Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

In January of 2012 my soul mate of 42 years passed away after nearly 12 years of living with severe disabilities due to a stroke. I survived the first year after Don’s death doing what most widows do---trying to make sense of my world turned upside down. The pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties are well documented in this blog.

Now that I’m a "seasoned widow" the focus of my writing has changed. I’m still a widow looking through that lens but I’m also a woman searching for contentment, friends and a voice in my restless world. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. I say I just write about whatever passes through my days---the good, bad and the ugly. Comments welcome and encouraged. Let's get a dialogue going! Jean

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Fish, Fat and Movie Day: Lion



Guess what I did. I signed up to start a “Move It to Loss It” class at the YMCA. It’s twice a week for seven weeks, and 1 ½ hours each class with a personal trainer and four other classmates. I start on Monday. At the crack of dawn, an hour before the dog and I usually get out of bed. What was I thinking?! I was thinking that fat costs a lot of money. First you pay for the extra food that makes you fat, then pay a gym to help you take the fat back off. Assuming this class doesn’t kill me, we’re supposed to get a taste of every activity in the place and I can’t wait to try the cardio drumming on giant balls. I had to do something radial; all my clothes are getting tight and I refuse to buy a bigger size. I blame Mr. Trump. I’m a stress eater and he’s stressing me out. I hope one of the classes includes kick boxing because I’ll excel at that if I pretend I’m kicking him in his whirlygigs---that’s 1600s British slang for human testicles. Judging by my favorite dictionary---Slangs and Euphemisms---British sailors had/still have the most colorful euphemisms in the world. Gooseberries, that’s another one like whirlygigs that didn’t pass the test of time. And I can see why. What guy wants his family jewels compared to something so small? Did you see what I did there, the “slide of hand” to distract you from the fact that I just admitted I’ve been a very bad girl? I’ve spent the winter fattening myself up like a pig going to the county fair only instead of winning a blue ribbon I earned myself a gym membership. 

Guess what else I did? This is an easy one. I went to another lecture. The speaker was a local poet and photographer who gave a quirky presentation about the beauty of winter and the poems the season inspired him to write. “Observe with open eyes: The glare of white sun reflects the purity of snow. Water in winter rivers sings a colder, older song.” He’s a retired school teacher living his dream---traveling, clicking pictures and pretending he’s the next Robert Frost. We should all be so lucky. When I grow up I want to live my dream. I just have to settle on what that is.

When I got back home from the lecture I felt so guilty about leaving the dog alone on such a bright, sunny day that I threw him in the car and took him to the recycling center, the car wash and the gas station. He was disappointed when I drove past Starbucks without turning in and when I tried to explain calories to him, he gave me a dirty look. I told him to suck it up because he’s got a pound or two to lose himself and his workout boot camp starts on Monday, too. He hasn’t walked the neighborhood since last fall.

The next day I met my Movie and Lunch Club at the local casino club for one of their bi-monthly fish fries, then we were off to see another movie nominated for the Oscar’s Best Picture of the Year, Lion. IMDb sums up the storyline like this: “A five-year-old Indian boy gets lost on the streets of Calcutta, thousands of kilometers from home. He survives many challenges before being adopted by a couple in Australia; 25 years later, he sets out to find his lost family.” And find them he did, using Google Earth to pour over images along the railroad lines looking for landmarks that would ring a bell. It’s a true story, an extraordinary story that spans two continents and three languages. Spoiler alert: This story pulls you in and leaves you crying at the end...with happy tears. In the closing credits, it stated that 80,000 children go missing in India each year. Most of those kids end up living in deplorable conditions and are subject to getting caught up in the sex trafficking industry. The first half of the movie sets that stage and the second half of the movie dealt with the search to find and understand his identity.

I saw an interview of the adaptive mother, played by Nichole Kidman in the film, and she said the whole movie crew and cast put a lot of effort into getting to know her and her family, to portray them and the story accurately. The only thing they got wrong, she said, was her wardrobe. Lion is supposed to be the front runner to get the best picture of the year and I would be happy for all involved in the film if that comes to pass, but I’m still hoping that Hidden Figures gets it instead. Either way, they both deserve high praise.

