Techie Nightmare Week

I've been using WPS office to write posts which has been a free program for as long as I've had my computer. But they've been leaning on me lately to upgrade to their paid edition for $9.99 a month. That doesn't sound like much, given how much I write every day but as an 'enticement' they've added Artificial Intelligence to my documents and I absolutely hate it! It finds so many things that IT thinks I need to change that it's distracting. For example, when I capitalized Artificial Intelligence it suggested that I don't need to do that. When I wrote a sentence using "I'm" and "you're" AI told me the proper way to write those in a business letter is: "I am" and "you are". If AI was so smart they'd know I'm not writing a business letter, for crying out loud. In this short paragraph WPS has underlined 19 things in three different colors! When you click on an underlined word a drop down box covers up half my document to try to prove it’s smarter than me.

Once I clicked on an ‘accept all’ button thinking I was accepting all their suggested changes but it took me to a place to order the upgrade and it wouldn’t let me close that window or back out. Even using the ctrl+alt+delete trick didn’t work to get me out of that screen. I had to turn off my computer which we all know isn’t a good thing to do. Bottom line: When I get more time I have to replace WPS because I don’t like their strong-arm tactics. I’ve tried my Microsoft built-in WordPad but that doesn’t have spell check unless I download TinySpell. I research the stuffings out of anything that requires a download because I’m so afraid of making a mistake that I can’t fix. I might just end up using my tax refund to buy a new computer so I can upgrade to Windows 11 and a good word processing program. I’ll have to do it eventually when they quit supporting Windows 10 which is coming October 14, 2025.

This isn’t the only techie related problem I’ve had this week. I was on Facebook, reading posts from the various Mahjong and animal sites I visit daily when I clicked on one that opened up with scary bells ringing and flashing lights telling me not to turn the computer off and to call a number on the screen for help because my computer was supposedly locked and under attack by someone trying to steal my files. Again, the clrl+alt+delete trick didn’t work but I wasn’t born under a turnip truck so I got my Kindle out and googled the phone number on my computer screen. Not surprising it belonged to  a known scammer. So I turned off my computer, let it reboot, did all the security scans for Trojans, viruses, etc. Nothing turned up but what a waste of time that no doubt shot my blood pressure up. I love my computer but stuff like this will be the death of me. Someday they’ll find me slumped over my computer screen and my obituary will say, “Cause of death a false scam alert while using Facebook.”

What’s the saying? All frustrating techie things happen in threes. No? Well, close enough. Also this week my maintenance guy swapped out my dumb TV for my brother’s Roku TV which is a streaming thing I inherited when I helped my nieces clean out my brother’s room down in Memory Care. I wanted it so that I can watch Netflix and Amazon Prime in the living room where I can multitask instead of me having to go to the bedroom to see movies and binge-watch too late into the night. I'm hoping the change will result in a better quality of sleep.

My brother never learned to used a computer and couldn’t manage getting around that Roku TV so he pretty much watched the same, cowboy channel all the time. But even doing that, he’d screw up the settings so often that one of the maintenance guys made it a habit to stop in my brothers room at the end of every shift to get his TV back to TV Land. Fast forward to my hook up appointment happening this week and I assured the maintenance guy that I wouldn’t have the same issues my brother did, that I was pretty computer literate. Still, there is a learning curve and after he hooked up the cable, the WiFi, Netflix and Amazon Prime I was a happy camper. 

That is I was happy until I turned the TV off and back on again later on and I couldn’t find the stupid cable channels. So, I downloaded the TV’s manual onto my Kindle and spent several hours determined I could figure it out without having to embarrass myself with a call back to maintenance. Finally, I gave up, shot an email to the guy and not more than five minutes latter I discovered my problem. My mistake was so Micky Mouse I hate to even admit it here. But I will...when I'd see the list of channels open up I thought it was at the top of the list and I’d scroll down looking through all the Roku channels, but what I was missing is that I could scroll up as well! And that’s where they were---a nice, tidy list of my 88 cable channels---above the list of Roku channels. When my stress level can handle it, I’m going to learn how to build a ‘favorite’ list but for now I only have to wade through 88 cable channels to find the five I generally watch. (You can't just punch in a channel number on a Roku remote. It doesn't even have numbers.)

