Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

In January of 2012 my soul mate of 42 years passed away after nearly 12 years of living with severe disabilities due to a stroke. I survived the first year after Don’s death doing what most widows do---trying to make sense of my world turned upside down. The pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties are well documented in this blog.

Now that I’m a "seasoned widow" the focus of my writing has changed. I’m still a widow looking through that lens but I’m also a woman searching for contentment, friends and a voice in my restless world. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. I say I just write about whatever passes through my days---the good, bad and the ugly. Comments welcome and encouraged. Let's get a dialogue going! Jean

Friday, March 28, 2014

Widows and Weight Watchers


All week I’ve been weighing the pros and cons of going back to Weight Watchers to rid myself of the pounds I put on during my Winter of Boredom. The niece-in-law I walked the nature trail with all last summer signed up and she wanted to know if I’d be interested in going on Saturdays. One of the pros of going is that Weight Watchers has worked for me in the past. And if I want to live to be 100 I need to turn my diet around. Again. Why does healthy eating have to be so hard for some of us to maintain long term? The winter before last I spent a lot of months losing the weight I put on during my New Widow eating binges and now I’m right back where I started.

One of cons of going to Weight Watchers is the King Arthur Flour catalog for April just came in the mail to tempt me. Strawberry stuffed scones for breakfast? What a great idea! And have I mentioned that my social calendar for April and May is getting close to being overbooked? Losing weight is time consuming. Another con is I just signed up to use one of the gift certificates I won at an auction last year for cooking classes at an upscale restaurant in town. They are teaching Thai cooking the night of my class. How am I going to fit eating five Thai dishes and drinking wine into Weight Watchers’ Simple Start program? Lie, of course. All fatty-fatty-two-by-fours are good at that. No, I didn’t eat all that cake. The dog did it! I also hate all the measuring, counting and homework that comes with losing weight which probably explains a lot about why I have to do it in the first place. Now, they have all the online tools I’ll have to learn! Weight Watchers comes with too much homework and I am one, undisciplined widow who can’t be good for long. Jeez, if I left the food part out of that last sentence about being “an undisciplined widow who can’t be good for long” it would make a great line to use in an online dating profile.

Speaking of dating, if you read the Time Goes By blog linked in my sidebar this week Ronnie had an interesting post about statistics for the 65-plus population. One line really showcases the reason why so many senior halls are filled with mostly women. Quoting TGB: “In 2012 there were 43,145,356 people age 65 and older – about 5.5 million more women than men.” So, if you are a woman 65 or older who wants to date, feel free to use my undisciplined widow line. It might give you an edge. And if you are over 65 and still have a guy of your life, keep it in the back of your mind that if you ever need to supplement your income you could take him down to the senior hall and sell his hugs for a $1.00 each. Think of it like the old kissing booths of our youth only you’d be doing a good service for your senior sisters. Guy hugs are hard to come by the older you get!

Speaking of yarn---oh, I wasn’t it? Well, pretend I did and now I’m going to explain the photos below. They are baby sweaters I made for my nieces. They are both going to be first-time grandmothers soon and I knitted the sweaters to start their ‘sweater drawers.’ When they were growing up my mother always had a ‘sweater drawer’ where she kept extra clothing. It came in handy when my brother would send his kids (my nieces and nephew) over to the family cottage without a change of clothing and the weather would turn unexpectedly the way it often does around a round a lake. Both of my nieces have homes on lakes and I’m sure they’ll need to accumulate some extra stuff to have on hand for when the grand-babies visit. I knitted car seat blankets for the mothers of the babies so the sweaters are just something extra to acknowledge how special it is to be newly minted grandmothers.

From what I wrote above about joining Weight Watchers, one would think the cons outweigh the pros and I didn’t even mention that I’ve already signed up and paid for a restaurant crawl along Lake Michigan,  a fancy meal at a culinary college and a chocolate crawl in my adopted hometown. I have so many fatty-fatty-two-by-four 'holidays' coming up on my spring schedule! Plus I’ll need one glorious week to eat all the junk food in the house before starting Weight Watchers, But it’s time to pay the piper so I told my niece-in-law I’ll join after I have my bi-annual appointment with my internist coming up very soon. I’ll let him think my efforts to lose weight were inspired by him because I just know he’s going to give me The Lecture. ©




  1. Those sweaters are so cute. Congrats on becoming a great aunt. That is right, isn't it?

    W/W is great and after you've been on it for a week, all the details will become automatic. Dieting is such a bore, though. Once I get into it, it's okay, but I have to get into the right frame of mind before I begin.

    I'm not going to suggest to my husband about the hugs for other women. Nope!

  2. Thank you. They were fun sweaters to make. I will be a great-great aunt. I have been trying for years to get my great-niece to call me a her great aunt without much luck. Now I'll have a new crop of babies to work on.

    I'm guessing your husband is a natural hugger. He just looks warm and friendly. LOL

  3. Morning! YES! Do join WW. Ir just keeps you mindful of eating. You can do all your foodie things, just way smaller portions. And like Bella says, after the first week, you no longer need the measuring spoons and cups. I still have my glass of wine at night ... but now it's just ONE.

    My hardest part is eating in the evening. It used to be potato chips (a LOT, not a carefully portioned cup full). So I bought an air popper and enjoy warm salty crunchy popcorn. Small changes.

    I'm struggling with BLTs (bites, licks and tastes) when cooking for the kids!!

    And I love Time Goes By!! So glad you follow so I could find the link. She lives in my condo complex!!!

    1. What a small world it is that Ronni from TGB lives in your condo complex! Did you know her before you started following her blog?

      I'm going to start W.W. the second week in April. You'll be hearing me screaming and kicking as I enter their doors. I'm glad you're doing it, too. Are you taking part in their online community?

  4. Yes remember, as we age we are suppose to keep a little "extra" weight on so that if we get really sick, we won't look like a skeleton by the time we get better--that was the advice from my doctor :-) When Fred died, I didn't have to cook meals anymore and I also lost my appetite, so I am now as thin as I was when I was 30. I am always heavier when I am happy and skinny when I am sad.

    1. Isn't it amazing how our weight and emotions are so closely tied together?

  5. Like Judy, I'm skinnier when I'm sad. It sounds like Weight Watchers can work, if one can put up with the policing. Rules and me are like oil and water. I prefer the 'club for acting in our best pleasures' , assuming it will overlap enough with my best interests to keep me alive and kicking. Remember, the prettiest thing we wear is our smile.

    About those dating statistics...they're like employment statistics. Not every person's looking any more. In fact I haven't met a widow over 65 who is. Or even a widow over 60 (my age). Therefore, I estimate active seekers are maybe 2 women to 1 man, though this is purely my optimism talking. In any case I'm temporarily giving up my spot in Project Rematch, so jump while you can, ladies.

    1. I'm the opposite. When I'm sad I eat, when I'm happy I don't. Well, I do but it'd definitely a different kind of eating. I'm in control when I'm happy and not bored.

      Both my brother and my dad found long-term girlfriends who were not looking for love. Both women had been alone a lot of years and had given up on dating. My brother met his friend at a high school class reunion and he is older than me. So if it's what you want, love is out there. I think the trick for both of them was they kept doing things in the community that they enjoyed doing and the chips just fell their way....with help from the statistics, I'm sure.