“Not in Assisted Living (Yet): Dispatches from the Edge of Independence!

Welcome to my World---Woman, widow, senior citizen seeking to live out my days with a sense of whimsy as I search for inner peace and friendships. Jeez, that sounds like a profile on a dating app and I have zero interest in them, having lost my soul mate of 42 years. Life was good until it wasn't when my husband had a massive stroke and I spent the next 12 1/2 years as his caregiver. This blog has documented the pain and heartache of loss, my dark humor, my sweetest memories and, yes, even my pity parties and finally, moving past it all. And now I’m ready for a new start, in a new location---a continuum care campus in West Michigan, U.S.A. Some people say I have a quirky sense of humor that shows up from time to time in this blog. Others say I make some keen observations about life and growing older. Stick around, read a while. I'm sure we'll have things in common. Your comments are welcome and encouraged. Jean

Wednesday, September 3, 2025

Review of The Book of Two Ways by Jodi Picoult — A Deep Dive into Death, Desire, and the Dilemma of ‘What If’

 


If you’ve ever wrestled with the haunting question “What might my life have looked like if I’d chosen differently?” then The Book of Two Ways will hit close to home—and possibly leave you fuming. In this spoiler-heavy review, Jean unpack Picoult’s ambitious novel that blends death doula work, Egyptian archaeology, and quantum theory into a tangled narrative of love, loss, and unresolved choices. While the book is rich in research and philosophical depth, its ending left her unsatisfied and emotionally rattled. Read on if you’re ready to explore the messy beauty of parallel lives—and why sometimes, closure matters more than cleverness. AI….

Spoiler Alert: If The Book of Two Ways is still on your “To Read” list and you prefer to go in blind, skip this post. I’m about to work through my frustrations with how Jodi Picoult chose to end this well-researched but emotionally packed and surprising novel.


The protagonist, Dawn, is a Death Doula. According to Wikipedia, a Death Doula "is a person who assists in the dying process much like a midwife does with the birthing process. They’re non-medical professionals who help the dying wrap up loose ends while offering emotional and spiritual support." Loose ends might include anything from completing a 'Honey-Do List' to tracking down a lost love and delivering a final letter. Whatever the client needs.


Personally, if I had a Death Doula at the end of my life, I’d ask her to make a vibrator disappear. Too much information? Maybe. But I’m hoping that it adds a little shock-awe-humor to this post. Whether it’s true or not—I’ll let you decide.


Back to Dawn. In her college days, she was a budding Egyptologist, but life intervened—her mother entered hospice care, and Dawn left her undergrad program unfinished. (Been there, done that.) During an archaeological dig fifteen years before the book’s present timeline, she had a summer affair with a fellow student named Wyatt. Fast forward: she marries Brian, a man she met while both had loved ones in the same hospice home. They build a good life together while raising a daughter—who Dawn initially believes is Brian’s, but turns out to be Wyatt’s.


The book’s title refers to a map painted inside Egyptian coffins, showing both a land and water route to the afterlife. In Picoult’s plot, these maps become metaphors for Dawn’s choice: stay in her stable marriage or rekindle her relationship with Wyatt and return to the life she left behind. It’s the classic “What If” game many of us play as we age.


Major spoiler alert: Picoult ends the book without revealing what Dawn decides. Some readers on a fan site say this mirrors “the idea of parallel lives and the unknowability of fate.” Others call it a cop-out. Still others note that Picoult often presents moral or emotional dilemmas rather than tidy conclusions.


I’m firmly in the camp that felt cheated. She created an impossible choice—one that hurts someone no matter what Dawn chooses. The old romance reader in me wanted one more chapter. I wanted Dawn to stay in America until her daughter finishes high school, not abandon a 15-year relationship for a romanticized summer fling. The idea that she’d throw away a shared life for something that might not live up to the fantasy made me angry. It’s easy to romanticize the past and take for granted the quiet strength of a long-standing relationship. I think most of us make peace with our choices. We'll never know if Dawn did the same.


Can you tell I’ve played the “What If” game a few times? 