Until Next Wednesday!

 

Remind me, Who's Bright Idea was it to Move?

Remember the under the counter light fixture that fell in the middle of the night? I no more than got that one put back up when a few days later the second one fell. Why did all those screws that had been holding those fixtures in place for nearly two decades decide it’s time to give up on their sworen duty to preform?  Inquiring minds want to know. It’s one of the mysteries of life that fits in the category of being an inconvenience but not a disaster so I’m trying to keep these hiccups in prospective. Over 50 houses in the neighborhood were built within two years of one another by the same builder. If I had more time I'd start a support group for people with light fixtures that killed an assortment of countertop appliances.

One of the jobs on my To-Do list to get ready to list the house was to put new numbers on my mailbox. First impressions matter and my numbers were---well, old, faded out and tattered. I took my trusty single-edged razor blade and some Goo-Gone down to the street and managed to remove the old and stubborn numbers. I’ve never learned the fine art of letting the Goo Gone sit and do its job which means I end up making any job that require Goo Gone harder than it needs to be. Someone should learn from my mistakes but apparently it's not going to be me. As I was putting the new numbers on I noticed a wasp going in a finger hole on the back flap of the box, the box where I’d been putting my project supplies. I peeked inside and sure enough they’ve got a nest in there. I’m allergic to bees so I don’t mind telling you I felt like I’d suddenly found myself in a hostage situation. One wrong move and I’d be dead in five minutes. Finally, I catapulted into action and suited myself up with a long-sleeved shirt, hat, gloves and a can of wasp and bee spray but when I pressed the button on the can that is supposed to spray liquid 18 feet it wouldn’t even reach the back of the box. So this simple To-Do job ended with a trip to the store for another can of spray and eventually I’ll have to swing by hazardous waste to drop off the can that didn’t work.

I’m sitting in front of my old laptop and making typing mistakes one right after another. I don’t get why the whole world isn’t rising up against straight-line keyboards and forcing companies to make a laptop with ergonomic keyboard built-in and banishing all the straight-in keyboards to the trash heap of bad ideas. They say there is a learning curve to learning how to use an ergonomic keyboard but I’m suffering the reverse learning curve. After only a few days I’m already feeling my carpal tunnel getting worse.

Since I'll have to go the county’s recycling center for the spray can I decided it will be a good time to go to the next building over to drop off my old Logitech Ergo keyboard along with my defunct computer tower. Once I move and get settled in to my new desk I’ll get another curved keyboard and until then I’ll limp though using the laptop like everyone else seems to do without complaining like I do. My old Ergo keyboard had developed a few skipping and sticky keys and I’d worn the lettering off the keys so badly that I had to buy the key replacement decals. Twice! And isn’t it interesting that they even sell key replacement decals for just about any device on the market. I guess it’s not so interesting, now that I think about it. You can still buy replacement letters and numbers for those old typewriters and cash registers from the early 1900s or at least you could two years ago when I bought a one cent key for a brass cash register that I was getting ready to sell. That little dime-sized disk cost a small fortune.

I’ve been so busy lately working on my To-Do List for getting the house up for sale. The carpet cleaners were here, the A/C maintenance guy, too. The son-I-wish-I-had started power washing the house but only got one side done because he had to leave to take his wife to ER. She was having severe chest pains. I hate that she/they had to spend two days in the hospital but I'm glad that instead of it being heart related it turned out to be steroid related. She’d been taking them for a case of poison ivy. Final answer to the question you’re probably asking: Yes, Tim and I are behind on our Master Plan but that’s okay. Thursday will be the very definition of a Three Ring Circus at my house. He’ll finish up the power washing (just in time for the window cleaners on Monday) while I’m inside talking to my realtor who is coming over to run some numbers by me and to see how close I am to picture taking time. Also on Thursday a woman from the East Coast is picking up my beloved oak roll top desk that she bought on e-Bay. Now, there's a lady who knows how to bring great souvenirs home from vacation. ©

