“Not in Assisted Living (Yet): Dispatches from the Edge of Independence!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean
Showing posts with label parking lot maintinance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parking lot maintinance. Show all posts

Friday, April 17, 2026

O is for Overtime—When Work Was Just What You Did

 

A few posts back in this A to Z Blogger’s Challenge, I wrote about my dad working long overtime hours during WWII, and that got me thinking about all the overtime Don and I worked over the years. At no point in my adult life did I ever have a tidy nine-to-five job like Dolly Parton sang about in her 1980 movie song with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin.

I never “tumbled out of bed and stumbled to the kitchen” to pour myself a cup of “ambition” before heading off to a predictable shift. In the floral industry, where I worked for twenty years, there was no such thing as nine to five. We worked when there was work to do. Funerals, holidays, and weddings didn’t care what time the shop or greenhouses closed. Brides often needed evening appointments, and grieving families needed casket sprays and pedestal pieces with gold-foil letters proclaiming labels like “Mother” or “Grandfather.” Those letters are still the same fonts they were sixty years ago. And yes, I still have the same hand-held Clipper #700 stapler I used back then. The letters, however, now come with sticky backs.

Funerals were unpredictable, but weddings guaranteed overtime on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays. Not ideal for my man‑hunting days. (Girls who met their spouses in high school or college missed the era of wondering where on earth you’d find a decent man.) Most of the guys I worked with were either married or gay. One was deep in the closet, circa the ’60s. With my hours, my default social life became Sunday skiing or after work bar‑hopping with two single co‑workers—a gay girl and a gay guy. None of us ever found what we were looking on those after work bar hops. Surprise, surprise .

We did have some fun after hours, the kind you can only have when management is nowhere in sight. Flowers came in from all over the world, and once in a while cockroaches hitched a ride. One shipment must have included a pregnant one because they multiplied fast. When we told the boss, he said the monthly spraying would take care of it. We didn’t want to wait. So we trapped a dozen in a jar and planted them in his desk drawers. The next morning, he walked into his office with his coffee and came shooting right back out like the hounds of hell were after him. That night the chemical guy was waiting for us to punch out. The boss? We didn’t see him again all day, and he never found out what we’d done.

Holidays were the worst for overtime. My bosses did wholesale as well as retail, so we prepared artificial arrangements by the hundreds to ship to four states before switching to retail fresh flower orders. We also decorated houses—inside and out—for wealthy clients and big parties. Twelve-to fourteen-hour shifts weren’t unusual. I learned early on to finish my Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving. I also learned that if I wanted a break, I had to learn to drink coffee, because my boss didn’t like the image of someone sitting in the break room “doing nothing.”

When I left that job, I started my own weddings‑only service out of my home. A one‑woman operation with part‑time help from my nieces, my mom and Don. Anyone who’s ever had their own business knows who ends up working the longest hours. After ten years of that—and more than a few Bridezillas—I gave it up and went back to college, which I wrote about in E is for Education. At the same time, I worked part‑time for Don, plowing snow in the winters and doing parking lot maintenance the rest of the year. He had five or six part‑time workers, but it was he and I who worked the most overtime. Exhausted was our default condition during the nineties. Oh, and did I mention he also worked a full time job at GM where, went we first met, they had a lot of mandatory overtime?

Those years blur together now—the late nights, the early mornings, the holidays spent working instead of celebrating. At the time, it all felt ordinary, just the way life was for us. Maybe that’s the thing about overtime—you don’t notice the hours until you finally step outside and see how far they carried you. ©