And that wasn’t the only thing that made me angry. One of Dawn’s clients wrote a letter to a lost love, and Dawn planned to deliver it before the client died. But when she saw the man through a window—seemingly happy with his family—she chose not to disrupt his life. That decision, while questionable, was forgivable. What wasn’t forgivable was telling the dying woman, just moments before she took her last breath, that she hadn’t delivered the letter. A letter the client said was her most important final wish. If ever there’s a time for a little white lie, it’s on someone’s deathbed!


The book also dives into heavy themes like quantum physics—legitimate theories about parallel lives that sound like hocus-pocus but aren’t—and offers a fascinating glimpse into archaeological digs. But if I had to boil the book’s main theme down to one philosophical question, it would be: Do we make our choices, or do our choices make us? ©

Until Next Wednesday.

Favorite Quote from The Book of Two Ways: "Love isn't a perfect match but an imperfect one. You are rocks in a tumbler. At first you scrape, you snag. But each time that happens, you smooth each others edges, until you wear each other down. And if you are lucky at the end of all that, you fit."

Photo Credit at the top: Part of the Book of Two Ways on Coffin B1C, from Wael Sherbiny, Through Hermopolitan Lenses, Image by Jordan Miller. 

21 comments:

  1. That sounds like a book that’s right up my alley, but I don’t have time to read and, in fact, have four books waiting for me to get to. As for the what ifs, I did that recently when someone now deceased crossed my mind. I wondered what if things had worked out differently between he and I, would his life not have ended so tragically or would he have changed the course of my life, causing me to one day hate him, not be as content as I now am. I’m watching a lot of kDramas where the hero or heroine is reborn just hours before they make a choice that would end in their demise. Now knowing what is instore for them, they prevail against the ones that would do them harm. That sometime sends me back into wondering what if being reborn as an adult, in the same life, was an option, how far back would I want to be reborn to so I could handle some situations where I was weak and insecure, let people walk all over me, didn’t speak up and reborn, knowing what was going to be said and done to me, have an opportunity to speak up, slap a few folks, LOL.

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    1. The 'what if' game can be enlightening, can't it. It sounds like you're happy with the way you turned out and who knows if changing things in our past---the hard parts---would have not given us the opportunity to grow strong like you obviously have.

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  2. Thanks for the warning, that's a book I will definitely avoid!

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    1. I do normally love her books. And consisting I couldn't stop thinking about this one after I finished it, I'd have to say it did what books are supposed to do, it was a success.

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  3. I have read several of her books but not this one. I understand the idea of being able to plan your own death but not sure that is something we get to decide. I do, however, think that some people suffer far longer than they should but still I would hesitate to have someone assist me in my death. I guess the bottom line is God decides when we are born and when we die but I don’t believe He would want us to suffer. Very deep subject and I am sure that there are many varied opinions. I am going to see if my library has the book so I can did a little deeper into the subject. JJ

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    1. The book isn't about assisted suicide. Death Doulas help people wrap up lose ends, so to speak. People in Hospice care. If you want to read a book where assisted suicide is an issue and handled well read, Me Before You by JoJo Moyes. The movie version is almost better. It's in my five top books of all time.

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  4. I have not read any of Jodi Poccult's books, but this one may have to be an exception, so thanks for the review. I recently had a bizarre experience, where I was looking up a high school boyfriend online (something I only rarely do). His family had moved several states away in our sophomore year. I was shocked to see that he was at that very moment 60 minutes away in my hometown. His sister's obit was in our hometown newspaper which came up in my online search. Her viewing was due to end in 10 minutes, funeral the following day. He has been on my mind ever since and I'm feeling a strong urge to write to him. Reading your review only strengthens that feeling. I'm not looking to rekindle or anything like that, but our ending did leave something to be desired and it would be nice to have a more positive closure.
    Nina

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    1. What an interesting coincidence that you'd be doing a search when the guy was presumably going through a period of high emotions. I have a best friend/girlfriend for over 75 years and we always pick up on the other's high stresses even though we are states away from each other and hadn't talked in weeks.