Happy, Happy, Happy Until I Wasn’t Anymore

It was already a beautiful day in the neighborhood with the bright sun making the newly fallen snow sparkle like an explosion in a glitter factory when I opened my email and found an invitation waiting for me. I jumped right on it with my RSVP since it said space was limited. With any luck weather-wise, in March I’ll be going to a fancy-schmancy country club for lunch and a presentation titled “Organizing and Preparing for the Move.” The Continuing Care Campus where I’ll be moving early next year sure knows how to keep our interest peaked. I got to pick between two dates which means I won’t be seeing all my future neighbors but I’m hoping they’ll be a few faces I’ll recognize from past events. Either way I love being around the sales coordinators. They get me, my sense of humor and silly side. Or, maybe they are just pretending they get me because they’re good at their jobs? Nah, they might be able to fake-smile at all the right places but they can’t fake the twinkling eyes that go with those smiles. 

This email came on the heels of an open house I went to this week at the CCC where they had all the interior package choices spread around the sales building for us to see and get samples of to take home. Next month we have to make one-on-one appointments to finalize our choices of flooring, carpeting, backsplashes, counter tops, paint color and appliances. Those will be an easy choices for me since I love silver, grays and white and I never get tired of living with those colors for the bones and basics. We also get to choose our light fixtures and that’s my biggest dilemma. Do I go with a throw-back to mid-century or with the ultra-modern cylinder style or bubble-like things that look like you'd need a safe cracker to change its light bulbs. Not that changing lights bulbs will be an issue because their maintenance department supposedly will be at the ready for all us oldies-but-goodies to present them with our To-Do lists. I have a month to drive myself crazy over my light fixtures. First world problems…what can I say other than I know how incredible lucky I am not to be living on the back streets of Calcutta and depending on foraging in garbage piles for my next meal. 

While at the open house I got to watch a man have a mini melt down and tell the sales coordinators that he wants his deposit back (while his wife didn’t) because he just found out the place is going to be firearms free. He found this out by asking how big the elevators are going to be because he has a huge gun cabinet that won’t fit in a normal elevator. He was also concerned that his kayaks won’t fit either. He has eight and plans to store them all in their spare bedroom! I guess he didn’t get the downsizing memo. I’m not sure I want to live near a guy who wants to be ready to take out a mass shooter from his third floor balcony. (Yes, he really did say that.) But on the other hand he’d probably make good blogger fodder when he accidentally sends a kayak down the staircase and takes out a few unsuspecting souls at the bottom. Fifty-two units, fifty-one stories (besides my own) I'll be able to tell. Sounds like blogger's heaven to me.

And then my week went downhill faster than an Olympic, two-man bobsled. I was happily doing my thing on my keyboard having a wonderful time loading up my e-Bay listings when everything froze up. I have a desktop model and I rushed it down to the computer repair shop, thinking I had no time to waste if I was going to get it back in time to close my next e-Bay auctions and print the necessary shipping labels. The geeks share a store with a cell phone repair service and as I stood at the counter using old-lady speak trying to explain what happened to my computer I swear the guy’s eyes glazed over. Usually they are able to translate what I’m saying and give me a theory of what the problem entails and how long it will take to fix it. Finally I said, “You’re the cell phone guy, aren’t you.” “Yes, the other guys will be in tomorrow.” 

I went home and fired up my backup laptop, tested it to make sure my printer was still attached through the magic of Wi-Fi. It was. But after a couple of hours the Wi-Fi quit working. Talk about Panic City! I tried every trick I knew and nothing helped. Okay, time for backup plan three---trying to access e-Bay on my Kindle. If worst came to worst I could hand write shipping labels but I ended up setting up a whole new e-Bay account! I still don’t know how that happened. I blame those tiny keyboards and a wrong box checked which only reinforces my pledge to never, ever do banking on my cell or Kindle for feared I’d transfer a bunch of money to a scam artist/Algerian who supposedly is going to release a billion dollars to me once I’ve paid the taxes. When I was finally able to get my desktop back I asked the geek about my Wi-Fi issues and he said they hear that a lot and there are drivers in laptops that can wear out. Who knew!

