“Not in Assisted Living (Yet): Dispatches from the Edge of Independence!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, September 17, 2025

Processing Charlie Kirk’s Assassination in a Divided Nation

The assassination of conservative activist Charlie Kirk at Utah Valley University has ignited national debate—and personal reflection. As someone who never followed Kirk closely, Jean was stunned, not by the violence itself, but by the grief expressed by people she loves. In this post, Jean explores Kirk’s controversial legacy, the polarized reactions to his death, and the uncomfortable conversations it sparked in her life. What does political violence reveal about the state of our country—and about the values we hold dear? AI….

Charlie Kirk’s assassination last week didn’t just shake the political world—it shook me, too, in ways I hadn't anticipated. I had never paid much attention to him until the news broke and then I took a deep dive into his history.

In 2018 Charlie Kirk was included on the Forbes Magazine list 30 Under 30 in Law and Policy. He was 24 years old and several years before that he was the youngest speaker to ever appear at a Republican National Convention. Among his other accomplishments was founding Turning Point USA
—a far-right organization that today claims to be the largest MAGA youth group, with a presence on 2,500 campuses. It opposes gun control, vaccines, abortion rights, LGBTQ rights, and promotes Christian Nationalism and a grab-bag of conspiracy theories. It’s not hyperbolic to say that Charlie Kirk made a name and a fortune for himself. His estate is estimated at twelve million dollars. Politics pays well.

Last Wednesday he was speaking at a large rally and just before he was assassinated he was asked by an audience member: “Do you know how many transgender Americans have been mass shooters in the past ten years?” “Too many,” Kirk said, then added. “Counting or not counting gang violence?” 
Those were his final words—provocative, divisive, and now immortalized in his short but impactful life.

I never gave Charlie his due for his sphere of influence. I knew he thought the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was a “huge mistake” and that its led to what the far-right thinks is a DEI culture. I knew his misogynistic viewpoint about birth control making women “angry and bitter.” I knew he’s said young women need to “get back to prioritizing marriage and motherhood,” and give up their aspirations of having careers. 

I also knew he publicly made a pitch for a “patriot” to come forward to bail out the person who attacked Paul Pelosi with a hammer. But I didn’t know that after he was shot I’d see so many of my conservative friends and neighbors express their profound and deepest grief over his passing. I thought he was just a shock jockey pod-castor on the fringe of the Republican Party. 

Learning the wide scope of Kirk's power in the Republican Party started with some Facebook posts. Friends and relatives plastered the site with their admiration and grief. One was posted by one of my favorite people on earth. In the video someone asked Charlie, “If I was dying of a gun shot and had 30 seconds to live what would you tell me?” Charlie answered that "he was about to meet the Eternal Judgment and the only important thing is if you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior—not how many good deeds you’d done, not how much money you have or what’s on your moral scorecard. Nothing else is going to cut it except accepting Jesus.” (Quoted verbatim.)

Not long after watching that video I got a phone call from a (MAGA and pseudo religious) 
relative who quickly worked the conversation around to Charlie. But what was really on her mind is she wanted to know if I’ve accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior yet. I told her I believe in the historical Jesus but not the mystical Jesus meaning I believe he walked the earth and was the founder of a world religion just like Mohammad, Buddha and Abraham were—but I don’t subscribe to the idea he had any mystical powers. I would never say this to her but I think it’s utterly ridiculous to believe that accepting Jesus as your savior is the only way to find a divine consciousness or to tap into a universal, spiritual force.

After spending my morning reading about Charlie Kirk, I went down to lunch. When I sat down the woman next to me was talking about how awful it was that “they” killed him. (Current events are rarely ever discussed at our lunch table so that alone was telling.) Then she looked at me and asked, “Or are you one of those who is cheering his death?” She knows I’m part of the Tuesday Night (Political) Conversation Dinner Group which is probably why she made the jab but still I was shocked at the insult. “Of course not!" I replied. "I don’t want to live in a country where political assassinations are becoming disturbingly routine."

Someone else said we have to find a way to bring people back together. "How did we get so polarized?" another woman asked. Then I made the mistake of saying it started when Trump— That’s as far as I got before someone jumped on me, saying, “Please don’t bring politics into this tragedy!” Not wanting to add more heat to the conversation I didn’t spit back what I was thinking, and I was thinking how on earth can you NOT bring politics into a political assassination? He wasn’t shot for a personal scandal or happenstance. I didn’t say another word through lunch and the conversation around me ended in the same place as the phone call I’d gotten earlier by someone saying, "Charlie is in heaven, now, where he and Jesus are walking hand in hand." Cynical me thought, there must be a meme out there expressing that sentiment.