It’s been a busy week and it’s not over. Today I’ve got to get my shopping done and tomorrow, Sunday, I get to see my family at a birthday party for a one year old. The five babies in the family are breathing new life into the mix and my great-nieces and nephews aren’t done yet. We have three more babies on the way, one is due any day. ©

Movie Trailer for Lion
 

31 comments:

  1. Sigh, I have gotten fat too, it isn't pretty, is it? I believe I've added a kindergarten kid to my thighs.
    I could go for some fish! Lion sounds pretty good.

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    1. Lion was a good story and movie, but it hurt to see so much poverty in Calcutta.

      I miss fish. when my husband was alive we'd go twice a month to one of these fish fries.

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  2. The midwest really has the BEST fish fries. Lake fish are yummy! Portland has a fish and chips place and the Owner is from Wisconsin. He imports the lake fish and also has some ocean fish. Delish.

    I watched an interview about the Lion story. WOW. Can't wait to it hits direct streaming ...

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  3. Ha,ha,ha, blame it on Trump, stress eater, yes blame on King Donald, ha,ha,ha. Good afternoon Jean and my family jewels are doing well. LOL. WOW! This movie looks really interesting and it was real. India is a poor country and no matter what, it will always be poor. I wish we could change things like that but unfortunately it seems that the government doesn't want to help it's people. Good luck with your new way of losing. See ya my friend.

    Cruisin Paul

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    1. Actually, India is poised to change dramatically in terms of opportunities to upgrade the living standards for all. We may not see it in our lifetime but big time investments are betting on the country.

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  4. Jean :

    I had heard about Lion, but after reading your review we are going to go & watch it today, since last time watched hidden figures & enjoyed it immensely. India is such a big country & you can see every thing there, extreme two ends rich, poor & big middle class. you go to big fancy restaurent for expensive meal & where there is always usually wait & you come out & can see poor kids begging near by. Which ofcourse makes very uncomfortable, but then realize that its smart technique for getting good money out of those rich customers who would feel guilty & tend to give better.

    Asha

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    1. I hope you come back and tell me how you liked the movie. And also, was your email accounted hacked recently or did have send me an email with no title line and just a link inside with no explanation? I don't open things like that.

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    2. Jean :

      wow we loved the movie, it was awesome, I was feeling guilty that in flood of humans you never know I must have missed those stories behind some of those young kids begging on street. BTW India is in for lot of good things now, it has become indeed developing nation, there is lot of growth progress happening there when we go visit India which is quite often I see lot of construction, lot of freeways, big towers shopping malls everywhere, & people spending money freely. We have finally got great leader who is really doing things for people & not just make himself & his party rich, so I m quite hopeful about India's growth. Its biggest democratic country with lot of spirituality. & yes My yahoo account might have been hacked along with other millions of other email account. I m glad you never opened that email & deleted it. Sorry.

      Asha

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    3. Jean
      It was another great suggestion & we both loved the movi, India is developing nation. Its not poor country any more. It has biggest democratic country with lot of spirituality. every time we visit India we see only construction going on, malls, high towers, & freeways & so on. first time in long time India has finally gotton great politician who is doing right thing for country & getting India on great path. have you seen recently India's space agency set world record of launching 104 satellites in space in one single rocket launch. India do have great education system which have produced great people who are CEOs of lot of American companies right here, for example microsoft, google, pepsi & so on. I think my yahoo account might have been hacked with other million usrers & they sending me email to reset my password & add other security measure. Sorry.

      Asha

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    4. Not your fault about the account hacking. I'm just glad my instincts were working when I got it.

      I'm glad you liked the movie and came back to let me know and for filling me in on India's changing society and opportunities. I remembered reading about that but couldn't remember any of the details on why that was happening.

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  5. Love this post -- feel like I was at your side as you moved through your life this week.