Now, I can’t get my printer back online! It’s always been finicky, losing its drivers whenever Windows does one of their mystery downloads in the middle of the night but usually I’ve been able to get them back. Not this time. I uninstalled and reinstalled that printer at least 15 times. Color me stressed out and no longer happy, happy, happy. But on the bright side, in the First World money solves almost everything. If I can’t get the printer working soon I’ll go buy another. ©

Windows, Book Club, Computer Hacks and Fat Dogs

I have a six by six window in my bedroom---actually two three by six, side-by-side windows set in the same frame---and they’re so drafty that I can see my Venetian blind moving on windy days. It was on my list of things to do this summer to look into getting them replaced. Enter the cold-canvas representative from Andersen windows, the supposed Cadillac in the industry. “We’re in the neighborhood setting up appointments for estimates.” So I took the bait and the next day the salesman showed up with his slick and polished monologue. Sure, they’ve got a twenty warranty, but I don’t so that doesn’t sway me, I told that guy. Sure, they’re workers are all bonded and insured. Most service people are these days. Again, I was not impressed. Sure, they are trained professionals. Sure, sure, sure… I could go on with all the stuff their salesman told me, but he couldn’t guarantee that my Venetian blind would still fit inside the window frame because these replacement windows are so much thicker than the ones I have. Call me picky but I don’t want a Venetian blind set on the outside of the frame and I’m not getting drapes, thank you Mr. Salesman/Amateur Decorator.

When he got to the estimate, I was in severe price sticker shock. $7,032.00 if I ordered within a month, $6,032.00 if I ordered that day and a whopping $8,032.00 if I want a price guarantee that will last a year. I was expecting around $2,000 give or take a few hundred. I said, “I’m not prepared to pay eight grand and I don’t make decisions like this on the spot, so I’m not ordering today.” “Not even to save a thousand?” he asked with disbelief in his voice. Then he hauled out a chart of payment plans with rates as low as $80 a month. He got a little pushy asking if I could afford that payment. I got a little insulted by how he was trying to reel me in and I stood up to signal we were finished talking. I wanted to say, “don’t call me” but I’m pretty sure he knew he wasn’t getting an order to replace those windows. That kind of money can buy a lot of window insulation kits at seven bucks a box. A new sheet of plastic and a roll of double-sided tape every winter; such a bargain! I might try Polar Seal Windows for another free estimate, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to continue living with the draft.

My book club met this week to discuss JoJo Moyes’ Me Before You. If you don’t know the storyline it’s about a quadriplegic in his early thirties who decides he wants to leave England and go to a Swiss clinic for an assisted suicide. But he promises his wealthy parents he’ll wait six months if they'll respect and accept his decision when the time is up. He’d already attempted to take his own life before the promise, so his parents hire an off-beat girl to essentially be on suicide watch and to maybe help him find a reason to change his mind. Let's just cut to the chase and say it was a great read (and movie) and we had an interesting discussion. Though I was surprised that five of the ladies in the club thought the guy could have “tried hard to be happy.” I didn’t say it but I was thinking that's a naive thing to say about a guy who had no control over any part of his body but his brain. The Stephen Hawkings’ of the world who are able to find meaningful work and a dedicated support team are few and far between in the world of quadriplegics. 

I took my backup computer into my repair place for its yearly tune up and antivirus control software update. They use Kaspersky, which is one of the largest and highest rated antivirus software in the entire world and I asked the tech guy if he still trusts this Russian company not to put a backdoor into their programs so they can mess around inside our computers. He didn’t raise an eyebrow or look at me like I was a crazy old lady when he replied, “Our government reverse engineers their programs all the time and haven’t found a hidden backdoor yet. If they are putting them in they’re very good at it.” I don’t know whether to be comforted or scared about that answer.

