Welcome to the Misadventures of Widowhood blog!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, August 20, 2025

Backpacks, Book Bags, and Breasts: A Late Summer Ramble

From pencil boxes to bug-out bags, this late-summer reflection traces the evolution of back-to-school rituals, family gatherings, and one marble sculpture with a surprising afterlife. A nostalgic, humorous look at how backpacks—and the memories they carry—have changed over the decades. AI

It’s been in the high 80s and we're only mid-way through August, but people are already grumbling about the end of summer. Considering how early kids go back to school these days, I shouldn’t be surprised. Historically speaking—does that sound better than “Back in my day”?—we never started school before Labor Day. God, I’m old.

This past weekend, I went to my youngest niece’s cottage for an end-of-summer swim party she was hosting for her grandkids and her brother’s. Normally, I wouldn’t have been included, but my nephew’s wife had recently talked to me on the phone and asked my niece to invite me. I’m not sure why, exactly—maybe I was just on her mind. It’s rare that I get to see my nephew, so I was glad for the opportunity.

All the kids in my family are growing up so fast. Even though I frequently see their faces on Facebook, I couldn’t pick most of them out in a lineup. A few had brought friends, which made it even harder to sort the wheat from the staff. Not the best metaphor for little kids, but you get my drift. I like interacting with children, but when time is limited, I’d rather the seashell or cookie conversation be with one from my own bloodline.

The Cookie Conundrum

The cookie conversation was my favorite. Three little girls—home-schooled, and I suspect not often indulged with store-bought sweets—were debating whether to choose a sugar cookie or a chocolate chip. A boy chimed in: “Have one of both!” But one of the girls quickly pointed out that there were 14 cookies and 14 kids. Finally, I suggested cutting a few cookies in half so they could sample both kinds. Their eyes lit up like little light bulbs. Problem solved. Off they went to swim in the lake.

Backpacks and Book Bags, Then and Now

 
Back-to-school shopping historically speaking didn’t include buying a backpack. (With a few tweaks, that sentence could be a tongue twister.) We didn’t even have those straps to hold books together like Laura Ingalls had on Little House on the Prairie. That show was set in the late 1800s, and their solution—a belt with new holes punched in—was surprisingly practical.

Online sources say book straps were replaced by “napsacks” in the 1930s, and backpacks didn’t really take off until the 2000s. But all I remember using were my arms—even when I took the bus daily to college. These days, I have enough canvas book bags to supply an entire grade. Of course, mine don’t feature cartoon characters or superheroes, so no self-respecting kid would want one. I’d have to ship them off to a refugee camp before they’d be appreciated for their usefulness rather than their art museum logos.

My obsession with book bags came long after I finished school. When Don and I first met, we lived a mile apart, and I was always packing up for weekends at his house—he worked on trucks, and I made wood fiber flowers thus my work was more portable than his. His neighbors nicknamed me “The Bag Lady” before we were formally introduced.

The One with the Most Toys

One of my book bags has a faded quote: “The one who dies with the most toys, wins.” That phrase was popular back in the day, printed on signs and canvas bags sold mostly in antique stores. Don took it to heart. He started collecting the toys he’d lost as a child—ones he watched a tornado hurl away from his childhood home while he stood in the doorway of the barn
old enough by then to be antiques. The storm spared a 1955 Ford tractor, which never did a day’s work again. Don eventually bought it from his mom and elevated it to sculpture status. By the time I sold it after he died in 2012, it was a classic antique destined for a full restoration. Don would’ve been thrilled. That’s what many widows try to do with their husband's treasures, isn’t itmake them happy with where they end up? Their prize possessions ended up, not the husbands.


Pencil Boxes and Marble Women 

 

Back in my day, I had my share of pencil boxes. I loved them. Still do. In college, I carried a metal fishing tackle box full of art supplies—two, actually: one king-size and one smaller,
tailored to the day’s class. Two days a week, it was sculpture class, where I spent a semester working on a headless, limbless marble woman. My poor dad and brother helped me pick up the stone—a tombstone with a misspelling, sold to students and artists—and they hauled it to the college art studio and back home again at the end of the semester. It was only half done, but the professor encouraged me to finish it over the summer. And that’s how I ended up with an ill-gotten set of marble carving tools. Oops.

The sculpture? The stone was pared down past the lettering and its classic tombstone shape was gone and a set of breasts was emerging, just enough to earn me an A. I was going to be the next Michelangelo until I learned he dissected dead people to understand anatomy. Last I saw my half-done sculpture was in my nephew’s garden. A friend once admired the flowers around it, stepped back, and said, “Is that what I think it is?” I’m afraid ask if he still has the stone at the house he bought from by brother’s estate. He’s the one with the naive, home school grandkids who debated their cookie choices so I could understand if a naked garden lady was a problem.

Backpacks in the Age of Anxiety

With kids using devices instead of books, backpacks may shrink in size. But gun violence has changed things—some schools now require clear plastic backpacks. A few worried parents go further, buying bulletproof ones. So much thought goes into picking a backpack now, beyond which superhero starred in the summer blockbuster.

The local TV station is running its annual drive to fill a moving van up with new and gently used backpacks for marginalized neighborhood schools. I have an olive green one from the Sierra Club—a donation premium—that might end up on that van someday. For now, it’s filled with bug-out gear in case of a fire or tornado. I should check its contents, swap out the energy bars, and update the emergency info. 
I really am getting old so maybe should also tell my nieces to look for the $50 bill tucked inside. I’m my mother’s daughter, after all—she knew how to make disposing of her stuff rewarding. ©

Until Next Wednesday.

Note: The bold headlines in between paragraphs were created by AL.

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