      What ifs with old relationships is about closer, I think, not rekindling in most cases. I had that same kind of strong urge to write to a guy I was pen pals with during Vietnam. In your case, you've got a logical reason to send him a sympathy card which would put the ball in his court without it hurting any current relationship he's in. After weeks of indecision I opted not to contract my pen pal because I didn't know how his wife would react even though our relationship was never romantic.

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    2. I recently reconnected with the guy who took me to my senior prom 60 years ago. He saw me on Facebook and messaged me to see if I was okay after the flooding here in Texas. He lives in Las Vegas and has two sons from his first marriage which ended when his wife died fairly young (48). His second marriage ended in divorce and now he's retired. We continue to message back and forth, with the last one being about his paisley tuxedo he wore to the prom. Very cool.

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  5. I don't think I will mind when it is my time to die. I don't think I have any loose ends. I turned 75 this year and it seems as if things will just start going downhill from here. Friends, family dying. Health events becoming more frequent... Everyone will manage just fine without me and I've had a good life.

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    1. I think you speak Truth for a of people over 75. I'm getting there but I still feel like I have some things left undone.

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  6. Man, I don't agree with her choices at all. You don't make a promise on a death bed and not follow through! And I hate books with out an ending. Even if it is a crappy ending I don't agree with. Boo.
    I rarely play "What if". It keeps me up at night. And I can't go back and change anything. I think I always feel that I made the wrong decision when in reality no choice is going to lead to the perfect life.
    Aren't I a Debby Downer today!

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    1. If you are a Debby Downer today so am I. The author's choice to have a professional Death Doula not only break a promise she made about delivering the letter before she died was bad enough but to tell the client that she didn't carry it out was unforgivable. I can't remember ever reading a book with an unresolved ending and I hope I don't again. We haven't discussed the book in book club yet but i did sit next to a woman at dinner who said she'd never read jodi again. I won't say that because one of all-time favorite books Mad Honey was written by her.

      I think our wrong choices often teach us more than our right choices and they give us more empathy for others.

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  7. I skipped the read so I could read the book. Then I'll pop back and see what you got out of it.

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    1. I'm glad I wrote a strong spoiler. I hate when people don't and you are reading along in a blog post and 'wham' you can unsee what you just read about a book. Looking forward to you coming back with a comment.

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  8. My favorite author. Usually I have an opinion on the plot and end up changing my mind based on all the surrounding information. But no ending? And not doing the little white lie? May have to rethink reading (actually, listening) this one. Thanks for your evaluation.

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    1. I do usually love her books. In fact I count 'Mad Honey' in my top five favorite books. I can't say I didn't like it----at least parts, but the ending really bums me out. But I think it's meant to mirror the title of two ways her decision could take her and the reader gets to pick it.

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  9. I've read that book. Looked at my review and I guess I liked it but I remember at the time wishing it was over. I guess I wasn't into the Egyptology stuff and that was such a part of it. But having a death doula is very interesting.

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    1. If a person doesn't have a friend or spouse that can do all those end of life requests, I can see hiring a death doula. Most people who are in Hospice, though, find a way or a person to do what is important to them.

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    2. I have a friend who trained as a Death Doula. Having done hospice volunteer work for about seven years when I first retired, I know that is not for me. But telling someone on their deathbed that I decided not to carry out a final wish is just wrong IMO. And, like you, I would be really frustrated by that book ending. I have enjoyed many of her books but will pass on that one.

      I reconnected with my first love/former fiancé at a class reunion. There were a few visits just after, but it was clear to me over time that I would not change my decision. What we wanted in life (chiefly city mouse/country mouse) was too different. And then we hit 2016 and his FB page confirmed my decision making skills at 19 yo. Yikes. OTOH, maybe I could have talked him down back then. (Nah…it’s a cult.)

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    3. Oh, yes, you missed a bullet on that former fiance.

      Ya, I would think a code of ethics was broken by telling a client that a wish wasn't carried out, just before she passed. If I could asked Jodi one question it would be about that.

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