I neither mourn nor celebrate Charlie Kirk’s death. But I do mourn what it reveals about the country I (used to) love—and how far we’ve drifted apart in what we value about life, liberty and patriotism. The fact that the president wants to posthumously award Mr. Kirk the National Medal of Freedom and allow him to lie in state in the Capitol building is not only inappropriate it puts a giant explanation point on our deep divide. ©


“We can return violence with violence. We can return hate with hate. And that’s the problem with political violence,” Governor Cox of Utah said. “It metastasizes, because we can always point the finger at the other side. And at some point, we have to find an off-ramp, or it’s going to get much, much worse.”  

37 comments:

  1. I agree completely with your comments on the historical Jesus.

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    1. And yet it's so hard for some people to understand that statement.

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    1. Can you believe it, after that lunch conversation I got a note shoved under my door asking me to never bring Trump up again because "we need to keep this a pleasant place to live." I wrote her a note back and asked her if she also sent a note to the woman who asked me if i cheered Kirk's death? Why is it that we liberals are the ones who have to bite our tongues?

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  3. I had never heard of Charlie until his death since I stay away from most news sources these days. I don't believe in anything he believed in but I still hate to see anyone killed. And I agree. It really became main stream with Trump and the ugly attitude he loves to spread.

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    1. Charlie was super well known in the MAGA world. And right now they want to raise up to sainthood.

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  4. Wow, just wow what a powerful blog, I commend you for saying what so many of us are thinking. I personally had never heard of the man until after he had died but am shocked at how his death has risen to celebrity rating. Flags at half staff, entertainers stopping concerts to publicly acknowledge his death, and the leader of our country attending his funeral. No one, regardless of their political beliefs, deserves to die like he did but then innocent children should never die at their schools either. I do believe in God and I know He would never want anyone to suffer such a horrific death. It’s time to put politics aside and stand up to those who continue to slaughter innocent children and adults just because they can. May God help us all. JJ

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    1. Charlie had a real cavalier attitude about school shootings. He said, ""I think it's worth having the cost of unfortunately some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the second amendment to protect our other god-given rights that is a prudent deal." -Charlie Kirk He's done so many pod casts it's easy to find out where he stood on any given topic and I haven't found a single one I agree with. yet. The contrast to the way MAGA world is expecting us all to act to his death is quite a contrast to way they didn't even acknowledge the death of the MN Senate and her husband and dog getting killed a few months ago. People are getting fired from their jobs for not liking Charlie.

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  5. Well, I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am, that someone would call to ask if you have accepted Jesus as your lord & savior. This Kirk shooting has really brought out the crazy. As someone said, it really helped me to clean up my FB friends. I had no idea some of them were in the cult that deep.
    As for the Kirk discussion, it is ironic that quoting his own words is considered wrong. No, they aren’t out of context, people. That is what he believed. Irony is dead in this country.
    My hat is off to the Brits at their reactions to Trump’s visit. Projecting a photo of him with Epstein on the side of Windsor Castle. And running a TV special “Trump & the Truth” about all the lies he has told in his second term. They are clearly not afraid of him.

    One final note. Robert Redford was such an amazing, talented man. And so very gorgeous. RIP.

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    1. Kirk's death, did show me just how deep some of my family and friends are into the cult. Either they only hear him speak his Jesus talk or they agree with him when he says things like black women don't have big enough brains to be leaders (talking about C. Harris and M. Obama). The agree with him when he quotes the Bible as a reason to condemn the gay community, I love how people who do that don't seem to read the parts of the Bible that condemn sleeping with thy neighbor's wife or bearing false witness.

      A had a good friend call me about Robert Redford's passing and reminded me of how I used to have such a crush on him. That never really changed over the years. I admired him for the way he lived and the values he had and, of course, for being such a perfect example of male eye candy.

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  6. I agree with you completely about this, Jean.
    (Also, I agree with you about Robert Redford!)

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  7. Curious…what is the AI thing at the beginning of your post? Saying what your post is about…
    Also I agree totally with your post. Anyone with a tenth of a thinking brain can see trump is the "king" of hateful speech and rhetoric.mary

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    1. After I write my post I ask Microsoft Co-pilot (which is their AI) to look it over and write me a search engine friendly introduction for the post. I label it 'AI' because I don't want to take credit for writing something I didn't. Since I've added the introductions, It's increased the traffic on my blog quite a bit from what it was, so the experiments going to stay.

      People who can't see that 45/47 started, or at the very least elevated the nastiness in the public square heads buried deep in the sand.