    We go on our annual Hawaii vaca in April and I'm trying to lose my annual 15 pounds. Won't happen, but maybe 5? I go to a weekly Strength and Conditioning class, also with a personal trainer and 6 students. I love it! She sets the room up with stations designed such that all levels can do the exercises that hit all the muscle groups and cardio. Now I need to discipline myself to also lift a bit of weight outside of class and hop on my shiny new treadmill more regularly. Good for you (and Levi) for your dedication to health!

    I really want to see Lion! I love Dev Patel in anything he does and the story sounds intriguing. My husband visited India a couple years ago and talks about the kids following the tourists everywhere begging for money. And he wasn't even in the big cities. I'm sure the story would leave me in tears too. Any story of kids in jeopardy really gets to me. I am glad he found his original family. What a story!

    I usually watch the Oscars and it's a big "holiday" for me, but this year I've only seen one of the nominated movies (La La Land) and we have other plans for that Sunday night, so I'll have to record it. I don't really care who wins, but I like seeing all the movie stars, Fan-Girl that I am. LOL

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    1. Ohmygod, Dev Patel has the most expressive eyes! His smile took my breath away and his body is pretty fine as well. I'm a new fan.

      If Levi and I were "dedicated to health I wouldn't have bought work out clothes today for the first time in my life. My shirt says, "I hurt all over and I'm going to die!" Eight pounds would get my clothes fitting as they should but I want to make this a summer of setting healthy habits.

      I am watching the Oscars this year because of the boycott against them. LOL But I do like them and have seen many of the movies.

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  6. Great post. I do believe your world is improving. Social connections seem to be coming together. Goood for you!

    I onder how much weight Americans have gained from Trump stress? A bunch I would guess. Things are never calm long enough for us to relax. We're continually leaping from one stressful event to another.

    Weight is the one health issue I do not have a handle on and I suspect never will but I keep trying. I need more exercise, and I'm one that eats in the middle of the night. Bad,,b.

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    1. Yup, social connections are coming together...took forever to find people I feel comfortable with.

      I'm sure I'm not the only one whose weight has been effected by stress over what is going on in D.C. But my weight as always gone up and down, just not as fast as it has since the election.

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  7. At 49, I put on 8 lbs. 60, another 8 lbs. Not over the years, all at once like my metabolism found a nice park bench and took a nice nap. Now at 70, another 6 lbs seems to want to be the guest who never leaves and I'm feeling resentful because I don't particularly want to give up my last vice (gummy bears and ice cream). Since you're being the adult in the room, I'll look to you for inspiration.

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    1. Ohmygosh, our vices and weigh gains are very similar. For me it's ice cream and Kraft orange candy slices. I hope I can keep myself inspired but I know I'm not going to do it on my own, thus the class. I'll keep you posted on my progress or lack there of.

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  8. We are having (unusual) delight, warm weather all this next week. I think it might be time for me to take a walk. Today, I walked around Michael's. Does that count?

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    1. It was just like spring today, I love it but worry we'll go back to winter in April. Yes, walking Michael's counts. I did JoAnn Fabrics today.

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  9. Glad your social connections are developing.

    My gym experience is that I hated being tied to a schedule - advantage was that it got me out of the house thrice a week.

    I checked out "Lion". Interesting read, but not my style of film to watch. ~ Libby

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    1. I probably wouldn't have gone to see the movie if not for the club but I enjoyed it, found it fascinating that a five year's memories could be used 2o years later to find his way back home across 1,000 miles. He had extraordinary mothers---both his adoptive and birth.

      I don't like gyms, period. I feel self conscious with all the hard working people with good bodies. But I gave myself Jan/Feb to get back in control and it wasn't happening thus the punishment begins Monday. LOL

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  10. Another review of a movie that sounds very good.
    Whirlygigs and gooseberries! I'll have to find a way to work that into a conversation.

    You've done the right thing by joining a class at the YMCA. Moving really helps. I walk almost every day now. When I'm home, I set the alarm on the stove timer for one-hour intervals. When it goes off, I walk vigorously for a few minutes. It helps. Good luck to you.
    I cannot believe how busy you are.