Wednesday, July 28, 2021

Memory and Memories

A few weeks ago when I unloaded my Chevy Trax before taking it to get it detailed inside and out I found a brand new antenna---still in its original packaging---just like the one on top of the car. Try as I might---and I tried hard---I couldn’t remember why or how I got it. The Trax is a 2015 so it’s not like I had to search the ancient, dust crusted archives of my brain to find this bit of personal trivia and thank goodness it not the kind of data loss that advances a person on the game board of living on a continuum care campus to the next level of care. Nope. As long as I remember to wear a sufficient amount of clothing in public, layered in the correct order, and I don’t wander around at night calling a dog who died twenty years ago I should be fine. Still, I worry. Especially when the stupidest things pop out of my mouth and by the time I figure out the misinformation should be corrected it’s too late. Which brings me to one of the advantages of living where I’m moving to: No one will know me well enough to know if I’m acting out of character or relating misinformation about something in my past. It will be like being in my own Witness Protection Hide-Away. And if I'm lucky, the place will come stocked with a cute agent to keep me safe. What? That's the way it works in all the witness protection romance books I've read. (Quit rolling your eyes, you know I'm kidding.) 

I got a call recently from the advertising director of the CCC who wanted to know if I’d appear in a TV interview about why I am moving into the place. It’s not the first time she’s asked but this time I gave her one of two honest answers as to why I will always say ‘no’ to that question. I told her my brain and my mouth are not always in sync and I don’t trust my mouth to have the good sense and proper decorum that my brain has 24/7/365. She laughed because she’s been around me enough times at meetings to know that from time to time I tend to throw one-liners out for comic relief. If she asks me again I’ll give her the other honest answer and blurt out, “Are you crazy! Fat people don’t want to appear in TV commercials!” Fat people don’t like to do a lot of things because--- duh!---someone might notice the elephant in the room. Well, not literally an elephant sized person in the room but we ladies are lucky because women are not like guys who will point out to their friends: “You’ve put on a few pounds since I last saw you.”

That covers the memory part of this post now on to the memories. I went to the grocery store today and when I got there I grumbled with discontent because they had the audacity to be paving half of the parking lot. We’re talking about a store that measures their parking lot in acres not feet. Not only was the pungent odor of asphalt unavoidable but I was wearing white soled shoes and I didn’t want to walk across the designated parking area that looked like it had been resurfaced and line striped the day before.  

My husband had a parking lot maintenance business that did snowplowing, sweeping, line striping and pot hole patching. Then a friend who managed the GM Union Hall asked him about resurfacing their parking lot and Don said, “I'll get you some bids.” He ended up being the general contractor for the job and thus another sideline was added to his business cards. Over the next five years he accumulating equipment and resurfaced a string of parking lots---the size of your local Applebees---and he had a crew of teenagers from the neighborhood working for him. I even filled in a few times, raking hot asphalt and cleaning tools. That stuff is like snot. It sticks to everything. We had to strip our clothes off in the garage. 

Long story short we had a come to Jesus talk and, thankfully, he decided that while resurfacing parking lots was really lucrative it wasn’t a direction he should continue moving in since he was still working full time at GM and he didn't want to give up their benefits and retirement plan (even though he made more money snowplowing and cleaning parking lots than he did as a die maker at GM). Don had painful, childhood memories of having the family's utilities turned off and bill collectors coming to the door and that turned him into a workaholic. But that's a story for another day.

When I got my groceries loaded in my car I decided to pull over near the asphalters and watch for a while as I multi-tasked by making ice cream soup in the back seat. Oops. Thirty-five years had not changed the basic process but the shear size of the equipment was impressive. Don would have loved parking on Memory Lane with me today. When he was in the Army Reserves they trained him to drive heavy equipment and that was his happy place. The bigger the better.

When two of the huge, belly dumper trucks stopped to put their mud flaps back on so they could leave the parking lot I was not shocked to see one of the drivers was a woman. She was probably close to retirement age and I'll bet she started out raking asphalt and cleaning tools. When the belly dumpers left so did I, thanking my lucky stars that Don gave up resurfacing when he did or that woman would have been me. Still, the memories that came with watching the paving action had me grabbing for my thickest pair of rose-colored glasses. Remind me sometime to write about the fatherless teen boys who seemed to go everywhere we went for a couple of summers. Today I'd call them the Driveway Dwellers because that's where they seemed to live but back then we called them the Three Amigos. ©