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  8. "...the only important thing is if you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior—not how many good deeds you’d done, not how much money you have or what’s on your moral scorecard. Nothing else is going to cut it except accepting Jesus.” Sounds like a "Get out of jail free" card for shitty humans everywhere, especially Mr. Kirk. Who sounds like one of the shittiest but that doesn't mean he deserved to die. And now it seems like his wife is poised to continue his grifting...but the far right wants women to stay at home, pregnant and barefoot, so how long before she is silenced one way or the other too?

    Deb

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    1. I've long compared the acceptance of Jesus as a get out of jail card. Just say the magic words and don't worry about past or future sins.

      Mrs. Kirk and his followers will find a way to make an exception for her not staying at home. Remember Phyllis Schlafly who lectured against women's rights in the 1980s. Thought women should stay home with their children but she worked full time traveling the country trying to defeat the Equal Rights Amendment? Her grown daughter said her mother never attended a single one of her school or dance functions, she was gone so much. Conservatives are good at the "do as I say, not as I do."

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  9. I have mixed feelings about Mr Kirk. I admire that he was willing to talk to anyone and stay calm and on point while doing it, yet many of his views seem bizarrely contradictory to his committment to Jesus.
    I'm hoping that someone like Spencer Cox, the thoughtful articulate governor of Utah, becomes the Republican nominee next election. I worry our democracy won't endure another term of someone as divisive as Donald Trump.

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    1. It was part of his podcasts and rally pre-speeches to talk to anyone and you are right that he stayed calm during those exchanges. Something we can't say about all our politicians today.

      Spencer Cox seems like a good guy, Old school Republican and we need more of those kinds.

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    2. I was unaware of Gov. Cox until this incident and he seems to be mostly measured in his speaking, but his fixation on the shooter's "transgender roommate who was male and is becoming female" really annoyed me. Every time I heard him speak, he repeated some form of this phrase. Then he made remarks about "coming together." I just wanted to say, "dude, this ain't the way to do it." I saw multiple reports about the shooter's roommate who was cooperating with the investigation and no one else dwelled on the roommate's gender. It's obvious to me (as you touched on above) that as long as the left comes around to seeing things the way MAGA does, we can all live happily ever after. Uh, sure!

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    3. I wasn't aware the Governor Cox was speaking on the gender on the shooter's roommate repeatedly. That would annoy me too. It seemed like the transitioning part of the story kind of fell apart---less people talking about it---so I was even wondering if it was true.

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  10. I've been absolutely shocked at all the hoopla around Charlie Kirk's death. At the Republicans first claiming "the left" was behind it, and refusing to give that up even when the kid's father, a Republican and Mormon, made him turn himself in. It HAS to be "the left". And yes, all the flags at half-mast, when Trump didn't do that for Melissa Hortman, who served in the Minnesota House of Representatives for 20 years and Speaker of the House of Representatives since 2019. She was assassinated in April, along with her husband and their dog (I mean, their dog? what kind of depraved jerk kills a couple and their dog?). And Charlie's wife has continued their fundraising and has collected over 5 million dollars so far. This country is insane. I feel so sorry for today's kids, at least most people my age had a good childhood. I never had to worry about school shootings (although in 6th grade we did have drills where we had to go out in the halls and hunker down and put our heads between our knees and cover our necks in case of a nuclear attack, but that was because we lived very near an Air Force Base and were a primary target). Now kids have bulletproof backpacks and shooter drills. I'm glad I'm old.

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    1. I had that same conversation with someone today about being glad I'm at the end of my life and not young. High school kids have never leaved without mass school shootings and they aren't old enough to remember civility in your government leaders. 45/47 didn't acknowledge the Hortman kills in any way other than answer a question with, "Why should I call anyone? I didn't know them.

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  11. I hadn't heard of Charlie Kirk either. Great post! I'm glad you slipped your note under that gal's door.

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    1. Would you believe the next day after the notes exchanged she came up to me and said, "I need to hug you." I chose to believe it was an apology hug.

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  12. He said and I quote, it's okay for a few gun deaths to protect our 2nd amendment. So I am sure he is thrilled to be one of those gun deaths.

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  13. "I neither mourn nor celebrate Charlie Kirk’s death." Me too. He's gone, let's move on.

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  14. There are so many different kinds of people in our world. I accept Jesus as an historical person and I try to be agnostic about people who are too far left or too far right. So much hateful politics which I prefer to avoid. Hugs are good ... apology goods as well. Good for you!

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    1. It's hard to avoid people who want to preach at you and about you. But I don't do anything to bring it or politics on.

