy, but she was so gnarly and scary looking in the end she looked like a Cat that should be the Star in a Stephen King's Horror Flick like the Movie "Pet Sematary"! *LOL*

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  15. I'd love to have a dog but my Hubby doesn't agree. You asked on the A-Z post about whether you were on the master list. I can see your blog on the list of people signed up. You can find the list here: MASTER LIST https://tinyurl.com/mu5vjy48 and there is a "comment" column on it that you can use to keep track of the blogs you visit. Hope this helps.

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    1. Thank you for reading my blog and the information! Greatly appreciated.

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  16. Sounds like you need a new furbaby in your life :-) They are the best!

    Ronel visiting from Ronel the Mythmaker

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  17. After my stroke I wanted to get a support dog, but I didn't think I could manage the care of a dog, as it's really hard to get outside for me, and we didn't have a fenced-in yard. So I got a cat. Just an ordinary cat, from the county shelter. I knew I could clean a litter box from my wheelchair, and I had to promise that she would be an indoor-only cat before they would let me have her (which was not a problem since cats are bird killers so I've always kept my cats indoors). It was a great decision, as my husband fell in love with her and she has been the most even-tempered, delightful pet we have ever had. I've never had a cat before who never gets mad, never pushes stuff onto the floor, and doesn't walk on the countertops. We've had her for 10 years now, they thought she was about 4 when she was adopted, and she's in great health. I dread losing her, but I would not trade her for anything.

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    1. She sounds perfect. I really think animals can sense and are different around disabled people. They are gentler and try not to make extra work for their humans.

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  18. I love dogs, especially German Shepherds.
    However, no dogs here.
    Three cats.
    So I have that going for me.

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    1. I'd have a cat now if I wasn't allergic. They are easier for living in an apartment.

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  19. I am a dog lover and have had dogs my whole life... except now. I do not have a dog... thought about it but just have decided after the last one passed I can't do the goodbyes anymore. It's too hard and I know I'm going to experience that when the two housecats we have meet their final last 9 life. (One is 17 and the other is 11). At one point we had 15 chickens, 2 roosters, 3 dogs, 5 outside cats and 2 inside cats. Now we are down to the two inside. This was a great post and I agree with Jo-Anne...we can have many pets, but only one dad.
    Cheers,
    Barbie

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    1. Fur babies are hard to say goodbye. It's even harder when you don't have one and still want one but know it's not the right thing to do to match up with where we're at in life.

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  20. Oh, I forgot you were posting everyday so I just had to catch up on your last few posts! Keep up the good work! I will remember to check you every day now.
    I could always tell you had a lot of love for your dogs!

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  21. Dogs can be great companions. I'm sorry for your loss.

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    1. Thank you. It was quite sudden, a few months before I moved and I had picked out a very dog friendly apartment.

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