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    1. It's going to be a busy two months coming up. I just hope we don't get back into winter mode for driving to the YMCA.Some days I have to come back home, shower and go back out for my normal afternoon events. That will make me feel guilty for the dog who will get walked when I come home again.

      I use a kitchen timer all the time. Otherwise I'd never get up from the computer or knitting and my Fitbit tells me to take walks every hour, too, if I haven't gotten in the required steps.

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  11. Is Dev Patel the same actor who was in Slumdog millionaire? I seem to remember hearing that. That was a very good movie.
    Linda...I am very aware of the stress and fright that is being generated by this administration. However, some people eat more and some of us eat less. I have always been someone who has less interest in food when there are problems.
    Regards,
    Leze

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    1. I didn't see Slumdog Millionaire but I did read in Dev's bio that he was in that movie and a bunch of others.

      You make a good point about people handling stress and their relationship differently. A lot of widows report not being able to eat for months.

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  12. I saw this man (boy) on CBS Sunday Morning show a few weeks back. He was so interesting and the story grabs you no matter what. THen to see that his mom never left this spot in case her son ever came home was gut wretching.

    This year I learned I was a stress eater. With my husbands health issues this year I have gained 18lbs. I am now on a diet. Oh how it all sucks. :-)

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  13. To lose two sons like she did was heart-wrenching and you couldn't help feeling so happy that she got one back. It as short of amazing.

    Boy can I identify with stress eating due to health issues with a spouse! It does all suck...gaining it, losing it, worrying about it.

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  14. Good for you! Sounds like you've found what will work for you. Thats one way to get an early start on the day. I'm such a night owl it would never work for me, not that I shouldn't exercise more. Could benefit from removing a few pounds, which come off pretty slowly but am comfortable with that. Words, their history and usage interesting -- what's colorful, risqué, and even considered objectionable in different generations -- like banned books. Enjoy your family BD celebrations!

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    1. I'm a nigh owl, too, but the only other move it class is after 5:00 at night and I figured the gym will be full of young people on the way home from work and it's only seven weeks. I can do anything for seven weeks. Or at least that is the plan.

      Euphemisms in past centuries enabled people to talk about stuff the kids and delicate women wouldn't understand and they lasted longer. Now it's so easy to google a euphemism that the slang words are coming out faster and faster and it's the kids who want to have words their older generations won't understand.

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  15. Re: your comment on this entry, in my blog... "I don't know how people read (blogs) on those little devices."

    Neither do I!!! And I'm so happy to see someone else, say this!!! "Back in the day," we did all our blogging, composing/reading/commenting, on a computer. We who are old enough to remember, that is! >,-) But today! It seems people want to gaze at the tiniest screen, they can get their hands on. Grumble, grumble, grumble....

    Good luck with your "Boot Camp Of Exercise"!!! Hooray for you, doing this. I wish you well.

    I'm losing weight all on my own. You are stress eating, because of the change in Administration. I am relieved and happy, that President Trump won. So I am not stress eating, anymore. >,-))))

    And now you can see, why I have not come over to read/comment in your blog, before now. I see you commenting, where I read. And of course, I looked into you, another blogging "woman of a certain age." But...

    Reading here... I knew it would be difficult, to relate here.

    For myself, I have let my political views creep into my blog, at times. But of late, have been trying very, very, very hard, to cease doing this. My personal call, of course. Better for my BP. Not everyone's call.

    I need to get away from constant politics, because it is not, not, not good, for my Blood Pressure. And I hope, that by skipping politics, my blog can be a visiting place, for more, who also want to --- not argue.

    Thank you again, for coming and commenting!

    Best of luck, with your "be-more-healthy" plans!

    Gentle hugs,
    Luna Crone

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    1. Politics on the social media and in blogs has become quite toxic, hasn't it and I too try hard not to write about it as often as it bothers bothers me in my daily life. But it does creep in.

      I read all your comments in Judy's blog and I don't know why it took me so long to actually take a peek at yours.

      Thank you for stopping by and good luck on your own weight loss.

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