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  15. Thank you for being a voice of reason. I do not mourn him. I think he was an evil person. I am not sure I am allowed to say that in the United States of America.

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    1. Who would have ever guessed we get to a place where you and I are afraid there could be repercussions for saying we don't mourn a person that the president and his MAGA followers are elevating to sainthood.

      Just learned that Jimmy Kimmel got canceled for what he said about the Right trying to blame anyone but their own for murdering Kirk.

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  16. I continue to read your biweekly blog, although I've stopped commenting.

    I admire your courage in writing on the Kirk killing, as otherwise I'd think the US completely bonkers.

    I've always distrusted people who are overly religious, regardless of the religion..

    Like you, I'm so glad I'm near the exit. Today's world leaves me often SMDH.

    Libby from Oz

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    1. I'm happy to know you still come to my blog. Commenting can be frustrating sometimes. I know I get lucked out of commenting on some of my favorite ones to read. Bugs in the system.

      I hate that it does take courage to write about Mr. Kirk as it did cross my mind that our country is so off center right now that powers that be could kick me out off the platform and I do enjoy blogging a lot.

      White Nationalism is so opposite to the teachings of Jesus yet it is spreading thanks to people like Kirk. It takes a selfish, me first kind of thinking to believe the crap White Nationalist spread and I really hate.

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  17. This whole thing has become a horrible, demented farce. The martyrdom of Kirk. That SO denigrates the term "martyr." It's definitely brought out the cult and is beginning to impact our country on even more significant issues -- namely, the first amendment, among others. He may have been a believer but anyone who believes as he does has deeply warped values and dare I say is a horrible person? There is no excuse for racism. There is no excuse for nationalism. Or fascism by any name. There is no excuse for so many of the things he has said (including the Pelosi remark). No one should die, there should be no assassinations of political (or other) figures, but if I had ever heard about him before and had the power to vaporize people, I would have (along with a few others.) Unfortunately, vaporizing idiots is not in my collection of superpowers. Instead, I go to protests.

    I applaud you for writing this. I also applaud you for keeping your mouth shut at lunch because I couldn't have.

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    1. I watched about two and a half hours of his five your memorial service today and they are definitely elevating Charlie to a martyr. Steven Miller and Trump, of course were the most political. The other line of speakers were more in line with a religious revival only instead of Jesus or God being the center of the worshiping it was Charlie. It's scary to think he could get bigger in death than he was in life.

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  18. Well, Yes Jean, to it all. They had the Memorial here not far from where we live coz we can see the Stadium from our Home. It was quite the Human Sideshow and of coarse the Prez flew in for it, at Luke AFB nearby, so everything was quite the Production for miles and miles. In the Wake of the Memorial around the Stadium was literally TRASHED and the lovely Neighborhoods around it, took Bulldozers to remove it!!! They are so desperately on the Far Right trying to Martyr and make this Podcast Bro' into a Saint, which literally perverts what Sainthood is about and the criteria used to be considered one. Of coarse, so much of Religion has been absolutely perverted and toxic now, so, I can't say I'm Surprised at all. Any Murder is a tragedy, as much as any other Violent Crime is, I have empathy and compassion for anyone whose Touched by such an Act. However, how he Died doesn't excuse how he Lived. And seems this Regime is using his Death as a handy distraction and a reason to impose more attempts to Silence and take away 1st Amendment Rights from those of us who don't agree with them. At least the blowback from the Firing of Kimmel was spendy enuf to Disney they reinstated him, and being Shaken Down and Extorted by the Orange Career Criminal didn't work out for them like they anticipated when the Public wasn't having any of it, began cancelling Subscriptions and their Stock plummeted coz Investors were unloading their Shares. Hitting them all in the Wallet is the best Resistance IMO, Money is so important and their god... I highly suspect that's what god the Admirers suppose is walking Hand in Hand with a Man who spewed so much venom and Hatred? It blows my Mind Jean... and yet, so many are on Board, aren't they... and we know many of them... it will be the ruination of our Nation... pitting Americans against Americans and attempting to take all Rights away from the majority of us due to Gender, Race, Religion, Sexual Orientation, Nation of Origin, Political Views.

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    1. I actually watched 3 hours or that 5 hour memorial. It was like a religious revival and his wife...She's like the reincarnation of Tammy Faye Baker with her fake blonde hair and eyes glazing up to the Lord and her plans to carry on Charlie's work of bran storming colleges to tell women to stay home and take care of their kids while she doesn't. All of 45/47 cabinet spoke. Why? They really tried to turn him into a saint!

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