Thursday was unique in the Chronicles of Jean. I got a call
from the facilitator of my old book club, the one I belonged to before my
husband died. Things were crazy around that time and I had to drop out and by
the time I could concentrate on reading again they didn’t have an opening. The
book clubs around here use the Book-Club-in-Bag program through the libraries
to borrow books so they are limited in size to twelve members. Fast forward a
couple of years with my name on a waiting list to get back into the club the senior
hall, who sponsors the club, had enough people on that list to start a second
group which I joined a year ago and I’ve have had a love/hate relationship with
it ever since.
Then came the call. My old group invited me back in because
they had an opening and didn’t want to take an unknown person off the wait list
if I’d be interested in switching clubs. I liked these ladies because I could
say anything about a book and they didn’t look at me like I had two heads. So I
made the call to the senior hall director to get her “permission” to switch
clubs which would make an opening for her to fill with my departure in Group
Two. She was worried the members of the second group “would get their feelings
hurt” so her only requirement was that I go in and explain my decision to
switch groups. Get their feelings hurt? That
never even occurred to me.
That comment got me to wondering if I drift through life obliviously
making selfish choices that unintentionally hurt the feelings of others. I
guess I can see why Group Two could view my move as me favoring another group
of ladies over them because…well, that’s exactly what I’m doing. Oops! The two
groups meet on the same day and time and so Thursday I tried to contain my
excitement as I dropped off last month’s book with Group Two and said my
goodbyes, then I went across the hall to go to a lecture on downsizing. And near
the end of the hour I went back across the hall to the room where Group One was
breaking up to pick up their book for next month’s discussion. Yay!
The Lecture: This was the second “downsizing” lecture I’ve
been to at the senior hall. The first one was a few years go and I hated it. So
why go again? I thought maybe I wasn’t in the right mood back then and that I was too closed-minded to what she had to
say. To me, her only message seemed to be, “Donate, donate, donate, throw it
out and don't look back.” Donate things like my husband’s Yellow Dog, the two
headed pot, when I knew I could and did sell it for over $350 for it? This time
I was hoping to find resources to help with downsizing---lists of tag sale services, auction houses, consignment shops---and not just a list of places to donate your life in
cardboard boxes. God, I miss having a Yellow Pages book! Life was simpler when you
knew a business was established long enough ago to have a listing in print.
That was then and the lecture this week was much different. It
was titled, ‘Transitioning without Frustration’ and the class description was: “If
it's downsizing to another home, moving to senior housing, or downsizing
everything into a motor home, we will support you in making the transition as
easy as possible.” What it turned out to be is a tag team of three female real
estate agents who say they specialize in “encore services,” a marketing niche trolling for seniors. They will help you find a new place to live, help
you get your house ready to sell connecting you with a hub of painters, cleaners,
de-cluttering services, handymen, house stagers, movers, bankers, tag sale services and
supposedly hold your hands as they walk you through the process from start to
finish and all 7% of the sale of your home. Most realtors have these same kind
of contacts to recommend and they charge the same 7% but these ladies claimed altruistic goals which reminded me of the time some little kids wanted to shovel my sidewalk for free because, "We just want to help old people."
There were probably 40 of us in attendance and we were
encouraged to talk, ask questions and share our stories. At one point we had to
write our answers down to three questions and one of those questions was: Where
have you always felt the happiest? When they asked people to share what they wrote down, they got answers like, “with my family,” “outside,” “by the
Big Lake” and swear to God, the first answer I thought of was, I’m happiest when I’m living inside my head!
Our answers were supposed to be a guide to what we should be looking for in a
new place to live. At first my cynical-self laughed and thought, Well, that didn’t work but then I
realized if I move my next house really does need a room devoted to creativity---a
writing and crafts room---and it has to have a great view. All and all, it was an
interesting, free lecture/sales pitch and I learned I’m certainly not alone in being
torn by conflicting possibilities for the future. ©
