Some stories don’t begin with inspiration; they begin with an itch. A tug. A little internal nudge that says, Hey, remember who you used to be? Today Jean follows that tug back to her art‑soaked past—marble dust, William Blake, big dreams, and the long undertow that pulled them out to sea. Along the way she picks up a few modern irritations, a MAGA fruit fly, and a reminder that kindness is sometimes a very slow weapon. It’s a walk down Memory Lane with a few sharp turns, a little humor, and the unmistakable voice of someone who’s lived enough life to tell it straight….AI
Some ponies are one‑trick ponies. Some are two‑trick ponies. If the topics I write about were a pony, I’d be a five‑trick pony. My subjects range from fellow residents in my independent living facility, my Mahjong obsession, my health‑care woes, politics, and—probably too often—I wander down Memory Lane.
Today I feel like wandering back to the days when I was obsessed with art, both making it and studying it. But like many people, dreams of greatness give way to life’s everyday struggles: making a living, building a life with a significant other, supporting parents as they need more and more help, and grieving when one of them dies. The heydays of my self‑indulgent art period drifted far out to sea, pulled down by an undertow so strong even Jacques Cousteau couldn’t have rescued it.
| Etching print pulled from a metal plate |
The print and poem above were created in the ’80s, shortly after my mom died suddenly, done in a printmaking class during my William Blake phase. For those who might not know Blake (1757–1827), Wikipedia describes him as “an English poet, painter, and printmaker…now considered a seminal figure in the history of the poetry and visual arts of the Romantic Age.” He was obviously a prolific saver of his work, because you can’t study printmaking or poetry without tripping over him. At least you couldn’t during my era of being a sponge in the world of art history. I admired him. I wanted to be him…or Michelangelo…or John Singer Sargent.
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| Etching done by William Blake |
During my Michelangelo period, I actually tried marble carving in a sculpture class and I got an A for my efforts. If I had a photo of that unfinished sculpture of a woman’s breasts, I’d post it—but I don’t. I was in my twenties and I quickly learned I wasn’t physically equipped to haul slabs of marble around. I hadn’t met Don yet, and maybe that was a good thing. He was fascinated by my untested talents and would have gladly aided and abetted me continuing to carve marble. For a farm boy with no formal art training, he had a good eye, and in our early years together we went to a lot of art shows and galleries. But life has a way of changing, and we had to grow up and do adulting like everyone else.
If I could dig deep into my past and pull up one dream I still wish had happened, I’d choose to be John Singer Sargent. (That's a painting of his at the top.) But I never had the raw talent for that, nor do I have time left to develop the craftsmanship it would take to achieve even a tenth of his greatness. So I content myself with the occasional art class our Life Enrichment Director puts on our schedule. Last week she offered a video‑taught class on painting the Northern Lights, and it was very Mickey Mouse. Not even Disney‑quality Mickey Mouse — more like the knockoff version you’d find on a bootleg T‑shirt at a flea market. But I sign up for every art class she offers, just to support having an arts‑and‑crafts element on campus. The first painting below was done in my prime; the last one—of the Northern Lights—was done last week in whatever you’d call the opposite of my prime. My sub‑prime?
| One of my dogs sat for a formal portrait |
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| The Northern Lights |
A fellow resident bugs the heck out of me to start teaching a painting class here, and whenever our LED has a class, she always sits next to me. “So I can copy what you’re doing,” she says. Every time she brings up the idea of me teaching, I’m not wishy‑washy in saying no way will that ever happen. I don’t have the desire or the time to plan lessons on long‑forgotten techniques. But she is relentless. She tells people I’m shy (news to me) and she says, “I'm blowing Jean's horn because she's too shy to blow it herself.” She’s as annoying as fruit flies on a bunch of bananas. And she’s a die‑hard MAGA and Trump supporter to boot. She knows I’m part of the Liberal Ladies group here, and when Trump was reelected she said, “You just wait, you’re going to be really happy with how he’s going to turn this country around.”
Those words burn in my thoughts every so often when I’m sitting near her at our Monday Night farmhouse dinner table, biting my tongue at something she says. One of these days I’m going to buy a shirt I’ve had my eye on that says: “Killing them with kindness is taking longer than I expected.” If I wore that, I’d love to see how long it takes her to realize I’m not as nice as she thinks I am—that I’m a phony. That I don’t want to be her friend. That I’m not shy; I just don’t like her enough to teach her what I learned in over thirty years of being art‑obsessed. That if she wants a pedestrian teacher, she can hire Bob Ross’s ghost.