Levi my Mighty Schnauzer got his yearly checkup at the veterinary clinic this week. That little stinker is not so little anymore! He gained two whole pounds since last May! He weighs thirty-one pounds and I’m thinking I should figure out a way to smuggle him into the YMCA to run the treadmill with me. Sure, I live in a neighborhood with sidewalks but I’ve been watching too much Judge Judy and Hot Bench on TV lately where they fight about who pays the vet bills for dogs injured in neighborhood dog fights. Plus I’m not fond of feeling like I’m in a fish bowl when we walk around here and the nature trail is ripe with ticks. The vet said at Levi’s age cutting his food back would make more of a difference than increasing his exercise. I asked him if he’s ever been around a schnauzer when he's hungry. He laughed. “They do live up to their reputation for being stubborn, don't they.” Oh, yes, that’s an understatement. ©

Generational Hits and Misses

Why do young people think that old people have nothing to do but sit around waiting for them to follow through on a promise? If I hadn’t been young once myself who was guilty of taking my parents for granted I would still be madder than a wet hen over something that happened this past weekend. I’ve never seen a wet hen but I have it on good authority that as idioms go this one makes no sense because chickens don’t mind being wet. And I suppose it makes no sense for me to be annoyed at being on the receiving end---rather than the giving end---of broken promises between generations but I was. “Mom, we just got too busy to stop by. I know, I should have called.”

Here’s what happened. Last July I mentioned to a relative of Don’s that I wanted to get rid of the bed frame and mattress set in my spare bedroom and turn the space into an art room. The mattresses while not new hadn’t been slept on more than a handful of nights---30 to be precise. She said her son (a guy in his forties) was looking to get a new bed for their daughter because she’d outgrown the single bed she was using. So the relative called her son and, yup, he wanted my mattress set. I was giving it away so I thought he’d come get it soon after the call. Nope. When that didn’t happen and as time went by I thought he’d changed his mind. For all I knew, his daughter pitched a fit about sleeping on something used. I wasn’t hearing anything from the mother or son.

Fast forward to this week when out of the blue I got a Facebook message from the guy that he’d like to pick up the mattresses and bed frame on Sunday and he would call Saturday to arrange a time. So I did my weekend shopping on Friday. Cleaned my house. Stripped down the bed and moved some things out of that room and into my bedroom to make it easier to get the mattresses out. I even went down the dreaded basement steps to clean up my painting easel that I was going to ask him to bring up while he was here. Saturday went by. No call. By 4:30 on Sunday still no call or Facebook message. I was the proverbial wet hen at that point in time and I visualized months going by before I’d hear anything again. So I started planning a passive aggressive act of revenge he’d never know about. It involved not giving him a collectible I knew he’d love. I’d sell it on eBay. Then he finally called, came over within twenty minutes and as he and his wife were leaving, I gave into my better self and presented him the family heirloom, cutting myself out of a $150 to $200 sale on eBay. Yup, I’m going to need to practice revengeful acts of passive aggressiveness because I clearly suck at it.

The lesson I learned from this saga is that until I became one, I really never understood how disruptive it was to tell an older person I’d stop by on a certain day, then not show up. Like many young people probably do, I assumed my folks would always be there sitting in front of the TV---no place to go, nothing else to do but wait for me to come brighten their day. Big sigh here. Sticking with the chicken idioms, I have to wipe the egg off my face and stop complaining. The universe is just setting things in balance. My Yin got Yanged.

Change of Topic: I got a new printer but I took one look at the nearly non-existence directions for setting it up and I decided to call in the geek guy to do it. I found a tutorial online that would have walked me through the process but I found a tutorial online to help me fix my old printer, too, and all I managed to do is give that one the final death blow. The guy, who was all decked out in black leather from head to toe, showed up on Monday. Not on time but since when do any service people show up when they’re scheduled so I didn’t get bent out of shape. This time he wasn’t wearing his vest of many pockets that I lusted after the last time he was here but that didn’t stop me from lusting after his computer skills. I think he specializes in helping grandparent types with their computer problems because, for a young guy, he sure knows how to communicate with people nearly three times his age. We covered everything from antiques to tattoos. We were talking about how computers are for his generation like cars were for my generation---a social hub of sorts---when he said something interesting. He said in my day we had to memorize and remember stuff and apply logic and that older people still problem solve that way while his generation just has to know how to look things up online. The bottom line---if he’s telling the truth---is he thinks older people are smarter than his generation because they are lost without their cellphones, Wi-Fi and the internet. True or not, it was nice to talk to a young person who genuinely seems to respect, appreciate and take an interest in his elders.  ©