Sometimes I get tired of holding back my words in the name of keeping peace in the community. I imagine most of us do it, no matter which side of the whatever fence we’re on, because we value a peaceful, harmonious environment. I worry, though, that someday the filter in my brain—the one they say gives out in elderly people—will fail and I’ll start saying whatever I’m thinking. Please take me out behind the barn and shoot me if it does. I’ve gotten along 84 years without purposely offending anyone, and I don’t want to wreck that record now.Boy, did I take a detour on my walk down Memory Lane. But I guess there’s only so much a person can say to explain away the lost dreams and hopes of our youth—and without that detour, I wouldn’t have written enough to call it a blog post. Besides at my age, detours are half the fun. You start out talking about one thing and end up with a tale worthy of a confession booth. But somehow it’s all connected—our youthful dreams, the people we tolerate who we wish came with a mute button, our fears for the future, and trying to hold on to the version of ourselves we show the world. ©
Post-script because I can't seem to let go of this topic: Below is a custom, paint-by-number I did last winter of my great-great niece. I plan to do two more this coming winter. As a kid I started with paint-by-numbers and I thought going back to them might help me re-learn to control the paints. When I found out you could send the company a photo to turn into a custom, paint-by-number I was sold.





I like your artwork very much. You do have talent.
ReplyDeleteThank but it's not raw talent like the truly gifted, any skills I had were learned, craftsmanship. I went to grade and high school with a guy who was truly talented but he was such a perfectionist he could never hand in any assignment on time. Thus I was the one who got to design the year book cover and other projects we both were in the running for. There is a difference between talent and craftsmanship and when someone is able to harness both of those together you get the Old Master quality painters. But today the kind of art that sells is corporate art, meant to fill large spaces and not offend anyone.
ReplyDeleteThat paint by number is fabulous!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy doing them and the results.
ReplyDeleteI remember when you were doing the paint by numbers and how wonderful the portraits were! Thanks for posting this one.
ReplyDeleteMy aunt was a great artist. I was always trying to copy her techniques and I would fall so short. I don't like people judging my work because it always falls so short of what I am trying to do. I tried a painting class at our senior center and a class at our local library and dropped both because people complimented what I was doing - and I could see how badly I was doing, lol.
I was a "crafter". I sewed and quilted and loved the precision. But now with old lady eyes and arthritis I am not very precise. So I no longer sew or quilt. Before Covid (and a displaces spiral fracture of my humerus) I participated in stained glass classes for several years. I don't feel confident about glass cutting skills anymore and all my equipment and glass is packed away (near the fabric and sewing tools). This is making me sound very depressed, lol. Maybe I need to find a new hobby that I am good at!
I know exactly what you mean about accepting compliments on something we we know in our prime we could do so much better. It's hard to see our skills slipping and you are right, we need new hobbies as we age.
DeleteMy quilting skills are gone, too, although I keep thinking I have one more in me. I even tried stained glass and learned that whatever someone charges for their stained glass creation it was worth it.
I have zero artistic talent, so no great ambitions there. Good for you for trying not to hurt people's feelings. The one thing we can do for the world is try to be kind and patient.
ReplyDeleteSo true, but it's getting harder to do in these troubled times. I'll be so glad when the election is over.
DeleteYou have real talent, Jean! Above you mentioned it's not raw talent, but as you also said, some people with raw talent freeze up and don't get things done. The dog picture is so good!!
ReplyDeleteWe have to agree that Trump has turned the country around, but it's definitely headed in the wrong direction. I really hope Nov 3 makes a difference going forward. There are still too many MAGA cheerleaders around for my taste. I would probably not be able to hold my tongue as long as you have, especially given her gloating and false promises.
I see things in the my dog's portrait that I wish I could change, but that is true of everything I make. But I'm still proud of it and the hidden humor of having a dog sit in a Victorian era classic setting.
DeleteI'm still baffled by the MAGA cheerleaders still around. Nothing he does makes any difference to them.
Wow! Thanks for sharing/showing your talent. My Mom was an artist, mostly oil and mostly landscapes. My daughter is very creative and artistic as well. Me? It obviously skipped a generation. I do like how you blog and sometimes you have to start with an idea and have the words just flow.
ReplyDeleteIt's called a stream of consciousness style of writing. Where you just mind drift from one topic to another, which is what most of us do in conversations as well. I'll bet you were had a talent for entertaining and creating interesting menus back in the day.
DeleteAnother reason I feel I would not be suited to a living situation like yours ( I would not be able to keep my mouth shut) but I don't want to bother my son and his wife either. I am approaching 70 and think a lot about options.
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of options to think about. As a whole I'm happy with my choice. I didn't want some social worker making it for me, since I don't have kids or grandkids to do it, if I couldn't have done it for myself. Staying in the big house I was in was not sustainable both socially or physically. I did look for a smaller house, but I would have still had many of the same issues of maintaining it by myself and still end up living in a group environment when I can no longer drive.
DeleteYour paintings look great. Why don't you want to teach a class? It sounds like you know enough to make it worthwhile. But yes, it would be a lot of work. Don't sell yourself short, though. I could not do what you can do. I never had the interest, and I've never taken the time to learn.
ReplyDeleteI do have the patience to teach. I'm currently teaching Mahjong for the 4th time and everyone who has taken the class says I'm a good teacher. But painting is different. I learned the classic way---light, form, .composition, building layer upon layer, painting from life---and what is needed in these leisure time classes is the Bob Ross style which very formula. "You load your No 3 brush up with this and that and start your brush stroke here and end it there" sort of classes. The people in the class are not making any of the decisions about the composition or the colors. And the compositions are always the same, just different theme. I'm not saying they can't get some good results, I just can't imaging me teaching a class where 12 people are painting the exact, same thing. The art professor who lives here actually did try to teach a college level kind of painting class here but only 4 of us signed up. She wouldn't do a Bob Ross kind of class either.
DeleteGreat post that really resonates with me. Like you, I have prided myself on my diplomatic interactions with people whose politics I disagree with (or in the trump years, let's just acknowledge that I despise their politics). It is one of my greatest fears about living in a CCC - that as I age I will lose my filter. There is a brand new CCC in my area that primarily focuses on environmentally-friendly lifestyle practices that would almost certainly appeal to those who lean liberal, but alas, it is VERY expensive so probably out of my reach.
ReplyDeleteNina
I toured a lot of places before I landed here and there really is a lot of difference in them and you can pick up on that by reading their newsletters and activity boards. Some have church services every single day. Some have religious art every where. The mother-in-law of my nephew just toured my place as a favor to them (they wanted her closer to them than another place she favors). The mother-in-law is very religious and decided against my place because except for around Easter, we don't have many faith-based activities. In a town of 1,000 churches she can easily find a place like that.
DeleteWe have a place that has a several holes of golf on their grounds that is a big draw. Another place brags up their nightly happy hour with entertainment and advertise living there is like being on a cruise ship. I tell people to never pass up an opportunity to go to an open house or to book a tour at CCC even if they don't think they are ready for one in the next 5 years. They way you are doing the search for the right fit before the need is critical. If you find one, they will tell you if your assets are enough to move in or not and put you on a wait list. Most of these places have very long wait lists and if you name comes up to the top, and you're not ready, it's not big deal, you will stay on it until you are ready.
Thank you for the advice. I've been reading you since you chose your place, and I learned a lot then. I'm still in the phase of prepping to sell my house, so I'm trying to check out some places now, and I will take your advice to do more open houses. I will avoid any places attempting to replicate the cruise experience, though!!
DeleteNina
The CEO of that place even even wore a captain's white jacket and hat. LOL
DeleteLove your artwork, Jean! I also love the idea of creating a custom paint-by-number kit. I don't think I would ever have skills enough to do something like your dog portrait. That is some fine work!
ReplyDeleteThat MAGA lady sounds so annoying for a variety of reasons. I had a similar situation with a very loud and brash fellow student in my undergrad days. I was also accused of being shy by her, because I shut down whenever she appeared and subsequently sucked up all the oxygen in the room. Finally I told her "I'm not shy. I just don't like you." For once, she was speechless. I was left alone after that.
Love that saying on the sweatshirt. I think you should go for it!
Deb
I'm kind of known around here for my message tees and sweatshirts. So I think i will be getting it. Waiting for a sale.
ReplyDeleteI laughed out loud at you telling the woman "I'm not shy. I just don't like you." Thanks do much for sharing that story. I do the same thing, shut down around her.
I think personalised paint by numbers is a great idea also like the look of the shirt killing with kindness, it would suit me
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for the shirt to go on sale.
DeleteThat dog portrait. Wow. I mean, that's a big, huge wow. The Northern Lights isn't as bad as I expected from your description. Not bad at all,but it's no dog portrait! I read your comment couple back about teaching. I've never had a class where we all did the same thing. Greg sometimes teaches those to rich ladies at the yacht club (for an outrageous price, but it includes themed snacks). The main thing about learning to paint isn't learning to draw -- you can get away with a lot with even basic skills. It's learning how to control the paint, how to work with the color. Starting with basic shapes and going from there. I'm thinking of the blob critters I've done in workshops or the cats by number (which isn't paint by number). Which don't have to be cats. I've done birds and fish that way too -- draw numbers 1-9 all directions. An 8 might end up eye glasses or dragonfly wings. OK. I'm going to stop now. I have very little originality in my art but it's the passion that counts!
ReplyDeleteThe only kind of classes that are popular here are the paint and sip kind where everyone paints the same thing and goes home with a landscape of some sort, simple like the Northern Lights. The one class the art professor taught where everyone was suppose to just let their creativity speak was not well liked nor understood. We only have 75 people living here and that's not a big enough group to have many people interested in art.
DeleteYour paint blob painting are very creative! I lot of people can't see things in shapes like those. You have a very playful style and your use of color blows me away. It gives out happy vibes. My biggest problem is I want more control in my subject than my aged hands can do and I've never had a true gift for color. And color is everything! I've tried to change my style since moving here to a more impressionism style but I got side-tracked with other things that I'm better at, like teaching Mahjong.
“You just wait, you’re going to be really happy with how he’s going to turn this country around.”
ReplyDeleteSigh......
So far, not looking good.
Believe it or not, she and her husband STILL think he and the country are doing great. They've totally drank the Cool-Aide.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy all 5 of your pony tricks and pretty much anything you care to write about. The pictures of your art are always impressive! I think it's great you've never purposely offended anyone and don't want to ruin your record. As for me, I've tried multiple times over the years to offend a few people and don't believe I was ever successful; every single person I ever tried to offend was too stupid to realize what I was doing. There was both disappointment and satisfaction in that. lol
ReplyDeleteI love what you said about purposely trying to offend someone and them being too stupid to realize it. I can honestly understand why/how that happens. Low information people don't pick up on so references in the public square making insults go over their heads. Thanks for sharing that and giving me a laugh for today.
ReplyDeleteI love this phrase: that someday the filter in my brain—the one they say gives out in elderly people. So cleverly said. And I didn't know about the paint by number photo maker. I'll have to share that with my sister. And bless your heart for putting up with the side kick who wants to be just like you. I'm always impressed with all the different art classes you have taken. I have no drawing talent but I can admire others who do.
ReplyDeleteThe paint-by-number place that converts photos onto canvas is from POKEHAND on a Amazon. They come from China. I haven't ordered one since the tariffs, but before then they had very good service. I've done 6 or 7 so far.
DeleteI really do believe in the faulty brain filter in elderly people.
My first comment on your blog. I have been reading you for a while. Every of your post makes me wish to be like you when I grow up. I will be 68 next month.
ReplyDeleteWhat a nice thing to say, Thank you and welcome to my comments.
ReplyDeleteHi Jean - I'm a few years younger than you, but have a similar outlook in that I take a dislike to certain people and find it hard to hide that, plus the older that I get, my "filter" is fast disappearing. I've always been straightforward (others call it being rude!). Recently lost a friend because I spoke what I thought, and she didn't like it and complained to a common friend, who upbraided me without asking my side of the story. Well, I thought over it and figured out that even though I have a very small circle of friends, better to let both go - we've known each other for 30+ years - as difficult to repair relationships. C'est la vie!
ReplyDeleteI suppose that's one reason I like blogs like yours that talk about their daily life, and life stories - and you have many! Libby from Oz
I love hearing from Down Under!
DeleteWe all have to live our lives in a way that makes us, us. Losing two long time friends at once is sad but just as they expected you to be less out-spoken it would seem like they could have cut you some slack for being you...filter getting weak and all. Two good friends of my husband's who had known each other since grade school had a falling out over something said about one of their kids. That was over two years ago and they haven't spoken since. And these were guys who spoke on the phone a couple times a week for decades. Hard to understand why they can't forgive each other but it's their lives and I try to hard not to take sides and remain friends with both.
I think you hit on one of the reasons I love the blogs. We can heard the daily struggles and triumphs of others without actually having to get involved.
Well Jean, your Sub-Prime looks pretty damned good to me. I'm glad you don't wanna teach the MAGA Fruit Fly and I admire your restraint at keeping the Peace and biting the Tongue... I don't like disrupting my Calm and do prefer a Peaceful and Harmonious Existence too devoid of unnecessary conflict. But when any of the MAGATs say something really Offensive, Mean Spirited, Defending that Devil, or just plain Crazy and detached from Reality, I find my Filter is removed and all Restraint along with it. And frankly, I don't Care how they receive it... but I do think in a Residential Community it is probably best to just limit exposure and maintain your Calm despite who is an annoyance or you wouldn't wanna be Friends with. I don't think I'd do well in that environment since my tolerance as I'm getting Older is diminishing almost daily. *Ha ha ha and Winks* Lord knows how blunt, vicious or mean I'd get if Dementia set in? *Smiles*
ReplyDeleteI do think it's more important in an environment like I'm in to not react to the bait the MAGAs put out. We are like a family in that regard, where you don't want people throwing turkey legs at each other on Thanksgiving. I don't mind expressing my disdain for things going on in the world in my blog, just like you don't, because we don't have to deal with our readers every single day and they don't have to read us if they don't like what we say. We have a guy here who have lost that filter and he's been isolated to the point no one sits with him at an event or meal.
ReplyDelete